I'm going to follow Odies "Thankful Thursday" idea and try to do the same.
I'm thankful, today, for the following: (but it's not an all inclusive list)
my damn corns don't hurt anymore. i stopped wearing those nursing clogs, bought some soft leather shoes to work in, and the corns went away. no more pain. yay!
when i went outside this morning to breath in the cool crisp air, We-Ping rubbed against my legs, and then tried to bury her head in my foot.......and then like a puppy, she licked the top of my foot. We-Ping has autism I think, or some sort of neurological problem..........touching is not something she likes. So when she is physically affectionate it feels like a gift......and I love it.
boyfriend is the best friend i've ever had...........ever.........in my whole life. who'd of thought a person would meet their best friend in the second half of their life?
daughter registered last night on line to take her ACT without me telling her to do so..............I didn't even know she was registering for the test until she called me in and asked for my bank card number to pay for the test.
I've gathered all the papers the bank requested without the world coming to an end. :O)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
lil anxiety
Today I have to get together all the papers I need for the bank.
Paper stuff is what makes me anxious.
During my divorce I struggled with opening my mail, or even bringing it in from the mailbox.
I'm 98% over that now..............but 2% of that old anxiety has kept it's hold on me.........especially when it comes to this type of thing.
I'm already approved.......so why I worry is beyond me.
Old scars can be tender at times I guess.
Boyfriend and Mr. Bojangles are in my bed sleeping.
I've already straightened up the house. I'll do it each morning and every evening
while it's on the market. I'm procrastinating doing the paper work.........typing this stuff instead.
Sons close on their place Nov. 1st I think. The 1st or the 15th.
I told them to come for supper every other Sunday, open invitation...........
And of course we'll get together for holidays and family functions.....and any other time too.
I'm proud of my sons. They're both hard workers.
Boyfriend is going to be there with me while I gather the papers the bank needs. He knows about my anxiety and doesn't think I'm a nut. He just accepts me for all that I am, and all that I'm not.
I'm a lucky woman.
Paper stuff is what makes me anxious.
During my divorce I struggled with opening my mail, or even bringing it in from the mailbox.
I'm 98% over that now..............but 2% of that old anxiety has kept it's hold on me.........especially when it comes to this type of thing.
I'm already approved.......so why I worry is beyond me.
Old scars can be tender at times I guess.
Boyfriend and Mr. Bojangles are in my bed sleeping.
I've already straightened up the house. I'll do it each morning and every evening
while it's on the market. I'm procrastinating doing the paper work.........typing this stuff instead.
Sons close on their place Nov. 1st I think. The 1st or the 15th.
I told them to come for supper every other Sunday, open invitation...........
And of course we'll get together for holidays and family functions.....and any other time too.
I'm proud of my sons. They're both hard workers.
Boyfriend is going to be there with me while I gather the papers the bank needs. He knows about my anxiety and doesn't think I'm a nut. He just accepts me for all that I am, and all that I'm not.
I'm a lucky woman.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
house 4 sale
Our house has a for sale sign in the front yard. :O)
I'm not getting my hopes up though.
It's a bad time, because of the economy, unemployment, etc. to try and sell a house.
We'll see what happens.
Lowes had a great sale on yard decorations.
Items that were 15-20 bucks were on sale for 1 dollar.
I bought the cutest wood cow, and a couple bird thingies.
They'll look cute on my new deck at the condo.......or on my deck here if we
don't sell.
I love when I get a good deal.
School called this morning to tell me daughter didn't come to school today.
I knew she wouldn't skip school. It's spirit week and she's in charge......she even dressed in some crazy get-up today for the event. Plus she's just not the skip school type.
Boyfriend and I drove down to the school to see if the car
was in the parking lot.
It was there.
So I called the school & asked them to double check if she was there.......
They checked.......she was in class.
I was relieved.
I'm not getting my hopes up though.
It's a bad time, because of the economy, unemployment, etc. to try and sell a house.
We'll see what happens.
Lowes had a great sale on yard decorations.
Items that were 15-20 bucks were on sale for 1 dollar.
I bought the cutest wood cow, and a couple bird thingies.
They'll look cute on my new deck at the condo.......or on my deck here if we
don't sell.
I love when I get a good deal.
School called this morning to tell me daughter didn't come to school today.
I knew she wouldn't skip school. It's spirit week and she's in charge......she even dressed in some crazy get-up today for the event. Plus she's just not the skip school type.
Boyfriend and I drove down to the school to see if the car
was in the parking lot.
It was there.
So I called the school & asked them to double check if she was there.......
They checked.......she was in class.
I was relieved.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
my life
Tired.
worked.
(
) the space to the left is everything I wanted to say about what's going on at work & the feelings I have towards some of my patients and my profession in general.
feel in the blank if you wish.
I have one patient though who loves to play. When I'm outside her door I sing "RICOLA!" (long story on why this started) Then she sings "Praise the lord!" Then me "RICOLA!" Then she over laps my "RICOLA" with her "Praise the lord!" we continue though........me adding another line, and then she does.........and back and forth we go until she's choking with laughter. It always starts with Ricola and praise the lord........and then it just goes wherever..............she likes our silly game. I do too.
Boyfriend is behind me in the bed sleeping. Kitty (Mr. Bojangles) is to my left on my dresser sleeping. Daughter is in herbedroom sleeping or texting.
Nancy Grace is on the TV. I'm sick of shows like hers who sensationalize and exploit the horrific events that happen some of the time, or all of the time it seems, to people. Boyfriend watches it...................I'll turn it off.
The realtor will be here tomorrow morning to photograph the inside and outside of the house. I've spent the last 2 days working 12 and 1/2 hour shifts. The house is not tidy!
I'll be up very early cleaning......... again. :O)
worked.
(
) the space to the left is everything I wanted to say about what's going on at work & the feelings I have towards some of my patients and my profession in general.
feel in the blank if you wish.
I have one patient though who loves to play. When I'm outside her door I sing "RICOLA!" (long story on why this started) Then she sings "Praise the lord!" Then me "RICOLA!" Then she over laps my "RICOLA" with her "Praise the lord!" we continue though........me adding another line, and then she does.........and back and forth we go until she's choking with laughter. It always starts with Ricola and praise the lord........and then it just goes wherever..............she likes our silly game. I do too.
Boyfriend is behind me in the bed sleeping. Kitty (Mr. Bojangles) is to my left on my dresser sleeping. Daughter is in herbedroom sleeping or texting.
Nancy Grace is on the TV. I'm sick of shows like hers who sensationalize and exploit the horrific events that happen some of the time, or all of the time it seems, to people. Boyfriend watches it...................I'll turn it off.
The realtor will be here tomorrow morning to photograph the inside and outside of the house. I've spent the last 2 days working 12 and 1/2 hour shifts. The house is not tidy!
I'll be up very early cleaning......... again. :O)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
cravings, cleaning, cooking and stuff
I'm up early with a pounding headache. I took some motrin nad then hung out a bit with the Mr. Bojangles..................14 months after quitting smoking and i'm having horrible cravings. I bought some nicotine gum last night. My first thought when I woke this morning was my head hurts, second thought was I want a ciggarette. So i'm chewing a piece of this gross gum. I don't wanna smoke. I don't want to let my daughter down, or my health. So i'll chew this sickening stuff and do whatever it takes to not smoke.
When this headache passes I'm going to put some dirt in the flower bed, put a new door nob on the hall closet, add a lamp to the living room, dust the buffet. Boyfriend is going to put new base board in daughters bathroom....and then we're going to tackle the garage and basement bedroom/whatever room.
When all the work is complete I'll call Mr. Realtor and tell him to come Wed. (my off day) to list the house..............and that's that...............................I have split chicken breasts marinating in a store bought marinade......lemon pepper to be exact.........so all I'll ahve to do later is pop the chicken in the oven, and make a salad. I'm going to slice up cantelope for dessert. I'm guessing i'll get to my book...........maybe even take daughter shopping for shoes to go with her homecoming dress. :O)
When this headache passes I'm going to put some dirt in the flower bed, put a new door nob on the hall closet, add a lamp to the living room, dust the buffet. Boyfriend is going to put new base board in daughters bathroom....and then we're going to tackle the garage and basement bedroom/whatever room.
When all the work is complete I'll call Mr. Realtor and tell him to come Wed. (my off day) to list the house..............and that's that...............................I have split chicken breasts marinating in a store bought marinade......lemon pepper to be exact.........so all I'll ahve to do later is pop the chicken in the oven, and make a salad. I'm going to slice up cantelope for dessert. I'm guessing i'll get to my book...........maybe even take daughter shopping for shoes to go with her homecoming dress. :O)
nice stuff mixed with a little drama
Today I went to the condo to pick out my flooring and carpeting.
I can't remember what any of it looks like except the bathroom floors.
Daughter picked out the floor for one of the bathrooms, and I picked out my bathroom floor.
It's really dark but I love it. She picked a prettier, brighter color. I love it too.
Daughter hated the carpeting I picked. She wanted something different. I had the final say though and went with my choice.
My house still isn't listed and the clock is ticking.
My goal is to have it listed by Wednesday.
Daughter is staying the night with a girlfriend so boyfriend and I went out to dinner and then shopping. We needed some crap for work we still need to do around the house.
We ended up in Walmart trying on Halloween masks. He had me cracking up laughing at some of the stuff he was putting on........he's silly.
Son put in a bid on a place and held firm. He refused to budge. The place is a foreclosure............over a 3 week period the bank finally came down to his offer....I think he got a really good deal......I'm happy for him. He's picked out the colors he's going to paint the place & has picked out his new wood floors. We're all going to spend a weekend painting his place and putting in the floors. It'll be fun.
I called the teacher who refuses to give daughter the "B" she got on an assignment. He says her absence was unexcused and gave her an F. She was at an ortho appointment and had a doctors excuse. I have a copy of the note in my purse. The school was also given a copy.
I questioned him about his refusal to give her the grade she earned. He talked in circles the way a liar does.
He brought up the fact that he knows daughter is having problems because he says the school counselor told him she is.....and the counselor also told him about her anxiety concerning college.
I think he was implying that because she has seen the counselor, her credibility is in question.
I was furious.
I told him to forget it. It was a waste of my time talking to him. I also told him none of the students like him, except for my daughter. Because it's the truth......and if a liar can't tell the truth then by God they can hear the truth. I wanted to tell him to get fucked. But I bit my tongue on that one.
I called the school and whoever answered the phone got a ear full of my crying. (I cry anymore when I'm frustrated, angry, or sad. Can't help it......like projectile vomit it just comes out.........though I try to hold it back.) I explained to nameless nice lady that all I wanted was for daughter to have a good, fun, drama-less last year of high school.........and I explained to her the thing about daughter not getting the grade she earned because of an "unexcused" absence.
And then I called the counselor and left a message asking for reassurance that my daughters conversations with him were being kept private.
Daughter called me from school later in the day to tell me things were being corrected by the office in terms of her unexcused absence and correcting her grade.
So we'll see.
The rest of the shit I'm just going to let go.....I think.
I bought a book while shopping.
I haven't really been able to read and enjoy it like I used to before my therapeutic leave of absence from work.
It's a thriller........one of my favorite writers........I'm hoping that after I have everything finished around the house tomorrow I'll have a couple hours to read.
I can't remember what any of it looks like except the bathroom floors.
Daughter picked out the floor for one of the bathrooms, and I picked out my bathroom floor.
It's really dark but I love it. She picked a prettier, brighter color. I love it too.
Daughter hated the carpeting I picked. She wanted something different. I had the final say though and went with my choice.
My house still isn't listed and the clock is ticking.
My goal is to have it listed by Wednesday.
Daughter is staying the night with a girlfriend so boyfriend and I went out to dinner and then shopping. We needed some crap for work we still need to do around the house.
We ended up in Walmart trying on Halloween masks. He had me cracking up laughing at some of the stuff he was putting on........he's silly.
Son put in a bid on a place and held firm. He refused to budge. The place is a foreclosure............over a 3 week period the bank finally came down to his offer....I think he got a really good deal......I'm happy for him. He's picked out the colors he's going to paint the place & has picked out his new wood floors. We're all going to spend a weekend painting his place and putting in the floors. It'll be fun.
I called the teacher who refuses to give daughter the "B" she got on an assignment. He says her absence was unexcused and gave her an F. She was at an ortho appointment and had a doctors excuse. I have a copy of the note in my purse. The school was also given a copy.
I questioned him about his refusal to give her the grade she earned. He talked in circles the way a liar does.
He brought up the fact that he knows daughter is having problems because he says the school counselor told him she is.....and the counselor also told him about her anxiety concerning college.
I think he was implying that because she has seen the counselor, her credibility is in question.
I was furious.
I told him to forget it. It was a waste of my time talking to him. I also told him none of the students like him, except for my daughter. Because it's the truth......and if a liar can't tell the truth then by God they can hear the truth. I wanted to tell him to get fucked. But I bit my tongue on that one.
I called the school and whoever answered the phone got a ear full of my crying. (I cry anymore when I'm frustrated, angry, or sad. Can't help it......like projectile vomit it just comes out.........though I try to hold it back.) I explained to nameless nice lady that all I wanted was for daughter to have a good, fun, drama-less last year of high school.........and I explained to her the thing about daughter not getting the grade she earned because of an "unexcused" absence.
And then I called the counselor and left a message asking for reassurance that my daughters conversations with him were being kept private.
Daughter called me from school later in the day to tell me things were being corrected by the office in terms of her unexcused absence and correcting her grade.
So we'll see.
The rest of the shit I'm just going to let go.....I think.
I bought a book while shopping.
I haven't really been able to read and enjoy it like I used to before my therapeutic leave of absence from work.
It's a thriller........one of my favorite writers........I'm hoping that after I have everything finished around the house tomorrow I'll have a couple hours to read.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
this n that
We have a new night shift nurse. She was my relief the other night. We chit chatted a bit just getting to know each other. She asked me what city I'm from. I hesitated for just a second as I almost always do because the city I live in doesn't have the best of reputations. People from other cities and communities tend to have misconceptions and prejudices about us.
I told her where I was from......and she kind of chuckled a bit at my hesitation. She understood because she too is from the city I live......and she also went to the same high school ............so we talked a bit about the mafia, gambling, and prostitution that used to be ramped in our little town a long time ago...... and before I was born.......... I told her how when I was in high school and our class traveled to all the different colleges in Kentucky........we were booed & had food thrown on us as they chanted "Sin City"...........I remember feeling surprised, scared, confused, and hurt.
She shared with me similar stories. We didn't understand peoples reaction to us (students from other schools, and parents of students from other schools) back then. We were just kids, same as any kid from any other school.
I told her how even today, my daughter who attends the same high school, is instructed (all the teams, and student body are) to prove them (people in other communities) wrong.. Always be on your best behavior etc..etc..........
I don't know..........it was nice meeting someone at my work who comes from the same place as I do.......it's nice having that common bond.
The bank locked in my interest rate today. The realtor ( I went with someone different than the girl I mentioned in an earlier post) came to my house today to see the house and to talk money. We decided on an asking price...........................I asked him to lower his 6% commission. He lowered it 1%. :O)
I need a few more days to get some things in order around my house. So he'll be back in a few days to take pictures, to sign contracts and whatever else needs to be done.
I feel a little overwhelmed with all that I still need to do.....specifically all the paper work I need to get together for the bank. I hate that kind of stuff. It makes me anxious.
Daughter has been put in charge of spirit week at school.
She's thrilled and has numerous activities planned for that week for the student body and the teachers.
I'm happy for her.
She seems happier this year. And the cheerleading squad FINALLY got their new uniforms. They're very nice..............
Son is still in negotiations for his new place.................him and his brother are going to live together and share living expenses for awhile.............. They both play on an adult league baseball team. Oldest sons team is the worse in the league. Middle sons team is the best team.
They're best friends.
That makes me happy.
I told her where I was from......and she kind of chuckled a bit at my hesitation. She understood because she too is from the city I live......and she also went to the same high school ............so we talked a bit about the mafia, gambling, and prostitution that used to be ramped in our little town a long time ago...... and before I was born.......... I told her how when I was in high school and our class traveled to all the different colleges in Kentucky........we were booed & had food thrown on us as they chanted "Sin City"...........I remember feeling surprised, scared, confused, and hurt.
She shared with me similar stories. We didn't understand peoples reaction to us (students from other schools, and parents of students from other schools) back then. We were just kids, same as any kid from any other school.
I told her how even today, my daughter who attends the same high school, is instructed (all the teams, and student body are) to prove them (people in other communities) wrong.. Always be on your best behavior etc..etc..........
I don't know..........it was nice meeting someone at my work who comes from the same place as I do.......it's nice having that common bond.
The bank locked in my interest rate today. The realtor ( I went with someone different than the girl I mentioned in an earlier post) came to my house today to see the house and to talk money. We decided on an asking price...........................I asked him to lower his 6% commission. He lowered it 1%. :O)
I need a few more days to get some things in order around my house. So he'll be back in a few days to take pictures, to sign contracts and whatever else needs to be done.
I feel a little overwhelmed with all that I still need to do.....specifically all the paper work I need to get together for the bank. I hate that kind of stuff. It makes me anxious.
Daughter has been put in charge of spirit week at school.
She's thrilled and has numerous activities planned for that week for the student body and the teachers.
I'm happy for her.
She seems happier this year. And the cheerleading squad FINALLY got their new uniforms. They're very nice..............
Son is still in negotiations for his new place.................him and his brother are going to live together and share living expenses for awhile.............. They both play on an adult league baseball team. Oldest sons team is the worse in the league. Middle sons team is the best team.
They're best friends.
That makes me happy.
Monday, September 20, 2010
monday (i think)
we worked our butts off in the yard this afternoon painting a railing, planting mums, cutting and edging the grass and hosing the driveway and sidewalks.
It looks inviting I think.
I also packed up two closets so that they look bigger to potential buyers.
Tomorrow morning I sign the contract on the condo...............and I'm going call the bank to lock in the interest rate offered to me.
my central air is fixed. all it needed was a new fuse. so that's a huge load off my shoulders.
daughter missed a math class maybe 2 weeks ago because she had an orthopedic appointment. school policy is that if you have a doctors note for a missed class, you have 3 days to turn in an assignment you may have missed when you missed the class. she had a doctors note, and turned in the assignment on day 2. the teacher told her he's only going to give her 50% of the grade she received on the paper.
she went to the guidance counselor, and he told her he'd check in to it. the guy so far has followed through on a few things he's told me he was going to do.
i'm crossing my fingers that he follows through on this..........and i'm also hoping that daughter has found an advocate in the school.
i don't want to be pissed. but i am. i'm crossing my fingers that things are resolved without me having to get involved.
i don't want to fight with these people another school year. i'm tired. i'm struggling. you know?
It looks inviting I think.
I also packed up two closets so that they look bigger to potential buyers.
Tomorrow morning I sign the contract on the condo...............and I'm going call the bank to lock in the interest rate offered to me.
my central air is fixed. all it needed was a new fuse. so that's a huge load off my shoulders.
daughter missed a math class maybe 2 weeks ago because she had an orthopedic appointment. school policy is that if you have a doctors note for a missed class, you have 3 days to turn in an assignment you may have missed when you missed the class. she had a doctors note, and turned in the assignment on day 2. the teacher told her he's only going to give her 50% of the grade she received on the paper.
she went to the guidance counselor, and he told her he'd check in to it. the guy so far has followed through on a few things he's told me he was going to do.
i'm crossing my fingers that he follows through on this..........and i'm also hoping that daughter has found an advocate in the school.
i don't want to be pissed. but i am. i'm crossing my fingers that things are resolved without me having to get involved.
i don't want to fight with these people another school year. i'm tired. i'm struggling. you know?
monday
The condo people accepted my final offer. :O) Finally.
The process was kind of fun.
I feel like I did a good job. I got it for less than what I told myself my
bottom line would be. I only have 90 days to sell my house though, and then we'd have to renegotiate........and in the mean time they have the right to sell the condo if someone else makes an offer. So things are still kind of up in the air.
The bank is allowing me to buy the condo even if I don't sell my house, but I won't do that......it could end up being financial suicide.
I'll officially list my house this Wednesday.
I have tons of work to do.................and to boot, my central air died yesterday.
I'll do what I can to revive it. Hopefully I won't have to replace it.
The process was kind of fun.
I feel like I did a good job. I got it for less than what I told myself my
bottom line would be. I only have 90 days to sell my house though, and then we'd have to renegotiate........and in the mean time they have the right to sell the condo if someone else makes an offer. So things are still kind of up in the air.
The bank is allowing me to buy the condo even if I don't sell my house, but I won't do that......it could end up being financial suicide.
I'll officially list my house this Wednesday.
I have tons of work to do.................and to boot, my central air died yesterday.
I'll do what I can to revive it. Hopefully I won't have to replace it.
Friday, September 17, 2010
on ye wildcats!
Boyfriend and I went to the high schools football game to watch daughter cheer and to watch some football. Our team played my mom and dad's old high schools football team. If you check out the score board you'll see we stomped them. It was fun. The cheer leading squad was great. I was proud of daughter.,,,,,,,and I told the coach what a good job she's doing and invited her to bring herself and her two daughters over for dinner soon. I think I still make her nervous though...........but she did agree she'd come......the anger towards her I felt is gone. I'm still angry at the principal and superintendent for allowing what happened to happen with seemingly little consequence. I'm sure I'll get over those negative feelings too.The seller of the condo gave me an ultimatum. So I thanked her for her time and said no. She wrote me back a few hours later with a better offer. I countered again. She's left me hanging. But that's okay because I can live with either outcome. :O)
and just as a side note I spoke to my son about feeling like I'm taking away their home........he reminded me I'm selling a house, not memories. That's sweet, huh.
I really am lucky.
PS......daughter cracks me up the way she wears her cheer leading hair bow.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
why can't it just be easy?
So I made an offer on the condo. They counter offered.....and their counter is what I haD TOLD MYSELF i WOULD AGREE TO. iT'S WHAT i WANTED. iT'S WHAT i WAS HOPING FOR.........i SENT HER A QUESTION ABOUT THE COUNTER OFFER STALLING FOR TIME........BECAUSE NOW i'M NOT SO SURE THAT THIS IS THE TIME TO MOVE.
i SHOULD WAIT UNTIL eMM GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL........aND I WAS THINKING I NEED THE YARD TO MAYBE REFINISH THE 70 YEAR OLD DINING ROOM SET THAT I HAVE, AND THE ANTIQUE BEDROOM SET,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,AND MAYBE i NEEED TO REALLY BE CONCERNED THAT CONDOS SEEM TO BE A DIME A DOZEN AND WILL I EVER GET A RETURN ON MY INVESTMENT..........AND i GET TEarful at the thought of leaving the home where i raised my children.......and then I worry that i'm disappointing daughter and boyfriend if i don't take the condo.
i SHOULD WAIT UNTIL eMM GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL........aND I WAS THINKING I NEED THE YARD TO MAYBE REFINISH THE 70 YEAR OLD DINING ROOM SET THAT I HAVE, AND THE ANTIQUE BEDROOM SET,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,AND MAYBE i NEEED TO REALLY BE CONCERNED THAT CONDOS SEEM TO BE A DIME A DOZEN AND WILL I EVER GET A RETURN ON MY INVESTMENT..........AND i GET TEarful at the thought of leaving the home where i raised my children.......and then I worry that i'm disappointing daughter and boyfriend if i don't take the condo.
let the negotiations begin
So it's been a busy past two days. The realtor who will be listing my house came over last night. Her mother was my daughters 7th grade social studies teacher. She also was the owner of, and one of the care givers of the day care daughter attended.
My daughter loved her. I liked her and her husband. They were nice people.She died unexpectedly last year, I felt like I was doing something for her by giving her daughter my house to list.
So she came to my house last evening and we reviewed all the crap that needed to be looked over......decided on a selling price.........
So she'll officially list my house next Wednesday night. In the mean time I will be busy sprucing up the place.
I also put in a contract today on the condo.
I GO BETWEEN BEING EXCITED TO wanting to just stay in my comfort zone and tell everyone all deals are off.
I also feel guilt selling my children's childhood home. On TV the parents stay in the home forever. Grand kids and adult children visit......and on TV they even keep the adult children's bedroom decorated the way it was when the kid left off to college.................I always thought that's what I would do...........................I feel guilt selling..............my sons will have no emotional connection to my new home. I feel like I'm taking their home away from them. Because I am......aren't I?
My daughter loved her. I liked her and her husband. They were nice people.She died unexpectedly last year, I felt like I was doing something for her by giving her daughter my house to list.
So she came to my house last evening and we reviewed all the crap that needed to be looked over......decided on a selling price.........
So she'll officially list my house next Wednesday night. In the mean time I will be busy sprucing up the place.
I also put in a contract today on the condo.
I GO BETWEEN BEING EXCITED TO wanting to just stay in my comfort zone and tell everyone all deals are off.
I also feel guilt selling my children's childhood home. On TV the parents stay in the home forever. Grand kids and adult children visit......and on TV they even keep the adult children's bedroom decorated the way it was when the kid left off to college.................I always thought that's what I would do...........................I feel guilt selling..............my sons will have no emotional connection to my new home. I feel like I'm taking their home away from them. Because I am......aren't I?
Monday, September 13, 2010
today....monday
So yesterday was beautiful outside. I mean it couldn't have been any prettier. I wanted to spend time outside...........so I had planned on going with boyfriend and daughter to a pig roast/Bengals party at a local place where son shoots pool. When sons found out I was planning on going middle son asked me not to come. The kids father was going to be there............not a problem for me, and doubtful it would be a problem for ex.........apparently though a problem for son.
I felt badly for him......and my feelings were hurt too...................but I thought screw it if they don't want me there..............bowed out gracefully...........boyfriend, daughter and I had planned on going condo looking prior to the roast, and so we did. I found the condo of my dreams. It's at the same place as the last one, only this one is even more of everything at a better price because it's on the 3rd floor.
I can keep my windows open without worrying about someone crawling through them. The deck faces a mountain. The view is pretty.................daughter loves it, boyfriend thinks it's great.
Now I just have to make a commitment to the move, or put it off until spring.
After condo looking we went to a summer hamburger stand out in the county and sat at a picnic table eating burgers/corn dogs, and milkshakes. The place was packed as it was it's last day to be open this summer. We had a good time...........
Today I was feeling down for no reason in particular, so I called off work.
Not sure what I'm going to do. .......something productive other than taking care of other people...............that usually helps me to feel better.
I felt badly for him......and my feelings were hurt too...................but I thought screw it if they don't want me there..............bowed out gracefully...........boyfriend, daughter and I had planned on going condo looking prior to the roast, and so we did. I found the condo of my dreams. It's at the same place as the last one, only this one is even more of everything at a better price because it's on the 3rd floor.
I can keep my windows open without worrying about someone crawling through them. The deck faces a mountain. The view is pretty.................daughter loves it, boyfriend thinks it's great.
Now I just have to make a commitment to the move, or put it off until spring.
After condo looking we went to a summer hamburger stand out in the county and sat at a picnic table eating burgers/corn dogs, and milkshakes. The place was packed as it was it's last day to be open this summer. We had a good time...........
Today I was feeling down for no reason in particular, so I called off work.
Not sure what I'm going to do. .......something productive other than taking care of other people...............that usually helps me to feel better.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
saturday
We had a good day.
Daughter, boyfriend, and I looked at condos.
We found the one we want, I think.
I'm wondering if I can muster up the energy to get my house
ready to have it listed.
My plan is to have it listed by Oct.1. Sell it by Dec.1 or take it off the market and list it again in Feb. or March.
I want to make an offer on the condo next week.........we'll see.
After condo searching/looking we went to Joe's Crab shack on the river and had a late lunch/early supper. We sat outside so we could watch the boats go by, but it started to rain, and there was a heavy wind. So we came inside.
The crab legs were delicious, as was the corn on the cop......the Calamari was so so. We had fun though with playful conversation.
Daughter took off when we got home.........so boyfriend and I went back out and did a drive by the condos again...............and then just took a drive........................
and now I'm going to cocoon myself in my comforter on the couch and watch demand TV. :O)
Daughter, boyfriend, and I looked at condos.
We found the one we want, I think.
I'm wondering if I can muster up the energy to get my house
ready to have it listed.
My plan is to have it listed by Oct.1. Sell it by Dec.1 or take it off the market and list it again in Feb. or March.
I want to make an offer on the condo next week.........we'll see.
After condo searching/looking we went to Joe's Crab shack on the river and had a late lunch/early supper. We sat outside so we could watch the boats go by, but it started to rain, and there was a heavy wind. So we came inside.
The crab legs were delicious, as was the corn on the cop......the Calamari was so so. We had fun though with playful conversation.
Daughter took off when we got home.........so boyfriend and I went back out and did a drive by the condos again...............and then just took a drive........................
and now I'm going to cocoon myself in my comforter on the couch and watch demand TV. :O)
Thursday, September 09, 2010
2 walls
some thoughts found on the wall at Columbine. we have many more but the sun blurred the pictures. "I no longer take anything for granted"..........that's sad.
My friend Chas putting my prayer in the wailing wall. He said 18 prayers fell out when he put mine in..........oops!.................he put them back.
He's so sweet.
He brought me back from Greece an evil eye.
I think that's what it's called. He said to hang it ouside my house to keep the evil out. I told him I didn't want to be homeless!
I think that's what it's called. He said to hang it ouside my house to keep the evil out. I told him I didn't want to be homeless!Tuesday, September 07, 2010
tuesday
The school counselor called me this morning.(what a nice guy. i can see why daughter wanted to go to him.) We discussed daughter and the anxiety she feels in regards to school and college................he seemed to have a good grasp on what's going on and gave his opinion on the steps he thinks we should take to deal with the problem. It's what I had planned on doing. Now I feel more confident.
I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully, soon daughter will too.
Boyfriend is coming home today.
It's never easy for him to tell his sons good-bye.
He's planning more frequent visits home. I think he should.
I had a phone call last night from some guy named Carlos "but i'm not Mexican" lol. So he thought I was someone I was not......he had the wrong number........we ended up chit chatting for a couple of minutes(a couple of minutes at most) and for those couple of minutes really enjoyed each others company. (he's probably a serial killer or robber)
Some people are just cool. You know?
I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully, soon daughter will too.
Boyfriend is coming home today.
It's never easy for him to tell his sons good-bye.
He's planning more frequent visits home. I think he should.
I had a phone call last night from some guy named Carlos "but i'm not Mexican" lol. So he thought I was someone I was not......he had the wrong number........we ended up chit chatting for a couple of minutes(a couple of minutes at most) and for those couple of minutes really enjoyed each others company. (he's probably a serial killer or robber)
Some people are just cool. You know?
Monday, September 06, 2010
football
(bus ride to the game)
Won our first 3 scrimmage games. Lost 1st official game of the season. Won our second game. Not too shabby
(bus ride after the game))
Won our first 3 scrimmage games. Lost 1st official game of the season. Won our second game. Not too shabby
(bus ride after the game))BP you suck
Now what I hear is that BP is burning alive the sea turtle during their "controlled" burning of the oil they polluted our oceans with.YOU STILL SUCK BP. REALLY YOU DO!
Saturday, September 04, 2010
more stuff
i ove this song..........sure you've heard it.......YouTube - Sarah McLachlan - I Love You (Mirroball Live) and this one too.........................YouTube - ?? Whenever You Come Around by Vince Gill ??
SUPER FREAK
So after my divorce and when i started dating again I only dated when the kids were at their dads house.............................never involved the kids in my love life/dating..........I dated a handful of men.......and then I met a guy on here from my home town..... actually he went to the same high school as I did.....he graduated a year ahead of me.
we dated for a couple months........almost everything about him to me was just right. I was crazy infatuated with him......attracted to him in everyway...................and after dating a couple months........standing in the dark in his living room, arms around each other kissing and saying our good-byes for the night............he says to me "I love you"...................and what do I do you ask, or not.....................................but what i do is straight out pretend I didn't hear what he said........................I wanted him to love me.................I was crazy about him like I'd never been about anyone....................and I freak and pretend not to hear him.......I freeze, and freak,,,...........i'M A FREAKING FREAK!...............,,,,,even think maybe he accidentally said what he had said............I mean I've accidentally told people i love them atleast 0 times..........................SO I IGNORE HIM AND PRETEND IT DIDNT HAPPEN.
we dated a couple more weeks after that night and then he bowed out.............CAN YOU BLAME HIM?
we dated for a couple months........almost everything about him to me was just right. I was crazy infatuated with him......attracted to him in everyway...................and after dating a couple months........standing in the dark in his living room, arms around each other kissing and saying our good-byes for the night............he says to me "I love you"...................and what do I do you ask, or not.....................................but what i do is straight out pretend I didn't hear what he said........................I wanted him to love me.................I was crazy about him like I'd never been about anyone....................and I freak and pretend not to hear him.......I freeze, and freak,,,...........i'M A FREAKING FREAK!...............,,,,,even think maybe he accidentally said what he had said............I mean I've accidentally told people i love them atleast 0 times..........................SO I IGNORE HIM AND PRETEND IT DIDNT HAPPEN.
we dated a couple more weeks after that night and then he bowed out.............CAN YOU BLAME HIM?
saturday
Random thoughts while at work today:
My head hurts.
I wish you wouldn't talk to me.
I love "D" She cracks me up.
Then take her ass home you ungrateful asshole.
Probably hiding from you.
Sick of charting.
Maybe I"ll bake a cake when I get home.
I can't believe I didn't chart on her. I know I charted on her!
Would I rather be a mafia mistress, or a mafia wife?
OMG is the day ever gonna end?
I could pretend to be looking at the keyboard and take a nap.
Can it really be that funny?
That was your first mistake!
I wonder if a mafia mistress is killed once the mafia guy tires of her.
Can't wait to be home on the couch with daughter and mr bojangles.
If I bake a cake I'll eat it.
My head hurts.
I wish you wouldn't talk to me.
I love "D" She cracks me up.
Then take her ass home you ungrateful asshole.
Probably hiding from you.
Sick of charting.
Maybe I"ll bake a cake when I get home.
I can't believe I didn't chart on her. I know I charted on her!
Would I rather be a mafia mistress, or a mafia wife?
OMG is the day ever gonna end?
I could pretend to be looking at the keyboard and take a nap.
Can it really be that funny?
That was your first mistake!
I wonder if a mafia mistress is killed once the mafia guy tires of her.
Can't wait to be home on the couch with daughter and mr bojangles.
If I bake a cake I'll eat it.
Friday, September 03, 2010
my sunday
So last night daughters best friend spent the night.
We had Subway sandwiches at the coffee table. I made them put their phones away. I wanted them looking at each other rather than at their phones while they talked with each other.
I also asked them to watch "The Big C" with me.
They didn't "get it" but they did like the character that the mom puts on a diet. (I can't remember her name.)
Boyfriend's still in Colorado.
I just spoke to him. He was at Columbine looking at the wall/memorial that sits behind the school. I could hear the sadness in his voice. It made my heart hurt thinking about it.
I love Mr. Bojangles BUT HE'S A LITTLE PAIN IN THE ASS.
I drink from a straw almost all the time. My front bottom tooth is capped. I was hit in the mouth in high school during a snow ball fight and my tooth was broken. Even after all these years it's sensitive. Thus the straw..........................Mr. Bojangles new trick is to jump on the table, grab the straw from my drink, take it to the kitchen and put it by his food bowls. I wouldn't mind it except that he usually knocks over my drink in the process. :O) lil shit.
Daughter went to the school counselor today.
She has intense anxiety about going to school. This has been an ongoing problem. She insists she has a learning disability and that she's dumb. (She's intelligent and has never been told otherwise by me or anyone else as far as I know.) Her anxiety increases each day she gets closer to graduation. She's scared to death she won't be able to succeed in college......she wants to go..........but.................just talking about it brings her to tears....... it came up last night during our dinner at the coffee table.....she immediately began to cry overwhelmed by fear..........insists she's not going to a university..........but says she will go to a technical school. It feels less threatening to her. She has my blessing either way....... Even so, her anxiety is interfering with her life.
Last night I encouraged her to lets go to therapy. Or her go to therapy alone. She suggested that she go to the school counselor.............................and she did today. She tells me he thinks she needs anti anxiety medication.......and that he plans on calling me Tuesday.
I feel sad for her....................it's awful though to see your child struggling and to not understand why it's happening.........
We had Subway sandwiches at the coffee table. I made them put their phones away. I wanted them looking at each other rather than at their phones while they talked with each other.
I also asked them to watch "The Big C" with me.
They didn't "get it" but they did like the character that the mom puts on a diet. (I can't remember her name.)
Boyfriend's still in Colorado.
I just spoke to him. He was at Columbine looking at the wall/memorial that sits behind the school. I could hear the sadness in his voice. It made my heart hurt thinking about it.
I love Mr. Bojangles BUT HE'S A LITTLE PAIN IN THE ASS.
I drink from a straw almost all the time. My front bottom tooth is capped. I was hit in the mouth in high school during a snow ball fight and my tooth was broken. Even after all these years it's sensitive. Thus the straw..........................Mr. Bojangles new trick is to jump on the table, grab the straw from my drink, take it to the kitchen and put it by his food bowls. I wouldn't mind it except that he usually knocks over my drink in the process. :O) lil shit.
Daughter went to the school counselor today.
She has intense anxiety about going to school. This has been an ongoing problem. She insists she has a learning disability and that she's dumb. (She's intelligent and has never been told otherwise by me or anyone else as far as I know.) Her anxiety increases each day she gets closer to graduation. She's scared to death she won't be able to succeed in college......she wants to go..........but.................just talking about it brings her to tears....... it came up last night during our dinner at the coffee table.....she immediately began to cry overwhelmed by fear..........insists she's not going to a university..........but says she will go to a technical school. It feels less threatening to her. She has my blessing either way....... Even so, her anxiety is interfering with her life.
Last night I encouraged her to lets go to therapy. Or her go to therapy alone. She suggested that she go to the school counselor.............................and she did today. She tells me he thinks she needs anti anxiety medication.......and that he plans on calling me Tuesday.
I feel sad for her....................it's awful though to see your child struggling and to not understand why it's happening.........
Thursday, September 02, 2010
thursday
So after sister bear got home from school yesterday and helped me carry in and put away the groceries we went to my parents house. They had the prettiest daisies at the grocery........it's my moms favorite flower......I got her a bunch....huge, beautiful, yellow daisies.......Sis and I took them to her and we chit chatted with mom and dad for awhile.......after we left my mom and dads we went out for a quick dinner and then looked at 3 condos in 3 different cities. We both agree on the one we'd most like to live in........but 2 and 3 are close behind and may pass number 1 after we see the insides.........and I have to tell you that it really is a buyers market........I'll probably not sell until daughter graduates high school.........but it doesn't hurt to know what's out there........and what it's selling for........
Middle son stopped in today. He wants to move back home. Right now he's living with his father who wants him to start paying rent equal to the child support he pays to me. Middle son works full time and goes to school. He's paid his own tuition this past year and has paid off the small student loan from his first year. He's more than welcome to live here for free as long as he's continuing his college education.
( His dad can kick rocks!)
So he told his father he was moving out in 30 days. He may or may not move back home........him and his brother are tossing around the idea of buying a house, or condo..........actually I went with him today to look at a condo (foreclosure) he found listed in the paper..............it had mouse droppings, orange water, and rusted toilets............and the neighbor who spied us from her window and eventually came out to talk to us, was higher than a kite and had Extrapyramidal Symptoms. She reeked of drama.
Other than those things I really liked the place...........&...................financially, even with the mouse droppings, it was a steal.
Middle son stopped in today. He wants to move back home. Right now he's living with his father who wants him to start paying rent equal to the child support he pays to me. Middle son works full time and goes to school. He's paid his own tuition this past year and has paid off the small student loan from his first year. He's more than welcome to live here for free as long as he's continuing his college education.
( His dad can kick rocks!)
So he told his father he was moving out in 30 days. He may or may not move back home........him and his brother are tossing around the idea of buying a house, or condo..........actually I went with him today to look at a condo (foreclosure) he found listed in the paper..............it had mouse droppings, orange water, and rusted toilets............and the neighbor who spied us from her window and eventually came out to talk to us, was higher than a kite and had Extrapyramidal Symptoms. She reeked of drama.
Other than those things I really liked the place...........&...................financially, even with the mouse droppings, it was a steal.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
my off day
Daughter woke me this morning with a kiss good-bye before she left for school. :O) I stayed in bed though and slept until boyfriend called me a couple hours later.
We talked for a bit and then I got my butt out of bed.
I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors, and cleaned both of those rooms from top to bottom...............and I dusted the living room. That's it. The rest of the cleaning is left undone. I'll do it another time.
And unless I want strawberries or Cheerios for supper I need to go to the grocery. That's my big day........that and maybe 2 loads of laundry!
We talked for a bit and then I got my butt out of bed.
I mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors, and cleaned both of those rooms from top to bottom...............and I dusted the living room. That's it. The rest of the cleaning is left undone. I'll do it another time.
And unless I want strawberries or Cheerios for supper I need to go to the grocery. That's my big day........that and maybe 2 loads of laundry!
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