Ms. Me

dad notes

2012-01-28T19:42:00.000-05:00

I like getting notes from dad. They're

usually tucked in a book or in an envelope and then placed between my kitchen doors.

He also sends snail mail. It usually includes a newspaper article with the important facts highlighted with yellow highlighter by dad...........................and then off to the side are dads hand written thoughts and opinions about the article. Some of the time it's pictures of a family event with a hand written letter from dad. I think it's sweet he takes the time..........................he still writes love letters to mom!

big dog

2012-01-26T13:09:00.000-05:00

While out with daughter yesterday we went to the animal shelter to visit the animals. I try to get there every couple of months to visit the furry little critters. As we walked in the door there was a huge, black dog sitting in the middle of the floor. I have a little fear of large dogs. This guy was over a hundred pounds. So I felt a little intimidated but went about my business of visiting the animals anyway..............daughter sat on the floor at one of the cat cages and was talking to a couple of cats. Big, black dog walked over to her and laid his head on her shoulder......and he stayed that way while she visited the cats and kitties. It was the cutest site. Made my heart melt. So we gave him lots of hugs and talked a bit with him........and as we visited with hmi I wondered if he'd fit in my back seat........and what boyfriend, mr. bojangles, and we-ping would think if i came home with this monster of a dog.
Even now I kind of miss him..........keep seeing him resting his head on daughters shoulder.......want to bring him home and give him love and a family.

wed

2012-01-25T20:00:00.000-05:00

I finished a painting of Mr. Bojangles and We-Ping this evening. Boyfriend said Aw, that's cute. Daughter laughed. lol. I agree with boyfriend, it turned out cute!

My quotation marks aren't working. Neither are my parentheses and question mark. FYI.

Daughter and I hung out out for a little while today.
She needed a new red polo shirt for work. So we shopped for a shirt and went out for a late lunch, or early supper.
She talked. A lot.
I mostly listened.
We had a nice time.

Dad left a couple books between my kitchen doors.
One is Angela's Ashes. I read it a long time ago and didn't like it.
The other one is Imperfect Justice. The attorney, Jeff Ashton, who prosecuted Casey Anthony
for the murder of her little girl wrote the book. It's about the Anthony trial I guess.
I hope he did a better job on the book than he did prosecuting her.
My dad thinks he did a good job. Had he done a job well done, she'd be in prison.........because her attorney wasn't so great either.
His biggest mistake was not bringing the little girl to life, so to speak, to the jurors....... IMHO........and even though he wasn't required to explain why she killed her child, he should have spent a lot more time explaining why she did it and what she was doing in the 30 days after her daughter died.

Daughter and I are going to make popcorn and watch American Idol. I already have a couple favorites.

friday

2012-01-20T19:54:00.000-05:00

best work friends birthday present turned out kinda cute. the pot is Terra Cotta, so it won't blow away, & it's a lot bigger than it looks in the picture.

thursday

2012-01-19T23:22:00.001-05:00

Mr. Bojangles is sitting on my lap and purring up a storm. He likes when I rub the sides of his mouth and his eyes. I love my little furry friend.
My best work friends birthday is Saturday.
Since my work hours have been cut I really don't want to spend money on a birthday gift. She lives out in the country. Her and her husband spend mornings on the front porch, when the weather allows, having their coffee. She loves her porch. So I have a couple things in mind that I might do for her birthday that will be budget AND porch friendly.
If it turns out okay I'll post a picture.
We need to admit two more patients at work to get our hours back. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Things usually end up working out.........

Daughter is doing well in school.
Her English comp 1 and now comp 2 teacher graduated from one of daughters high schools biggest rival schools. The rival school is upper middle class and rich kids. Our school has students from mostly poor and lower middle income families. Students at both schools have misconceptions and prejudices about each other that feeds the rivalry. We call them Cake Eaters. They call much worse.
Daughter and teacher had an instant positive connection though.........he reassured daughter right away that he wasn't from one of the rich families. As though being rich is in some way wrong or immoral. Daughter didn't defend herself against any misconceptions he may have had about her. She didn't feel the need to.................anyway..........
He's been great with daughter I think. Really helping to build her confidence where academics are concerned.......and pushes her in a good way............told her after she confided in him she was considering dropping out, that of all his students she's the one he had pegged as the one most likely to be successful in school..........she says she has learned more from him this year than all of her years in k-12.
I don't even know the guy but I'm grateful for him.

wed

2012-01-04T11:41:00.000-05:00

whole bran bagel with low fat onion and chive cream cheese spread
6 whole pickles
1 cucumber
1 tomato
1 can of black olives
1 can of pineapples
handful of pretzel nuggets
2 cups of chili
tuna fish on whole wheat toast

that's what i ate yesterday.
i graze and need to quit. especially the pickles, they're loaded with sodium.
i got on the scale yesterday to see if i gained weight over the holiday. was pleasantly surprised to see i lost two more pounds.

our hours at work have been cut again. we lose one 12 hour shift a pay period. so over the past year my hours have been cut by 40 hours per month.
I can't afford a week off each month.
they expect the cut to last for 6 weeks, but there's no way to really know.
my biggest concern is daughters college tuition &
i worry about taking more money out then i'm putting in..........................................so i will apply at other places today for part time work.

daughters best friend has been disowned by her family.
a couple weeks ago she had sex for the first time.
she was worried because she had some bleeding so she had daughter call me
to ask if she'd be okay.
i hugged her over the phone and reassured her. mostly i was concerned though about whether or not she used birth control. teens want to pretend they're not stupid when it comes to birth control. i was worried she'd lie about using birth control rather than appear to be irresponsible. i talked to her about the morning after pill, that she could take it if she didn't use birth control. but that there was a short window of time and she had to be open and honest. she promised she had used a condom.
a week later she calls daughter at 330 in the morning asking daughter to take her to the hospital. she's still bleeding and passing huge clots.
daughter takes her to the hospital and freaks cause her friend is passing potato sized clots, is pale, and lightheaded. she convinces her friend to call her parents.
her parents screamed at her, told her she had ruined her life, and her father told her she was not welcomed back at home or allowed to have contact with her siblings. all day yesterday her father sent to her via text messages demeaning, hateful comments.
mind you her father is the brother to the coach that called daughter a fucking, useless, crybaby bitch. two peas in a pod........
her father hates white people. he likes to think of his self as an ex slave..he's 37 years old. give me a freaking break. so best friend also has to hide the fact that the guy she had sex with is white.
anyway........best friend has a tear to the cervix, thus the bleeding. her blood counts were ok. the hospital doctor told her to put in a tampon which would hopefully put pressure on the cervix and would stop the bleeding.
now this is a girl who graduated number one in her class with full scholarship offers to a few different universities, is going to college, doesn't drink, or party. studies, works a job, baby sat her 4 or 5 younger siblings all through high school, did all the laundry for 7 people while growing up, dealt with her fathers tantrums, watching him throw computers and knock furniture over while in a tantrum........and kept her mouth shut when her father stole 150 bucks from her scholarship money to download i-tunes to his ipod. what a dad. he was so far from perfect. but by god his daughter was going to be!
she had sex. she's 19.
i understand her fathers fears. especially considering he was a father for the first time at 17.
i don't understand his hatefulness, and thoughtlessness, and ignorance.
when you're forced to be your parents idea of perfect, you're going to fail. she tried though........and she's exhausted from trying, i think. everything she has accomplished and she feels like a failure. I feel sad for her.

merry christmas

2011-12-26T19:25:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas !

The squirrel

is moms

little friend. She watches him from her bedroom window. I met him and snapped his picture Christmas day.

friday

2011-12-23T01:09:00.000-05:00

Mom was hospitalized for GI bleeding again but is back home and doing well. Daughter and I cleaned her house and did her Christmas gift wrapping yesterday. Dad had already done some of the cleaning which was a huge help. He was thrilled we were there to take over. Mom did a lot of talking. So did dad. It's fun hanging out with them some of the time. They crack me up.
Mom asked me if I thought dad would look like Marc Anthony in the Marc Anthony jacket she bought for him for Christmas. I told her he might if she closes her eyes and asks him to talk to her with an accent......................and she talked about how expensive toilet paper is now a days. I told her about recently running out of toilet paper and how I used some of boyfriends coffee filters in place of toilet paper until I could get to the store. She thought that was hysterical........I made her promise not to tell boyfriend.

I did some cookie making this evening.
The girl up the street loves my sugar cookies. I always bake a big batch for her..

I finished my gift wrapping last night. Daughter worked on a paper for school while I wrapped.........and we chit chatted as we worked.
She's doing good in school. So is her boyfriend. I'm proud of them.
I heard daughter telling one of her friends who was trying to talk daughter into going out on a week night and ditching her classes the next day......I heard daughter tell her friend that, un like her friend, her mom was paying her tuition and she would not throw her moms money away.
I was happy to hear her say it.....happy she wasn't taking it for granted......

I was shopping the other day and BOOM! The floor started tilting under my feet.......left, right, forward, backwards...............I felt the way a toddler looks when first starting to walk...............and then it went away.

Mr. Bojangles and We-ping are doing well, though Mr. Bojangles likes knocking around the ornaments hanging on the tree.
Santa is bringing catnip for them.

sunday

2011-12-18T11:11:00.000-05:00

My kitchen wall. Old border and paint being removed so that the walls could be painted. Looks like an angel I think. Odie, it kinda looks like the angel in your Sunday posting.

wed.////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

2011-11-30T19:14:00.000-05:00

I'm /just /about /finished /with m/y /////C///hristm/as /shopping.///////////////////////////////////// ///////I//////only /hav/e /boyfriend /to /be /buy /for
and /thats /it.////////////////////////////
S/omething /is /wrong /with //////////////////////////////////m//y ///////////////////keyboard /or /c/omputer /as /you /c/an
see /here./////////////////////.....////////////////
I/t's /driv/ing ////////////////////////////////////////m/e //////////////////////////////////////////////////batty!///////////////////////////

I///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////'m///////////////////thinking /about /putting /up ///////////////my
C/hristm////as /tree /today,/ /and ////////////////////////////////////////the /out /door /lights.//////////////////////////

Odie,/ /I/ /lov/e /all /your /rec/ent ///////posts /but am /bloc////////////////ked /from/ ///c/om/m/enting
on /your /blog./././///////////////////////otherwise //////////////////////i/////// /would!///////////////////////////////////////////////

friday

2011-11-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

Just because I think it's cute!

My 3 Boos. We had a nice Thanksgiving.

My homemade wreath turned out ok.

wed

2011-11-23T09:50:00.001-05:00

I've been busy.
I crash at night, and then sleep like a baby.

Oldest son and I spent last Sunday together.
He works evenings/nights, six days a week, and he has
a social life........it's difficult finding the time
to spend time with him. When I get the chance I jump on it.
We had a nice time.........

I was scheduled to work Christmas.
Luckily one of the younger nurses wants the holiday pay and has
agreed to work for me.
So YAY!
I'm off Thanksgiving and New Years.
I may be wrong but I think this is my first Thanksgiving off in many years. I'm certain it's my first New Years day off in at least a decade.
I'm happy.

One of my patients asked me for a Vicodin yesterday. She asked me in front of another resident.. The other resident said, in a challenging, playful, competitive way "My nurse gives me two Vicodin." So I said to my resident in front of the other patient "When you come out of the dining room I have 2 more vicodin, a shot of Jack Daniels, and a sexy Italian man waiting for you in your room."

2011-11-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

I went to the grocery store after work last night.
Must haves on my grocery list every week:
fresh baby spinach
2 jars of pickles (I think I'll start making my own so that I can save money, and use less salt.)
almond stuffed olives
a red onion
avocado
a can of black olives
cucumbers
3 cans of pineapples
a loaf of whole grain bread
tomatoes
low sodium V8 juice
everything else i buy just depends....

I bought my turkey last night. He was 44 cents a pound. I think he weighed 21 pounds. It's huge. I want to be able to send a bunch home with my sons. I bought stuff for an extra pumpkin pie so I could send a pie home with them too.

Daughter and "Page 83"Ms. Me: page 83 (1 of 3) have become the best of friends.
They go dancing, watch movies, talk on the phone,go fishing, and even work together. He was supposed to be daughters boyfriends dorm partner at EKU, but decided to stay here and attend NKU.........he's doing good in school.
Daughters boyfriend is doing well at school. He's homesick a little I think. He asked his mom if he could transfer to NKU. She's making him finish up his first year at EKU before she'll discuss a transfer with him. I think she's doing the right thing......
Daughter is doing well in school.
It excites her. She's enthusiastic when she talks about her classes. She spends a lot of her time at the library.
I just want her to stick with it.......you know?

Boyfriend is home from Colorado.
It did him good to see his sons, and his siblings.
His brother is in a rehab facility.
The left isde of his body is paralyzed from the stroke. He can speak though.......and his speech is clear..... his thought process is intact...........he's very lucky.
He called last night to say he moved his left leg........and he has regained gross movement to his left arm........so that's great!
Hopefully he'll be able to return to his home in a couple of months.

Boyfriends sister tucked a card with a note for me in boyfriends suitcase. It was sweet. Boyfriend is the youngest of 7 children. I think all of his brothers and sisters were 8 years and older by the time he was born. His older sister is protective of him still.
I think my sons will be like that with daughter all of their lives.

friday

2011-11-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

Boyfriend left today for Colorado. His brother had a stroke, boyfriend wanted to be with him. His brother should be okay after a couple months of rehab. I hope.

I was relieved that boyfriend left town, though sorry for the reason.
I need the time away from him.

thursday

2011-11-10T09:28:00.000-05:00

Daughter and I went to a couple malls yesterday to do some Christmas shopping. We also went out to lunch. The conversation never lacks when we're together. She always has a story to tell or something to say. She''s fun. I enjoy being with her.
I remember when she was a baby, maybe six months old.... I took her to the doctor for her check-up. While examining her he looked at me and said "She's a little social butterfly!" I guess I remembered what he said because I was born such a shy person. I was hoping my children wouldn't be. I looked up to her doctor. I respected him......and by golly if he said she was a social butterfly, then it had to be! Luckily he didn't say she was a loner, a serial killer, or a wall flower. Right?

My work friend who went to Jerusalem and put my prayer in The Wailing Wall lost his temper at work last week and quit his job in the middle of his shift.
It's easy to understand his frustration. They will replace him with another nurse. Nothing else will change. All of those things that drove him nutty will be waiting for the new nurse to deal with......

I'll grocery shop today.
I love shopping. I don't like grocery shopping so much. It's more of a chore than anything. So I'll get that out of the way and then I'll make a Christmas wreath. I've always wanted one for my front door but was too cheap to spend the money on one. Have you seen the prices on them? They're expensive.
So I'll give it a try!

saturday

2011-11-05T20:41:00.001-05:00

Fifteen years or so ago I bought a couple of lamps at a yard sale. I didn't need them at the time. They were pretty, and only five bucks for the pair. I knew I'd use them some day.
Now I need two lamps. I've been shopping for weeks for a lamp or two that I like. Good lamps can be expensive. I'm a tight wad.
Last week I remembered my yard sale lamps. So I got them out of the attic.
They're pretty.They have a retro 50ish-60ish look to them. But they're pretty just the same. They just need to be cleaned. I'm happy.
Now I'm on the hunt for lamp shades.

tuesday

2011-11-01T19:28:00.000-05:00

I cleaned all day yesterday, and cleaned all day today. I still have lots of cleaning to do. The reason I hate cleaning my house is because I see all of the repairs/updates that are needed. Then I feel frustrated that I don't have the money or time to get to all the repairs/updates at once. It makes me want to throw in the towel and just walk away.
But then I get my spring/fall cleaning completed, and I walk through my house at night when all is quiet and everyone is sleeping........and I'm grateful for and proud of my little home.

The past few weeks I've been putting together a room in the basement for me to work on my paintings, and some old furniture that I plan on refinishing. The room is coming together......I had to put it on the back burner, again, so I can finish my fall cleaning..........it's whats motivating me to get finished with my cleaning.......so I can get back to that room, and do the things I enjoy.

Daughters tuition is due this week.
I have it.
For that I am grateful.

A Christmas gift last year from daughter. Isn't it sweet?

sunday

2011-10-23T01:22:00.000-05:00

It's 1 A.M.
I just finished paying bills, and I cleaned out a few drawers.
I never quite know what to throw away and what to keep when it comes to bank statements, divorce papers, receipts, contracts..............is there a rule of thumb? Do I keep that crap for a year, ten years?
It's getting on my nerves having all these papers...........as soon as I throw them away I'll need them......

I'm paying my nephew to remove some old border, hang a new light fixture, fill in nail holes, and paint my kitchen.
It's nice having someone else do the work.

The fire marshall recently did an insevice at my work.
She said you should clean the lint from the back of your dryer every few months. I think that's what she said..........it might be more often.................I thought all you had to do was empty the lint thingy...................a few nights ago daughter and I went to the basement and moved the dryer away from the wall.........................there was five inches of lint on the floor behind the washer and dryer, on the backs of the washer and dryer, and from the floor up the wall about three feet......................and to boot, the exhaust hose was disconnected from the bottom of the dryer...........
We cleaned the mess........and vacuumed all the dust from the ceiling and surrounding walls.
Boyfriend put a new exhaust thingy on the dryer, and a new vent do hinky that goes to the outside.
I've always wondered why my cool air duct returns and floor vents were so dusty and gross all the time...............................I'm guessing it's because of the dryer not being vented........I hope that's why..........cause now it shouldn't be a problem.....

Daughter is doing really well in school.
She loves her creative writing teacher.
He told her she should be in a more advanced class, and that she was the perfect student.
She called me at work telling me how proud she was of herself............that she feels so confident.......something she has never felt when it comes to academics........................I wanted to hug the guy.

Boyfriend asked me out on a date for this coming Wed.
I love him.
He's my best friend...........cracks me up that he asked me out on a date.
We go out all the time. We just don't call our time out a date.
Wednesday it's a date!

Wed.

2011-10-19T19:42:00.000-05:00

My working girl.

My college girl...........

A tired Mr. Bojangles

foreclosed house

2011-10-12T20:35:00.000-05:00

I didn't put a contract in on the foreclosed house.
All the work it needs inside, combined with the fact that it has serious plumbing problems, plus having my present mortgage scared me off.
Boyfriend offered to help. My dad offered to buy the house, rehab. it and then sell it to me for not a dime more than what he'd eventually spend. I was so tempted. Tempted to take dad up on his offer, and tempted just to go at it alone..............................I didn't though............. I'm happy with my decision.

my doll house

2011-10-07T21:43:00.000-05:00

The foreclosed house that I'm interested in is now open for contracts!
My dad looked at it today. Boyfriend looked at it today. The old man who lives up the street from it took pictures of it today.......and 11 other people put in contracts on it. It's been open for contracts for two days.
I have an appointment to look at it tomorrow.
It's small. Smaller than my house. But the lot is much bigger than mine, and it's all flat. There's no house to the right of the property. Just woods. It's a single story brick home. Did I mention it's small? It was built in 1958. So the closets are small. It has a galley kitchen that could be really nice with a little work.
I love the lot.
And even though the side screened in porch needs work, I really like that porch! I love the back yard..............If I bought it I could probably cut my gas and electric bill in half. My mortgage payment would drop a few hundred bucks.........that makes me happy.......it could be a doll house with a little TLC.........a small doll house..........I'd rather have more money than space.........
The down side is what if my house doesn't sell forever and ever............I couldn't carry two mortgages for very long.............it would be risky to buy a house before selling mine.........................................I've almost always played it safe....................maybe it's time to take a chance?
Maybe when I actually get inside of the house, rather than just looking through the windows, I'll hate the place...........

a beautiful day

2011-10-05T16:16:00.000-05:00

It's so beautiful outside today!
So I tried spending as much time outdoors as possible.
I also spent most of the day alone, by choice. It felt good.
I looked at pumpkins. Debated whether or not to spend money on one..............and remembered with a smile when my sons and their friends left 15 or 20 pumpkins in my front yard one night several years ago. Some of them were even decorated. They crack me up!

I stopped by my parents house. Took a bouquet of pretty fall flowers to mom, and chit chatted with her for awhile. It was nice.

I think I'll have supper on the deck with boyfriend and daughter.
I have chicken tenderloins marinated in a basil and garlic marinade, in the oven, and stir fry veggies steaming. It smells good!

Mom told me she was first runner up for prom queen her senior year of high school. I didn't know that about her.
I know my mom. But I wish I knew more things like that about her.........stuff from her childhood. I have bits and pieces from mom and dad about their childhoods............wish I had more.

tuesday

2011-10-04T02:05:00.000-05:00

I've raised my children.

What do I do now?

friday

2011-09-30T20:47:00.000-05:00

I need some adventure in my life.

thursday

2011-09-29T19:08:00.000-05:00

The morning was spent working in the yard with boyfriend.
We mowed, edged, trimmed, swept, and picked up crap I cut down last week...........feels good to have it done.

Right now it's raining........a down pour.......I have the front door open so I can hear it. It's soothing.

PS

2011-09-28T21:30:00.000-05:00

Our smoke detector alarmed the other night at around 2 A.M.
Boyfriend got out of bed to check the house for fire or smoke.
I slept right through it.
That's not very comforting.

today

2011-09-28T21:23:00.000-05:00

I love this time of year.
I love the weather.
I love all the beautiful colors in the trees.
I love the cold rains.
It's a great time of year!

I kinda miss my kids AND my parents today.
I texted my oldest son back and forth for a couple of minutes, and I called my mom tonight
to say hello.
It helped.

We Ping is on the kitchen floor bathing. I walked past her a few minutes ago. She rolled on her side as I walked by and wrapped her paws around my ankles. I pet her.
Mr. Bojangles is next to me on the couch. He's sleeping.
I like to roll the very tip of his tail between my forefinger and thumb. I don't know why, I just do.

My car seats are heated. It wasn't something I looked for when I bought the car. I though I'd probably never use them. But the other day after working 14 hours, and because I had menstrual cramps, my lower back was hurting. So I turned the heat on in the drivers seat. It felt like a heating pad on my back. By the time I arrived home from work, my back was feeling better. The next day I couldn't wait to leave work so I could use the heat on my back again. It feels really good.

I reached my 20 pound weight loss goal. Yay!

sunday

2011-09-25T18:11:00.000-05:00

Nothing much going on........yesterday was spent doing exactly what i wanted to do......which was much of nothing........i sat on the couch with my computer, t.v. remote control, and a coffee table in front of me with a stack of books.........i indulged myself with tv, computer, and books............

I slept in this morning, showered, went to the grocery, balanced my bank account, paid bills, took a drive with boyfriend..................that's about it!

boyfriend gave both the cats their monthly flea treatment, and he cooked dinner.....

I have my scrubs in the washer. All that's left to do is pack my lunch for work tomorrow. I might cut the grass, I might not.

cat lady

2011-09-23T22:23:00.000-05:00

I went to a work friends wedding this evening. The guy she married is also one of my work friends.
It was a very sweet ceremony, and a fun reception though I didn't stay long.
Watching them get married made me think that it would be nice to commit to boyfriend in that way that you do when you get married.............but then I questioned whether or not it would be a mistake ..................and is boyfriend even the right man for me.....................................................so I went to a beautiful wedding tonight..............thought about my wedding( not my marriage) to ex husband (we eloped)............thought about marrying boyfriend....................................wondered if it would be a mistake .................................and then let the thought of marriage go...............
I 'll probably end up being the crazy lady with cats, and a garden. That would
be OK with me.

friday

2011-09-16T20:01:00.000-05:00

Feels like fall.
I love it......

I ran in to my older sister yesterday at the gas station.
She looked happy. She looked drug free. She was on her way to a meeting.
I told her tell our family hello when she got to the meeting.
She laughed. So did I.

Mr. Bojangles is doing well.

Daughter is adjusting well at the small community college she's attending.
She doesn't seem to be filled with all the anxiety she felt while in high school.

to Odie

2011-09-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

(So sorry, Odie. You and Linda are in my thoughts. Give Linda a hug for me, please.)

Mr. Bojangles

2011-09-12T20:42:00.000-05:00

He was neutered today.
He handled it like a champ. Because he is a champ.......and my furry, little, friend.

things/activities/places i like

2011-09-11T21:37:00.000-05:00

saturday

2011-09-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

It's my weekend off. Yay!

Daughter was invited to the high school homecoming to crown this years queen. So after a long day at school, and then long evening at work, she went to the homecoming last night.
It made her feel a little sad.
She misses her school.

I tried staying up late last night because some of the time I jsut don't want the day to end. I fell asleep on the couch though, with M r. Bojangles, and I think it was before mid night.

Sister has been out of rehab. for over a month. She's doing well. Her and two of her 12 step friends went to other sisters house and encouraged her to go to rehab. She agreed. So sister and her 2- 12 step friends took other sister to the rehab. hospital. She has hundreds of friends she's met over the past 2 plus decades from the program.........hopefully she'll be OK. Hopefully both of them will be OK.
Why after a couple plus decades of clean living would someone start using again? Did they miss one meeting too many? Was it the money lost when the market crashed? Taking care of a chronically ill parent? Menopause? Husbands illness? Empty nest syndrome?
I don't know.......

Work is going well.
I like the people I work with.....we had a really good state survey, again.

It was pouring down rain, thundering and lightening the other day while at work and the temperature outside was chilly. So the building felt a little chilly.........and the usually bright building inside felt cloudy..............I wish we would have had a bunch of huge over stuffed sofas in the lounges. I would have gathered all of my patients, taken them out of their hard, cold wheelchairs, put them on the big soft couches........and covered them with the softest blankets........ popped popcorn for them..........and put on some really good movies.....if they wanted to........

not sure what today is....

2011-09-07T20:44:00.000-05:00

quiet day.
went to the grocery store.
finished one of the books mom
and dad gave to me. started another one.
caught up on a couple of my favorite
Showtime series.
did one load of laundry.
made home made pizza, on whole wheat crust.....loaded it with veggies.
talked a little with boyfriend.
chit chatted with daughter.
played with kitties.
packed my lunch for tomorrow.
exfoliated my face.
going to bed in a few minutes!

monday

2011-09-05T19:54:00.000-05:00

After work last night boyfriend took me out for dinner and then to watch the WEBN fireworks. The fireworks show was awesome, as usual. Especially the tribute they did in remembrance of 911. It was very well done. It would have made you cry a little.

Today I cleaned and made a huge meal for my family. Sons were both here, and oldest sons girlfriend, and of course daughter and boyfriend were here.
We had a wonderful time.

Daughters boyfriend and all of her friends were back in town this weekend to see the fireworks. So daughter was in her glory............daughters boyfriend stopped over the house to say hello. (he was invited to dinner but couldn't stay because he had to head back to school) It was good to see him and to talk to him a bit about college life. He says it's going well. I'm happy for him!

Daughters first day of school is tomorrow.
She feels a little anxious.
I asked her if she'd mind if I took a picture of her on her first day. She tutted, kind of rolled her eyes and laughed a little.
I'll take that as a go ahead. :O)

The Thyroid medicine I'm taking feels like a miracle drug to me.
I feel so so SO much better!

wednesday

2011-08-31T22:58:00.001-05:00

Daughter and I hung out today.
We went shopping and out to lunch.
We were both in a playful mood, so it was a day full of laughing and joking around. I loved every minute of it!

rambling

2011-08-28T21:50:00.000-05:00

I'm having a beer( something i rarely do) and watching the mtv's vma's with daughter.
lady gaga can sing.....she doesn't really need all the crazy theatrics......i'm looking forward to seeing adele perform. she has a great voice and a certain something special.

oldest son and his girlfriend stopped by this evening.
he tries so hard to be what he thinks i want him to be.
i just want him to be his self. that's more than good enough for me.

daughters summer break is over.
she's working at a popular, young woman's clothing store in cincinnati........and starts school sept. 6. i was such a chicken at her age. she's not.

the cardiologist said he'd see me in 5 months. he's not very concerned with my ekg. he thinks my thyroid was the cause. i like him. he cusses, plus he's funny and makes me feel like we're old friends. our ex house psychiatrist at my wwork used to cuss. why i would like it when doctors cuss i don't know. maybe because it puts me at ease.

the follow up visit with my family doctor went okay. he assured me i don't have thyroid cancer............and all my blood work was normal.

one time a doctor threw a chart at my sister. it hit her in the chest.
he was pissed about something.
she picked the chart up and threw it back at him. just saying.......

friday at work one of my patients told me i was his very favorite nurse.....i was asking him to be patient.....then i said" maybe i should be more patient"......then he said "you're my very favorite nurse, sandy." made my heart ache a little. he's a sweetheart.

they're going to do an amy winehouse tribute on the vma show that we're watching. she had a wonderful, soulful voice.
i knew she would die.
i was hoping for her though......

my work friend and her husband stopped by yesterday.
her husband and boyfriend hit it off at daughters graduation party.
it's been awhile since i've had a close girlfriend.
my last really close friend died. i'm back and forth between wanting friends. i know that sounds weird......but it's how i feel.
i love my work friend though.....boyfriend really likes her too......the 4 of us plan on getting together again soon.

middle son is taking me on his boat to hear jimmy buffet when he plays at riverbend. i can't wait. i'd love to spend a day with jimmy buffet. i think he'd be fun.

tuesday

2011-08-23T18:05:00.000-05:00

Dad put a bag of books from him and mom between my front doors today.
It included
1. Stephen King.......Liseys Story
2. Michael Connelly.......The Scarecrow
3. Sophie Hannah.......The Dead Lie Down
4. Joyce Carol Oates.....My Sister, My Love

I'm looking forward to reading them!
I just finished reading John Grisham's, A Painted House........and really enjoyed it........Odie, I think you would like it.

in a nut shell

2011-08-22T20:42:00.000-05:00

in a nut shell:

found a house I love.........it's in foreclosure.......tracking down who owns it so I can buy it before it's auctioned.

right now, right this very minute.....I'm disappointed in doctors. They're not very bright some of the time considering all the time they've spent in school.

saw a guy in his town car in the lane next to me picking his nose. people shouldn't pick their nose in public.

went to Jimmy John's for the first time.
they have a great cucumber, tomato, lettuce, alfalfa sprouts, and a little avocado spread sandwich. very good!

Mr. Bojangles went to the vet today for vaccines. he's going to get neutered in a couple of weeks.

I Showed 2 in 2002.....that's what the t-shirt says

2011-08-15T20:48:00.000-05:00

I showed "2" in 2002 because I wanted to, kinda................it wasn't the T-shirt from the guys on the houseboat across the party cove that I wanted, though it was a bonus...........................I think I just wanted to be adventurous, feel free, and liberated! That's not what I ended up feeling though...........I think I ended up feeling like " I could have lived without doing that."

sunday

2011-08-14T18:17:00.000-05:00

I woke daughter this morning to see if she wanted to go to a movie and to lunch. We ended up going out for brunch, ditched the movie and went for a drive and then shopping. We talked a lot. I knew she had a lot of things to say with college starting soon, and boyfriend leaving town. But we really didn't talk much about all of that...... we looked at other places we might like to live. Even discussed the possibility of listing our house again.....&.......what we'd have to do to our house before we sold it...........we talked about her best friends new and first boyfriend.........and about her other best friends recent break up with her boyfriend................
We shopped a little.
She bought nail polish and some new foundation.
I bought lotion, blush, and nail clippers.
It was a nice few hours spent with daughter.

I lost 5 more pounds.
My goal is to lose 20. So far I've lost 18.
So I'm pretty happy. I hope my heart is too.

I made fried green tomatoes this evening.......topped them with Feta cheese, cause that's how the guy on TV made them. I only had one, but it was delicious.

And now I'm going to clean the inside of my car. I haven't cleaned it since I bought it. I like getting into a clean car in the morning. Don't you? It just feels good to me.

saturday

2011-08-13T08:33:00.000-05:00

Daughters boyfriend left town early this morning to start college life.
He was offered a full ride to four different schools..........in the end he chose Eastern Kentucky University.
Daughter spent last evening hanging out with him.
They said their good-byes.
Her heart is aching a little. But she's also looking forward to starting her new life..........give her a chance and she'll show off her college I.D., schedule, or parking pass even......
Her best friend Mariah, decided to stay here and take the scholarship to Northern Kentucky University rather than The University of Louisville. Daughter is thrilled.
Her other two best friends, "Page 83", and Shay, will be leaving for school in the next several days.
They haven't wasted a minute of their free time this summer. It's been non stop get togethers, and I'm sure a summer to remember.
I love them all, hope they stay safe, and that all their dreams come true.

good night

2011-08-05T19:22:00.000-05:00

I spent my day cleaning.
I'm wore out and ready for bed.
Mr. Bojangles knows it to........he's on
the floor next to the bed waiting for me to invite him up to the bed. He makes me smile. :O)

thursday

2011-08-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

I had planned on cooking a special dinner tomorrow for sons birthday. He stopped by today after work and we ended up (boyfriend, son, daughter, adn I) going out for dinner this evening instead. (Oldest son didn't go because he works evenings)
We went to one of sons favorite restaurants. The food was great &
It was a nice time. He loved the camera I got him.

After dinner, son and daughter went to the mall together. Boyfriend and I went to the grocery store.
Tomorrow I'll bake sons favorite cake(carrot cake) for his birthday and send it over to his condo for him and his brother to enjoy.

I love my new ~~Jaguar~~ Ford Fusion. The interior is leather. When you open the door the smell of leather hits you in the nose. I love that smell!
Daughter is enjoying my old ~~Jaguar~~ Sonata. It was my all time favorite car. The outside of it still looks practically brand new.................and since the interior is leather, it looks really good too. It runs good. Hopefully it will keep running for several more years.

I'm going to the ocean soon.
It will probably only be a 3 day trip, but I have to go. It's calling my name!

wed.

2011-08-03T22:18:00.000-05:00

I went shopping this afternoon with daughter and her best friend.
I needed to buy a present for sons birthday.
I got myself a Janice Joplin CD. It was marked down to five bucks. It's one of my favorite albums. I wanted the CD so I could listen to it in my car.
I got son a nice camera. He dropped his a few months back and it broke........he's always borrowing his sister's........I think he'll like it!

Daughter and I went to talk with daughters academic advisor last week. The advisor helped daughter pick her classes.......and then on the 9th we go back to get daughters official schedule, parking pass, student ID, and I forget the rest..........daughter is pleased with her school choice......and looking forward to starting her classes.
I'm happy for her.
When we got home I called my mom to fill her in on our day.
My mom criticised daughters school choice, and daughters choice of friends.
What I need to explain is that sisters relapse and subsequent overdose has opened old wounds for me. I wont speak for anyone else..............I also need to explain that feeling so fucking tired mentally and physically for the past however long it's been because your fucking body isn't working the way it should and even though you finally find the reason why and begin treatment...........and you are feeling significantly better, but you still don't have the stamina that you used to have.........and you skip a period and wonder if you're going through the change of life or are your skipping your period because your freaking thyroid is fucked up..........so your hormones are all over the board................................................and then you're just who you have become.............................so your mom criticises your daughter.............you let it go........but then you lay awake through the night thinking about what she said............and you take it personal..............and then all those old wounds add fuel to the cluster fuck of feelings that you are feeling................................................. mom calls the next day under the pretense of wanting to know about a medication...........and then apologizes for part of her criticisms the day prior....................................................and I'm conflicted in my head and heart whether or not I should say anything to her because she's my mom and i love her, and she has a bad heart.........on the other hand i want to say what i need to say so that it's said before she dies..........but i wonder should i just bite my tongue and let it be...........................................................................................................................................................I didn't bite my tongue.......I said what I needed to say, through tears of course, and then I said stuff that surprised even me.........but it was all true, and none of it meant to be hurtful...................mom was apologetic, caring, genuinely sorry.....and I detected a hint of sadness in her voice................. which left me feeling sad, remorseful, and wishing I had just let it go............................that was a week ago........................I've been extremely busy the past week........have been trying to just not think about things.................................and wishing I'd just stop having periods and go through the change of life already.........................

I've been working hard to keep my heart healthy, assuming that it is healthy. I see the cardiologist in August. My insurance denied the stress test, again. It would cost me 2200.00. I'm not spending that money unless the cardiologist says I absolutely have to, or finds a way to get my insurance to pay for it.
I put myself on a cardiac diet and have lost 14 pounds the past three weeks. I take a baby aspirin daily......and I threw away the salt shaker.
I lost the energy to exercise over a year ago................I love exercise. It makes me high. I feel up to it, kind of, but am going to wait to get the OK from the cardiologist.

I know I sound like an unhappy, bipolar, crazy lady.

But I'm not.
:O)

monday

2011-08-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

Text message from daughter:

Daughter: I just cleaned the car. I found your She Daisy CD. (I'm keeping it.) I was singing with them while I cleaned. I felt like you.

Me: LOL

Daughter: It was fun.

Me: It's fun being me!

Daughter: lol, well duh.

&......................................................................

My sister overdosed.
The only details I know is that her son found her unconscious. He got her to the hospital and at some point from there she went to a rehab. center to detox.
That's all I know.
I guess she's been home now for 8 days........I haven't talked to her, and I really don't want to. I haven't talked to mom and dad about it either. I don't want to..................and the sister who informed me, well I asked her a couple months ago not to tell me anymore about either of my two sisters who are using.
I love them. I wish the best for them.
But I don't know how to be, and don't want to be a part of their lives
while they are using.

Work is going good.
My BFF and I work together on the same unit.
I take half the unit, she takes the other half.
We get it done.........and support each other along the way.
It works.

I drive past the high school on my way home from work.
The football players are practicing when I go by.
I don't have to go to anymore games..............
It makes me a little sad.

Happy 5th B.D. My Furry little friend! I love you.

2011-07-23T20:06:00.000-05:00

sunday

2011-07-17T18:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my mom and dad's 56th wedding anniversary.
I think that's beautiful, and wonderful! Happy anniversary, mom and dad!

I'm cooking Jambalaya.
It's simmering as I type......... the house smells great.

We-Ping left a bird on the mat at the front door. I think it's a gift from her to us.
I thanked her, and asked her not to bring anymore.

I had my hair cut and my eye brows done today.
When you get your hair done it always seems to put a little extra pep in your walk.......at least it does for me.

wed

2011-07-13T19:25:00.000-05:00

I cleaned out my semi finished basement today. My driveway is filled with old crap jsut waiting on the garbage man or the guy in the old truck who cruises the neighborhood on garbage night looking for treasures, or crap to clean up and then sell.
I also cleaned out two basement closets and boxed stuff I didn't want to throw away.
I swept the cobwebs from the basement ceiling, and swept the floor.
There's still a lot of work to do down there but I made a good dent in it.

I got up early this morning and mowed the lawn before it got too hot outside.

All in all it was a productive day.

i like it

2011-07-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

I read the following on another bloggers blog. I love it. That's what I would have said in that blogs comment section if I could comment on that blog!

The ABC's of Genuine Happiness

Accept your reality

Be present. Be Bold.

Create something exciting.

Drink plenty of water. Dance

Exercise daily. Eat fresh foods

Feed your emotions. Face fear.

Go outside and observe nature. Give.

Hug often. Help others.

Ignite your passions.

Jump through your comfort zone.

Kiss passionately. Keep looking forward.

Laugh. Love. Learn to let go.

Meditate daily. Make goals

Never give up on what you want.

Own a pet. Observe beauty.

Pray, paint, play an instrument.

Quit a bad habit. Quite your mind.

Read. Relax. Reinvent yourself.

Smile. Sleep.

Take power naps. Talk Wisely

Unleash your strengths.

Vent. Visualize your dreams.

Walk. Write. Watch the sun set.

Xerox your smiling face.

Yell less. Yield to your thoughts.

Zap negativity

From Thehappyself.com

good song

2011-07-12T16:34:00.000-05:00

YouTube - ?Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (Ft. Jimmy Buffett)??

Doesn't this song lift your mood?

I like it.

monday

2011-07-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

I feel good. I think the Thyroid medicine is kicking in....I almost feel normal again.
I have more energy than I've had in well over a year.
Hopefully it's here to stay!

It's 98 degrees today. Mix the high temperature with high humidity and it feels like it's 105.

Yesterday there was a Gay Day Parade at Fountain Square in Cincinnati.
I wanted to go to honor my best friend who had passed away but I was still in the hospital.
Daughter and two of her friends went though..........it made me happy that they went and had a great time. They brought home bunches of colorful condoms. :O)
I thought a lot about my friend yesterday. I swear to you he was the funniest guy I've ever known. You couldn't help but love him. Thinking of him makes me smile.

We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles are doing well.
I have extra water bowls outside for them, and make them come in more often because of the heat.
The kitchen floor must be cool. That's where they go and sprawl out when they come inside.

Boyfriend took daughter and I out for dinner this evening.
Boyfriend had steak. Daughter hd salad. I had broiled shrimp and salad. It was pretty good, and we had a nice time.

sunday

2011-07-10T23:52:00.000-05:00

I was admitted to the hospital via the ER Saturday.
I woke feeling like I had something the size of a plum stuck in my throat. That combined with the recent abnormal EKG, and the heaviness I was feeling in my arms, scared me. SO I went........and since my EKG was still abnormal they admitted me.
After all was said and done, the cardiologist thinks the whole throat thing is gastric reflux. He thinks the heaviness in my arms is caused by anxiety...................and the abnormal EKG, though concerning, is not life threatening.
I follow up with the cardiologist I met in the hospital one day this week for the stress test that my insurance denied. He said he'd take care of the insurance company.
SO that's that.......

I bought a newer car this past Friday.
I've been looking for one for at least half a year,
I didn't really want to buy one but sis will need my old one to get to school this fall, and to get to work.
I wanted a newer used car with low miles, leather interior, sun roof, and in my price range. I'm cheap though.........I was beginning to believe that what I wanted, especially price wise, did not exist. Friday on a whim I stopped at the place son owrks & found a car that had everything I wanted except that it was a Ford. Son even said he was going to call me about that car but didn't because he knows I don't like Fords.
It was a compromise I could live with though.
It's a Ford Fusion. It's cute.
They gave me sons employee discount, and didn't charge me all those silly fees.
And I insisted that they knock two points off the interest rate offered to me. They agreed.
Over all I feel like I got a good deal. (don't rain on my parade, Billy!)

stuff

2011-07-07T23:17:00.001-05:00

My computer is fixed.
It had several viruses and other crap.
The computer guy fixed it. Boyfriend put better virus protection on it.........

Last night and today daughter and I moved her stuff to the big bedroom / her big brothers old bedroom.
We re stained the wood work around the windows and doors, threw away some furniture, packed away a lot of her high school stuff, exchanged stuff from one room to the other, and cleaned all the walls and windows.
We also shopped for new sheets and comforter set, a new lamp, and a cool Marilyn Monroe picture.
Now both upstairs bedrooms are clean, purged, and organized. It looks good. ( I know the paneling isn't very pretty. I don't have it in me to paint it, and I'm afraid of what I might find if I remove it.)

It was fun spending time with daughter.

happy 4th!

2011-07-04T21:06:00.000-05:00

I worked today.I get paid double time for my 12 hours of work. That makes me happy.

Daughter took all the Christmas decorations that I've been storing in the spare bedroom out of the spare bedroom and put them in the storage room by the basement. That makes me smile.

Boyfriend had steaks grilling when I got home from work. He even had an iced drink ready for me when I got home. It made me smile. :O)

Scott the maintenance man at my work is still asking me where his box of taffy is from my trip to Colorado even though he knows I didn't buy him any. He's also still making fun of me for serving hamburgers and hot dogs at daughters graduation party instead of something more expensive.
He cracks me up.

WHen I got home from work Mr. Bojangles was waiting on the side porch for me. WePing was waiting on the front porch. They always make me smile.

saturday

2011-07-02T22:00:00.000-05:00

It's my weekend off of work.
I got up early this morning for an hour or two and then went back to bed.
I slept until 7 p.m. I wish I was normal again.......
Now I'm having a soft drink and pickles.
I've been craving pickles for a few months.
I eat a few jars of them a week. Weird huh?

I've been following the Casey Anthony murder trial.
I think she's guilty of pre meditated murder. She did searches on her computer for how to make chloroform. She's the last person to be seen with her daughter. Her car trunk smelled like human decomposition and the carpeting in the trunk had fatty acids consistent with those found during the decomposition of a human body. Also found in the trunk were larvae that feast on rotting flesh. Chloroform was found in the trunk. There was a hair from her daughters head in her trunk that had a death band. She did not report her daughter missing and only told her mother the daughter was missing 31 days later and that was only after her mother called the police to try to get answers on where her grand daughter might be. After the police were notified that Casey's daughter was missing, Casey lied to them about the circumstances surrounding the disappearance of her daughter. When the skeletal remains of the child were found, the skull had masking tape covering where there once was a nose and a mouth. The young girls remains were found very near the home where she and her mother lived with the grandparents.........
I think she's guilty.
I don't think the jury will find her guilty of pre meditated murder.
I predict a hung jury.

My computer isn't working.
As soon as I log on, my computer freezes.
I've done everything I know to do to fix it.

tuesday

2011-06-28T10:25:00.000-05:00

My doctors office called me this morning.
Something is wrong with my body. It makes me happy to be told something is wrong. It explains my joint pain. It explains why I lose my voice, literally, mid way through my work day. It explains the changes in the function of my GI tract. It explains why my usually shiny, curly hair has become dull, dry, and brittle. But most important to me, it explains the overwhelming I can't get off of the couch even though I've just slept 15 hours fatigue and depression like symptoms. So yeah, the doctors office called to tell me
It's my thyroid........it's not working. The little fucker quit on me. :O) So I will start medicine today. An inexpensive medicine that should eventually alleviate my symptoms. Hopefully my non functioning thyroid is also the cause of my abnormal EKG.
Either way, I am so relieved to have an explanation for all these crazy symptoms that made me feel like a couch clinging tired loser who struggles just to do routine, daily tasks.

friday

2011-06-24T20:24:00.000-05:00

Not much going on today.

I wrote some poems about sons and daughter..............it's just practice..........

Emily

my little pink tulip

so sweet and pure.

standing tall in the spring sunshine.

simple elegance.

unaware of your beauty

and the joy you bring to my heart.

Danny

bumble bee, bumble bee

a busy little bumble bee.

fly here and there for all to see.

up and down, and in between,

a playful little bumble bee.

furry, cute, smart as can be,

a lovable little, bitty bee.

oh can you see, I hope you see,

how much i love you,
my bumble bee.

Eric

fuzzy little caterpillar,

my first born love.

I hold you in my hand to keep you warm and safe,

until you grow the wings you'll need, so you can fly away.

oh why must little caterpillars grow those wings and fly,

the very thought, that very thought, oh how

it makes me cry.

then I watch you spread your wings as they begin to grow,

such a beautiful sight to see,

how was I to know?

then much to my surprise, one day you fly away.

I know you have your life to live,

I wish you could have stayed.

thursday

2011-06-23T10:05:00.000-05:00

Boyfriend and I are going to the movies today.
I'm not sure yet what movie we will see.
We're also going out to lunch.

I want to cut the grass but boyfriend won't let me.
He thinks my heart is a ticking time bomb, and is convinced my cutting the grass will kill me. I'm honestly not sure what I should and shouldn't do because I didn't ask. I was so shocled by what the doctor told me that the million questions I have did not come to mind until several hours after I had left his office.

I'm also going to buy some stretched canvas today for painting.
I've completed two paintings for sons condo, but need to complete two more
for a four piece set......................and I want to do a large painting of the Colorado mountains and foothills.

While in Colorado we were in the neighborhood where JonBonet Ramsey lived.
The house is for sale for 2 million dollars I think.
In Kentucky it would be worth about 180,000-500,000 depending on the neighborhood.. I was surprised at how close it sits to the house on it's right.......near the window where it's speculated an intruder entered.......and the backyard backs up to the backyard of the house one street over.
I was also struck by how there didn't seem to be much off srteet parking. The street was kind of narrow with parking on both sides. And it's not a very long street......kinda short actually. If there was an intruder, my guess is that it's someone who lived on the street the Ramseys lived, or very close by.......they were aware of the comings and goings that evening of the Ramseys and their neighbors.............probably entered the Ramseys home while the Ramseys were gone......... (just call me Detective Jane)..............

i think i'm dying........again.

2011-06-22T19:31:00.000-05:00

went to the doctor today for a routine check up. i haven't been sick. i have felt tired ever since i had a bad respiratory infection over a year ago. i know it sounds silly. but since then i just haven't had the energy I'm used to having. I'd been thinking maybe it was a lingering symptom of depression, even though i really don't feel depressed, and I'm not sure i ever really was..........so anyway, it was just an annual check up today.........what they found was
my EKG was a mess. a cardiac problem COULD explain the fatigue I've been living with. now i have to have a stress test and an echo cardiogram. hopefully whatever is wrong with my heart, if anything, is an easy fix. to say I'm afraid is an understatement!
i was also told that
my urine was full of blood, and my left ear full of fluid. wtf?! so he wants me to drop off another urine specimen in the morning.......................and he gave me a steroid nasal spray to help with the fluid in my ear.
i wish i hadn't gone to the doctor today.

Sunday

2011-06-19T20:15:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day.
I spent part of the day with my mom and dad, and then
cooked a special supper for boyfriend. Daughter and one of her
girlfriends joined us.
It was a nice day.

I'm going to spend the evening on the couch with Mr. Bojangles watching movies.

My best work friend texted me to fill me in on unfolding drama at work.
This is my vacation.
I honestly don't care much about what's going on there........I put my cell phone in the car and I'm leaving it there until my vacation is over.

An X love emailed me asking that I call him so he could tell me something.......I told him I'd call him when I got back from my trip to Colorado..........then I got back, and really didn't want to call him................I asked that he fill me in via email..................so after he pouted, tried to make me feel guilty, and did his manipulative routine (which repulsed me but did nothing to sway me to call him) over me not calling, he filled me in via email....................
I'm not the person I used to be......................................he doesn't know me ..........all of our conversations revolve around him and his life..........he knows zero about what's gone on in my life the past 3 or 4 years. We were together once.......................we're not anymore...............I don't even like the person that he is......
I don't want talk to him by phone, via emails or IM's.
Does that make me a bad person?

Colorado

2011-06-17T10:10:00.000-05:00

Boyfriend and I spent the last week in Colorado.
I think I met every living member of his family, ate every Mexican dish known to man, and had a pretty good time.

The mountains are beautiful. The old mining towns are pretty cool, and there are tons of outdoor activities. But Colorado is a giant cluster fuck of high ways, under passes, over passes, traffic, construction, and people.
I would hate to live there........I'm so happy to be home.

Graduation

2011-06-05T09:35:00.001-05:00

The woman who gave the commencement address was a past graduate of our school.
Back in her day as a high school senior, she was ranked the number one female basketball player in Kentucky. Her jersey was retired at the university she attended, and she was voted to be one of the 50 most significant Kentucky sports figures of the century. She's a 2 time graduate from the university she attended, graduating magna cum laude.
She graduated 4 years ahead of me. I looked forward to hearing her speak.

Her speech was good.
She didn't censor herself...........even talked about God.
It was refreshing.
She knew these students in the sense that she grew up where they have and with very little money just as most of these students. She faced the same prejudices, and she understands
their particular circumstances in general.........
At one point she said "I'd do anything to be sitting where you are today. I'd go back in a second if I could. I'm serious, I'd do anything to be able to go back........except give up my house, my car, and my bank account!" lol.

The whole ceremony was touching.
I didn't cry until daughter, boyfriend, and I walked out the front door to go to the graduation. :O) and then so did daughter!
I was so proud, excited, sad, relieved, and happy.

Yesterday we had a graduation party for daughter.
All of my family was here............and many, many, many, of daughters friends.
We grilled, played corn hole, sat around tables laughing and talking with each other..........it was a wonderful day and evening.

Mr. Bojangles

2011-06-05T08:03:00.000-05:00

To Odie

2011-06-01T21:01:00.001-05:00

Hi Odie!
I tried numerous times without success to comment on your blog.
I hope Linda is doing well.........and that you continue to take care of yourself so that you can continue to help her through her recovery.
Pat Rocky on the head for me. :O)

just because i love it. (3 of 3)

2011-05-29T21:45:00.001-05:00

Last Breakfast (2 of 3)

2011-05-29T21:37:00.002-05:00

Last school function (Senior Class Breakfast) together other than graduation ceremony practice.

page 83 (1 of 3)

2011-05-29T21:34:00.002-05:00

So a couple of years ago while looking with daughter at her new year book, I commented on one of the guys in her class. I told daughter I thought he was cute. Especially the picture of him on page 83. Daughter was on the phone talking to this guy and she told him "mom thinks your picture in the yearbook is cute." The guy was in the yearbook on several different pages. He said to daughter "is your mom talking about the picture on page 83?"
I thought it was hysterical that he knew the page numbers of where he was pictured. So since that day, I refer to him as "Page 83." His real name is Travis. He's a nice young man. He likes when I run in to him and call him Page 83.

Pictured above is what daughter did to his car (senior week prank), what he did to daughters truck, and a picture of Page 83 with daughter.

friday

2011-05-27T10:28:00.000-05:00

I shopped yesterday for some new clothes to take with me on our trip to Colorado. I'm so looking forward to our trip, to time off of work, and to meeting boyfriends family.

I finished the work yesterday on daughter graduation gift. It turned out nice and I think she'll love it.

Next week will be filled with house cleaning, yard work, and cooking for daughters graduation party scheduled for next Saturday..........and we'll attend her graduation next Friday evening.

Daughters week has been filled with Senior class activities. It's an exciting time for her and her classmates. She comes home to bathe, dress, and some of the time she eats.................and then at the end of the day, she sits with me and fills me in on the days activities.
I'm glad she's having fun!

monday

2011-05-23T04:43:00.000-05:00

I took the day off from work. I'm a little sick but will be fine in a day or two.

I had a productive weekend.
I mowed the lawn, planted some oriental grass and some more flowers, stained the deck floor, trimmed some hedges and cleaned my car windows and trunk.
It feels good to be done with it.

Today is officially daughters last day of school. The rest of the week is filled with fun Senior Week events and Graduation ceremony practice. She's looking forward to the weeks activities and to closing this chapter of her life.

wed

2011-05-18T15:56:00.003-05:00

Baby Zuri born at the Cincinnati zoo. She's so cute!

The principal of the school daughter attends was terminated today.
I feel vindicated. I haven't had the opportunity yet to talk to daughter about what she's feeling.
Enough said though........:O)..........except that I bought a cake today so that we can celebrate this evening with daughter.

I framed a prom picture of daughter and put it between mom and dads front doors. I wasn't sure if they were home, and if so I worried they might be napping and didn't want to wake them. So I stuck the picture between the doors.
Mom called after she found the picture. The phone call was touching. Moms voice was filled with emotion, her voice breaking as she expressed her love for daughter and how beautiful she thought the picture was..........made my eyes water and my heart smile and ache all at once.

tuesday

2011-05-17T00:57:00.000-05:00

I usually like my time alone. Tonight I wish I had company.
I argued with boyfriend this week. I argued with daughter too.
I don't handle conflict well. It's my nature to be peace keeper.
I don't think the conflict with boyfriend and daughter is the reason behind my not wanting to be alone though.
I've had fleeting thoughts this week, and last week of wanting to run away.
It's not something I'd ever really do.......( if I disappear from a mall parking lot, or while walking to my car in the morning, it means I've been abducted.)
So why my discontent?
I'm worrying I haven't lived my life to the fullest............and maybe I've let my fears and insecurities dictate the way I've lived my life.
I've wasted time.
I don't know where to go from here.......and I don't know what any of this has to do with me not wanting to be alone right now............

Last Dance

2011-05-13T19:29:00.000-05:00

Daughters Senior Prom is tonight. The" Meech" promised me he'd drive the speed limit, and that he would not be drinking. Not that I had any reason to believe he would be.

The prom ends at 11:30 p.m. and then the kids run home to change and go to the school gym for after prom. They'll be on lock down until 4. a.m. After prom events are kept secret.......but it's always a big to do.
I hope the prom is wild, fun, and romantic...........and I hope that daughter enjoys every minute of it. (i love her. it's her last school dance ever. it's bitter sweet watching them grow up. she looked beautiful tonight!)

Mr. Bojangles

2011-05-06T20:18:00.000-05:00

Today is Mr. Bojamgles first birthday. We got him some beef jerky.

Happy birthday my soft, furry, sweet friend! I love you.

wed.

2011-05-04T21:38:00.000-05:00

So the woman who called daughter a fucking cry baby bitch last year sent daughter to in school detention today because daughters jeans had slits on the front of the legs. She's worn those jeans at least every other week this whole school year without anything ever being said to her.. ....Other girls wear the same type jeans. Woman said to daughter "YOU turned me in. Now I'M turning YOU in!"
So daughter went to the in school detention room. The teacher in the in school detention class is my cousin and an old high school friend. He laughed when daughter told him why she was sent to him. He thought it was silly and sent her to the English class that she can't afford to miss. Woman found out he'd sent her back to her class, raised hell with him and insisted that daughter serve the ISD. He went back to daughters class, had a laugh with the English teacher, and took her back to detention. I don't see the humor in the whole situation.
I worry about further retaliation from this woman. I worry daughter will be pushed to the point where she will say something that will prevent her from participating in the graduation ceremony. I worry, and I'm sick of it.

We don't need to be shown the pictures of Bin Ladens dead body. We don't need to be celebrating in the streets his death. It's barbaric.

A couple weeks ago one of my coworkers patients told me I have no idea what a difference I make in her life. She said I make her feel like she matters. She does matter.
Another of my patients told me I make her feel safe. :O)

sunday

2011-05-01T23:25:00.000-05:00

A coworkers son was murdered a week ago. Coworkers first name is the same as mine. I get to work yesterday and one of the night shift workers wraps her arms around me and tells me how sorry she is for my loss. I kinda pushed her away............pushed away the very thought........
It freaked me out a bit.
And then she was happy that my son was alive and well.......and then back to feeling pain and sorrow for our coworker whose son is gone.

Daughter showed up at my work yesterday. I heard my work friend say "there's Em!" I looked up to see daughter walking toward my desk. The last time she was at my work was 11 years ago when I brought her to work with me on "Bring your daughter to work day." But there she was with one of her girlfriends and a couple dozen pink tulips she brought to give to me.
I was happy to see her! She looked happy and HAPPY! and she had a little mischievous twinkle in her eye.................anyway......I loved having her show up unexpectedly.

My legs are aching.
Mr. Bojangles is lying on them.
His body heat makes them feel better. :O)

my baby

2011-04-29T20:58:00.000-05:00

friday

2011-04-29T19:04:00.001-05:00

I got up early to watch the royal wedding.
It was pretty.
I think Kate's sister looked beautiful. Fergies daughters may have been "sticking it to them" for not inviting their mother. How else do you explain their choice in hats?
I loved the queens yellow coat and hat.
Kate and William looked genuinely happy. So congrats to them!

Boyfriend and I went shopping yesterday.
I bought a headband for daughter to wear to the prom.
It's very pretty. I also bought a few more things for her graduation party. (I can't wait!)

I was talking on the phone to my dad today.
He asked if sister is using drugs.
He already knows the answer.
I think he just keeps hoping for a different one.

I met oldest sons girlfriend for the first time this past Easter/and oldest sons birthday.
I liked her a lot.

same old

2011-04-28T00:25:00.000-05:00

I slept most of the day. My head hurt and I didn't want to go to the store for Advil, so I tried to sleep the headache away.

My new dilemma at work is I feel like everything I say will be taken out of context or misconstrued. I feel insecure, worried, and guarded while at work. It's miserable.

Tonight I paid bills, balanced my check book, organized daughters resumes, community work papers, and transcripts......and I cleaned out my purse.
Right now Clean House is on the TV. I can't believe the filth, and piles of crap/clutter that people will live in.............I feel sorry for the children that grow up in the messes they show on this show.

Boyfriend and I are have plans to leave early in the morning. I'm not sure where we're going or how we will spend our day. We just know we want to get out for awhile. I'm looking forward to morning.

Daughter and I hung out this evening.
Mr. Bojangles doesn't like her. He hisses at her. She hisses at him. It's funny.

spring day

2011-04-18T18:31:00.001-05:00

When I got home from work last night boyfriend, sons, and daughter were here waiting to celebrate my birthday with me.
We had a nice but short sweet time together.
Daughter baked a birthday cake for me. So now I know she can make mashed potatoes, bake a turkey, and bake a cake. :O)
Sons and boyfriend bought me an Android. It's kind of cool. I haven't taken much time yet to really check it out!

This morning I went to the DMV to pay property tax on my car, and to re-new my car tags..........and then.....

I worked in the yard today. I did everything that I should have done last spring or summer but didn't do because I was in a funk like depression like type of place.
It feels good to not be in that "place" anymore for the most part....
It felt good to be productive. But now I'm filthy dirty and too tired to shower. :O) It was beautiful outside in Ky. today. So it was great spending the day in the sun.

I took a couple pictures of We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles, of a dandelion (because when I was a child I'd pick them and blow the white fluffy stuff off of them.), and of some crates I'm going to use as tables on the deck. I'm not finished painting them.....almost though....Tiki Man has seen his last days I think!

friday

2011-04-15T08:18:00.000-05:00

Boyfriend bought a new car yesterday.
It's pretty. The On Star is kind of cool.
He's happy with his purchase.
I'm happy for him.

My car is ticking. "tick, tick, tick, tick."
Son says i don't have the right size oil filter on it.
I hope it's really that simple.

I plan on spending most of today outside.
It's supposed to be beautiful weather.
I need to cut my grass and paint some crates son brought me from his work. I plan to use them on the deck as tables. We'll see how they work.

There's an under class man at daughters school whose mother died last year. The girl now lives with a family member who is blind.
This girl plays on the softball team.
No one from her family comes to watch her play.
So daughter does.........the girl scans the stands to check for Ms. Em.......and is thrilled when she sees her. Daughter cheers her on, and pats her on the back.......
I think it's sweet.....makes me proud.

thursday

2011-04-14T07:55:00.000-05:00

My taxes are filed! YAY! It's a huge weight off my shoulders.

So daughter was telling me how at the prom the last dance is for seniors only. The whole senior class wraps their arms around each other & have a last slow dance together. I got all teary eyed when she was telling me about the way they do the last dance......and then she started crying. lol......and then we laughed at each other for crying.

Middle son took daughter rock climbing while daughter was on spring break. Son said she kicked butt.....including his.
She's always been fearless when it comes to climbing.

I'm planning a graduation party for daughter. I want it to be a huge celebration full of music, food, friends, family, and laughter. I love planning parties.

Boyfriend asked me not to stay up late last night because he wanted to leave early this morning to go car shopping. I stayed up late like I almost always do on my days off of work...............but I got up early so I'd be ready to go................he's still sleeping. :O)

Oldest son was over the other day to say hi. But he also wanted to tell me about the girl he's dating. He doesn't usually share his love life with me.....even though I ask...(can't help myself)......him and his brother are single young guys who enjoy their freedom...................now there's this girl.............I could tell the way he was talking that he's smitten with her.
It was sweet the way he went on about her pretty blue eyes.

wed.

2011-04-13T11:23:00.000-05:00

I was a grouch when I got home from work last night.
Daughter was dozing on the couch. She had a few pair of shoes and a purse on the living room floor. She also had a plate and two cups on the coffee table and sunflower seed shells on the coffee table. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but like I said I was a grouch. I woke her and raised my voice about her mess. I even slammed shut a couple kitchen cabinets . But what I was really feeling was guilt that she had supper alone in front of the t.v. I didn't care about the mess. Messes can be cleaned. She got up and got in the shower. I apologized to her when she got out.......................we ended up hanging out together for a couple of hours. I had her cracking up laughing. It was good....

I need to file taxes today. As usual I've put it off until the last minute.

Daughter wants to move to her big brothers old bedroom, again. Last year we moved her and the next day she wanted to go back to her bedroom. So we moved her back.
Now she wants to do it again...........I guess we'll give it another try. It is a much bigger room.......she needs the space........she wants to paint it first........and so we will.

Work is going OK.
Yesterday one of the CNA'S was escorted out after being fired.
Even though she was one of the staff members that drove me crazy with
the drama she created, and I always crossed my fingers that she wouldn't be scheduled on my unit, it was upsetting to see her face after she'd been fired.....and to see her being escorted out of the building.
I felt sorry for her.

Friday

2011-04-08T23:09:00.001-05:00

Opening day has come and gone.. I love the Cincinnati Reds even though I haven't watched any of the first three games. I love baseball!

Our work day didn't start off so good..& Two hours into our work day we were irritable, a little agitated, and just feeling stressed. So..............................................................................................
We sang. I mean we grouped together and we SANG. I loved being told "you can really sing, girl!" I knew I was rocking it, lol.......we all felt better afterwards....

Pia was voted off American Idol. YAY!

I wish my sisters weren't addicted.
I hope they get well...

I woke up a couple of times last night and felt Mr. Bojangles next to me. I smiled and drifted back to sleep. I love him.

Mr. Bojangles

2011-04-06T19:00:00.000-05:00

He's not happy about the neighbor cat taking a short cut through our backyard.

this n that

2011-04-06T10:15:00.000-05:00

Daughter and I went to the Hobby Lobby yesterday to find a football shaped cake pan.
While there I found some decorations for her graduation party. Thinking about it (daughters graduation) let alone trying to talk about it to daughter makes me all weepy eyed. I wonder if it's normal to be so emotional about an event. I"m excited about it too....... But when she starts talking about it the both of us become emotional/ tearful. It's crazy!

We're going to Colorado soon.
I'll fly if I have to, but right now we're leaning towards taking Amtrak.

Daughters hair continued to fall out, and it was fuzzy from having been burnt.
She finally just had it all cut off.
I think it looks cute.

I dream of winning the lottery so that my time will be my own.
I don't want to wait until I'm old.

nothing much going on...

2011-03-30T10:13:00.002-05:00

Juat completed my long stretch of 12 hour shifts. Now I'm off for 3 days. So it was worth it.
Work was crazy busy yesterday.
I hate when it's like that.....I go home worrying that maybe I forgot to do something. Then I try to just let it go and figure I'll deal with it when I get back to work.

Daughter and I have been spending lots of time together. It's been fun, and nice.
All of her best friends will be leaving town in a few months on scholarships. Her best friend is going to the University of Louisville, and her boyfriend will be going to Union College in Barberville Kentucky.
She can drive down to see them.......and they will be coming home for visits. Still she's already feeling emotional about them leaving. I think it's why she's been clinging a little to me.

She finally found the perfect prom dress. The shop she bought it in has a strict no return policy. So prom dress shopping is officially over.
It's a pretty princess like dress. Different then all the homecoming and prom dresses she's worn.........

I'm tired from the long shifts.
Today I'm going to finish the book I'm reading, go to the bank, and maybe go to the grocery.................nothing much more planned for the day.

tuesday

2011-03-23T00:46:00.000-05:00

I had a wondeful evening and night Monday night.
Daughter and I hung out together on the deck. We talked about school after high school, drinking alcohol, love, prom, family, friends, boyfriends, after prom, pre prom........she's an open book with me. Some of the time I think" OMG I don't want to hear this"...........on the other hand I'm happy she feels like she can talk to me............and doesn't feel the need to keep her life a secret.
We sat together under the stars and had dinner..........we laughed, joked, and connected in a good way.
I feel lucky.

And then tonight me, boyfriend, and daughter went to daughters sports banquet.
My last sports banquet as a mom.
It was fun.
I almost always enjoy seeing daughters friends......and watching them be the crazy, wild, smart, funny, playful teenagers that they are...........
Daughter received a special award from the cheerleading squad.......she was chosen as "the best friend to have"............it was sweet.

I used to pray to God to let me live until my children were adults.
Now I want to amend that prayer.
I'd like more time please.

I paid bills today, and balanced my checkbook.
I ordered daughters yearbook.
Her cap and gown have already been ordered.

Boyfriend is out of pain.
He's checking out surgeons and hospitals.

Both sons called me while I was at the sports banquet.
I couldn't answer the phone but called them later.
Middle son wanted me to pick up a paper shredder for him if I was going to be at Walmart anytime soon........................oldest son just wanted to say hello.

did i jinx myself, asks the irish girl.....

2011-03-21T17:54:00.000-05:00

so an hour before boyfriends doctor appointment, boyfriend asked me to take him to the emergency room. his pain had become unbearable.
when all was said and done, it boils down to having to have his gallbladder removed. we will call the surgeon tomorrow.
it's funny how just a couple of days ago i was secretly counting my blessings, and feeling thankful that i made it, even though it was with some difficulty, but still, i made it through last year. i was afraid that if i said it out loud i'd jinx myself.
maybe just thinking those things jinxed me.
I know it's not brain surgery. I know it's not heart surgery.
but i'm scared for boyfriend........

daughters pink eye medicine was eighty bucks. i asked if they sent it through to her insurance. of course they did. without the insurance it would have been one hundred and twenty bucks.
i asked them to call her doctor and get a more reasonable medicine ordered. something for around twenty dollars or less. i mean come on......it's pink eye. the pharmacist agreed. so i'm waiting to hear from them.....

daughter is napping. boyfriend is napping. we-ping, mr. bojangles, and i are on the deck.
i have the kitchen screen door propped open so the kitties can go in and out as they please. we-ping doesn't like to be away from her food bowl for too long.

and now i'm going to read some of that book i've been reading while on my lunch at work. it's good. i want to really get in to it though...........the way i can't while at work.

monday

2011-03-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

I'm off work for the next three days. Yay!

Daughter has pink eye.
I'm hoping school doesn't send her home. She struggles to catch up.
I've called her doctor and I'm hoping that since she was just seen last week he will call
in a prescription without having to see her again.

Daughter's report card from this past quarter was great. She brought up all her grades again.
One more time of the same thing and she'll be our newest little graduate.

Boyfriend is in misery. He's having severe abdominal pain and has been for 3 days.
I've tried talking him in to going to the hospital. He won't go, but he does have
a doctors appointment for today. We'll see.....

The doctor just called and is going to call in a prescription for daughter for her eyes. So Yay!

I have a few errands to run today, maybe go to the doctor with boyfriend, and then I'm going to finish reading my latest Koontz book.

spd

2011-03-17T23:07:00.000-05:00

I took daughter to the doctor today.
She was a little embarrassed because she's still a patient at the pediatric group.
I need to have her file transferred to a doctor for adults. It's just not something i think of until she's sick.
Anyway, they checked her for the flu and for strep. Both tests were negative. So she just has a cold that will have to run its course.

Daughter and I shopped a little on-line for a dress for graduation. So far this is our favorite. I don't know if you can see it. It's cute, casual, and not expensive. We found some great looking shoes to go with it!

I've been car shopping for a couple of months.
The bottom line is that I hate spending money for a car.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Happy Saint Patrick's Day
May your troubles be less

And your blessings be more

And nothing but happiness

Come through your door.

more of the same

2011-03-16T10:36:00.000-05:00

Sister bear stayed home from school today.
She's down and out with a sore throat and cold.
She seldom misses. It causes her too much anxiety about catching up.
So I know she must feel pretty bad. Poor Boo!

Yesterday was my ex best friends birthdays. We grew up together, the three of us, and were friends until 7 or 8 years ago. So I thought about them yesterday, just as I do from time to time.
When I watch Teen Mom there's a boyfriend to one of the teen moms on the how. His name is Keefer. Every time I see him I know that if my ex friend Lisa is watching, she'd be cracking up. I almost picked up the phone the other day to call her just to see if she was watching him.
Friends are great. But having friends that really know you, and where you've come from because they've come from there with you, is like the greatest.
I don't miss them per se. I miss that kind of friendship though..........

Boyfriend is running errands. When he gets here he's going to help me clean. That's the big plan for today.......deep clean this house, and organize the spare bedroom.

saturday

2011-03-12T09:24:00.000-05:00

Daughter wants to get a tattoo.
She's 18 so I can't stop her. I have been trying to talk her out of it.
They're so permanent. Although I hear you can have them removed with laser surgery, but still.
The belly button ring was one thing,,,,,,now a tattoo? Yuck.

Work is going well.
I still like my new assignment, and most of the new staff I work with.
It's a better fit.....all of it.

Daughter wants to take a senior class trip.
I was finally honest with her and told her it's not in the budget.
I wanted so badly to give it to her, but I can't. Too many other financial obligations with her continuing education.
I felt relieved to finally just tell her no.

I texted son the other night asking him if he wanted me to clean his condo the next day while he was at work. He texted back saying "that would be great!" So I texted him back "psych!" He texted back "you suck. lol!" lol. Cracked me up.

AI

2011-03-09T20:35:00.000-05:00

so far my favorites are
Casey
Paul
Lauren

singing in the rain, kinda.

2011-03-09T09:44:00.003-05:00

Not much going on today.
I just did last nights supper dishes.
Boyfriend is picking me up after his doctors appointment and we're going to stop over to see my mom and dad.
They've been out of town for a month, are home now, and I'm anxious to hear about their trip.
And then we're going to run a couple of errands together.

Daughter is losing her hair by the handfuls. She bought a crimper, has been using it at 500 degrees, and severely damaged her hair. It's literally falling out.
I smothered it in mayonnaise a few days ago hoping to salvage some of it, but the outcome looks grim.
The good news is it will grow back.
That's little consolation for a teen girl.

I read a book once where the mother and teen daughter were going through a trying time........at one point the mother took the daughter outside, during a down pour of rain. Mother had the daughter close her eyes, turn her head up to the sky, extend her arms and feel the rain. In the book it was a beautiful, spiritual moment.
So last night while daughter and I were on the couch bantering, playing, etc......I asked daughter to go outside with me to stand in the rain. She rejected my idea. I was laughing, she was laughing..........I told her playfully that if I died next week she would forever on any rainy day regret not having gone outside to play in the rain with me.
She was playfully pissed at me for forcing her outside, but she went. It was cold though so we took an afghan. We wrapped ourselves in the afghan, and huddled together for warmth...........and then stood there in the rain. There was no spiritual event. Just giggling, and joking.

Boyfriends here........gotta run. More later.

Daughter and I are in the habit of watching together a tv show called Teen Mom.
It follows teen girls through their pregnancy and then the first year after giving birth.
It shows the struggles they go through with their boyfriends, family, trying to juggle work, continuing education etc...it's an interesting show, though kind of depressing. Leaves me wishing I could help those girls.

I hope Charlie Sheen gets help before he physically hurts someone, or kills himself.

blog people

2011-03-07T09:37:00.003-05:00

While driving home from work last night I was lost in thought about some of the people who write some of the blogs that i read. Including........
Billy's. Billy is a mystery to me.
He objectifies women, except maybe for Helen, and he mocks people who believe in God. He's articulate, funny, highly intelligent, and movie star handsome. He's off the hook though...... And just when I think I can't stand his extreme beliefs, and maybe even him, he tells a heart warming story about the dog he loved and then lost, or he leaves a comment on another persons blog showing concern for that person.........and he takes care of Helen the way a son would his mother.....revealing a very caring person capable of more than just anger and hate...........though anger and hate probably aren't the correct words to describe him............................................................so I was lost in thought trying to figure him out. Wondering about all of his life....his past life......wanting to know where he's coming from....what makes him tick....
And then there's Odie.....exact opposite of Billy when it comes to his attitude towards women and religion.................respects women.......and others.........believes without question in God.............caring, sweet, positive, cute.......always there with a kind word.
Some of the time, but not so much now as back when, I used to wonder whether or not he was really all that he presented........"Can a person really be that good" is what I thought. I'd conclude that he must be a pedophile or some sort of online predator. But I stuck around because I intuitively knew, even though I questioned it, that he was the real deal.....and maybe I'd learn something from him..........
And then there's the Professor.
He suffers all the time it seems.
I think he's grown comfortable being miserable and is not willing to move from his comfort zone......................or maybe, just maybe.....he creates all his pain and suffering because without that to talk about, he'd have nothing to say. He'd rather be a suffering soul than an ordinary man.
So yeah.......I was driving down the interstate last night thinking about the blog people, wishing I knew more about Billy, wishing I had Odie's faith, wishing the Professor would be happy already.....when the dark night in front of me lit up. Fireworks right there......beautiful purple, blue, silver lights shooting up to the sky.........it was so pretty, and unexpected....... I smiled and said "yay!"......and then further up the interstate the cops standing with some guy and his truck. I'm thinking he's probably drunk, and setting off fireworks right there on 71.
Thanks drunk guy.
It was a nice show!

friday

2011-03-04T19:40:00.000-05:00

It's raining and I like it.

I bought an electronic keyboard today. I've spent the later part of this afternoon playing music. I'm not much better at playing music than I am at painting a picture.......but I get joy from doing both.

toga?

2011-02-27T10:29:00.000-05:00

I love this accidental picture I took of daughter. The one in the red dress.
She doesn't get why I love it.. So I showed it to boyfriend. He doesn't see it either.
Maybe cause I'm her mom, but I think it's a beautiful shot, the dress not so much.

The gold dress was pretty on the hanger. It looked like Christmas wrap, or a gold colored toga when it was on her. Her facial expression says it all.......... She couldn't take it off fast enough.

We didn't find THE dress.
We will eventually.

I bought an ice cream cake yesterday for boyfriend for his birthday. We're celebrating today. I hid the cake in my trunk thinking it was cold enough to keep there until today.
I had a pile of mess in my trunk this morning. :O)

on prom dress shopping and patience

2011-02-26T13:42:00.001-05:00

I'm going prom dress shopping with daughter.
We will visit every store, and try on every dress............because that's how she does it.
..................and then we will narrow it down to a couple shops, go back to those places and start the process over again. She'll pick the perfect dress. We'll buy it...............she'll try it on at home a few times, decide it's the wrong dress, and return it. She'll say forget it. I'm not going to the prom. Then we'll go shopping one more time.......and she'll probably choose the very first dress she tried on, on the very first day we went prom dress shopping.
Wish me luck!
Have a nice day. :O)