Shopping & resting

I took daughter to the mall today so that she could do her summer clothes shopping. We're both PMS and irritable so it wasn't the greatest day in the world, but we made the best of it. She got everything she needs and a few extras. She's happy. I'm tired. So after dropping her off at her dads, I came home, put on my pajamas, turned on the fan, wrapped up in my comforter, and climbed into the bed. I alternated between watching TV, reading, and talking on the phone. I even ate supper while in the bed. .......and that was my day.

a little bit of nothing

I went out for supper with boyfriend this evening. I had a garden salad and twin lobster tails. It was delicious.
I also did a little shopping for necessities and a couple books. I bought "The Divide" by Nicholas Evans, and a Mary Higgins Clark book. I like her books. They're quick, fun reads....

I'm off work tomorrow. I'll probably take daughter to the mall for summer clothes shopping. Today was her last day of school. She'll be a Sophmore next year. She plans on being a school teacher when she grows up. She also plans on buying a green jeep wrangler,& adopting twins. :O)

:O)

I worked today& I did get the vacation I requested for June. Yay!

After work I went to Lowes. I have to do something with my bathroom. It's the pits and I can't stand to look at it any longer. So I went to Lowes hoping to get some ideas. I did get a few......now I just have to come up with a plan, and then get it done. Why can't I be rich?

I love my garden. My corn is about 4 inches tall, and all the other stuff is growing too. Yay! Plus my flowers are growing like crazy.......

child support hearing

Our child support hearing was today. My attorney called last night to tell me he wouldn't be there. He wasn't informed of the hearing (it was cancelled then rescheduled) until Friday and he had a more pressing engagement for today. He tried to reschedule our hearing without success. His associate filled in for him. I wasn't sure what to think. A part of me was relieved. My gut was saying that maybe my attorney wasn't the best guy for the job anyway. I loved the lady that filled in for him. She was on the ball, intelligent, confident, informed, and I immediately trusted her. The hearing went well......actually....it went way better than I had anticipated........... The judge will inform each of us through the mail of his decision. I'm optimistic in a guarded sort of way. I'm just happy to be through with it....................................PS.......I feel bad for my exhusband. He was very defensive in court, probably because it wasn't going so well for him and his attorney. Don't get me wrong.......the Judges decision may be to have me pay back 24,000 bucks that ex's attorney claims I owe my x-husband.......and potentially all of the child support may be cut. But from my perspective it didn't look good for them. I got no pleasure from his discomfort. I felt sad for him. Not because I think anyone was being unfair. I guess I just felt like "there's the father of my 3 children and things aren't going well for him right now"..........

this n that

I finished a Dean Koontz book today. The characters in some of his books are so likeable and they usually crack me up..........

I took a nap today and so I'll probably be up late tonight. It's not a big deal as I'm off work tomorrow. I'm snacking on green olives. I love green and black olives. 5 olives have only 20 calories, but they're loaded with sodium.

I just called oldest son. He stopped over earlier today but I was napping and missed him. So I called him to say hey. It's almost midnight but it's Saturday so I knew he'd be up. Him, my middle son, and their dad were out shooting pool. When I called him he invited me to join them. Part of me wanted to, but I didn't want to leave daughter here alone, didn't feel like dressing, and I really didn't feel like putting up the necessary "walls" to be around their dad.

We've postponed our trip to Colorado. I put in my vacation request in Feb. for the last week of June and first week of July.. When we were (in mid May?) told our company had sold we were also told no vacations would be granted for the month of June. The new owners, assuming we are rehired, probably won't be giving any vacation time until we've worked for them for a year........and I guess our present owners are going to save a buck by not granting any vacations. Kinda sucks. My plan is to call off sick with my weekend off and take a total of 5 days in June. I'll use the sick time i've earned. It's not the 12 days vacation I planned on taking, but atleast it's something. Boyfriend, daughter, and I will probably go to Tennessee. If the new company hires me, and if I decide to stay with them, I'll use the same plan I used last Christmas. I won't miss a day of work for 6 months, I won't be tardy, and I'll work like a dog. But come Christmas I'll call in sick. Sorry. I've worked my share of holidays over the years, and I continue to work them. I draw the line when it comes to Christmas. I want to be with my family on that day, as most people do....................it's not something I'm any longer willing to give up.

A month ago when my mom was in the hospital and after visiting her, my father and I walked to the parking lot together. While in the parking lot we stood together and talked for several minutes. Before we separated and went to our own cars, dad said to me "you have good kids, Sandy. You've done a good job raising them." I was shocked. My dad has many wonderful qualities, but when it comes to giving compliments, he's like the Simon Cal of American Idol.................and he just doesn't talk mushy talk very often. He shows his love in other ways. I love my dad, and I still look up to him. His opinion matters to me.................so when he said to me what he said, it meant the world to me...................................

My Friend Chuck

SO here's the thing......................my friend Chuck died last week. I just found out today. I've tried several times to write about him in hopes that you'd get a small glimpse of the person that he was.......but I can't seem to do him justice.

Some of the best times in my life were times spent with him.

I can't understand how someone so full of life and energy could be dead. I feel sad for him... he should still be alive.....I wish I could have told him good-bye...... I wish I could talk to him and hug him one more time.

Thursday

My garden is an aluminum, 5 foot by 8 foot, cow feed pool. The ground here is clay and rock. Not very good for gardening. So i'm going to try having a garden in the feed pool. I needed drainage holes in the bottom of the pool. I was not able to punch holes with a hammer and a punch. It's just too thick. So I asked my son if he'd bring his gun over and shoot holes in it. He brought over his colt 45 (?) and shot six holes through the bottom of the pool. :O) After the police left I put the pool at a tilt and then filled it with dirt. I planted corn, squash, beets & carrots. All of the seeds have sprouted. I'm excited!
I planted my pumpkin, watermelon, and cantelope seeds in flower pots and will transfer them to my side yard when they're a little bigger and stronger...........................

I'm worried about the child support hearing and I'm worried about the sale of my place of work. I haven't slept well in 3 days. I lie in bed thinking about what I will say at the hearing and what I wish I could say at the hearing. Then I worry whether or not I'll be employed after June 30 and if I am, what will my new boss be like.................................and then I remind myself that I always have choices. I also remind myself that things usually turn out for the best. It's the unknown that worries me. I just want everything settled.

Daughter text messaged me last night. She wrote "come upstairs please." So I go upstairs to her bedroom. She's sitting on her bed crying big crocodile tears. Seems her first boyfriend has dumped her. She's confused, hurt, and feeling like it's the end of the world. ........and to boot, she has a sore throat, stuffed nose, and her ears are hurting. I talked to her for a bit, hugged her for a bit, gave her some medicine, then tucked her in on the couch. Poor Boo. I wish I could make it better. You know?

Tiki Guy

This is Tiki guy. He use to live in the Florida Keys on mom and dads patio. Dad brought him to Kentucky several years ago and he lived on mom and dads deck for awhile. Then dads neighbor sold him for dad at a yard sale. I bought him for sentimental reasons. He's been living on my deck now for atleast a couple of years.



My little pumpkin sprout...

friday

I forgot to mention that my car insurance company ended up sending me a check fo the full amount that they over charged me. Yay! (fuckers)

My DON confided in me the name of the company who bought our facility. I called a friend who had worked for the new owners at another of their facilities. From what she told me, it sounds like maybe we'll be better off with the new owners. I feel a little hope. We'll see how it goes.

things change

My friends mother died. We've been close work friends partly because our mothers both became ill around the same time. When I'd go to work after an exhaustive night, or several nights at the hospital, or when all hope would seem lost to everyone in my family except for me, or when I'd secretly lost hope and was afraid to share my feelings with my family for fear of destroying their hope, I'd lock myself in my friends office and talk to her. She understood, she was in the same place.

I feel sad for her. I'm sure I can't begin to understand the magnitude of her loss................as if some how understanding it would help her. It wouldn't. So I just continue doing what I've been doing.........mostly just listen while she talks.

I didn't sleep well Tuesday night. I have a door under my deck that opens up to my garage and I thought I heard someone trying to get it opened. It was probably just raccoons but it made me nervous. My imagination ran wild. Probably because I watched some true crime tv before going to bed.. I'd sleep for a bit and then wake and listen for any unusual noises. After a long, restless night I kinda felt like crap all day at work and I had difficulty concentrating.I think sleep deprevation has me all emotional. I mean I cried during American Idol when the top 3 contestants each went to their home towns. .....and I snapped at a family member today at work......well maybe I didn't really snap at her, but I was very firm with her , and I cursed at her under my breath. ( bitch)

Today is my off day. I really don't have any plans. I guess I'll look through the job adds to kinda get a feel for what's out there......maybe even send a couple resumes? When you're anal it's difficult having everything "up in the air." I wish things would just stay the same, or atleast stay the same until I decide to change them.

Day Off

I had the day off from work. I was supposed to go to court today but the hearing was postponed. I didn't have the heart to ask the nurse who filled in for me today if he'd give me my day back. So I was stuck with the day off. Darn.
I spent part of the day planting flowers that my sons gave to me for Mothers Day, and since I didn't go to my mother-in-laws grave on Mothers Day, I went there today. I miss her.

Beautiful Day

It's been a beautiful day in Kentucky!
I spent all of the day outside doing yard work and working in my garden.
I accomplished a lot, and it was relaxing.

The place I work has been sold. The new owners take over July 1st. Supposedly we get to keep our jobs. Hopefully my pay won't be cut, and I'm hoping our benefits will be better than they are right now.

My attorney called yesterday to tell me our hearing has been postponed and probably will be rescheduled for sometime in July. I was so hopeful that all of this crap would be resolved next week. I'm trying really hard to just go with the flow.....

I went shopping yesterday after work to buy my mom a Mothers Day gift. Nothing seemed like the right gift. I tried to find her something really special, and perfect. But I couldn't. So I ended up getting her a gift card to her favorite place to shop....................and then I splurged and got myself some expensive perfume. I feel a little guilty. I could have done without.......... I considered taking it back..............and then I thought screw it. I work hard. I pay my bills on time, and I save money. So why can't I buy myself a nice bottle of perfume without feeling guilty?

A Treasure

I found this buried under the dirt under the deck.
It was daughters when she was a little girl. She loved the Power Rangers. She even dressed as the pink Power Ranger for Halloween one year. A little piece of the past unburied. It made me smile.

whatever

I met with my attorney today.
He looked good (sober), strong, ready for war.
I asked him if he's afraid of my Ex-husbands attorney.
He said "I'll beat the fuck out of him in the middle of the hallway if I have to......that little sissy." lol.
I was assured that this would be resolved at the next hearing. I have little hope that things will go well but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

Tuesday

The weather here has been wonderful........sunny and warm.......I was able to get some yard work done yesterday after work, and I got my pumpkin and watermelon seeds planted. I also started a herb garden. I can't wait for everything to grow and bloom.

I had a routine doctors visit today. I had him check my ears because I've noticed hearing loss over the past 8 or so months. I can hear but I can't always understnad what people are saying. It's starting to frustrate and irritate me. He said my ears definately don't look normal and wants me to take an allergy pill and some nasal spray for 2 weeks. If I don't have significant improvement in 2 weeks then I'm to go to an ENT. So hopefully it will be as simple as taking the allergy medicines. We'll see.

My son gave me a gift card to Barnes and Nobles for my birthday. I ordered some books the other day. UPS delivered them yesterday. Yay! I opened the box that the books came in, picked up one of the books, opened it, put my nose to it and took a deep breath. Don't you love the way new books smell?
I ordered "Conviction" by Richard North Patterson. I've only read one of his other books and thought it was great. This one looks like it might be even better.
And then I ordered 2 of Dean Koontz's books, Brother Odd and Forever Odd. I like his stuff. His characters crack me up.
Right now I'm reading and enjoying John Grishams "The Brethren.".................................and that's about it. I meet with my attorney tomorrow, and hopefully ex-husband and I can put all this crap behind us.

Ky. Derby

The Kentucky Derby is tomorrow. It's my favorite sporting event!

Here are my picks:
1.Big Brown
2.Cool Coal Man
3.Colonel John
4.Visionaire

Friday

Our court date is close.

I wake in the morning with butterflies in my stomach, and I worry about what might happen.

My attorney asks "what's the worse thing that can happen?"

He obviously doesn't know the way my mind works.

I can't wait for all this to be over.



Today is my off day. I'm going to plant and try to grow cantalope, beets, carrots, squash, tomatoes, jalapenos, and watermelon. I also wanna give pumpkins another try. Even if I don't get any pumpkins out of it, the flowers that grow on the pumpkin vine are pretty.........and the vine is kinda cool too.



While growing up we had a couple of farms. My dad raised beef cattle. It wasn't his "real" job. It was just something he did for fun, and to relax. When he first started buying cows my sisters and I would name them. Until there were too many to name........&...............we soon learned it isn't wise to name farm animals, because one day they may end up being the pot roast on your supper table......which was the case with George and Abe (our favorite two cows)......we were shocked and we cried.............and then there was Wormy. His mother broke through the ice on one of the ponds and died. So we bottle fed him. He was playful and sweet and like a pet to us. I can't remember what became of him. I don't think he was slaughtered.....and if he was I don't think dad told us.

But I remember going out to the farm on weekends with dad and helping him with whatever needed to be done. The part I liked best was exploring every corner of the land, exploring the barns, playing with the cows and catching tree frogs. I remember one time being chased by a wild dog. He wanted to kill and eat me. I could see it in his eyes. And I remember seeing his big, sharp, white fangs dripping of white froth as he growled at me. I ran from him. I don't know how he didn't catch me. I ran to the barn and climbed up to the loft. He stood, staring up at and growling at me for what felt like a life time. I was afraid to scream for dad. I worried that if he came running to me the dog would get him. So I sat quietly in the loft, and eventually the dog went away.