My friends mother died. We've been close work friends partly because our mothers both became ill around the same time. When I'd go to work after an exhaustive night, or several nights at the hospital, or when all hope would seem lost to everyone in my family except for me, or when I'd secretly lost hope and was afraid to share my feelings with my family for fear of destroying their hope, I'd lock myself in my friends office and talk to her. She understood, she was in the same place.
I feel sad for her. I'm sure I can't begin to understand the magnitude of her loss................as if some how understanding it would help her. It wouldn't. So I just continue doing what I've been doing.........mostly just listen while she talks.
I didn't sleep well Tuesday night. I have a door under my deck that opens up to my garage and I thought I heard someone trying to get it opened. It was probably just raccoons but it made me nervous. My imagination ran wild. Probably because I watched some true crime tv before going to bed.. I'd sleep for a bit and then wake and listen for any unusual noises. After a long, restless night I kinda felt like crap all day at work and I had difficulty concentrating.I think sleep deprevation has me all emotional. I mean I cried during American Idol when the top 3 contestants each went to their home towns. .....and I snapped at a family member today at work......well maybe I didn't really snap at her, but I was very firm with her , and I cursed at her under my breath. ( bitch)
Today is my off day. I really don't have any plans. I guess I'll look through the job adds to kinda get a feel for what's out there......maybe even send a couple resumes? When you're anal it's difficult having everything "up in the air." I wish things would just stay the same, or atleast stay the same until I decide to change them.
No comments:
Post a Comment