friday

Boyfriend is still at the care center.

It's been a roller coaster of a time.

For the first week they falsified his record by claiming to weigh him

daily per doctors order due to swelling.

He said they weren't weighing him.

When I asked the nurse she assured me he was being weighed, even read to me the daily weights.

Several minutes later she came to boyfriends room and reported that he had not been weighed ever while there.....they lied.

I'm not sure why she decided to come clean.

Needless to say my trust in his immediate staff is gone. I was furious............

Right now boyfriend has pneumonia.

He feels pretty terrible........tired, short of breath............looks like crap..........

I'm hoping today he will feel a little or a whole lot better after a couple days of antibiotics.

Yesterday I took him to the eye doctor. His left eye remains surgically shut.

We had stopped his eye med, a steroid back in December. When the med was almost out we called the pharmacy to have it refilled, there were no refills, so the pharmacy called the doctor for a refill which is how they always proceed............the eye doctor, the head of the eye institute said no more refills...................this guy has examined boyfriend twice.......so we didn't question his order. We figured he reviewed boyfriends chart and made the decision to discontinue the steroid for his eye. They had been lowering the dose over the past several months.

Yesterday we were informed the pharmacy never called them, the med should not have been canceled, and boyfriends eye was severely swollen again. 

I was pissed beyond words, boyfriend cried. I cried. He was so looking forward to having his eye clipped open............we have to wait now for a couple more months.

The good thing is a new medication came out in Jan. In a nut shell it rejuvenates (not sure if that's the right word) nerves in the eye that have been destroyed as boyfriends were from the shingles virus. We are so grateful for this new medication....

I know all I talk about is illness................it's what's going on...........it's a huge part of our life right now................................we talk about better days we hope are coming............we plan trips we hope to take soon..............on the way back to the center yesterday after the eye appointment we stopped by our house.....like after the last appointment. Woody our cat got into the car again to visit boyfriend........it was sweet.......made boyfriend smile.

Yesterday I decided to purge my bedroom closet and the dresser drawers.

I threw away/or donated 5 purses and 9 pair of shoes, dozens of books and 4 prescription pair of glasses. I had 3 bags of garbage/old clothes to throw away and I have a huge pile of clothes in my hallway that I will donate. 

I cleaned all of boyfriends drawers too. All that's left to clean is my dresser. It feels good. Makes my chest, my brain feel lighter already!

friday

I took boyfriend to a podiatry appointment yesterday to have the wound on his foot checked.
He's doing much better at transferring from the w/c to and from the car.
The wound is doing well. There was some mix up with the antibiotic so the doctor re-ordered it......he also wrote an order saying boyfriend may now bear weight to the heel of his bad foot ....after the appointment I stopped by the house. I thought it would be nice for boyfriend  to have a visit with the cats.
Woody went straight to the car when I let him out of the house. He jumped right in the car and sat on boyfriends lap. Boyfriend hugged and kissed him. It was a good and happy moment!
 Our other cat Mr. Bojangles didn't come down to the car but he did roll on his back while on the porch. He was happy to see boyfriend from afar! :O)
After the cat visit we took a ride in the car........drove past a few houses that are for sale. I wanted boyfriends opinion on them.....and then we had lunch out, in the car before heading back to the rehab/long term care facility.
It wasn't our greatest Valentines Day together......it wasn't horrible either.

wed.

went to the dentist today and had 2 wisdom teeth pulled.
30 years ago my dentist recommended they be pulled. he said they'd become infected that it's impossible to do a good job cleaning them. and finally one of them did!

yesterday i finished the antibiotic for a sinus infection.
i feel so much better!

boyfriend is doing ok at the rehab facility.
physical and occupational therapy are doing him good!

monday

I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday.
I scheduled myself for a day that I'd be working with my BFF work
friend.
My work friends' pet turkey, Jackson, recently passed away. He was six years old.
 I bought a cute turkey brooch filled with fall colored gemstones and gave it to my friend. I just wanted to honor her little friend in some way and to let her know I care.

While at work yesterday I noticed a familiar face in the physical therapy department. It was the physical therapist who did boyfriends evaluation at the place boyfriend is staying.
Silly as it may sound it made me so happy to see him. I didn't feel so separated, so far away from boyfriend.

Today we have an appointment with the oncologist. I will be the one taking Ace........hopefully I'll be able to get him out of the car and then back in the car without him bearing weight on his left foot. It should be OK I think. I'm looking forward to the drive after the appointment, spending time with him away from the medical facility. He is too....

boyfriend will be going to a rehab facility when he is released from the hospital.
he is non weight bearing on his left foot but doesn't have the strength or balance to use crutches
or other devices to maintain his non weight bearing status. so he'll go to a rehab center to work on these issues so that he can come home. it sucks. it's sad.

woody woke me up at 3:30 this morning.
when i refused to get out of bed he started knocking the stuff off
my bedside table. when that didn't work for him he started on my dresser.
i knew there was no going back to sleep so i just got out of bed. (i'm locking him out of my bedroom tonight!)

yesterday i sorted through the mail, packaged and took to the post office a christmas gift that needs to be exchanged, and mailed some lottery tickets to boyfriends sister. the only reason i mention it is because this is the type of activity that causes me anxiety. it's stupid, and i can't explain it.
i'm just so relieved to have it done that it felt worthy of mentioning. :O)~

monday

We had an appointment at the Podiatrist this past Thursday to have the wound on boyfriends foot checked.
It looked and smelled infected because it is.........so from there we went home to wait on a room at the hospital and went there Thursday afternoon..........had surgery Saturday to have the infected bone in boyfriends foot removed and to have the wound cleaned up a bit...............................they'll treat him with antibiotics for a few weeks...........................hopefully they'll let him come home in a couple of days.
I'm having a pity party because
I have a cold I can't seem to shake,  I have a tooth that is hurting, and here we are again with another hospitalization/sickness/surgery.
Its been this way for 3 years.
It's overwhelming some of the time.......and people get tired of hearing about it........so you stop sharing whats going on and how its taking a toll on you........................you feel isolated, sad, stressed and resentful some of the time.......and then you feel guilty.........


came home from the hosp. yesterday and stayed outside. just a few days ago we were minus 12......yesterday we hit 65 AND it was sunny!...yay!.......the warmish air felt good. so i stayed outside and
 cleaned the car.
it looks good! it feels good to have it clean again.

daughter came over last night to have dinner and watch the super bowl.
the game was long and the commercials were disappointing....
even the half time show lacked any real excitement..........