sunday

I didn't sleep very well. Mr. Bojangles woke me at 3 AM. He wanted outside. I put him out of the bedroom and closed the door. Boyfriend got up at 3:30 to go to the bathroom. Mr Bojangles came back in the bedroom and started knocking things off my table. I locked him out of the bedroom again but was not able to fall back to sleep! I love the little guy but he drives me a little crazy through the night.

I had watermelon for breakfast.
It's the first I've had since last summer.
It was so juicy and sweet. I love it mixed with pineapple,  cantaloupe, and a little salt and pepper. Yum!

I might do some house cleaning today, and a little laundry. I told boyfriend last night not to make any plans for today, that he needed to help me clean.   :O)

saturday

this is my weekend off work. yay!

i really don't have anything planned.

still under the weather. trying to rest

and get better.

the air conditioning at work

is broken. so the inside of the building feels like the rain forest.

after 12 hours in the heat i feel drained, dehydrated, and irritated.

we gave them a perfect survey. it would be nice if they'd give us chairs that aren't broken, computers

that work, and a comfortable work environment!

i have poison ivy all over my legs, and a little on my arms.

it's itches something crazy.

it burns from sweat while i'm at work.

i guess i'm just not very happy

at work right now................

Nursing is a joke some of the time.
The work load right now is so heavy
I don't know how I'm going to continue
much longer without making a big error.........or without
burning out.
The good news is that my boss told me I can
no longer take care of the patient whose family member I had words.
Maybe if I have words with a few more patients families
my work load will lighten up?  Just kidding.......
I told some of the department heads, including my boss, about what I said to my patients family.
They were thrilled beyond words. They're also fed up with her!
I have a raging urinary bladder infection. (probably from not having time to drink or pee while at work)
The spasms are excruciating. I stopped at Krogers' little clinic on my way home from work.
I was in too much pain to wait and see my doctor tomorrow.
The NP ordered some antibiotics for the infection and some Pyridium for the bladder spasms.
Hopefully tomorrow I
ll be on the mend.


PS.......if truth be told I wish I had remained in control and not said anything to my patients family............and if truth be told.....it really did feel good to say something.

tuesday

I have the day off work.
Spent hours doing yard work the other day so I might do
a little work inside the house today. I also might run to the store.
Our family had a picnic Sunday. I didn't go because I worked.........I grilled with my children, boyfriend, and father last evening. It was a good time!

Dad told me he has donated his body to science for after he dies. That we'd get his body after a year and could then bury him.
The thought made me sick. Donating organs and such doesn't bother me but the thought of dads body
laying around for a year in some school or lab horrifies me. I told him I couldn't stand the thought, that it would haunt me. So he said not to allow them to do it  in the meantime and he would have the paperwork changed.

There was a deer in my backyard yesterday eating the honey suckles. His right front leg, the bottom half was just a dangling bone.......no skin, muscle, or anything. It looked healed. He didn't seem to be in pain though I'm sure he had been at some point. I felt sorry for the little guy.

I expect a call from work today. I've been dealing with a patients family members' verbal attacks and craziness for months.
We all have a breaking point I guess. Mine was Sunday after several hours of her crap.
My words just came out.........as I was saying to her what I was saying it was like I was standing there listening to and watching myself. While I was talking I was wondering if this was the end of my job. But it felt so good I couldn't stop. It was like a sneeze, or an orgasm...........And
I'm still basking in the after glow.

friday

I have lots of yard work to today............and i'm lucky because i couldn't ask for better weather.......absolutely beautiful outside!

We went to an antique flea market last weekend. i asked daughter to keep an eye out for a cake plate
and desert dishes. i found a cake plate that came with serving plates. it's kind of pretty.

bought a new purse yesterday.
have been looking for one for quite awhile.
text daughter telling her i bought one and that she would probably be a little jealous when she see's it.
she lol'd.

work called me yesterday.
we had a perfect state survey.
it's our third in 6 years.
not only did we have a perfect survey
but it was our highest score to date.
i have mixed feelings
about the outcome.
i don't think we're deserving.......
there are problems that need to be
addressed and fixed. i worry
as a result of  our survey the problems will be ignored............
on the other hand, i work my butt off....day after day giving it my all.
so it feels good to be told by the inspectors that we are doing a good job.

thursday

daughter got a full time job in the medical field that pays pretty good and has a good benefit package.
she resigned from the library, which didn't pay very well, didn't offer full time,
and seemed more like a homeless shelter than a library.

i don't usually drink coffee. boyfriend just brought me one from mcd's
it's pretty good, and i like the caffeine!

i cleared the hill in my backyard year before last of all the honeysuckles. they're back in full bloom!
i hate them. dad says the only to get rid of them for good is to dig them out then fill the holes with concrete.
i guess i should learn to live with them!

the state inspectors should finish the inspection tonight or early tomorrow.
i'm anxious to hear the results..........mostly i'm just grateful to have the rest of the week off!

wed

i worked 27 hours monday and tuesday combined.
state inspectors are there for our annual survey.
the work load is crazy ........
i'm so thrilled to be off the next 3 days!

saturday

The kitties got me out of bed early today.
They come to my bed and meow until i get up and let them outside. if i ignore them
mr. bojangles gets on my night stand and  knocks everything off, one item at a time, pausing between items to see if i respond and continues to to do so until i get out of bed. little stink!

i'm going to look at some land today.
it has a barn, and a shack of a house.
i love the barn even though it needs work.
the house needs to be knocked down.

monday

Mothers Day was bitter sweet.
Not many people visit their moms
at the long term care facility. It's always difficult for those moms who don't get visits from their adult children. Some of them get calls from their children who make excuses for not visiting. Some of them don't hear from their children. All of them start the day with the hope and or expectation of a visit...........most of them end up disappointed, hurt, and a little sad.
It's hard to watch it all play out.

I got to see all of my children.........and spend a little time with each of them.............I love them..........

My stomach ached for my mom.
I put some pretty flowers on her grave.

thursday

A lot of my time at work is spent taking care
of the patients family..........it goes with the job........but
If you are a miserably angry, unhappy person
it is not my or any other nurses responsibility
to make things OK in your world......nor are we to blame for your miserable existence. you were miserable before your family member became ill, and probably will be after your family member is well or dead............we're not your whipping post in the mean time............furthermore.......if you want your
family member to have a private duty nurse, then hire one.......or better yet stick around longer than it takes to spread your negative, angry, destructive, energy and help to take care of your loved one.

I had fun with daughter yesterday.
We went shopping again........bought nail polish. Daughter bought a purse and she got me a pair of sandals for mothers day. they're sporty, and cute!
we also went out to lunch...........went to Noodles and Company.........both of us had the bangkok curry......it was good and fresh...........sat  outside on the patio and listened to their music while we ate.........tried to use the chop sticks but gave up!
we had a nice time.

tuesday

what i thought i screwed up at work i didn't.
huge relief!

just finished one 15 hour shift and one 12 hour shift. i'm burned out, my damn corn hurts, and i'm very happy to have the next 3 days off!

sis (daughter) vacuumed and had the dishes washed when i got home from work. silly how something so simple as vacuumed carpeting and a clean sink can make your day..........sure made mine!

sunday

boyfriend is in colorado visiting family.
daughter sleeps in my bedroom when boyfriend is gone. we stay up
late into the night talking.
it's fun.
we hung out together yesterday....... did a little shopping, looked at some new   homes, watched the ky derby, and grilled out. it was a nice day.

i've been filled with anxiety this weekend about a situation at work.  it's out of my hands at this point and so i try to let go and just face whatever happens when i go back to work on monday.
i try so hard to get it right (my job)........ some of the time i fail........and it sucks.