I gave up caffeinated soft drinks 3 weeks go.
I was drinking too much of the stuff. Now I'm off of it.......I allow myself to have hot tea though if I want it. But I usually only have about 3 hot teas a week.
I feel better that I'm not drinkng all that caffeine anymore.........and I don't miss it.
My mammogram was normal. So Yay!
I ordered daughters yearbook today.
I like yearbooks. It's a great way to document
a little bit of history.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
monday
SOme guy on tv just said "brown chicken, brown cow.
I don't know why but it reminded me of being in the car with boyfriend, daughter and daughters friend on our way to Tenn. for a vacation......................at some point traffic was backed up, and we were practically at a stand still.........we were bored...........daughters friend had a rap cd.......we put it on, and turned up the volumn.........then me and the girls put on our sunglasses........and as our car passed other cars at like 5 miles an hour we'd send gang signs out to the people in the cars we'd pass........and we'd do some upper body dancing....like we knew how........we even got boyfriend to throw out a few signs............you had to be there.........we cracked ourselves up.......:O)
I don't know why but it reminded me of being in the car with boyfriend, daughter and daughters friend on our way to Tenn. for a vacation......................at some point traffic was backed up, and we were practically at a stand still.........we were bored...........daughters friend had a rap cd.......we put it on, and turned up the volumn.........then me and the girls put on our sunglasses........and as our car passed other cars at like 5 miles an hour we'd send gang signs out to the people in the cars we'd pass........and we'd do some upper body dancing....like we knew how........we even got boyfriend to throw out a few signs............you had to be there.........we cracked ourselves up.......:O)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
sunday
The child support hearing for last week was canceled.
It was rescheduled.
I just want it over.
I'm not good at dealing with this type of stuff.
Daughter and I got up early yesterday and went to have our hair
washed, conditioned, cut/styled............and had our eyebrows waxed. She's been jogging 5 days a week trying to lose a little weight. She's feeling better about herself, and so I wanted to do something to help her feel even better.....and to pamper her a little for all her hard work. It was fun. :O)
After the beauty shop we went shopping.
We both got new purses, and sun glasses.........and then
Daughter bought a bikini.............. I bought some shirts and a couple bras.
After shopping we went out for lunch, and chit chatted.
It was a great spending time one on one with daughter. She's a pretty neat person.
I went to Lowes last week and ordered a new front door and new front storm door.
I've needed to replace the present one since the day I bought the house. It's painted over a hundred times, you need a butter knife to work the lock........the frame is loose......it's dented, and out and out ugly! Can't wait for it to go!
SO queer as it sounds, I'm excited about the new door..........and I'm anxious to get it installed.
Daughter and I had a meeting at her school lastweek with the guidance counselor, english teacher, and the coordinator of the special ed. program.
the meeting was to discuss whether or not to test daughter for learning disabilities.
I tired to have her tested at childrens hospital on my own. i was tired of dealing with the school, and jumping through their hoops to no avail. but the hospital no longer tests children over the age of 15. so once again i found myself at the schools mercy.
the meeting was horrible to say the least.
the guidance counselor was unprofessional, inappropriate, and down right cruel i think.
at one point she says to daughter "how will you feel if we test you and we find no learning disability? TELL ME HOW YOU WILL FEEL! you will feel like you must just be dumb. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY THEN IT MUST BE THAT YOU'RE DUMB! RIGHT?! and what if we do find a disability, emily? how will you feel then? YOU WILL BE LABELED DISABLEDFOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU WILL BE SENT TO THE SPECIAL ED. CLASSES WHeThER YOU WANT TO GO OR NOT. YOU WONT HAVE A CHOICE. YOU WILL GO! how will you feel about that?!"
Daughter burst in to tears.
We were also told that the reason they don't like to test children is because it "takes a lot of our time and it's not what we're about, not what we do."
So that was a part of what happened at the meeting.
and it was decided that we would have to jump through a few more hoops and then they'd revisit the possibility of testing daughter.
I however decided I would get a lawyer and force them to test her...................and I would file a complaint against the guidance counselor with the board of education.
I felt sad for my daughter. But we really talked after the meeting......and she was ok. She wasn't feeling defeated. (God bless her)
The morning after the meeting I get a call at work from the guidance counselor. She says to me "I felt bad that Emily was crying yesterday so I took her file home with me and REALLY looked at it. I've decided to proceed with testing. Emily is here in my office and she'd like to talk to you."What I heard her say was (I worried all night about my mean inappropriate behavior at the meeting. I'm afraid I might be in trouble. I'm going to test your daughter. Maybe that decision will passify you. Maybe you won't report me if I give you what you're asking for.)
SO daughter gets on the phone and the GC leaves her alone in the office to talk to me. daughter tells me the gc called her to her office to ask her what her mother thought of the meeting. emily tells her that we both thought she was rude, and inappropriate................and that she lied about emily having to be in the special ed classes if it's found that she has a learning disability.
While at the meeting I wanted to jump across the desk and choke the GC. But...............I was trying to keep my side of it clean. I was also planning in my head my day in court. I didn't want anyone to testify that I was being loud, disruptive or rude. I wanted to be credible...........i wake in the morning still playing over in my head the GC's behavior at the meeting..... i'm really not sure what to do.
It was rescheduled.
I just want it over.
I'm not good at dealing with this type of stuff.
Daughter and I got up early yesterday and went to have our hair
washed, conditioned, cut/styled............and had our eyebrows waxed. She's been jogging 5 days a week trying to lose a little weight. She's feeling better about herself, and so I wanted to do something to help her feel even better.....and to pamper her a little for all her hard work. It was fun. :O)
After the beauty shop we went shopping.
We both got new purses, and sun glasses.........and then
Daughter bought a bikini.............. I bought some shirts and a couple bras.
After shopping we went out for lunch, and chit chatted.
It was a great spending time one on one with daughter. She's a pretty neat person.
I went to Lowes last week and ordered a new front door and new front storm door.
I've needed to replace the present one since the day I bought the house. It's painted over a hundred times, you need a butter knife to work the lock........the frame is loose......it's dented, and out and out ugly! Can't wait for it to go!
SO queer as it sounds, I'm excited about the new door..........and I'm anxious to get it installed.
Daughter and I had a meeting at her school lastweek with the guidance counselor, english teacher, and the coordinator of the special ed. program.
the meeting was to discuss whether or not to test daughter for learning disabilities.
I tired to have her tested at childrens hospital on my own. i was tired of dealing with the school, and jumping through their hoops to no avail. but the hospital no longer tests children over the age of 15. so once again i found myself at the schools mercy.
the meeting was horrible to say the least.
the guidance counselor was unprofessional, inappropriate, and down right cruel i think.
at one point she says to daughter "how will you feel if we test you and we find no learning disability? TELL ME HOW YOU WILL FEEL! you will feel like you must just be dumb. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY THEN IT MUST BE THAT YOU'RE DUMB! RIGHT?! and what if we do find a disability, emily? how will you feel then? YOU WILL BE LABELED DISABLEDFOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU WILL BE SENT TO THE SPECIAL ED. CLASSES WHeThER YOU WANT TO GO OR NOT. YOU WONT HAVE A CHOICE. YOU WILL GO! how will you feel about that?!"
Daughter burst in to tears.
We were also told that the reason they don't like to test children is because it "takes a lot of our time and it's not what we're about, not what we do."
So that was a part of what happened at the meeting.
and it was decided that we would have to jump through a few more hoops and then they'd revisit the possibility of testing daughter.
I however decided I would get a lawyer and force them to test her...................and I would file a complaint against the guidance counselor with the board of education.
I felt sad for my daughter. But we really talked after the meeting......and she was ok. She wasn't feeling defeated. (God bless her)
The morning after the meeting I get a call at work from the guidance counselor. She says to me "I felt bad that Emily was crying yesterday so I took her file home with me and REALLY looked at it. I've decided to proceed with testing. Emily is here in my office and she'd like to talk to you."What I heard her say was (I worried all night about my mean inappropriate behavior at the meeting. I'm afraid I might be in trouble. I'm going to test your daughter. Maybe that decision will passify you. Maybe you won't report me if I give you what you're asking for.)
SO daughter gets on the phone and the GC leaves her alone in the office to talk to me. daughter tells me the gc called her to her office to ask her what her mother thought of the meeting. emily tells her that we both thought she was rude, and inappropriate................and that she lied about emily having to be in the special ed classes if it's found that she has a learning disability.
While at the meeting I wanted to jump across the desk and choke the GC. But...............I was trying to keep my side of it clean. I was also planning in my head my day in court. I didn't want anyone to testify that I was being loud, disruptive or rude. I wanted to be credible...........i wake in the morning still playing over in my head the GC's behavior at the meeting..... i'm really not sure what to do.
Friday, March 20, 2009
day off
Today is my off day.
I went to bed lastnight at 6pm and slept until 5 this morning. So I'm ready to go.
I need to run a few errands, and then get organized for next week..........including getting papers ready for the child support hearing.
Exhusband called me yesterday to discuss the hearing.
He didn't like what I had to say, or that I didn't agree with him, so he hung up on me.
I hate this crap..........
I still haven't filed my income tax returns.
I need to get on it! I just don't feel like it!
Another company provided us at work yesterday with a catered dinner. It was their way of congratulating us on a perfect survey.
It's been nice.
Our DON doesn't feel like we deserved a perfect survey.
I know we didn't deserve it!.............but I told her we should enjoy it anyway, and just build on it....live up to it.........you know?.....
I went to bed lastnight at 6pm and slept until 5 this morning. So I'm ready to go.
I need to run a few errands, and then get organized for next week..........including getting papers ready for the child support hearing.
Exhusband called me yesterday to discuss the hearing.
He didn't like what I had to say, or that I didn't agree with him, so he hung up on me.
I hate this crap..........
I still haven't filed my income tax returns.
I need to get on it! I just don't feel like it!
Another company provided us at work yesterday with a catered dinner. It was their way of congratulating us on a perfect survey.
It's been nice.
Our DON doesn't feel like we deserved a perfect survey.
I know we didn't deserve it!.............but I told her we should enjoy it anyway, and just build on it....live up to it.........you know?.....
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
wed.
I'm enjoying an hour or so to myself.
It's not something I get to do very often, be alone.
I like it.
Work is going well.
We're getting lots of congratulations on our survey results.
We've had flowers delivered to us, a catered dinner, and several cakes.
We're just kind of riding the high. It's been nice.
Ex-husband filed for another reduction in child support.
We have a court date for next week.
Also for next week is my yearly mammogram...........It always worries me a little when I go for my mammogram. My anxiety is a little higher this year though because I misssed last years mammo.........
and then I have an appointment with school counselor at daughters school............she's dyslexic. I want her tested. It's taken a month just to get an appointment.................I got the message today from the school.............unfortunatley it's the same time as the court hearing for the child support thing............so hopefully we can keep the date the same, just change the time.
I've also scheduled my dental cleaning/exam.....................and my gyn appointment.....but not for next week.
Daughter is jogging with friends. They run 3 miles 5 times/week It's something they started doing 2 weeks ago, and they're sticking with it.
I'm proud of her.
She was gaining weight. She talked about it...................but then took it a step further and is doing something to fix it..................
I've tried to instill in my kids that it's ok to talk about problems they will have throughout their life................but I've also tried to teach them not to stay stuck in problems.......to take action to make things right. Easier said than done some of the time I know............but still....
The little girl from up the street just knocked on the door. She wanted to know if daughter was home. Her dog is missing and she wants daughters help in looking for the pup. I swear we have a serial animal killer in this neighborhood! Fucker.
I don't have to cook supper tonight. I had some frozen left over chili in the freezer.............it's on the stove heating up right now..............and boyfriend cooked a big Irish dinner for our family yesterday............the left overs are in the frig.......so everyone has a choice..........and I don't have to cook. :O)
It's not something I get to do very often, be alone.
I like it.
Work is going well.
We're getting lots of congratulations on our survey results.
We've had flowers delivered to us, a catered dinner, and several cakes.
We're just kind of riding the high. It's been nice.
Ex-husband filed for another reduction in child support.
We have a court date for next week.
Also for next week is my yearly mammogram...........It always worries me a little when I go for my mammogram. My anxiety is a little higher this year though because I misssed last years mammo.........
and then I have an appointment with school counselor at daughters school............she's dyslexic. I want her tested. It's taken a month just to get an appointment.................I got the message today from the school.............unfortunatley it's the same time as the court hearing for the child support thing............so hopefully we can keep the date the same, just change the time.
I've also scheduled my dental cleaning/exam.....................and my gyn appointment.....but not for next week.
Daughter is jogging with friends. They run 3 miles 5 times/week It's something they started doing 2 weeks ago, and they're sticking with it.
I'm proud of her.
She was gaining weight. She talked about it...................but then took it a step further and is doing something to fix it..................
I've tried to instill in my kids that it's ok to talk about problems they will have throughout their life................but I've also tried to teach them not to stay stuck in problems.......to take action to make things right. Easier said than done some of the time I know............but still....
The little girl from up the street just knocked on the door. She wanted to know if daughter was home. Her dog is missing and she wants daughters help in looking for the pup. I swear we have a serial animal killer in this neighborhood! Fucker.
I don't have to cook supper tonight. I had some frozen left over chili in the freezer.............it's on the stove heating up right now..............and boyfriend cooked a big Irish dinner for our family yesterday............the left overs are in the frig.......so everyone has a choice..........and I don't have to cook. :O)
Friday, March 13, 2009
friday
I left work early thursday.
i was sick.
i had stopped taking the antivirals on tuesday because of an upset stomach............by thursday i was having severe stomach cramps and fatigue................the medicine also made my sinuses feel like they were stuffed with cement...it was horrible.........come thursday, 2 days after no antiviral, my sinuses were opening back up but my sense of smell was hyper sensitive............so the combination of an upset stomach and hyper sensitivity to smells was all it took to make me barf up my insides for 24 hours.
boyfriend was good to me.
he made me hot tea that i didn't drink..........brought me tissues for my nose.......and stood behind me as i vomited. he brought extra blankets to cover me with when i shivered with fever, and even put the couch pillows on top of me per my request to help warm me up when i was chilling. (he laughed at me when i asked him to cover me with the pillows....but he did it anyway. :O) )
i woke this morning feeling somewhat better. i was able to drink some hot tea............and then i sucked the juice out of some grapes. i think i was dehydrated and my body was screaming out for fluids.
i've spent today in bed. i feel better but i also feel extremely fatigued, and sore..................while resting i received calls from the hr director, my don, my new work friend , and 1 of my nurse asst.......................all of them called to let me know we had a perfect state survey. (I was very touched that they thought to call me)
long term care facilities are the single most regulated businesses..........even more so than nuclear power plants. a perfect survey is a big deal........and i mean a really big deal!
we worked hard......lots of energy and effort. so i feel pretty proud right now. :O) but i'm wiped, and so i'm going back to bed.
i was sick.
i had stopped taking the antivirals on tuesday because of an upset stomach............by thursday i was having severe stomach cramps and fatigue................the medicine also made my sinuses feel like they were stuffed with cement...it was horrible.........come thursday, 2 days after no antiviral, my sinuses were opening back up but my sense of smell was hyper sensitive............so the combination of an upset stomach and hyper sensitivity to smells was all it took to make me barf up my insides for 24 hours.
boyfriend was good to me.
he made me hot tea that i didn't drink..........brought me tissues for my nose.......and stood behind me as i vomited. he brought extra blankets to cover me with when i shivered with fever, and even put the couch pillows on top of me per my request to help warm me up when i was chilling. (he laughed at me when i asked him to cover me with the pillows....but he did it anyway. :O) )
i woke this morning feeling somewhat better. i was able to drink some hot tea............and then i sucked the juice out of some grapes. i think i was dehydrated and my body was screaming out for fluids.
i've spent today in bed. i feel better but i also feel extremely fatigued, and sore..................while resting i received calls from the hr director, my don, my new work friend , and 1 of my nurse asst.......................all of them called to let me know we had a perfect state survey. (I was very touched that they thought to call me)
long term care facilities are the single most regulated businesses..........even more so than nuclear power plants. a perfect survey is a big deal........and i mean a really big deal!
we worked hard......lots of energy and effort. so i feel pretty proud right now. :O) but i'm wiped, and so i'm going back to bed.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
wed.
It was a great day at work.
The inspectors are there for the week.
It sounds like we're doing ok so far.
One of the inspectors told our administrator that our care plans are beautiful.
Made me feel so good because I've done every single plan of care in the building. It's what I've been working on on the days I've been on paper work duty.
The inspectors are there for the week.
It sounds like we're doing ok so far.
One of the inspectors told our administrator that our care plans are beautiful.
Made me feel so good because I've done every single plan of care in the building. It's what I've been working on on the days I've been on paper work duty.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tuesday
The weather here has been so wonderful the last few days. It's been sunny, 70, and breezy.......love it.
Today was my off day but my DON called and asked me to come in...............state inspectors showed up for our yearly survey. I didn't want to go in.........I was enjoying my nap.... but what do you do when your boss asks for a favor?.........especially if you like her? So I went in...........luckily I only had to stay for a few hours.
I didn't take my antiviral medicine today.
It was making me sick to my stomach. I haven't decided if I'm going to take it tonight.
My dads birthday was the other day.
I told him I love him.
It's something I've always wanted to do, and something I've always felt........but for whatever reason I've always been afraid to say it to him. I can't remember him ever saying it to me. I always knew he loved me....and I always felt loved by him......he just never said those 3 words. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't say it............but it bothered me that I wasn't able to say it. So I said it.........and then so did he...................I'm happy it's out there............and now life goes on. :O)
Today was my off day but my DON called and asked me to come in...............state inspectors showed up for our yearly survey. I didn't want to go in.........I was enjoying my nap.... but what do you do when your boss asks for a favor?.........especially if you like her? So I went in...........luckily I only had to stay for a few hours.
I didn't take my antiviral medicine today.
It was making me sick to my stomach. I haven't decided if I'm going to take it tonight.
My dads birthday was the other day.
I told him I love him.
It's something I've always wanted to do, and something I've always felt........but for whatever reason I've always been afraid to say it to him. I can't remember him ever saying it to me. I always knew he loved me....and I always felt loved by him......he just never said those 3 words. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't say it............but it bothered me that I wasn't able to say it. So I said it.........and then so did he...................I'm happy it's out there............and now life goes on. :O)
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
work and stuff
I did paper work all day long today at work. I got a lot done.......just hope I have a little more time before the inspectors show up.
I work the floor tomorrow.
Believe it or not, and much to my surprise, I'm always a little happy to get back to my patients and to my unit.
I like making sure they're getting what they need, pulling all the loose ends together, and making sure my unit is organized. Plus I like working with the nurse hired to replace me, who really didn't replace me, but who works the other half of my unit. We have fun together and are quickly becoming close friends. It's kinda cool.
The antiviral drug I'm taking makes me tired. But the good thing is that i've been sleeping 10-12 hours a night most nights AND I've been sleeping like a baby. So that's GOOD, huh?
I work the floor tomorrow.
Believe it or not, and much to my surprise, I'm always a little happy to get back to my patients and to my unit.
I like making sure they're getting what they need, pulling all the loose ends together, and making sure my unit is organized. Plus I like working with the nurse hired to replace me, who really didn't replace me, but who works the other half of my unit. We have fun together and are quickly becoming close friends. It's kinda cool.
The antiviral drug I'm taking makes me tired. But the good thing is that i've been sleeping 10-12 hours a night most nights AND I've been sleeping like a baby. So that's GOOD, huh?
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
this n that
Boyfriends biopsy results are all normal. It was a huge relief hearing the good news. I want him to stick around in this world for many more years. The whole ordeal made me realize what an important part of my life he is........he's my best friend......and I love him.
I went to the doctor last Friday.
My initial hiv test was negative...............and my hepatitis vaccine is still working..........I'll be retested in 6 weeks..... in 3 months....and 6 months. The blood "donor" tested negative for hepatitis.....positive for hiv/aids.
I'm tolerating the antiviral drug ok. It makes me tired........and like I'm coming down with a whopper of a cold (unless I really am getting a cold).......but I won't complain too much because having the medicine makes me feel like I have a little bit of control over the whole situation....
WOrk is crazy busy. Our census has tripled in the last 4 weeks. Some of the time it feels like one great big cluster fuck of a mess........but we'll pull it all together in time.....hopefully before our annual inspection.
I've been back on the floor for a couple of weeks........but I'm also still doing paper work part of the time. My DON tells me eventually it will become a full time permanent position..........she has an okay from the owners 2nd hand man but she needs to convince the administrator. We'll see.
The nurse from our new owners old facility, the one I thought they had hired to replace me, has become a pretty good work friend. She's a really nice person. Funny how things work out.
The nurse that caused my blood exposure has been hiding from me. As soon as she sees me coming she runs into a room, closet, or cubby hole to hide. The afternoon of the stick when I called my DON I was kind of emotional............and when I told my DON what had happened I also told her I wanted to knock BAD NURSES fucking head off.
I think DON told BAD NURSE what I said.
BAD NURSE was disciplined. DON wanted to fire her.....but for whatever reason the facility attorney said they couldn't.
I went to the doctor last Friday.
My initial hiv test was negative...............and my hepatitis vaccine is still working..........I'll be retested in 6 weeks..... in 3 months....and 6 months. The blood "donor" tested negative for hepatitis.....positive for hiv/aids.
I'm tolerating the antiviral drug ok. It makes me tired........and like I'm coming down with a whopper of a cold (unless I really am getting a cold).......but I won't complain too much because having the medicine makes me feel like I have a little bit of control over the whole situation....
WOrk is crazy busy. Our census has tripled in the last 4 weeks. Some of the time it feels like one great big cluster fuck of a mess........but we'll pull it all together in time.....hopefully before our annual inspection.
I've been back on the floor for a couple of weeks........but I'm also still doing paper work part of the time. My DON tells me eventually it will become a full time permanent position..........she has an okay from the owners 2nd hand man but she needs to convince the administrator. We'll see.
The nurse from our new owners old facility, the one I thought they had hired to replace me, has become a pretty good work friend. She's a really nice person. Funny how things work out.
The nurse that caused my blood exposure has been hiding from me. As soon as she sees me coming she runs into a room, closet, or cubby hole to hide. The afternoon of the stick when I called my DON I was kind of emotional............and when I told my DON what had happened I also told her I wanted to knock BAD NURSES fucking head off.
I think DON told BAD NURSE what I said.
BAD NURSE was disciplined. DON wanted to fire her.....but for whatever reason the facility attorney said they couldn't.
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