monday

Today is my off day.
If dad takes moms out I'll work on some paintings
and go to her house this afternoon.
If they stay home I'll go to their house this morning
and help mom bathe and wash her hair...........and she mentioned last night
she'd like to make dad a roast. So we will make a roast.
Last night when I got off work I went to mom and dad's house.
I had talked to mom from work.
She wanted stuff to make potato soup.
I text sister and asked her to get stuff for potato soup. She gets off work several hours before I do and was going to moms after a meeting............or maybe she was off work yesterday. I don't know.....
So at 9 pm last night me and 2 of my sisters cooked potato soup in moms kitchen.
Mom instructed us and entertained us as we cooked.
The soup was delicious........and mom was funny.
 Sisters left and
I tucked mom in for the night.........
When she drifts off to sleep she calls out for her deceased grandmother,grandfather, and aunt. She's been doing it for weeks.
The other night she was trying to remember the name of a particular poem.........sister was trying to help her remember............................mom said " I just read it at my funeral." So I don't know. Maybe it's a poem she wants read at her funeral. When I'm with her today I'll try to figure it out.

saturday

lots going on that i don't feel right writing about on here.................................


people are insensitive jerks a lot of the time.................you have to be some kind of stupid to say some of the things i've heard people say....................................stupid or mean..............or both.


the dexter finale sucked big time.


i'm waiting for mr bojangles to fall asleep so i can put flea medicine on him.


i think my work friend is using drugs.
she falls asleep at the desk several times a day.........her glasses fall down her face and her chin is practically on her chest..........................i used to wake her so she wouldn't get in trouble.................not any more.

wed

I spent all day with mom and dad........and several other family members stopped in to see mom. She's back home........
It was a wonderful day.
It was just a wonderful day.  :O)
I always knew my dad was a funny man. I didn't know my mom was..........she's hysterical..............I don't remember from my childhood her being funny...........she is though.......and she's a sweetheart.

sunday

For the most part of the last month I've either been at work or at moms.
She's not doing well.
Today she was admitted to the hospital.
I feel relieved. I spent the morning and afternoon at the hospital with
her. Then I came home.
I'm running low on steam.
I just called her and told her I love her and good night.
My sister is spending the night with her at the hospital. I'm so grateful she is.........and I'm
glad dad can go home and get a good nites sleep. He needs it.

When Icame home from the hospital I finished a painting I've been working on. I'm happy with it.

I need to lower the picture and level it.

 Took a ride the other day. Tobacco field.......and then a picture of it drying in the barn,.......and of course cows.........because I like them..............they're so calm.......and cute.

A painting I/m working on.........me sun bathing..........We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles with me.

 

I'm going to do my walking and then see if Dexter is on tonight...................after that I'm crashing!

monday

We were short staffed last night at work. It was freaking busy........is it weird that I like it that way some of the time? I like it that way as long as it isn't that way day after day.

One of the doctors at work brought some jalapeno peppers from her garden to me.
I'm going to make some green chili! Boyfriend loves it.

The weather here has been cool and sunny. It's positively beautiful.
I love this time of year.

I woke up in a funk this morning.
I felt overwhelmed by all the things I should do and all the
things I needed to do.........
But instead of doing anything I went back to bed. I was like "fuck it. i'm going back to bed."
When I finally got out of bed I went to the grocery store.
I bought myself some daisies and gave myself the rest of the day off
without guilt.

I'm still miserable.

friday

We took a drive today to look at farm land/acreage. It was nice to get out of town. I can always breathe a little easier when we go for rides in the country................except boyfriend starts talking with a country twang. lol......drives me nuts.

Stopped in to see mom on our way home and cooked a little dinner for her and dad.
Dad takes mom out 6 days a week.........usually from morning to afternoon....................they were napping when we got there..............had been out most of the day.....................................I'm glad they get out of the house everyday.

I just threw my scrubs in the wash. I'll dry them in the morning when I get up for work........packed my lunch already.........pineapples........pear......cottage cheese....and sunflower seeds........................sitting on the couch with Mr. Bojangles. We_Ping is in the bedroom with boyfriend.

I want to buy a lemon tree.But right now I'm going to go to bed.

tuesday

Boyfriend passed out saturday morning. he hit his head on the toilet on his way down to the floor........bled all over........when i heard him hit the floor i was certain he stroked or had a cardiac arrest......he didn't...........so he's been in the hospital until this late afternoon.

the priest at the hospital visited boyfriend. boyfriend is catholic. i thought of you billy when the priest came in the room. it made me laugh a little.

so i spent the weekend running between the hospital and moms house.
i admit i was stressed. i felt torn between the two places............................felt like i was failing both mom and boyfriend. i think i might have snapped at mom. she says i didn't. before i left her house she pulled me in and gave me a huge tight hug......................it made my heart ache......... the next morning i raised my voice at boyfriends nurse, and his doctor..............it was terrible feeling the way i felt.............................i felt like my insides were tied up in a knot..................

friday night after work i went to mom and dads house. dad was going to a football game....................mom didn't want to be alone. my sister was there too.........................................so we sat with mom. we talked about swag, the urban dictionary, the lady in wal mart and about a transvestite and the relationship we imagined he has with his penis. i've never seen my mom laugh so hard. it was cute.

thursday

Moms not doing well.
She looks like poo, and feels even worse.
I spent time with her last night after work.......and was over there for several hours today, after my nurses meeting, convincing mom to take her antibiotic.
I want to take tomorrow off work to be with her.
I thought taking the family medical leave would make it easier to miss work to be with her.....................it doesn't. I'm still afraid to take days off...........and I still feel torn between my responsibilities.....................
Sister just text me and said mom snuck and flushed her antibiotics. I wanted to scream, and then cry.................until I thought about it and knew her and mom were playing...............................and they were playing....................................sister said mom is feeling a little better......................................................then they text me and said I was adopted. I responded "thank God!"

I'm going to bed.
Good night, Billy.

Monday

We got the basement room painted and we stained 2 sets of doors. We have a little bit of trim to hang........and I have to do something with the floor. My goal was to not spend a dime on the basement room. I have enough left over primer, paint, furniture  , and carpeting aroung here that I can clean that room up and furnish it without spending money. It doesn't have to be beautiful..........just clean and functional.................................................it's almost there!

Time Warner and CBs worked out whatever issue they were having.........................so my Showtime is back on.......................which means I can finish watching the rest of this last season of Dexter! It's the best season of Dexter in the past couple years IMHO.......
I ordered a pizza. So I'm going to sit on the couch with Mr. Bojangles, eat pizza, and watch Dexter.

Welcome back, Billy!

monday

Mr. Bojangles woke me this morning. He stood on the table next to my bed meowing until I got up to feed him...................and then he did the same until I let him outside.
I don't need an alarm clock. He pretty much does the same thing every morning at 4:30 or 5. Some of the time he stands on my chest instead of the table, stares down at my face and meows until Iget up to do whatever it is he wants me to do. I love that little fucker but today I wish he would have left me alone. I really wanted to sleep in.......

The garbage pickers took most of the stuff I cleaned out of my basement from my driveway last night. I'm glad someone can use it.

We're going to paint the basement room today.
I'm anxious to get it done!