tHE Last of mY sUMMER fLOWERs

 

Death of A Car

My son called me at work yesterday. "Mom, I have really bad news." I hate hearing those words! It scares me. I brace myself AND start a mental list of what may have happened. "mom, I wrecked my car." and then "it's gone, mom. it's gone." (his beloved car is dead) I'm rejoicing in my head that he is alive and not physically harmed, his brother and sister are alive....my parents are alive....my boyfriend is alive....my sisters and their families are alive....weping hasn't been run over.....the house didn't burn down.......the new plumbing didn't explode, no one is pregnant, no one is in jail .....
He bought the car with his hard earned money. He worked on it his senior year, in auto body.....fixed the dents, holes and rust....painted it himself....put on new mirrors....new dash, lights, tires, brakes,exhaust, stereo..........and to boot, he only had liability insurance. He is crushed.
I told him I would help him get a new car, or help him to get this one fixed. He says "No. I"ll rig this car and then work like a dog to get a newer, better car." (bless his heart)
It's times like this I wish I was rich, ya know?

Sugar and Spice

This is my daughter.
She's growing up and I'm having a difficult time letting go. I look at her and wonder "when did you stop being my little girl?" I catch glimpses of her every once in awhile, and it makes me happy and sad all at once. I miss my little girl. 

More WePing

 
Doesn't dhe look like a grump? 

WePing

  

Stuff

My sons friend called the other night to see how many pumpkins I want. Told him NONE! The next morning as I was leaving for work I counted 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13....that's right! 13 pumpkins placed about my front yard..one was already carved....cracked me up! (little fuckers!)

Today we went to the gambling boat in Indiana. Gambling is not usually my thing because i'm anal with my money same as I am with everything else.....but I thought what the hay, just go and have fun.....so being the big spender, I took 60 bucks...blew 40 of it, played the last 20....almost lost it, won it back, and then cashed out.....all in all, even though i lost $40, it was a good day!

My son's mid term grades are as follows....2 A's.....2 B's.....and 1 C.
He was written up at work for telling his boss to "grab this"....you can decide for youself what he was telling his boss to grab..............so his boss hands him the write up....my son reviews it, and then corrects his bosses spelling. Needless to say,he was fired. He walks that fine line.....I worry about him.

Cops

Another time, I was at the river and under the bridge with friends drinking a few beers. My friend Ron and I decided to leave.(I had a huge crush on him) I gave him the keys to my dads car cause I didn't want to drink and drive. As soon as Ron started the car, we see blue lights n the rear view mirror. The cops come to the car door, ask Ron to step out of the car. Ron gets belligerent, they cuff him, arrest him, and put him in the cruiser. They give me the keys and tell me to go home. So I'm driving to pick up some friends, and I see blue lights, again.I'm thinking it was a set up. He told me to go home so that he could arrest me for drinking and driving. I pull over and think "oh shit. my dads gonna kill me." The cop comes to my car door and he apologizes to me for having arrested my friend. I was thinking no way is this cop apologizing to me. But it's what he was doing......and I was like "it's OK. I understand." He said goodnight, and off he went...and off I went wondering WTF just happened?

The there was the time that my x husband, Donna, Cliff and I had just been to a school dance. We had a few beers and another 12 pack in the car. We decided to go to the house where supposedly the mafia lived and if you went up their driveway they'd shoot at you. Sounds like fun to me........so we're going up this long private driveway, waiting to be shot at, and we see blue lights. The cop gets out of his car and comes to the drivers window, asks us what we're doing. We tell him we're checking to see if the mafia lives here.......he puts his flashlight on the beer and asks if we've been drinking......Cliff responds by saying "DUH".....the cop instructs Cliff to step out of the car.....he does a sobriety test on him...tells him to extend his arms, close his eyes, and bring his index finger to his nose......Cliff brings his middle finger to his nose instead.......then Cliff looks in the car at us and starts laughing, says, "I just flipped him off".........I'm thinking "my dads gonna kill me"........but the cop looks at me and Donna and says "you look like nice girls. I'm going to let you go on home. no more drinking." So off we went,laughing our butts off, counting our change to see if we had any beer money.

One day, during after prom, my friend Lisa, mike, Ronnie and I had gone to this lake to picnic and party a little. We rented a paddle boat, went out on the lake, and decided to swim. The "NO SWIMMING" sign didn't really mean no swimming, did it? So we've been baking in the sun for several hours and think WTF/ Lets go swimming. Off the boat we jump. We're minding our own business, swimming, laughing......and we hear a mans voice magnified by a blow horn, or whatever you call it..."come to shore immediately!" We're looking around wondering who he's talking to.....this time his command is more insistent "come to shore immediately!" We finally understand that he is speaking to us. I'm thinking "shit. my dads gonna kill me." So we go to shore.........the cop, or park ranger, or whatever he was is near hysterics yelling at us. I don't remember exactly what he said. Something about body bags, and our moms crying. We were laughing but we managed to make it look like we were crying. I think he felt he had gotten through to us (must of been the crying) and he let us go.
We still laugh about it today....

One evening there's a knock on my front door. It's the cops. They tell me my sons, 11 and 15 at the time, may have shot the neighbors dog and garage door window with their BB guns.(the dog wasn't seriously injured) No way! They only have the BB guns out with my permission and supervision. I fiercely defend the boys.....The cop, a mean, nasty, hateful prick says he will be back to gather the BB guns. I call my dad and fill him in...........I don't know what he did or who he called, but about an hour later the cop came back to my house and apologized to me. Once again I'm thinking WTF?
My sons admitted to me this year, much to my surprise, that they had indeed been taking shots at the neighbors dog with their BB guns but "we did not shoot his garage door window out!"

Depressed

I'm depressed. I know all the reasons for my depression too......but when you're depressed, finding the energy to make changes is difficult.

I absolutely dread going to work tomorrow. I worked this weekend,and it was awful. It probably wouldnt be so bad if I wasn't such a control freak. But I am, and so I'm always trying to clean up messes, and fix things that have been broken. I need to just let those things go and just do my job. Let the powers that be worry about the other crap. It's what they get paid to do.

I've been on call since Friday. So sleeping through the night is out of the question. I'm thinking about telling my boss I no longer want to do the on call thing.......I like having the free cell phone and the financial bonus isn't so bad either....but I'm sick of the people calling me in the middle of the night. So we will see............and that's about it......that's my life.

Purging, Dreaming, Reflecting

I cleaned out my hall closet today.
I haven't touched it in atleast 4 years.
I found a journal I kept from when I was going through my divorce. I took a peek, even though I was apprehensive about doing so....There was sadness, confusion, and pain in my writings but what was also there, (and I must say it surprised me) was an over riding expression of hope.
Also in the closet was a little pair of black paten leather shoes that my daughter wore one year for Easter, and an itty bitty pair of snow boots from when she was maybe 4 or 5 years old. It made me smile to see these things. :O)
let's see.....I also found a couple rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, an old pair of draperies, a couple snow coats,a black leather jacket, gloves, and hats......4 or 5 old purses, plumbing fixtures, a Barbie suitcase, a pair of rollar blades, and a bunch of crumbled up papers.
I threw everything away(it feels so good to purge) except for the shoes, snow boots, barbie suitcase,plumbing fixtures, and my journal.
My living room is filled with boxes and bags of crap from my bedroom closet. I need to go through it all, throw stuff out, repack the important stuff, and put it in the hall closet. My bedroom closet will be empty except for clothes, shoes and hand bags.Yay!
My x-love from PA is moving to Arizona, Saturday. He interviewed for a job there on Tuesday, accepted the job, found an apartment, will move Saturday, and start the new job on Monday. I think it's neat that some people can just pick up and move....follow their hearts desire. If it was in me to just pick up and move, I'd move to the Keys. I'd live as simple a life as possible.......I might be happy in a little shack (so long as it was clean)if it was in the Keys, and I'd get a job at Fishermans Hosp. in billing or dietarty, or the gift shop....anything but nursing...
My x-husband the kids and I spent many summers in the Keys. Our Latin friends would come down to the Keys from Miami on the weekend to party....lots of great music, food, dancing, and people. I miss it, and it's where I'd want to live.