saturday

Mom is bleeding again..............sister called me lastnight to let me know...........I cried myself to sleep because I was full of fear, guilt and sadness...................I worked today and my anxiety increased as the end of my work day neared. I wanted to go to moms house after work, but I was afraid. I always worry I'll cry when I see her......not that crying is a big deal cause it's not............but if i cry i'm afraid I'll upset her.........and then to have to explain my tears, hell I don't know. It's hard to explain. But I did go see her and dad after work. I talked to dad about the child support hearing, my attorney, and my dads plan of attack for the next court date. Lord......
I laid in bed with mom and chit chatted with her for awhile. She's a good mom, and a sweet person. I love her. It makes me feel sad when she's ill. I know she's afraid even though she pretends not to be. I'm afraid too.