thursday

One of the visitors at work today brought in her baby. He's about 4 months old.....and cute as can be. It made me miss my Mr. Bojangles.

wednesday

Today I'm packing up some of my clothes to give to one of my patients.
Hers are worn, stained, and torn. It's affecting her mood and self esteem.
I can't afford to buy her new clothes.
 But I can give her some of mine.
I think it will cheer her up a bit.

And I'll probably take some pictures today with my new camera. For the fun of it. :O)

US Pharmacy

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Christmas

My 3 Boo's.

Daughter texting, no less!

My great niece. She looks just like I did when I was a lil girl.

My other great niece. She looks  like my 4 sisters did when they were little girls.

Christmas Eve and Christmas day was filled with family get togethers. It was a really nice time. :O)                   

My WePing and Mr. Bojangles ornaments. They make me smile.

friday

This morning I put the final touches on the wrapped gifts. For whatever reason I always wait until Christmas Eve day or night to put the bows and ribbons on the gifts. I think it's fun to do.

I went to my moms last evening to help with the preparation of our families Christmas dinner. Mom already had all the prep. work finished..........so daughter and I visited with mom and dad for awhile. It was fun..........I can't wait till Christmas Day to see all of my family. I'm especially looking forward to seeing my oldest nephew, and my two great- nieces.

This evening, boyfriend, sons, daughter, kitties and I are having Christmas Eve dinner together. I'm sooooo looking forward to being with all of them......and to cooking for them!
And then daughter and I are going to go to midnight mass with boyfriend.

This afternoon I'm going to our local soup kitchen to give books to the people who come for dinner. It may not be a very practical gift, but books are a great escape.......and a gift doesn't always have to be  practical. I love books ( and have hundreds to give).......and so hopefully they will love them too.

candy snowmen

Thanks, Odie, for the link that led me to the recipe for these. They turned out cute!

wed

I went downstairs last night to do a load of laundry. At the bottom of the steps I peeked into sons bedroom. He left a lamp on, so I went in to turn it off.
It was unusually quiet and empty in there...........
I felt this huge loss, a hole in my heart.
It's over....finished.......or atleast that's how I felt at that moment.
I want it back......my life with 3 little ones to chase after.
I walked around his room looking at some of the stuff he'd left behind. A picture of a map on his wall, an old, dusty stuffed anima from an ex girlfriendl....... stuff he didn't want to take with him, and maybe some things that he might come back for..........................I collected 2 dirty towels he had thrown over an exercise bike, turned off the light, and closed the door as I left the room.
I sent him a text message telling him I loved him. My phone rang a minute later. It was him. "I love you too. Everything ok?"
It took me a second to answer for fear of crying. I wanted to hold on to him.... and to the past....... I knew this time was coming and still it caught me off guard.
"I'm fine! Just wanted you to know I'm happy about your new place,  I love you......and to be honest, I miss you and your brother. But I swear I'm okay!" So we talked a minute about Christmas Eve dinner, and Christmas day.....and then said our good nights...........and a couple minutes later I received a text message from other son saying "we love you too, mom!"
I'm lucky. (knock on wood)
and I am okay..........

Today I baked cookies and made chocolate covered marshmallow snowmen..............and I wrapped a few more gifts.
I packed a few dozen cookies for sons to take home with them................and packaged the snowmen to give to my younger nephew and great nephew and nieces.

It was a quiet day.
It was a nice day.
It was a peaceful day.
I was filled with gratitude for all the wonderful people in my life.......and wonderful cats.

saturday

Son just left.
He's been moving his stuff to the condo since he got off of work at 2 a.m.
I told him I love him, would miss him, and was thankful I got him as a son.

Raising your children is over in a flash it seems........luckily I didn't take that time with them for granted.

Middle son has the flu. It hit him like a ton of bricks. He took his self to an urgent care a couple evenings ago after work. They did a nasal swab to confirm it was the flu and got him started right away on the appropriate medication............
Son is feeling better with the medicine, though he looks pale and tired.
I know he'll be okay. But I'm still worried about him.

Half of my patients, and many of my co-workers have upper respiratory infections. I'm glad I'm off work for the next couple of days.

Daughter is going to help me around the house today. We might even do a little holiday baking.
She's riding high on life because she received two paychecks yesterday. She works at her schools pre school as part of a co op program.
The little ones love her, and she them.
But anyway,  she's loaded for the moment, and off school and work for the next two weeks. For a teen, does it get any better ?

I apologized to my work friend.
After stepping back from, and looking at the situation again, I could see where I was wrong.
I'm glad we made up.

Mr. Bojangles is removing his daily ornament from the Christmas tree. He thinks I don't see him.

wed.

When me and my sisters, one a year younger, one a year older than me were younger......probably in junior  high and high school, we'd want to help mom get things ready for Christmas. Mom would be out for the day shopping, running errands, and doing all those things away from home that moms do in preparation for the holidays.. Sisters and I would put on Elvis's Christmas album and then spend our day cleaning and putting up the Christmas tree. We'd play that album over and over again. It was part of our motivation, that and wanting to surprise mom. We couldn't wait for her to get home so that we could see the look on her face.
She was always grateful, and probably relieved to have a few less things to do.
I'm having a tough time getting things pulled together this year for the holidays.
Not sure why..............
So I've pulled out the old Elvis Christmas album.
Hopefully it will help me along........

monday

Saturday was mine and my sisters Christmas dinner.
We get together without spouses or children and to have a nice dinner and to exchange Christmas gifts.
I was reluctant to go because of 2 sisters probably using drugs again.
But I decided to go for a couple of reasons.
#1. I love my sisters.
#2. If they die I know I would regret not having gone.
We had a nice night, and I'm glad I went.

I'm off work the next 3 days.
There's lots of work/cleaning to do around the house.
So that's probably what I'll do. But I'm going to watch the season finale of Dexter first.

negative feelings. negative post.

it pisses me off that when ever there's a conflict/or problem at work, one of my work friends has a way of putting a spin on the event so that it looks as though he has no culpability, when usually he does.......and while doing so, he "innocently" places another person, guilty or not, in the line of fire.
and since he's the golden child, it fills me with worry and fear that I'll end up taking the blame or be held responsible simply because he said so.....................and as far as my other work friend goes......a girlfriend that I've trusted more than any other girlfriend I've ever had..........well she destroyed that trust this past Tuesday.
I'm through with her and golden boy.
I'll work with them, get along with them,........maybe even laugh with them.................but I've finally learned my lesson about trusting anyone in the work place.
i really, truly, honestly believed she was trust worthy.

Yes Julie, there is a Santa!

It's 68 degrees in Miami Beach.  The best time to go to Miami Beach, if you're ever planning on going, is in March. At least I think so.
I miss the ocean.

Sons are finished painting their condo. I love the colors they picked. Most of it was done in a pumpkin like color. Sounds gross. But it actually looks quite good. They did both bedrooms in a cocoa, which I love. The trim is white.....and then they updated the bathroom fixtures.
They should be moving in soon.
In their garage they found many "treasures" including an unopened 8 foot, artificial Christmas tree, around 125 unopened rolls of wrapping paper, 10 glass chess sets still in the box, luggage unopened,.......and bunches of other stuff.
I asked my oldest son to promise me that when I'm dead him and his brother and sister would always be there for each other......non of them would ever be without a home. I know it should go without saying, but I have to say it. Then I can let it go and not worry about it.
So he promised me they'd look after each other.

Went out ot breakfast yesterday with boyfriend.
He told how he felt when he found out there wasn't a Santa.
I found out there was no Santa when i was in the third grade. Our class was leaving the cafeteria, and I remember Julie B asking me "you know there's no Santa don't you?" No. I didn't know. I was stunned, and yet I knew she was telling the truth. I struggled to maintain my composure though I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart. But I had to pretend that I knew. It had to be that or be ridiculed for the rest of grade school.

One year at Christmas time, & while mom and dad were going out to dinner, but before they left, mom gave strict instructions  to  stay out of the dining room. The Christmas presents were in there. They were in boxes that has been taped shut. But still      "Stay out of the Dining room!"
"OK mom! OK!"
So as soon as her and dad left the house, my sister a year older and my sister a year younger, and I went straight to the dining room.W e just wanted to feel the boxes....shake them a little, listen to what might be inside of them. So we're in the dining room doing what we weren't supposed to be doing when we hear a tap on the dining room window. We froze like deer in headlights. lol.........busted by mom!
We still laugh about it.

wed

If our census at work drops anymore they're going to start laying people off. That's what they said.
Change is a good thing, and things usually work out for the best, so I'm not going to let
myself worry about the what ifs......

I'm off for the next 3 days.
I'll probably finish wrapping the Christmas gifts.

I put my tree up. Mr. Bojangles knocks off about 3 ornaments a day.
We-Ping leaves it alone.
I hung the Christmas paintings I've painted. It makes me happy when I look at them even though they
look like a fifth graders project. :O)

Daughter takes her second ACT Saturday.
I'm praying she does better this time around.
She's been studying .......so hopefully..........

I think I'm going to take boyfriend to our little hole in the wall breakfast diner for breakfast today............if he hasn't already had breakfast.
even though  lately i struggle with myself in my own head to get out of bed in the morning, especially on my off days....because i just want to retreat to the world of the sleeping..........even though i do that, i really am happy, and grateful. 

thankful thursday

thankful today for this candy cane i'm sucking on......it's good.

daughter was afraid to go alone to her doctors appointment today.
she left school for a bit to go to her appointment. i met her there...........when she saw me she smiled a huge beautiful smile and thanked me for coming. i'm thankful i went.

wednesday

I'm taking off work tomorrow.(Thursday)

Today I finished my Christmas shopping.

Tomorrow I have to measure daughters head for her graduation cap, and then order her cap and gown.

Tonight i'm on the couch with my big, soft blanket, and a new Dean Koontz book, I'll probably stya up late
 reading.
I got my dad Mark Twain's autobiography for Christmas. I think he'll like it.

I think Halle Berry is beautiful. I wish I looked like her. I also think old, wrinkled women are beautiful. Take a good look at them.......they're beautiful.....and they make me smile.

Dad taught me to play chess when I was a little girl.
I've forgotten how to play and have been trying to re learn it on this thing. It's fun.

today is my sunday

Mr. Bojangles is in the kitchen knocking around and then chasing after a piece of cat food. We-Ping is in my bed sleeping.
I just walked daughter out to the car. She's headed off to school. She struggles academically. She's asked her teachers if she can have some extra credit work. All but one of them said no. One of them is thinking about it. I pray she graduates with her class.
Last night boyfriend and I went to sons new place. Each son was cleaning the bathroom attached to each of their bedrooms.......and dreaming aloud about their plans for the place. It's a cute place, warm and homey. The deck over looks a lake. We could hear coyotes or wolves howling last night while on the deck. It gave me the weebie jeebies. The woman who owned it disappeared. She literally can't be found, so says one of her neighbors. Her stuff was packed up, and the place was put on the market by the bank. It was a steal. All it really needs is lots of scrubbing, and a little painting.
Boyfriend and I are headed out for breakfast and then to the mall. I need to finish my Christmas shopping. After shopping I might work on a painting. I've fallen in love with painting........I wanna do a painting of my children standing on Tiki Island in the Florida Keys. They were still little bitty things, holding hands each of them, looking out at the water. I can still remember thinking how sweet they looked. So it's what I want to paint.