monday

I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday.
I scheduled myself for a day that I'd be working with my BFF work
friend.
My work friends' pet turkey, Jackson, recently passed away. He was six years old.
 I bought a cute turkey brooch filled with fall colored gemstones and gave it to my friend. I just wanted to honor her little friend in some way and to let her know I care.

While at work yesterday I noticed a familiar face in the physical therapy department. It was the physical therapist who did boyfriends evaluation at the place boyfriend is staying.
Silly as it may sound it made me so happy to see him. I didn't feel so separated, so far away from boyfriend.

Today we have an appointment with the oncologist. I will be the one taking Ace........hopefully I'll be able to get him out of the car and then back in the car without him bearing weight on his left foot. It should be OK I think. I'm looking forward to the drive after the appointment, spending time with him away from the medical facility. He is too....

boyfriend will be going to a rehab facility when he is released from the hospital.
he is non weight bearing on his left foot but doesn't have the strength or balance to use crutches
or other devices to maintain his non weight bearing status. so he'll go to a rehab center to work on these issues so that he can come home. it sucks. it's sad.

woody woke me up at 3:30 this morning.
when i refused to get out of bed he started knocking the stuff off
my bedside table. when that didn't work for him he started on my dresser.
i knew there was no going back to sleep so i just got out of bed. (i'm locking him out of my bedroom tonight!)

yesterday i sorted through the mail, packaged and took to the post office a christmas gift that needs to be exchanged, and mailed some lottery tickets to boyfriends sister. the only reason i mention it is because this is the type of activity that causes me anxiety. it's stupid, and i can't explain it.
i'm just so relieved to have it done that it felt worthy of mentioning. :O)~

monday

We had an appointment at the Podiatrist this past Thursday to have the wound on boyfriends foot checked.
It looked and smelled infected because it is.........so from there we went home to wait on a room at the hospital and went there Thursday afternoon..........had surgery Saturday to have the infected bone in boyfriends foot removed and to have the wound cleaned up a bit...............................they'll treat him with antibiotics for a few weeks...........................hopefully they'll let him come home in a couple of days.
I'm having a pity party because
I have a cold I can't seem to shake,  I have a tooth that is hurting, and here we are again with another hospitalization/sickness/surgery.
Its been this way for 3 years.
It's overwhelming some of the time.......and people get tired of hearing about it........so you stop sharing whats going on and how its taking a toll on you........................you feel isolated, sad, stressed and resentful some of the time.......and then you feel guilty.........


came home from the hosp. yesterday and stayed outside. just a few days ago we were minus 12......yesterday we hit 65 AND it was sunny!...yay!.......the warmish air felt good. so i stayed outside and
 cleaned the car.
it looks good! it feels good to have it clean again.

daughter came over last night to have dinner and watch the super bowl.
the game was long and the commercials were disappointing....
even the half time show lacked any real excitement..........

tuesday

I filled in Sunday at work.
They  needed a nurse for half a shift.
I jumped on it. 12 hour shifts are getting to
be a bit much. 6 hours was a breeze!

I've had a cold for the past week.
It's irritating to say the least.
I just want it to go away.
I got up early this morning with the intent
of getting some things done around the house.
I showered though then got back in bed and slept
for a couple of hours.
I feel crummy.

We have some really bad weather
headed this way for tomorrow
with temperatures below zero, and wind chill
-15.
I'm ready for Spring.

Boyfriends brother and sister-in-law
are coming for a visit in March.
 We're looking forward to their visit.
It's always fun being with them.

sunday

We had a snow storm here last night/early this morning.
I think it's our first major snow in like 4 years.
I sat at the dining room window this morning with
a coffee and my kitties and watched the snow fall.
It's beautiful outside right now... 

He was in my backyard a couple of evenings ago.

Son gave me binoculars for Christmas. I've been wanting some for awhile..

I'm looking forward to using them while we are out in the country or at the ocean.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!
This year my plan is to face
some of  my fears.......one in particular.......
I believe facing it will set me free...:O)
I know I sound vague. It's the best I can
do right now!

It's been 14 months since I quit smoking.
The longest I've gone so far is 18 months.
This time around though I
do not have as intense cravings as I had last time
I quit. I did however have anxiety and some depression
I feel better now though.
Meditation I think will be very helpful.

Another thing.......I'm finished with one sided relationships.
A tiny, simple example would be............there's a girl at work, a work friend  who
every year I wish a happy birthday, and I mail  to her a birthday card. It's such a simple gesture.
She used to wish me a happy birthday. Which was very nice, and thoughtful
of her. It requires for the giver to speak 2 simple words..."happy birthday!"..........so simple!
For the last 3 or 4 years she hasn't said a peep.
I know she knows when my birthday is because birthdays are posted by the time clock each month.....and she's the one who posts them!
I'm embarrassed to even blog about it......seems so petty..........but one sided relationships can be hurtful.
 I don't want to participate in them anymore.

This morning I made scrambled eggs for breakfast. I added some Pico De Gallo to them.
It was very good.

Mr. Bojangles is on the mend.
I mix his antibiotic with a little creamer.
He laps it right up.
I love the little, furry, dude.

friday

Yesterday I started meditating.

I decided I will do it daily for 30 days

and at the end of those 30 days hopefully I will want to continue.

I took Mr. Bojangles to the Vet this evening.

Him and Woody fought on Christmas Eve. Mr. Bojangles had a little wound on his head that became abscessed. He had a fever, wasn't eating, and was in pain.

The doctor drained the abscess, cleaned it, and gave him his first antibiotic dose.

He's on the couch resting.

My poor baby...

Wednesday

Christmas is over, and I'm so glad!
As much as I love prepping for it, and spending time with family, I'm always relieved when it's over!
We celebrate Christmas, me, boyfriend and my adult children on the 24th. Boyfriends son is out of state and will visit early in the New Year.
We had a nice dinner, opened gifts, and then played the "What Do You Meme" game. It's a fun game but can get a little raunchy!

The holiday has been tough for boyfriend  with losing his son this past summer.
He got through it though, even had some really good moments..........

Christmas Day was spent at my dads' house with my family and extended family.........it was OK.......but as soon as my children left to go to their dads' house, I left too. I just wanted to be home.................................................I was physically and emotionally drained.................came home and put on my PJ's...............................watched "A Christmas Story".............................read up on the digital video camera son gave to me, and chit chatted with boyfriend.

I baked some sugar cookies. The little girl up the street, who really is a young woman now but I always think of her as a little girl, asked my daughter if I was making sugar cookies this year.  She has always liked them and I've always (since she was 8. She's 22 now) packed some up for her.

 ........even tried decorating them (I suck at that part)...............she stopped by on Christmas Eve to say hello and to catch up with daughter....and also to get her cookies! lol

It was nice times for the most part.
I'm glad it's over!

saturday

Daughter and I are going to see The Nutcracker at Cincinnati Music Hall today. It's her Christmas gift to me.

I'm excited about seeing it with her again!

thursday

I won the door decorating contest at daughters apartment complex!
Actually I got 3rd place, lol, but still I feel like a winner!
If I can figure out how to upload a picture from my phone, or if daughter emails me a picture of the door I will post a picture!

My sisters and I met yesterday for our annual Christmas outing.
We had lunch and exchanged gifts.
One of my sisters brought for each of us headbands with very large functioning Christmas lights across the band. We each wore them for our get together.
 It was a  fun afternoon!

Today we have two doctor appointments for boyfriend.
One with the podiatrist for the wound on boyfriends foot, and one with his family doctor.
We saw the podiatrist a week ago. He cut away some dead tissue on the wound, cultured it, gave boyfriend a pressure relieving boot and antibiotics, and ordered a treatment.
 Today he will probably do some more debriding.

Is anyone else using the online grocery shopping thing where you order online then go to the store and they bring your groceries to your car.
We've used it a few times.
As a matter of fact I have an order in to be picked up tomorrow.
I find that I don't spend as much money/make impulse buys..............plus it really is great for times when you are super busy!

monday

I cashed in my money jar. It's a 64 ounce pickle jar. I'd throw the change I'd find in the dryer, or left sitting on the buffet in it. Most of the change though came from old purses I had cleaned out.
When all was said and done I walked away with 89 bucks. :O)

saturday

A burn from when boyfriend accidentally poured boiling water over his hand.. It's almost healed.

Our skinny Christmas tree.

Furry little Woody napping.

Mr. Bojangles napping.

This is Tye my sons cat. He's the sweetest cat I've ever known. He can jump straight up about 6 feet, can open cabinets, freezers, refrigerators, and other doors.. He loves Woody.

wed.

I've been working on door decorations for daughters front door. Her apartment complex is having a door decorating competition to celebrate the holiday.
Daughters busy working two jobs right now and doesn't have time to participate. I asked her if I could decorate the door for her.
 I started the project last night. It's due by the 14th. Every time I'd plan on working on it, something would come up that couldn't take a place in the back of the line!

We're going to the doctor today.
I found a purple area on boyfriends foot that
is draining bloody drainage.
It's depressing....

We got a letter from our local police department asking that anyone who has
security cameras on their property let the police know. This way if there's a crime in the area they can use the video to help solve the crime.......            My thought is they might want to know who has video so the police know when they are being filmed doing something they shouldn't be doing...

I did a shift this past Saturday.
I enjoyed it.

I have my tree up and decorated.
I decorated with all red and chocolate color ornaments.
It's the first time I've used white lights only.
It's very pretty.
Boyfriend thinks it's too skinny!

I have all my Christmas shopping finished, and almost everything is wrapped.
I do still have to apply bows and ribbons to the gifts!

tuesday

"There should be items in your home that sing a little song
to you when you walk by."
~ Nate Berkus

My older sister mailed me this quote.

And then I saw it on  a blog.

 So I've decided to take a picture of a few things in my home that sing a little song to me when I walk by.

The picture I've named  Cow. I have him hanging in my kitchen. He's so cute to me!

My "all you need is love and a cat" sign and my  apron and pot holder, holder just below the cat sign.

Pictures of my children from when we were in Myrtle Beach on a family vacation from back when they were young. Both the boys dressed as Rambo, and daughter a pink power ranger. It makes me smile when I look at these pics of them so young and innocent.......and serious about their costumes!

sunday

I got up early yesterday to ready myself for a day of shopping with daughter.
I had cleaned the house the day before so that I would not feel guilty for spending my day shopping.
I also made sure that boyfriend had a breakfast and lunch easily warmed in the microwave in the refrigerator.
I almost finished my Christmas shopping while with daughter. I had already shopped many of the things I needed online...so that made yesterday easier.
I think all I have left to buy is a gift for my oldest sister, and cat nip for the kitties.
I had a fun day yesterday.
It's almost always fun spending time with daughter, or any of my adult children for that matter!

Boyfriend burned his hand a couple of weeks ago.
He boiled water on the stove to make an instant coffee drink. He thought he was pouring the water in his cup but was actually pouring the water over his hand( he couldn't feel the hot water on his skin. the neuropathy from the chemo is that bad..) that was holding the cup.
He ended up with a pretty bad burn and yet he refused to go to the hospital/urgent care.
We've been treating the burn ourselves much to my dismay.
I think though that it finally looks like it is going to heal without becoming infected. Huge relief.....