monday

last night is the first night i had a good nights sleep in over 2 weeks.
it felt awesome.
after i finish my cup of ice i'm going to shower then go to the hospital. i'm worried about mom.
i want to be there  to see her doctors.

i listened to the messages she left on my house phone after she wrecked yesterday. she called 3 times.
it was heart wrenching to listen to her plead for me to come help her.
i can't wait to give her a hug and tell her i love her.

sunday

My mom was driving today when she crossed the center line, went down an embankment, and came to a stop after she crashed into a gate surrounding tennis courts.
She couldn't get out of the car, and no one was around to help.
She called all of her daughters house phones, none of us were home.
She was confused. She did not call 911 or dad. After 30 or 40 minutes she saw a young couple and yelled to them for help.
They called 911 and stayed with mom until help arrived.
My nephew, the 13 year old with a lawn care business is also an honorary fireman.
He was at the station when they got the call and he responded to the scene. One of my oldest sisters heard the call go out over her scanner, was close by and had a feeling it was mom. So she got there as the EMT's were arriving......and another sister arrived as mom was being put on the gurney.
Mom thinks she passed out prior to going over the embankment......she's not sure.
We spent most of the afternoon and evening at the hospital.
Mom was admitted.
They're not sure what happened. Her cardiac enzymes are elevated..........she may have had a heart attack.........not sure yet. She said she had trouble lifting one of her legs today "it was sticking on the carpet."
She's had a definite change in cognition the past week or two.
She did not have a stroke.
Noy sure what'sgoing on......

tuesday

Mom has been weighing heavy on my heart and thoughts. She's so weak and short of breath. When I called her today she sounded like a scared little girl. It broke my heart.
I called my sisters and we went to mom and dads. We
Sat in the bedroom with mom talking and laughing.

I talked to dad for awhile before leaving.
He had lots of questions.
There's no easy way to answer some of the questions he asked. I wanted to protect him and at the same time I found myself feeling angry with him.
 Some of the time his need to control everything
interferes with other peoples needs wants and requests.........................................it's just hard.........the whole situation is difficult and sad.
I was honest with him in answering all of his questions.
I know he's hurting.I wish I could make all the hurt go away. I can't.
We'll deal with things............it will be ok.

A man knocked on my door today (the fucker woke me from me from a nap) asking if he could take
our old water heater. "Yes! Take it!"
I was relieved to have  it hauled away.

My teeth hurt from chewing ice.
I have to stop.

monday

i couldn't sleep last night. i had that  restless leg thing going on again. after several hours of trying to sleep i gave up. i got out of bed and took a hot shower. last time it helped. so i tried it again. i made it as hot as i could stand and stayed in the shower until the heat exhausted me.then i was able to fall asleep.
my water heater was busted this morning.
son and nephew put in a new one for me.
son worked some more in the yard today cutting down honeysuckle.
he found more treasures from the past. :O)

Jurassic Park toy.

Binoculars from the Cincinnati Zoo.

 Littleleaguebaseball and building block.

I went to mom's house after I left work last night.
I wanted to spend time with her on Mother's Day.
We laid together in her bed talking a little and watching Survivor.
She was very short of breath. Just talking winded her. It made me sad......my heart ached.
I rubbed lotion on her back, and then scratched her back until she fell asleep.

I grilled some city chicken on the grill today for boyfriend and oldest son.
It was delicious.

Rose bush son gave to me and then the 2 rose bushes I gave to myself. :O)

Ping keeping an eye on everyone.

We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles enjoying the warm sunny day.

Son working in the yard. (he's such a good person.)

friday

While at work Monday boyfriend called me from the hospital to report he got busted trying to sneak off the unit to smoke a cigarette. He was wearing a heart monitor, so they knew he had left the unit. They chased him down and stopped him from going outside. So he calls me at work pissed at the nurses. I was on the other phone talking to his nurse. She was pissed at boyfriend. Boyfriend was demanding that they discharge him. Nurse was saying she had a call out to the doctor to get a discharge order. I was trying to  calm the both of them......both carrying on like big babies.............at the same time sister was texting me to tell me mom sounded short of breath.......................and I had a patients daughter down  the hallway crying because her mother was not doing well.
I wanted to escape........................to just run away, or curl up in the fetal position somewhere and cry.
Boyfriend asked me not to visit him at the hospital that night. So I didn't......I didn't visit the next night after work either. Big baby......
Mom was okay.
Patients daughter will be okay.
I brought boyfriend home from the hospital Wed.
I drove boyfriends car to the hospital to take him home. My car was out of gas and I didn't feel like stopping to fill up.
So on my way to the hospital some woman clipped my rear left bumper and then glided up my rear side panel. She didn't stop. She just kept driving. I followed her as I called 911. She tried to hide in a Walgreen's Pharmacy drive thru.......luckily she was trapped behind other cars.
I pulled up beside her and yelled "it's illegal to leave the scene of an accident!"  I was so pissed.....
When all was said and done the insurance people found that other woman was 100% at fault.........
and for now, everything at home is back to normal.
I spent all of yesterday working in the yard. Oldest son came over yesterday and continued work on the hill cutting down and burning Honeysuckle trees and bushes. It's starting to look good. He brought me a potted mini rose bush for Mother's Day. It's very pretty. Middle son stopped over last evening with mulch and potting soil. His gift to me for Mother's Day! So I planted 2 mini rose plants that I bought earlier in the day, and got my tomato plants and banana pepper plant planted.
I also planted some Day Lillies and  Hostas.
i HAVE A nurses meeting and luncheon at 1 pm today.
The rest of the day is mine to do as I please.

sunday

they moved boyfriend out of the icu and said he'd probably be allowed to come home in 2 or 3 days. his low heart rate caused acute renal failure but the nephrologist said his kidney function is almost back to normal.
he misses we-ping and mr bojangles.

i'm wiped out.
i'm going to bed. :O)

sunday

boyfriend called me at work friday to tellme he tripped on the deck steps taking groceries to the house from the car. he wAs concerned because he was having difficulty holding his head up. i told him to go to the er. he said he'd take a nap and see how he felt after the nap.
so i get home from work.
boyfriend is in bed.
he can't sit upright. he can't move his legs, and when he tries to move his arms he has severe tremors.
i sit him up and he falls over. he's alert and aware but cant use his arms or legs and he can't hold his head up. his heart rate is slow and irregular, and his blood pressure is low. i call 911 and he his taken to the hospital.
they admitted him to the intensive care unit with a critically high potassium level. his heart was in a dangerous rhythm from the high potassium. so they gave him medications to fix it,and medications to bring down his potassium.
he's doing much better, and hopefully he can come home in a day or two!

thursday

I've been working in the backyard cutting down and burning weeds.
I love when I do yard work and end up finding buried treasures from the past.
Here's what I found this time......

Daughters frying pan.....

Sons truck

 and sons sword

.
Makes my day when I find toys that my children used to play with.............especially when I remember the toy. :O)

Today I was sitting on the deck with boyfriend and daughter.
We had just finished measuring the yard for a pool. So we're sitting there talking about the pool when boyfriends facial expression changes and he begins speaking to me in a whisper. He tells me there is a man in the woods watching us. The woods connect to the back of our backyard. They're part of our property. I look through the trees and the weeds whne I see the guys white legs and red gym shoes, and then I  can see all of him just standing there looking.......and maybe even smoking. He's tall, slender, in his twenties maybe.........gave me goose bumps......................and then I was pissed off. Why in the fuck is this man in the woods behind my house, and on my property.........and how long has he been there?So I yell HELLO! But I was really asking "What the fuck are you doing in my yard?" He just stood there for several seconds after I yelled to him then He slowly turned and walked away...........WTF?
I'm worried because I don't have a curtain or blind in the kitchen window. The kitchen faces the woods..........so does daughters bedroom...........and i cant help but wonder how many times this guy has stood in our woods doing whatever it is he does.......