thursday

my least favorite jelly bean.............purple.

more notes from dad.....and one from mom

Mom and dad are back from their trip.
They're both tan, rested, and happy to be home.
We celebrated dads 75th birthday.
He's healthy. He's active......................and I think he's who keeps mom going.

sunday

Hi Billy.

sunday

ran a million errands this morning.
celebrated boyfriends birthday this late afternoon.
mammogram results negative!
grateful for my job but wish i didn't have to work tomorrow.

my man of the hour

Norah Jones - Man Of The Hour ( Live Good Morning America 11/16/2009 ) - YouTu

I play this everyday on my way home from work. By that time I'm usually missing Mr. Bojangles. It's my song to him!

sunday

Daughter asked if I'd get her one of these, a Savannah cat, after she graduates from college. She showed me some u-tube videos of these cats and now I want one. They're so cute, and playful.
I told her I'd get her one after she graduates.

When I left the grocery store Friday a mammogram bus was in the parking lot. I've been diligent about getting a mammogram since I was 38 or 39 years old.........................but the last time I had one it hurt. I mean it really hurt .I joke that the lady giving me the test fractured my left breast. So I've put it off for 2 years. I've worried about not having it done. So when i saw the van I thought just get it out of the way...........had nothing else pressing to do..........it's a free service..........and maybe it was a sign seeing the van, or some sort of devine intervention..........so i went in........&......I was hopeful it wouldn't hurt like last time.......but..........it killed my left breast again.

I have a patient who sings Gospel songs to me while I care for her diabetic foot. She has a beautiful singing voice......and I tell her she does.  I love when she sings to me. It makes me feel calm and happy. Singing makes her happy.

monday

I took the day off work today for a bad back. Sitting or lying in bed all day doesn't help. Walking helps a little. Not a 12 hour shift of lifting patients, and bending over them to do treatments. Just a little walking and stretching. So boyfriend and I went out to walk the 3.89 acres for sale that interests me.

When I see the property I think of family sitting under the stars at a bon fire.  I see a huge, wonderful, fruit and veggie garden. I see long walks and picnics in the woods with boyfriend.....watching deer from the front porch,.....sons coming out to frog gig..........and cozy nights in front of the fire place with boyfriend and the kitties.

The house on the property needs to be removed. I could have a home built on site, or maybe get a prefabricated\modular home.............I put up a picture of one below. It's simple, small, and cute I think. it just needs a firplace.

wed

Mom and dad are out of town for awhile so I've spent the last two days cleaning their house. When I cleaned their house for Christmas it was apparent to me that they can't keep up with that big house anymore. At that time I only had time to do some basic cleaning but knew I'd need to come back and really get my hands dirty.
At one point yesterday I was sitting on mom's bedroom floor dusting books and a table that sits next to mom's bed. Tucked in one of the books were letters from the dean from the university where mom graduated. She had a 4.0 GPA all through school and was on the deans list. I never knew. I also found a book with some of the poems mom wrote tucked between the pages. They made me cry they were so good. On the other hand I found a rejection letter from a magazine mom had sent one of her poems to for publication. It made me angry because I knew the rejection had to  hurt my mom.......and I don't like her hurting.........and then I wondered if she gave up or if she continued to try to get published..............................and I wondered why she never shared any of this with me........................and then I felt a little guilty for reading her stuff. So I put it away. As I was sitting on moms bedroom floor thinking of her I heard noises down the hallway and in the living room, or maybe the noise was coming from outside. I cautiously walked down the hallway half expecting to see an intruder. I looked down the steps and through the glass at the sides of the front door. Two cop cruisers were out front.
I went outside. No cop around. So I yelled out.....HELLO! HELLO! and from the back yard came the police.
Dad signs up to have the police do property inspection while he is out of town. I guess the police actually do check things out.........so,
They called in to whoever they call and checked to make sure it was okay for me to be in mom and dads house. I was a little scared that maybe dad forgot to put me on the list, and I briefly saw myself being handcuffed and taken away. Of course things worked out and the police went on their way.....

When mom gets home I'm going to ask her about the letter from the publisher...........if she tried again......if she still writes.............ask her to hang her letters from the Dean so that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can see them...................I also want them t o know that she was the very first woman to complete each and every course offered in the Women's Studies program  at the university she attended.............
Mom and dads house is now sparkling clean. All that's left to do is take a quilt out of the dryer and fold it........and  put a vase full of flowers on the breakfast bar a day before they're due home. It felt good doing for them.......

thursday

Went for a drive today. I thought this little place was kinda cool looking. It has two signs in the window. One said.......cold beer. The other one said........open. It's empty. But I suppose it used to be a little country bar.

This little guy is cute so I snapped his picture.

This sign was out front of what used to be the little country bar. It says......cold beer, and coca cola.

I found a house that interests me. It's on two acres, in the country........but only 15 miles from where I live so it's still close to the city.

It has a shack of a house on it...........and since there was a no trespassing sign, I couldn't get a really good look at the land.

I'm thinking I could knock down the shack, and put a little house, like a little house on the prairie house, on the property.

I've exchanged an email with the realtor. He's going to give me a call tomorrow.

dad notes

I like getting notes from dad. They're

usually tucked in a book or in an envelope and then placed between my kitchen doors.

He also sends snail mail. It usually includes a newspaper article with the important facts highlighted with yellow highlighter by dad...........................and then off to the side are dads hand written thoughts and opinions about the article. Some of the time it's pictures of a family event with a hand written letter from dad. I think it's sweet he takes the time..........................he still writes love letters to mom!

big dog

While out with daughter yesterday we went to the animal shelter to visit the animals. I try to get there every couple of months to visit the furry little critters. As we walked in the door there was a huge, black dog sitting in the middle of the floor. I have a little fear of large dogs. This guy was over a hundred pounds. So I  felt a little intimidated but went about my business of visiting the animals anyway..............daughter sat on the floor at one of the cat cages and was talking to a couple of cats. Big,  black dog walked over to her and laid his head on her shoulder......and he stayed that way while she visited the cats and kitties. It was the cutest site. Made my heart melt. So we gave him lots of hugs and talked a bit with him........and as we visited with hmi I wondered if he'd fit in my back seat........and what boyfriend, mr. bojangles, and we-ping would think if i came home with this monster of a dog.
Even now I kind of miss him..........keep seeing him resting his head on daughters shoulder.......want to bring him home and give him love and a family.

wed

I finished a painting of Mr. Bojangles and We-Ping  this evening. Boyfriend said Aw, that's cute. Daughter laughed. lol. I agree with boyfriend, it turned out cute!

My quotation marks aren't working. Neither are my parentheses and question mark. FYI.

Daughter and I hung out out for a little while today.
She needed a new red polo shirt for work. So we shopped for a shirt and went out for a late lunch, or early supper.
She talked. A lot.
I mostly listened.
We had a nice time.


Dad left a couple books between my kitchen doors.
One is Angela's Ashes. I read it a long time ago and didn't like it.
The other one is Imperfect Justice. The attorney, Jeff Ashton, who prosecuted Casey Anthony
for the murder of her little girl wrote the book. It's about the Anthony trial I guess.
I hope he did a better job on the book than he did prosecuting her.

 Daughter and I are going to make popcorn and watch American Idol. I already have a couple favorites.

friday

 best work friends birthday present turned out kinda cute. the pot is Terra Cotta, so it won't blow away, &  it's a lot bigger than it looks in the picture.

thursday

Mr. Bojangles is sitting on my lap and purring up a storm. He likes when I rub the sides of his mouth and his eyes. I love my little furry friend.
My best work friends birthday is Saturday.
Since my work hours have been cut I really don't want to spend money on a birthday gift. She lives out in the country. Her and her husband spend mornings on the front porch, when the weather allows, having their coffee. She loves her porch. So I have a couple things in mind that I might do for her birthday that will be budget AND porch friendly.
If it turns out okay I'll post a picture.
We need to admit two more patients at work to get our hours back. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Things usually end up working out.........

Daughter is doing well in school.
Her English comp 1 and now comp 2 teacher graduated from one of daughters high schools biggest rival schools. The rival school is upper middle class and rich kids.  Our school has students from mostly poor and lower middle income families. Students at both schools have misconceptions and prejudices about each other that feeds the rivalry. We call them Cake Eaters. They call much worse.
 Daughter and teacher had an instant positive connection though.........he reassured daughter right away that he wasn't from one of the rich families. As though being rich is in some way wrong or immoral. Daughter didn't defend herself against any misconceptions he may have had about her. She didn't feel the need to.................anyway..........
He's been great with daughter I think. Really helping to build her confidence where academics are concerned.......and pushes her in a good way............told her after she confided in him she was considering dropping out, that of all his students she's the one he had pegged as the one most likely to be successful in school..........she says she has learned more from him this year than all of her years in k-12.
I don't even know the guy but I'm grateful for him.

wed

whole bran bagel with low fat onion and chive cream cheese spread
6 whole pickles
1 cucumber
1 tomato
1 can of black olives
1 can of pineapples
handful of pretzel nuggets
2 cups of chili
tuna fish on whole wheat toast

that's what i ate yesterday.
i graze and need to quit. especially the pickles, they're loaded with sodium.
i got on the scale yesterday to see if i gained weight over the holiday. was pleasantly surprised to see i lost two more pounds.

our hours at work have been cut again. we lose one 12 hour shift a pay period. so over the past year my hours have been cut by 40 hours per month.
I can't afford a week off each month.
they expect the cut to last for 6 weeks, but there's no way to really know.
my biggest concern is daughters college tuition &
i worry about taking more money out then i'm putting in..........................................so i will apply at other places today for part time work.

daughters best friend has been disowned by her family.
a couple weeks ago she had sex for the first time.
she was worried because she had some bleeding so she had daughter call me
to ask if she'd be okay.
i hugged her over the phone and reassured her. mostly i was concerned though about whether or not she used birth control. teens want to pretend they're not stupid when it comes to birth control. i was worried she'd lie about using birth control rather than appear to be irresponsible. i talked to her about the morning after pill, that she could take it if she didn't use birth control. but that there was a short window of time and she had to be open and honest. she promised she had used a condom.
a week later she calls daughter at 330 in the morning asking daughter to take her to the hospital. she's still bleeding and passing huge clots.
daughter takes her to the hospital and freaks cause her friend is passing potato sized clots, is pale, and lightheaded. she convinces her friend to call her parents.
her parents screamed at her, told her she had ruined her life, and her father told her she was not welcomed back at home or allowed to have contact with her siblings. all day yesterday her father sent to her via text messages demeaning, hateful comments.
 mind you her father is the brother to the coach that called daughter a fucking, useless, crybaby bitch. two peas in a pod........
her father hates white people. he likes to think of his self as an ex slave..he's 37 years old. give me a freaking break.  so best friend also has to hide the fact that the guy she had sex with is white.
anyway........best friend has a tear to the cervix, thus the bleeding. her blood counts were ok. the hospital doctor told her to put in a tampon which would hopefully put pressure on the cervix and would stop the bleeding.
now this is a girl who graduated number one in her class with full scholarship offers to a few different universities, is going to college, doesn't drink, or party. studies, works a job, baby sat her 4 or 5 younger siblings all through high school, did all the laundry for 7 people while growing up, dealt with her fathers tantrums, watching him throw computers and knock furniture over while in a tantrum........and kept her mouth shut when her father stole 150 bucks from her scholarship money to download i-tunes to his ipod. what a dad. he was so far from perfect. but by god his daughter was going to be!
she had sex. she's 19.
i understand her fathers fears. especially considering he was a father for the first time at 17.
i don't understand his hatefulness, and thoughtlessness, and ignorance.
 when you're forced to be your parents idea of perfect, you're going to fail. she tried though........and she's exhausted from trying, i think. everything she has accomplished and she feels like a failure. I feel  sad for her.