I won't give up....

I'm off of work today! Yay!
One of the best feelings in the world is waking up and knowing you don't have to go to work. Double "YAY!"
I did a lot of work in the yard last evening. Finished a rock wall around a little flower bed, potted some plants, and burned a bunch of twigs. I want the yard to look great for my sons graduation party.
I can't believe he's graduating. It all goes by so quickly. He's my middle child, and so far has been my most difficult. He's stubborn, strong willed, and opinionated.............and I love the little fucker to death.
I remember when I was at my lowest of lows, and he was at his lowest of lows, and everything was uncertain, and I was scared, as was he.....and probably too caught up in my own saddness to realize how everything was affecting him.....and I remember how he (out of the blue) wrapped his arms around me and said "I won't give up if you won't"................I still feel guilt for having been so caught up in my own pain, that I didn't recognize sooner how badly he was hurting...........and so until he said to me "i won't give up if you won't"......it had never occured to me he might actually be considering giving up. I realized that my children would not be ok until I was.......that i had to fix myself, get back on track, and start living a productive life again, and show them that I was ok, and support them emotionally, and be their rock,and let them feel safe to mourn so that they could heal and get on with life.........and so that's what i did, and what they did too...............and i love him.....and he is wise,and intelligent, and a go getter.....and i'm as proud as any mother could possibly be.