Excuses for calling off sick

It was a bummer going back to work today. I used a backache as an excuse for calling off yesterday. I need some new and improved excuses.
I've been tardy the last 3 days that I've worked. I guess I'm kinda going for a 3 day suspension. That way I don't have to use all my sick days.

I remember one time when I was in my very early 20's out partying with my older sister. We had been drinking and before we knew it it was like 3am and my sister had to be at work by 7am. We decided that I'd call in for her. So I called and talked to the guy who took call offs and I explained to him that she had a sick stomach and wouldn't be in to work......and to convince him that she really was sick, and to explain why she wasn't making the call, I explained how I took her to the emergency room and that it was probably her appendix..... and they'd be taking her into surgery in just a few minutes to take a little peek around. Luckily the guy on call was a friend to my sister.....and he was able to gather from my somewhat slurred speech, and my failed attemtps to block mine and my sisters laughter by holding my hand over the phone receiver, that I was full of shit, and probably a little drunk. He marked my sister down as having a stomach flu. :O)