tuesday

Mom has been weighing heavy on my heart and thoughts. She's so weak and short of breath. When I called her today she sounded like a scared little girl. It broke my heart.
I called my sisters and we went to mom and dads. We
Sat in the bedroom with mom talking and laughing.

I talked to dad for awhile before leaving.
He had lots of questions.
There's no easy way to answer some of the questions he asked. I wanted to protect him and at the same time I found myself feeling angry with him.
 Some of the time his need to control everything
interferes with other peoples needs wants and requests.........................................it's just hard.........the whole situation is difficult and sad.
I was honest with him in answering all of his questions.
I know he's hurting.I wish I could make all the hurt go away. I can't.
We'll deal with things............it will be ok.

A man knocked on my door today (the fucker woke me from me from a nap) asking if he could take
our old water heater. "Yes! Take it!"
I was relieved to have  it hauled away.

My teeth hurt from chewing ice.
I have to stop.