wed. i think

the last 9 days i've worked seven 14 hour shifts, spent 5 hours cleaning mom and dads family room,their downstairs bathroom, and i put up their christmas tree. i recruited 3 of my 4 sisters to meet me at mom and dads house a couple days after cleaning their family room to help me clean the rest of their house. i just couldn't do it all by myself. they  showed up (i was so happy)(mom and dad left to run errands and such while we cleaned) and we cleaned our butts off. but it was fun. my sister who is a year older than i am is a little ocd. so it took her forever to clean moms bathroom. and that's okay because i knew it would be the cleanest room in the house. my other sister, the one a year younger than me cleaned dads bathroom in under 10 minutes. i sent her back in to recheck her work. she was like "it's fine! it's clean! so when she went on a lunch run, me and my second oldest sister re cleaned dads bathroom. laughing the whole time, and trying to get it finished before other sister returned.  it took the 4 of us about 6 hours to clean the rest of the house and to put up the rest of the christmas decorations.
whne mom and dad came home, sisters and i went over the christmas dinner menu with mom. every year she insists on doing all the cooking. i usually stay behind after the christmas celebration and wash dishes. i told mom no dishes this year, and that she is not doing all the cooking..........we would all 25 of us eat on paper plates, drink from paper cups, and eat with plastic forks..........PERIOD!......................and i told sisters we'd each bring a dish and a desert  in a serving bowl or pan that we'd each take home that night to wash in our own homes. it took some convincing to get mom to agree, but with a recent episode of an acute congestive heart failure leaving her feeling very tired, and short of breath, she agreed to everything but said she was still going to bake a ham, a pork tenderloin, and make some roast beef with gravy.  I told her i'd wash 3 pans, 3 knives, and three serving spoons/forks............anything else was going in the garbage. she agreed......and laughed, cause she's relieved i think.........
while i was  cleaning the family room and bathroom mom's internal defibrillator alarmed...(it sounds like a police siren coming from her chest).......with her having just gone through an acute congestive heart failure, having the alarm go off freaked me out on the inside. mom panicked and her first instinct was to get up to run up the stairs to get her doctors phone number........and she was pale as can be. dad became very quiet, fear all over his face. made me feel sad for them......
i made mom sit, checked her pulse, reassured her she was okay......................i had no idea what was going on though, and i wasn't sure if she was okay or if the defibrillator was going to shock her or if she was going to pass out or owrse..........................................................when all was said and done, the defibrillator wire had cracked and needed to be replaced. mom decided against replacing it, until she changed her mind. so she had surgery yesterday morning, and came home this evening. she is doing great..............................
i didn't ask one of my sisters to help with the cleaning because she's not permitted at mom and dads unless she is working the 12 step program and clean of drugs.
i call her now and then to say hello, and let her know i love her. i don't ask questions. i just don't............people using drugs lie anyway........they live in a world of denial..............she called me the day after me and my other sisters cleaned moms house. she missed out on a really pretty cool day. (who knew spending the day with your sisters cleaning could be so much fun) it was a nice talk. it was truthful.
i had heard through the grapevine that she is going to meetings. i could tell from some of the things she said that she is clean..............and has been for a few weeks to a month or so.........in august i was certain she'd be dead within the year.................now i have guarded optimism she might  be okay.
so after cleaning moms i shopped until 2:30 am buying wrapping paper, and what food items i could buy for the christmas meal i cook for my children and boyfriend, and for the stuff i need for moms meal.........and the next day i put up my christmas tree. it's my prettiest tree yet!
i was off today. i did nothing except call mom to tell her i love her and i wouldn't call her the rest of the day so that she could rest undisturbed.......................................................................and then i watched the last 2 episodes of Dexter "fish FUCKING filet" is what his sister said today. she cracks me up!....................and i napped for several hours.
it's 8 pm. i'm hungry and going to getsomething to eat.......