rambling

I really don't know what to talk about on here anymore. Seems like everything in my life lately has been depressing, and revolves around illness and death........except for the new kitty, and winning the child support hearing........and seeing the cute little brown bear in the mountains.



I suppose I live a relatively boring life. I think after the dust from my divorce settled, which took a couple of years, I've tried really hard to keep my life low key. I was emotionally beat, and physically worn out. Plus I was afraid that if I had to deal with anymore drama, I just wouldn't make it. I let all of my friends go over the past several years....every single one of them.......some that I had had since grade school.....................I examined every single friendship I had, and I ended them all. I stopped returning/answering calls, and eventually they stopped calling. So I guess you could say I really don't have any friends anymore except for my boyfriend. I mean I have pals at work that I refer to as friends and whom I talk and laugh with and say I'll do dinner with.....but when they invite me out I make excuses.

Some of the time I regret what I've done, but I know I did what I had to do at the time....and now it's habit I suppose.

Lisa and Terri were my oldest of friends. Lisa and I met in the second grade and then Terri came to our school when we were in the third grade. We've almost always been a part of each others lives and have seen each other through marriage, divorce, child birth, nursing school, death of parents, broken relationship, first loves, first sexual experiences, first time high/drunk...acne, skipping school.............everything. ............

At any rate I'm friendless. :O)

Some of the time I miss having close girlfriends.

I'm rambling.
I once had a guy friend who said to me "I like when you ramble."
I loved him. Maybe I'll tell you about him someday.