monday

My mom passed away this morning.
She was at home in her bed............me,  my sisters, and our dad in bed or at her bedside with her.
All of us holding her hand.
I love her so much and miss her something terrible.....................still trying to wrap my head around it.

monday

I've been down and out with a resp. infection. Too tired to respond,or write, or anything.

monday

A horrible cramp in my foot woke me early this morning. I walked until it went away. There's always something it seems to interrupt my sleep. Fuck me.

I'm going to mom and dads house today to help mom with last minute Christmas preparations. There shouldn't be much left to do...........................................and I want to check on dad. He's down with bronchitis. Hopefully he's feeling better.

All the gifts are wrapped and under the tree........except for We-Ping and Mr Bojangles gifts. They're still in the trunk of the car.

I'll invite mom to come back to my house with me. I can do some of my baking while she's here and visit with her at the same time. I doubt that she'll come though............it's such a daunting task for her climbing the steps  to my house............depends are how she is feeling. Maybe I'll take my stuff to moms and do my baking there.............

Sons and daughter are coming over tomorrow night to have dinner with me and boyfriend. After dinner we will open gifts and then play some poker. I'm looking forward to having them all here. On Christmas day we will  meet at my mom and dads house as will my sisters and their families. I'm looking forward to seeing most of my family.

Did I mention i'm off work for the next 2 weeks? Yay!

friday

I had my routine physical today.
My blood pressure was perfect.
The doctor gave me a stronger anti inflammatory
for my back/shoulder and showed me some exercises to stretch the muscle.
I'm looking forward to not hurting.

I spent all dayw ith mom yesterday. I ran errands for her. She'd wait in the car while I ran into wherever she needed me to go...................she came in to some of the places with me...............you're right though, Billy.............................she's tired........................and I think she's tired of being short of breath and tired........
It's quite sad.....heart breaking really......

I'm just trying to make it through the weekend so I can start my vacation.
Mom told me yesterday she needs to see her mom.
So when I'm on vacation I'll take her to see her mom.........

sunday

Busy with work and helping to take care of  mom..................busy with holiday preparations..........................thinking about getting involved again with community theatre .....when I have the time.............if I haven't lost my nerve to do it......................................................................................
Boyfriend, We-Ping, and Mr. Bojangles are in bed watching TV.

I just got back from sisters house...............................took her the birthday present I got her.............chit chatted with her and one of my other sisters for awhile........it was fun.........cleaned moms house, did her laundry, and put up the rest of her Christmas decorations today.Daughter and one of her girlfriends helped me.

thursday

It's been crazy busy for several weeks. I crash hard at the end of the day.

My back gutter is leaking between the gutter and the house.
I called the company who put on my new roof, gutters, and down spouts. He's coming out again today. He said he came a couple days ago and couldn't find a problem....................so he called today and I explained to him there's mold on the outside brick, and the paint on the kitchen wall that's just behind the moldy brick, is bubbling................................luckily it's raining........................he will  see the water leaking behind the gutter..............................the gutter is not clogged.        I just want the problem fixed before more damage is done.

Mom isn't doing so well.
Me and 2 of my sisters took her to the doctor day before yesterday.........we had many questions........and a few suggestions...............................the visit went well in that our questions were answered and doctor agreed with our suggestions and had a couple of his own................so all of that has been set into action...........................if it turns out that none of this benefits moms well being then we have 1 more thing planned.............................and from there we continue to love her, spend as much time with her as possible, and help to keep her comfortable................................................2 of my sisters haven't been involved in helping to care for mom for whatever reason.............................................if they only knew what a wonderful experience it has been...........and how grateful I feel for all of this time with mom...............................and how much fun mom, me, dad and my two other sisters have had in spite of her illness....................................................they are missing out on a truly awesome opportunity.

wed.

So I cleaned and cut the veggies for the veggie tray............made the fruit salad, baked the pumpkin pies, and made some pumpkin bread to send home with everyone. The ham is cooked............and the table is set.......................I'll bake the turkey and make the dressing tomorrow...............I'm looking forward to spending time with my sons, daughter, and my parents!

I'm on the couch with Mr. Bojangles watching The Diary Of A Mad Black Woman. It's kind of corny but I like it just the same...&...Medea cracks me up.

tuesday

So last week dad was in his garage scrapping rust off the legs of a table he got out of someones garbage. It was a pretty iron table with a tile top. I commented on how pretty I thought it was, and how it would last forever.I get home that evening and the table was in my driveway with a cute little birdhouse on top of it........and a note from dad telling me to enjoy the table. Now I love it even more........it will be perfect on my deck!

I didn't clean my house yesterday. i jsut didn't have it in me......................I paid daughter and one of her friends to do it for me...........I left while they cleaned...........enjoyed an afternoon and early evening out with boyfriend.......................came home to a clean house...........they even put up the Christmas tree. Yay! It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!
.....and they did a pretty good job........

Mom went to the doctor yesterday.
She has a urinary tract infection.
Hopefully she will be doing better in a day or two.

Mom and dad are coming to my house for Thanksgiving.
They've never been here for Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to having them here.........
.............making a ham and turkey.......mom insisted on
a ham...&........she said "no boxed dressing." i agreed............................but it's what I'm making.........I doctor it though.........add sauteed onions and celery.........and a little bacon...................she will never know! :O)

Let the kitties out this morning................. surprised to see.everything is covered with snow! It looks beautiful!

monday

I'm on vacation. Yay!
I will probably turn my cell phone off
while on vacation so work can't bother me. :O)

Mom has been sick.
Most of my time off is spent with
her.
When she's sick she gets a little confused........since her car wreck this past June,
she's been obsessing a little about a rat in her house. When she has an infection her obsession gets worse......and she has delirium through the night.
I've checked every corner of her house looking for rat poop. None.
We've set traps........no rat. She has potatoes and onions on the floor of her pantry........ a rat would probably munch on them.........but no signs of a rat!
She bought rat poison.
I snuck it out of her house and put it in my trunk.
So for the last week she's had delirium and the rat thing..........probably has a urinary tract infection..........dad is taking her to the doctor today...................hopefully a simple antibiotic will take care of the problem!

I took her to lunch the other day. Sister went with us.
I mentioned her car wreck.
Mom: " I didn't wreck. I felt myself falling asleep so I pulled over."
Me: " Yes. You crossed over two lanes of oncoming traffic, drove down a 10 foot embankment, and parked the car in a fence."
She laughed.....................................................

So Igot allofmoms laundry done.......and put her Christmas tree up...........................today I need to clean my house, get my tree up, nd run to the grocery............

hi billy.u cracked me up on prof. comments

A couple nice paintings........

Mom and dads buffet.........knots in the wood............looks like an alien......or a face of some sort...

 

I've been busy...................................things will calmdown soon I hope.........work tomorrow then off 4  week....Yay!

wed.

  I can't     seem to shake this cold......and my lips are chapped........and my nose is irritated and raw from blowing..........

My vacation starts Monday.......7 days off...............looking forward to it more than anything!.........................and I'm taking another one, a longer one in December..............looking forward to it more than anything!

Friday part 3

It was a great day........beautiful, sunny, and crisp outside..............

Cleaned up the basement junk room a bit.............organized my paints and paint brushes...........

While sitting at the dining room table sorting through mail, I heard daughter who was upstairs getting dressed for work, singing along with the radio.......................she sounded so sweet and young....................made me smile.

friday part 2

friday

It's chilly outside, but sunny. It's a good day to be outside.
I think we're going to rake leaves
and I have a little house work to do.........
mostly though I want to work on a painting
and finish work on a little group of Christmas trees
daughter and I began putting together last night. They're cute!

I Christmas shopped most of yesterday. Everything is still
in the trunk of the car...........I 'm a little burned out on shopping!

When I woke up this morning I had a pounding headache.
I took a couple Advil and I'm drinking caffeine in hopes
that it goes away sooner than later....................then I can get on with my
day!

thursday

lol

wed

Went shopping today and out to lunch with daughter and my mom.
We had a nice time.
Mom bought new sneakers to wear to the gym. :O) They're cute.

saturday

I ended up getting the vacation time that I thought had been denied. Yay!

Went shopping and out to lunch with my older sister today..........we had fun.........
Daughter has friends over tonight for a bonfire. A couple months ago her boyfriend of 1 year told her
he was going to Lexington for the weekend to visit friends. While he was gone she went to his apartment to get her phone charger. He was there and in bed with a girl. Daughter hasn't seen or talked to him since that day.
She just came down the stairs from her bedroom with the clothes he left in her car.......a couple jackets, some sweat shirts, and a hat. They're going in the bon fire. .........I don't blame her!

friday

I stopped at Hobby Lobby on my way home from work.
I buy a few ornaments each year that I will give to daughter when she gets her own place.
I found some pretty heart ornaments tonight to add to the collection.

Work was crazy today.We started a new computer program with no training/in servicing. It's a giant cluster fuck of a mess!

One of the doctors my sister works for told her to tell me to take iron for the restless leg thing that kept me from getting a good nights sleep for well over a year. So I've been taking a multi vitamin with iron daily for a couple months. At the risk of sounding dramatic, it has changed my life. The restless leg thing is gone..........so is my craving for ice. I sleep like a baby most nights...............and when I do have trouble sleeping, which isn't very often, it isn't because of my legs.

I had a dream about my mom the other night.
In the dream I stopped by her house to see how she was doing. She was wearing a beautiful violet colored evening gown......just barely off the shoulders........with a little bit of cleavage showing. (when I was a younger girl I always thought mom had a beautiful cleavage.) And her face was the same as when she was 30 or 40 years old.......very pretty......her hair was dark again and up in a beehive type do..........she was all smiles...............and showing off to me her chiseled jaw line. She was so happy and joyful.........and I felt so happy................................then dad walked in....................he was dressed up in a orange suit with a multi colored tie........it had alll the fall colors in it................the outfit sounds hideous..............but he looked so handsome and healthy.........theywere celebrating......... I had to stop mom from swinging on a cord that was hanging from the ceiling..............Then I reminded myself that she wasn't sick anymore..........and if she wants to swing she should swing...................and then I woke................it was a good dream........silly but good!

tuesday

I'm headed to mom's. She has carpet cleaners coming and needs my help...........and I think she wants to go shopping when the carpet cleaners finish. My house is a mess. I think I'm learning to live with it.

I put a vacation request in for November. I even replaced myself but the time off was  denied. I'm a little bummed.

friday

Dad found this little house that's for sale. It's 138 years old............sits on one and a half acres that's pretty close to the city.............totally private and quiet................................reminded me of a tuscany villa. I love it even though it needs lots of TLC.

wed.

Boyfriend came home from the hospital yesterday.
He went because his tongue was grossly swollen and extremely painful.
He busted a vessel in the tongue while coughing......it bled inside and swelled.
Neither of the 3 doctors who checked him had ever seen such a thing before...................he had very little open airway so they admitted him to the ICU.........................................eventually his tongue split and the pocket of blood drained........I"m happy he is well again....................................................................and that he's out of that freaking hospital.

We went to Walmart tonight for garbage bags and I wanted to buy some old fashioned Christmas tree lights. I had to use the bathroom while there...................................it  was so disgustingly filthy.........................and non of the water faucets in the bathroom worked. The employees cant be washing their hands after using the restroom. Gross. I will not shop there again.............and I'm calling the health department tomorrow.

saturday

It's raining  and cold here.
I meant to put my tent up out back for a day just like this...........thought about doing it last night
but didn't.  I wish I would have.

Mr. Bojangles is on the dining room table sleeping. It's next to a window. I think he  likes the sound of rain.
I just let We-Ping in the front door. He walked through the living room, up the hallway, through the kitchen to the back door. I opened it and let him back out. He does the same thing several times a day. Cracks me up.

monday

:O)

wed

I'm off work the next 3 days. Yay!
I stopped over mom and dad's house on my way home from work
last night.
Mom was up beat and a little chatter box.
She started physical therapy Monday.........had lots of
positive things to say about it and about the physical therapist.

I've been trying to put together a cookbook of my moms recipes
mixed with little tid bits of information about mom. I thought we'd give it to sisters and grand children for Christmas. So I've been collecting recipes (she has none of them written down) from mom.
It's like pulling teeth.........but in a fun sort of way.
"I hate to cook." "I hate food." That's what she said. lol..........pissed me off cause I really want to do this.........
So I told her I'd make sure to start the book with those 2 quotes. She laughed.

Older sister asked me to paint her a picture for Christmas....................she wants it to include her and her husband.......her son,daughter,their 2 dogs and their cat.
She's the sister who bought our childhood home when mom and dad had a new home built.
Anyway..........I already know the scene I'm going to paint that includes her family...............I think it's going to be cute. (fuck you, Billy :O))

sunday

So yesterday morning I got my caramel latte then drove to a full service car wash. I sat outside on a wall and drank my latte while 2 men washed the inside and outside of my car.......it needed to be done.............it was worth the 20 bucks, this one time, to have someone else do it for me.

I spent the rest of the day shopping.
I needed new winter shoes and I wanted a new purse.
I got both..........love the shoes........the purse might be too small.........I'll try it for awhile though.

I hate work right now.
Its a hostile environment...................................it's miserable. When I wake on the mornings that I have to go there I feel dread and anxiety.
When I'm there I try to keep a low profile, and I stay busy in hopes that my 12 hours will fly by.

We had severe thunder storms and heavy rain last night. It was pretty awesome.
Mr. Bojangles hid under my bed. It reminded me of middle son. When he was a child and it would storm, he'd bury his self under the blankets.He hated the thunder. The storm last night reminded me of him.........and it made me miss the little boy he used to be. So I text him to say hello and to tell him I love him.

saturday

Work sent me a text at 4:30am the other morning asking if I'd work Oct 31.I didn't get to bed that night until midnight. I had to work that morning. Sleeping until 5:30  would have been great . Why would they text me that early? I wanted to throw the phone against the wall.

I went to moms house last night after work.
She's doing much better I think......a dramatic change actually from just days prior.
I told her I probably wouldn't come over today........that I would call to check on her.
I'm looking forward to some leisure time.

Right now I'm craving a carmel mocha from McDonald's.
I don't know why but I am. I gave up caffeine a couple months ago...........and I've never been a coffee drinker. .................I'm going to shower and go get one.......

......I don't really want to hang out with boyfriend today.
I resent him and daughter right now.
Neither one of them pulls their weight around here.............................they both seem perfectly content to allow me to do most of what needs to be done.........not that I'm getting it done!
I feel overwhelmed some of the time.
I need more hours in a day.................or a little help from the two of them.

tuesday

Went out to breakfast with boyfriend then went to mom and dad's house.
i helped mom with a bath and shampoo..........and exfoliated her back...............put dinner in a crock pot for her and dad............................and made sure she ate a little lunch................................................went shopping with boyfriend after we left mom and dad's...........................i splurged and bought myself some nice perfume..............they gave me some pretty nail polish and nice hair spray with my perfume purchase. it made me happy.
got home from shopping and threw in a load of laundry..........................gonna go do my walking and call it a night!
dad told a couple pretty good jokes today. i wish i could remember them..........

monday

Today is my off day.
If dad takes moms out I'll work on some paintings
and go to her house this afternoon.
If they stay home I'll go to their house this morning
and help mom bathe and wash her hair...........and she mentioned last night
she'd like to make dad a roast. So we will make a roast.
Last night when I got off work I went to mom and dad's house.
I had talked to mom from work.
She wanted stuff to make potato soup.
I text sister and asked her to get stuff for potato soup. She gets off work several hours before I do and was going to moms after a meeting............or maybe she was off work yesterday. I don't know.....
So at 9 pm last night me and 2 of my sisters cooked potato soup in moms kitchen.
Mom instructed us and entertained us as we cooked.
The soup was delicious........and mom was funny.
 Sisters left and
I tucked mom in for the night.........
When she drifts off to sleep she calls out for her deceased grandmother,grandfather, and aunt. She's been doing it for weeks.
The other night she was trying to remember the name of a particular poem.........sister was trying to help her remember............................mom said " I just read it at my funeral." So I don't know. Maybe it's a poem she wants read at her funeral. When I'm with her today I'll try to figure it out.

saturday

lots going on that i don't feel right writing about on here.................................


people are insensitive jerks a lot of the time.................you have to be some kind of stupid to say some of the things i've heard people say....................................stupid or mean..............or both.


the dexter finale sucked big time.


i'm waiting for mr bojangles to fall asleep so i can put flea medicine on him.


i think my work friend is using drugs.
she falls asleep at the desk several times a day.........her glasses fall down her face and her chin is practically on her chest..........................i used to wake her so she wouldn't get in trouble.................not any more.

wed

I spent all day with mom and dad........and several other family members stopped in to see mom. She's back home........
It was a wonderful day.
It was just a wonderful day.  :O)
I always knew my dad was a funny man. I didn't know my mom was..........she's hysterical..............I don't remember from my childhood her being funny...........she is though.......and she's a sweetheart.

sunday

For the most part of the last month I've either been at work or at moms.
She's not doing well.
Today she was admitted to the hospital.
I feel relieved. I spent the morning and afternoon at the hospital with
her. Then I came home.
I'm running low on steam.
I just called her and told her I love her and good night.
My sister is spending the night with her at the hospital. I'm so grateful she is.........and I'm
glad dad can go home and get a good nites sleep. He needs it.

When Icame home from the hospital I finished a painting I've been working on. I'm happy with it.

I need to lower the picture and level it.

 Took a ride the other day. Tobacco field.......and then a picture of it drying in the barn,.......and of course cows.........because I like them..............they're so calm.......and cute.

A painting I/m working on.........me sun bathing..........We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles with me.

 

I'm going to do my walking and then see if Dexter is on tonight...................after that I'm crashing!

monday

We were short staffed last night at work. It was freaking busy........is it weird that I like it that way some of the time? I like it that way as long as it isn't that way day after day.

One of the doctors at work brought some jalapeno peppers from her garden to me.
I'm going to make some green chili! Boyfriend loves it.

The weather here has been cool and sunny. It's positively beautiful.
I love this time of year.

I woke up in a funk this morning.
I felt overwhelmed by all the things I should do and all the
things I needed to do.........
But instead of doing anything I went back to bed. I was like "fuck it. i'm going back to bed."
When I finally got out of bed I went to the grocery store.
I bought myself some daisies and gave myself the rest of the day off
without guilt.

I'm still miserable.

friday

We took a drive today to look at farm land/acreage. It was nice to get out of town. I can always breathe a little easier when we go for rides in the country................except boyfriend starts talking with a country twang. lol......drives me nuts.

Stopped in to see mom on our way home and cooked a little dinner for her and dad.
Dad takes mom out 6 days a week.........usually from morning to afternoon....................they were napping when we got there..............had been out most of the day.....................................I'm glad they get out of the house everyday.

I just threw my scrubs in the wash. I'll dry them in the morning when I get up for work........packed my lunch already.........pineapples........pear......cottage cheese....and sunflower seeds........................sitting on the couch with Mr. Bojangles. We_Ping is in the bedroom with boyfriend.

I want to buy a lemon tree.But right now I'm going to go to bed.

tuesday

Boyfriend passed out saturday morning. he hit his head on the toilet on his way down to the floor........bled all over........when i heard him hit the floor i was certain he stroked or had a cardiac arrest......he didn't...........so he's been in the hospital until this late afternoon.

the priest at the hospital visited boyfriend. boyfriend is catholic. i thought of you billy when the priest came in the room. it made me laugh a little.

so i spent the weekend running between the hospital and moms house.
i admit i was stressed. i felt torn between the two places............................felt like i was failing both mom and boyfriend. i think i might have snapped at mom. she says i didn't. before i left her house she pulled me in and gave me a huge tight hug......................it made my heart ache......... the next morning i raised my voice at boyfriends nurse, and his doctor..............it was terrible feeling the way i felt.............................i felt like my insides were tied up in a knot..................

friday night after work i went to mom and dads house. dad was going to a football game....................mom didn't want to be alone. my sister was there too.........................................so we sat with mom. we talked about swag, the urban dictionary, the lady in wal mart and about a transvestite and the relationship we imagined he has with his penis. i've never seen my mom laugh so hard. it was cute.

thursday

Moms not doing well.
She looks like poo, and feels even worse.
I spent time with her last night after work.......and was over there for several hours today, after my nurses meeting, convincing mom to take her antibiotic.
I want to take tomorrow off work to be with her.
I thought taking the family medical leave would make it easier to miss work to be with her.....................it doesn't. I'm still afraid to take days off...........and I still feel torn between my responsibilities.....................
Sister just text me and said mom snuck and flushed her antibiotics. I wanted to scream, and then cry.................until I thought about it and knew her and mom were playing...............................and they were playing....................................sister said mom is feeling a little better......................................................then they text me and said I was adopted. I responded "thank God!"

I'm going to bed.
Good night, Billy.

Monday

We got the basement room painted and we stained 2 sets of doors. We have a little bit of trim to hang........and I have to do something with the floor. My goal was to not spend a dime on the basement room. I have enough left over primer, paint, furniture  , and carpeting aroung here that I can clean that room up and furnish it without spending money. It doesn't have to be beautiful..........just clean and functional.................................................it's almost there!

Time Warner and CBs worked out whatever issue they were having.........................so my Showtime is back on.......................which means I can finish watching the rest of this last season of Dexter! It's the best season of Dexter in the past couple years IMHO.......
I ordered a pizza. So I'm going to sit on the couch with Mr. Bojangles, eat pizza, and watch Dexter.

Welcome back, Billy!

monday

Mr. Bojangles woke me this morning. He stood on the table next to my bed meowing until I got up to feed him...................and then he did the same until I let him outside.
I don't need an alarm clock. He pretty much does the same thing every morning at 4:30 or 5. Some of the time he stands on my chest instead of the table, stares down at my face and meows until Iget up to do whatever it is he wants me to do. I love that little fucker but today I wish he would have left me alone. I really wanted to sleep in.......

The garbage pickers took most of the stuff I cleaned out of my basement from my driveway last night. I'm glad someone can use it.

We're going to paint the basement room today.
I'm anxious to get it done!

cleaning house

We spent 6 hours today cleaning the basement.
I threw away so much crap.
Most of it is in my driveway which now
looks like a junk yard.
We also knocked down a wall
in the basement. It closed the room off. I didn't like it!
I had a huge desk in the basement.
I don't  know how it got in there. We had to saw it in half to
get it out. It was a big, old, dirty thing. I'm glad it's gone!
All that's left to do
is wash the basement floors, wash the walls, put up some trim and spray for spiders.
Then we'll paint it.
I think the hardest part of the job is  finished! Yay!

wed.

Daughter turned 21. It was just the two of us to celebrate............at least until later when big brother took her to a Cincinnati Reds game..........and then even later when she celebrated with friends.............................and a couple days later when oldest brother took her out...............................and to a concert ( gift from her dad) tonight with friends. She asked that I take her out for lobster and crab legs...................so I did...........I wish I had planned something a little more exciting..............................but I didn't............because time can be a bitch .........but still we had a really nice time.

They told her if she could find the cherry our meal was on the house.....................

She loves cheetah print.I tried my best to make a cheetah print cake. She loved it. When we got home from the lobster place the little kids up the street had our porch decorated with streamer and pictures they drew for daughter for her birthday. It was cute.

 I don't think she was thrilled by the compact I gave to her....even though she pretended to be..........I think she'll appreciate it more when she's in her 40's! It was a nice day for both of us.

I bought an owl to go with my other owl. I thought it was cute. I also bought canvas and  paints.

 

Boyfriend is home from Colorado. Today is the first day we've been able to spend time together. It was a good day.

 

Billy I took mom out for lunch this past weekend. I asked her if she wanted to go to Hooters. :O)

She said no! Dad drags her there for the chicken wings!

 

 

monday

My little man..........he's so cute to me!

monday

While at work yesterday, busy doing paper work, I looked up and there was oldest son and
daughter. They brought me some beautiful pink tulips and some chocolates...........just because!
It was a totally unexpected surprise that brightened my day.

They delivered the siding for my house this past Friday.
I think they're coming today to put it up. Yay!

My house is a mess. All the furniture had to be pushed to the middle of the
rooms to make room for the window guys to put the windows in.........................I was all ready Friday
to clean the house and put the furniture back when mom called.
She asked if I'd mind taking her to the beauty shop so she could get her hair cut.
I took her to have her hair done, and then to do a little shopping. I'm grateful for the time I get to spend with her.

I'm going to try to get my house straightened up today.  I have a feeling mom
is going to need to be transfused in the next day or two. I want the house cleaned up incase i'm at the hospital for several days........
She's feeling pretty bad right now.......

Daughters 21 birthday is tomorrow.
She asked for an eye exam and new glasses.
We got the eye exam........just need to order the glasses.......................I also got her a sterling silver compact with a 21 st birthday wish engraved on the front and a picture of her grandmas favorite flower ( a daisy) engraved on the back. It turned out beautiful. I think she'll like it.

friday

They put in my new windows yesterday. I had all of them replaced.
They look beautiful !
They're supposed to drop off the siding today and
put it up Monday. I can't wait to see how it looks!

Old gross window.

Pretty, new, window!

Fat cat on a diet. She's never had a litter but looks like she's had several.

wed

Went to moms this morning.
She sounded a little down when I talked to her
last night.
So I went to see her this morning. I think she is a little down but her mood
improved as the morning went on...........chronic illness can suck away at the soul......
most of the time she seems to handle it well.........turning a year older probably didn't
help her any.........

When I got home from moms I cut my grass and watered my plants..............for the most part I've let my yard go to hell since moms car wreck. I just haven't had the time or energy to deal with it............but that's OK............I'll get out there before fall and do what needs to be done.

I've had kitties on a diet since boyfriends been in Colorado. He over feeds them. They look better already!

saturday

I had planned on getting up early today and getting some cleaning done.......going to the grocery, baking mom a birthday cake, and then taking mom out to lunch. Dad was going to be at some tennis tournament. Mom asked me last week if I'd be able to be there quickly today in case she needed me for a medical emergency...............obviously she was feeling anxious about being alone today......................so I had planned on taking her out. I just didn't tell her. I think she thought we had plans cause she called early this morning and asked if I was ready yet to go out for breakfast. :O)
I said "NO! But I'm just about ready!" I was sleeping when she called!
So I went to breakfast with my mom................and then we went shopping...............and then to the grocery store.....................................................................................................I had a great time spending time with mom! Ithinkmom had fun too.
While helping her put away her groceries I got to see the white owl shes been talking about for weeks. He spends time in her backyard with his baby.
Except it's a hawk........not an owl..........he's huge..............mom loves that they come to her yard!

When I got home I wrapped moms birthday gift, and baked a BD cake for her.................and I ordered a gift for daughters 21st birthday.....................oldest son stopped by for a bit................................and that was about it for my day.......................

thursday

I took the day off from work yesterday so that I could spend time with mom doing whatever she needed or wanted me to do for her.
I got up really early and brought breakfast to her and dad.
Neither mom or  I had slept very well the night before so after eating, talking, and leaving food on the deck for her birds and squirrels,  we took a nap
together.
I woke to moms Internal defibrillator going off. It sounds like a police or ambulance siren.
I turned in bed to look at mom. She was awake and looking at me. We laid there listening to the siren sound
coming from her chest.
I asked her if she was okay. She said yes, and she seemed to be..............so we got up and carried on with our day.

Middle son and his girlfriend are leaving today for Florida. I'm going to make some chocolate chip cookies today for them to munch on during the drive.

We gutted and did the bathroom a few years ago. I hate it. It looks like crap. I plan on doing a little work in there before the holidays. Boyfriend said  he'd be willing to take out the tile in the shower and put new tile in for me............................and then I want to paint the room, put in new doors, and buy a buy a different mirror and light fixture.............................it sucks........but I don't want to hate the house I live in!

Boyfriend is in Colorado visiting family.
I miss him but I also enjoy the time away from him.

Moms birthday is in a few days.
She's hard to buy for. There's nothing she wants and has everything she needs.
Daisies are her favorite flower................maybe daughter and I will take her out to lunch AND get her some daisies. I don't know!

friday

I had a dinner today for middle son to celebrate his birthday. He'll be in Florida on his real birthday so we celebrated today. Oldest son, daughter, and boyfriend were also here............................boyfriend made his famous meatloaf per sons request......................and I made his favorite carrot cake.
The boys were silly,and funny as usual.............................................we had a nice time.............................and it's always great when I get to spend time with all  of my kids at the same time!

i'm going to bed early. i'm tired!

thursday

Ariel Castro is a human piece of shit........but stinkier and uglier.
When he addressed the court today
he blamed
1. the 3 victims
2. the victims families
3. his x wife
4. the press
5. the FBI     &
6. an addiction
for his having kidnapped 3 teens and then holding them captive for 11 years. He repeatedly raped and tortured them during those years.
I wish the judge would have told him to shut his fucking pie hole and sit the fuck down!

Middle sons birthday is tomorrow.
I baked him a cake today for his birthday dinner tomorrow.

I had an electrician come over today to talk to him about converting my fuse box over to a switch box.
The electrician is my nephew..................so he's going to save me lots of money.

wed

I cleaned mom and dads house today, and did moms laundry. Luckily when I got there this morning they were gone. I crossed my fingers that they'd be gone most of the day so that I could get into my cleaning zone and get it done......................they were there for the last hour that I cleaned..............so I got a lot done while they were gone.

Dad criticised me for getting the new windows and siding.
Dad gives great advise some of the time, and he's a smart guy, but he thinks there's only one way to
do things, and that's his way. If you don't do things the way he thinks they should be done, or if you do something that he doesn't think needs doing........then you're just wrong..................................and after your questioned by him in a manner that makes me feel like I'm being questioned by  a prosecuting attorney and I'm a hostile witness ,he criticises.   It's all very exhausting. Today I refused to participate and I won't participate anymore either.  It's sad really.

While vacuuming moms living room I hit my baby toe on the couch leg. It's purple, swollen, and hurts like a mother ficker!

If you like garlic and if you like green olives, try the garlic stuffed green olives. They are delicious.

I put in a vacation request for November and another one in December. I'm not sure I can wait that long!

sunday

nothing new going on here................
. i got collars for the kitties. it has our phone number on them. i got a pretty blue one for we-ping because it matches her eyes and i got a bright pink one for mr. bojangles because it looks pretty against his black coat.

i wish i liked wine. when i see people on tv drinking wine from a wine glass they look sophisticated i think........and the wine always looks so good.
i hate wine. i hate the taste of most alcoholic beverages.

saturday

Middle son adopted a kitty from the animal shelter.
His name is Ty. I haven't met him yet. I hear he's a cute little fellow.

 I haven't done one constructive thing today.
Mostly I sat in a chair with Mr. Bojangles watching TV and napping.
I'll probably shower in a bit and head out with boyfriend for a drive...........maybe go to the store.

my neighbor stopped over yesterday to show me the video he took of an 8 point buck that was in my backyard that  morning. it was cool.

the weather here was beautiful yesterday.
boyfriend and i went to the little roadside hamburger stand. we sat at a picnic table and had lunch.
mom and dad pulled in while we were eating, and they joined us for lunch.
we sat together for several hours talking and enjoying the warm sunny day.

son had the inside of my car detailed  for me.
it looks awesome!

wed.

I took Mr. Bojangles and We-Ping to the vet yesterday. Both of them had to get shots, 3 each to be exact. We-Ping weighs 13 lbs. 6 ounces. Mr. Bojangles weighs 11 lbs 9 ounces.
 I gave both of them a cat nip toy after we left the vets office.  They did good.

I signed the papers yesterday to have 13 new windows put in my house and to have new siding hung. I talked the guy down $ 2080.00 from the original price he quoted me.

Happy 7th birthday, We-Ping! I love you!

thursday

I have to go to the bank, do a little shopping,and curl moms hair today.
If time allows I'll do some cleaning.

saturday

The George Zimmerman verdict = not guilty.
I've followed the trial and agree with the verdict even though when the story was
first in the news I thought Zimmerman was a snake in the grass. After watching the trial and listening to the facts and evidence I was hoping for a not guilty verdict. That being said,
I still feel sad for Travon and his family.

I went to mom and dads house this late afternoon. Mom wanted help with a bath. I sat on the deck talking to dad while the tub filled. I asked mom to come get me when she was ready to get in the tub. She didn't. She got in and out of the tub on her own and bathed without my help. I think she really just wanted me there for just in case..................Then she bragged to me a little about doing a load of laundry today.lol. She's so cute. I helped her to hang the laundry..........and I lotioned her legs and feet.
She looks great.
Her breathing is better than it's been in 10 years. She says it feels better than it has felt since her heart attack 10 years ago.......
Her mind is clear. She was terribly confused for several weeks after coming home from the hospital. I wasn't sure if  her confusion was permanent. It started improving a couple of weeks ago but I still wasn't sure it would clear all the way. A few days ago I  started to notice a big difference....a big improvement..................................and it's such a relief. When she was first at home from the hospital she looked at me and said "I can't lose my mind Sandy. I've lost so much, I just can't lose my mind." She was pleading for help...........it was so sad.....devastating even......................all I could do was reassure her.........and convince her that I believed her memory problems and confusion was temporary........it felt like the right thing to do even though I wasn't sure it was the truth. I wanted her to have hope...................
today and the last few days she's back to normal. sharp as a whip! I am so grateful.........so happy!

saturday

The guy up the street stopped feeding his cat. He informed his children he'd no longer feed either of their two cats. His children told daughter. By the time his children told daughter this kitty was skin and bones. You can't tell from the picture. We've been feeding her. She a very sweet, loving cat. I call her Sara. The guy up the street is an abusive asshole towards his children,his wife,and now his pets.

This is Oreo.He lives next door.They call him Moo Moo. He doesn't bother any of the other cats. He's laid back, and friendly. He likes being in my yard. He's cool.

I love this little guy.He's the thoroughbred of all cats.   :O)

I found this on my floor this morning. It's WePings fur. It's a huge hunk. I'm guessing her and Mr. Bojangles fought last night.

The banana peppers keep coming. I'm loving it!

It's my weekend off work. Yay!
I'mnot sure what I will do.
I should clean my house. I should clean my moms house.
I don't want to do either of those things.

thursday

My off day this week is tucked between 2 double shifts.
Any day off is a good day but one day isn't enough time!

I bought a super soaker water gun.
The cat next door is a bully who is tormenting my cats.
My cats are living in fear. I'm sick of it!
So I bought the gun.
My neighbor said it was okay to shoot his cat when he comes in my yard. He thinks
his cat is crazy.

:O)

Big Train - Florence Nightingale - YouTube

sunday

I stopped by mom and dads on my way home from work.
Mom's doing much better.
She wants to drive.................she wants me to take her out so that she can practice driving.
I told her I think she needs more time to get even better and stronger. She's just not ready....don't know if she'll ever be.

Dad  got me a book from the library. It's "The Smart Guide To Understanding Your Cat." lol....cracks me up. I'm looking forward to reading it.

wed

I had a guy come out to give me an estimate on new windows and siding for my house. It was much higher than I had anticipated! I'll get one or two more estimates.

Bought some good stuff today to grill tomorrow. I'm not sure who will show up but i'm prepared!

The restless leg thing has only bothered me once in the past month. It's been great being able to get some sleep!

Hi Billy!

tuesday

I broke a tooth chewing ice. You can't see the tooth. It's towards the back of my mouth. But it split right down the middle. I knew better.

3 children from the neighborhood are on my porch right now........I got home from work at 10 pm ish........and there they are.......2nd night in a row. Their parents didn't pay their cable/internet provider........so they are on my porch connecting with my service .Cracks me up. I'm going to kick them out soon!

friday

i have cramps and i'm tired. :O)~
i'm always tired when i have cramps..... irritable too!
so while out with boyfriend for a while today i asked him to just take me home.
i wanted to take a nap.
so i did nap.....................................then grilled some chops and corn on the cob........
fuck me.
i hope tomorrow is better.

thursday

One of the part time nurses I work with told me she needed some extra hours of work. I offered her my Friday shift. She took it. So I have the next 4 days off. Yay!

Its been raining, thundering, and lightening here for 2 days.
I love it. It's relaxing.

I went to mom and dads after work last night.
I checked on moms medications, folded some laundry and did the dishes...........and then like most nights I sat next to her in bed and we chit chatted.

I'm going to do some painting today.
I want to paint a picture of my children standing side by side and holding hands while on Tiki Island looking out at the ocean. It's a clear snapshot in my mind from a life time ago................... it still makes me smile when I remember them standing there.

monday

There's not enough time in a day to do all the things I need and want to do. I feel overwhelmed some of the time!

friday

 

 

Went to look at some land yesterday. One place was 9 acres and the other was 20 acres. Neither is what I'm looking for.........................................I'll find the right place eventually!

 

The horse above was  standing behind the other horse. I got out of the car and called to him. He came right over to the fence to say hello. He doesn't look so sweet, but he is! He's adorable. I wanted to take him home with me.

wed

I went to the doctor this morning for a pretty routine appointment then went to mom and dads house.
The physical therapist was there (half an hour late) to work with mom.
I didn't like the tone of voice she used with mom or the content of what she said to mom. I set her straight.  I was calm and direct with her even though I wanted to scream.
After the therapist left I helped mom with a bath, and I shampooed her hair. I made sure to massage her scalp really good.......cause I knew she'd like it! While mom dressed I did a few chores  including a load of laundry. She finished dressing about the same time I completed my chores..... So we went out to lunch, and shopping. She hasn't been shopping in a little over 4 weeks. She loves to shop!
It was a great day. I enjoyed every minute of it.........I think mom did too.............I had her out for quite some time. She was exhausted by the end of the afternoon................................................ I was a little worried about her. I called her about an hour after I took her home. I wanted to make sure she was OK.  She was sitting in bed with my sister eating cheese crackers. :O)

My one tomato! I'm proud of that tomato!

I have 2 peppers growing!

My Sweet Basil, Parsley, Cilantro, Chives, and Oregano....

Some of my pretty flowers....:O)

saturday

I had words with drug addict sister.
I know she's sick. I feel compassion
for her.
I also feel resentment.
She's not a nice
person.
She's selfish. She's hateful. Her
words are weapons used to hurt others.
She's filled with self pity.
I love her..........and
I hate her.
Right now I don't care to ever
be a part of her life again.

wed.

I went to mom and dads house after work this evening.
Two of my sisters helped mom with her bath. She told me " it was a wonderful bath!"...............and that after the bath "your sisters buffed me with powder!." Cracked me up!


Mom hates taking pills. She gags on them.........always has......................when I'm there I help her throw away her Vitamin D. She doesn't want it but worries dad or sisters will get mad at her if she doesn't take it. I'm her partner in crime when it comes to the vitamin D. If she doesn't want the damn thing then its going in the toilet. I see the relief on her face when it's flushed.

I'm going to read a little then go to bed.

monday

I went to mom and dads house today.
I tucked mom in bed before I left and gave her a big hug and kiss
good night.
She hugged me tight and gave me a kiss.
It still feels good to be hugged and kissed by my mom.

Don't be jealous, Billy, but my tomato plant has its first tomato!
I just hope it isn't the one and only........I'll take a picture of it tomorrow!

I've been reading Under The Dome by Stephen King. It's good.

sunday

recent text messages received:

Daughter: Mr. Bojangles is acting out. I think he misses you!

Sister: Mom called the kidney doctor a lesbian.

Boyfriend: Little People.........Amy and Matt Roloff are splitting up.

Work friend: When did we get a 5th nurse?

Other sister: thank god!

Daughter: Mom, no. Lol and it's bitch don't kill my vibe.

saturday

While in the ER the day mom became ill and wrecked her car dad asked "why did they name it PMS?...................because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."
Cracked me up....and pissed me off. lol

Mr. Bojangles

Happy 3rd Birthday, little man!
I love you.

friday

I cleaned my house today.
It was long over due.
I also did all the laundry........there wasn't that much to do.
My house looks and smells good! Feels good to have it clean!

I made a crock pot full of cabbage, red potatoes, Italian sausage, onions, green peppers, and a little garlic for supper.
It was delicious.

Thursday

I renewed my drivers license today.
They didn't say anything about them being expired. Neither
did I.
I paid the 22 bucks to renew them and was on my way.......

I went to see mom today.
I love her.
She's a great mom......

I bought an I-Pod today.
Boyfriend is walking with me now...............he talks and complains.
I just want to walk and get lost in my own head.
I don't want to engage in conversation or listen to him complain.
I think the I-Pod will help.

monday

I forgot to re-new my drivers license.
It expired May 18. I can't believe I forgot.
I wonder if they give you any kind of grace period.

sunday

Mom came home from the hospital the day before yesterday.
She's weak.She's tired.
But she looked better yesterday
than she did the day before.


The past month has been exhausting................to say the least.......................  there IS a  lot more to say.............it's all kind of tied up in knot in my head and in my stomach...................................so I'll refrain from saying more for now.

I want to do something fun today even though my laundry is piled up and my house needs a good cleaning.
It's times like this that I wish I had a wife maid.

monday

last night is the first night i had a good nights sleep in over 2 weeks.
it felt awesome.
after i finish my cup of ice i'm going to shower then go to the hospital. i'm worried about mom.
i want to be there  to see her doctors.

i listened to the messages she left on my house phone after she wrecked yesterday. she called 3 times.
it was heart wrenching to listen to her plead for me to come help her.
i can't wait to give her a hug and tell her i love her.

sunday

My mom was driving today when she crossed the center line, went down an embankment, and came to a stop after she crashed into a gate surrounding tennis courts.
She couldn't get out of the car, and no one was around to help.
She called all of her daughters house phones, none of us were home.
She was confused. She did not call 911 or dad. After 30 or 40 minutes she saw a young couple and yelled to them for help.
They called 911 and stayed with mom until help arrived.
My nephew, the 13 year old with a lawn care business is also an honorary fireman.
He was at the station when they got the call and he responded to the scene. One of my oldest sisters heard the call go out over her scanner, was close by and had a feeling it was mom. So she got there as the EMT's were arriving......and another sister arrived as mom was being put on the gurney.
Mom thinks she passed out prior to going over the embankment......she's not sure.
We spent most of the afternoon and evening at the hospital.
Mom was admitted.
They're not sure what happened. Her cardiac enzymes are elevated..........she may have had a heart attack.........not sure yet. She said she had trouble lifting one of her legs today "it was sticking on the carpet."
She's had a definite change in cognition the past week or two.
She did not have a stroke.
Noy sure what'sgoing on......

tuesday

Mom has been weighing heavy on my heart and thoughts. She's so weak and short of breath. When I called her today she sounded like a scared little girl. It broke my heart.
I called my sisters and we went to mom and dads. We
Sat in the bedroom with mom talking and laughing.

I talked to dad for awhile before leaving.
He had lots of questions.
There's no easy way to answer some of the questions he asked. I wanted to protect him and at the same time I found myself feeling angry with him.
 Some of the time his need to control everything
interferes with other peoples needs wants and requests.........................................it's just hard.........the whole situation is difficult and sad.
I was honest with him in answering all of his questions.
I know he's hurting.I wish I could make all the hurt go away. I can't.
We'll deal with things............it will be ok.

A man knocked on my door today (the fucker woke me from me from a nap) asking if he could take
our old water heater. "Yes! Take it!"
I was relieved to have  it hauled away.

My teeth hurt from chewing ice.
I have to stop.

monday

i couldn't sleep last night. i had that  restless leg thing going on again. after several hours of trying to sleep i gave up. i got out of bed and took a hot shower. last time it helped. so i tried it again. i made it as hot as i could stand and stayed in the shower until the heat exhausted me.then i was able to fall asleep.
my water heater was busted this morning.
son and nephew put in a new one for me.
son worked some more in the yard today cutting down honeysuckle.
he found more treasures from the past. :O)

Jurassic Park toy.

Binoculars from the Cincinnati Zoo.

 Littleleaguebaseball and building block.

I went to mom's house after I left work last night.
I wanted to spend time with her on Mother's Day.
We laid together in her bed talking a little and watching Survivor.
She was very short of breath. Just talking winded her. It made me sad......my heart ached.
I rubbed lotion on her back, and then scratched her back until she fell asleep.

I grilled some city chicken on the grill today for boyfriend and oldest son.
It was delicious.

Rose bush son gave to me and then the 2 rose bushes I gave to myself. :O)

Ping keeping an eye on everyone.

We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles enjoying the warm sunny day.

Son working in the yard. (he's such a good person.)