friday

I went to my grandma's graveside funeral yesterday.
It didn't happen though because the truck transporting the grave vault
wrecked on the interstate and the vault was damaged.
 We will try again Saturday.
We, my sisters and I stuck around the cemetery with moms sister, our Aunt.
It's an old country cemetery. My aunt took us to many of our relatives graves and told us what she knew about each of them.
It was interesting. One of my great grandmothers x4 i think was walked out of the state and to Michigan by people who did not want her here because she was an Indian. while in Michigan she met my grandfather. he married her and brought her back to KY.........:O)
My great uncle Dave is buried there.
His headstone read "father
                                  grandfather
                                 teacher
                                 coach
                                  poet"
the poet part made me smile.
I didn't know him very well. But I remember liking him.
I  remember visiting his home in Florida when I was a child. I believe he loved to cook. I remember him making a big production of preparing turtle soup and oyster soup.
It was his work of art for that moment! I remember him being loud, jovial, and very social. What I didn't know until yesterday
was he went through deep bouts of excruciating depression after his son was murdered and was treated with electro shock therapy.  Sad.

So anyway, I was supposed to return to work from my vacation this Saturday. I decided to take
the weekend off to attend the funeral, and spend time with my moms family.

thursday

Boyfriend and I spent the last several days in the Smokey Mountains.
We had a little cabin that was isolated in the woods.
When we reserved the place I told the lady I was afraid of heights, even more so
of narrow country roads with cliff like drop offs on the sides of those narrow country roads.
She assured me the cabin she was giving us was not high up the mountain........... SHE LIED!
Somehow I survived! But with lots of anxiety each time we left the cabin to go into town, or on the was back from town. The climb was very steep, the roads narrow with sharp turns, and the side of the road overlooking 20, 30 story drop offs. I hated it. I'd have to close my eyes each time we made the drive, and make my boyfriend promise to not get us killed. Luckily boyfriend was understanding, reassuring, and patient with me.
The cabin was beautiful. It had a large deck that overlooked the mountains, with a hot tub. It was peaceful and quiet. Not a soul was around.
We grilled steaks, relaxed in the hot tub, and watched for bears. And then some of the time we'd crank the stereo up, have a beer, and jammed like we were in our twenties! ( I can see my kids rolling their eyes at me.) Because some of the time you just have to let go!
While in the Smokey's we drove through Cades Cove. Cades Cove - Great Smoky Mountains National Park (U.S. National Park Service)   It's so stunningly beautiful...............I'm always awe-struck when I visit!
On the way home from our little trip we stopped at the Museum of Appalachia.

Museum of Appalachia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
It was awesome!
You need a whole day to see it all. It doesn't disappoint!





Ms. Me: grandma
Grandma passed away this past Tuesday.

saturday

I have the next 7 days off of work. I'm very grateful for the time off!
This evening I will celebrate daughters' birthday with her. It will just be the two of us
watching movies, munching on popcorn, and chit chatting! It was her idea. She wanted some alone time with mom. I'm always happy to spend time with my adult children! I'm a dork that way!

I made a Key Lime cake a year ago that daughter loved. She's asked about it a couple of times at family gatherings, and why I didn't bring one. So I'm going to make one for her for her birthday cake....AND I bought her the free standing mirror and a nice bottle of perfume. It's hard to afford nice bottles of perfume(the cheap crap should not be allowed. it can be offensive!) when you're young and just starting out on your own. So yeah, it's what I bought for her......

I have a patient, a  young man who is the most self centered, self absorbed person I've ever known. He's miserable.
His mom and sister asked me for ideas on what they could buy him for his birthday.
...........I think we should all have something or someone to take care of other than just ourselves.........it just makes you feel better.........it's good for the soul......... I suggested they get him a high maintenance plant or a fish.... or both.........he could have either of those things at the nursing home...

HAPPY 9th BIRTHDAY, little lady!

monday

I worked a couple 12 hour shifts this past weekend.
At about hour 10 of my 12 hour shifts I start to get irritable
and my motivation starts to go out the window!

I have a few errands to run today including going to the bank, talking to my home owners insurance agent, and shopping for daughters birthday gift. She has been wanting a free standing mirror........I found some at Home Goods for a really good price........so I'll head out there today!

Boyfriend hired a lawn service to mow and edge our yard each week. He doesn't want to do it any more and doesn't want me to do it.
That's fine.....

There's a little boy who lives across the street from me. I'd say he's 3 or 4 years old. His father is Mexican . The little boy has dark skin and is very little. He's the cutest little thing. He sits for hours each day on the grass next to their side porch, digs into the dirt and plays with his toy cars. I worry about him some of the time because he is out there alone. It could be though that his mother is directly inside sitting at the window that over looks the porch. Some of the time I watch him play from my front porch........just to keep an eye on him.....make sure he doesn't wonder out to the street.
Well the other day while at the store I found a box of  toy bucket and digger trucks. I bought them for this little boy. I'm looking forward to seeing him play with them today!

friday

Oldest son asked if he could take some something from my backyard to grow in his yard. I told him he could after he filled the holes he left in my front yard when he took some of my tall grasses. ( I was pissed when I noticed those holes!) So he came last evening and filled the holes, and took whatever it was that he wanted from my backyard! Him and his wife to be stayed and chit chatted with me and boyfriend for awhile.

They've decided to marry in August of next year, outside.

I reminded them how hot and humid August usually is around here and how uncomfortable that can be, especially for old people. I also reminded them how mosquito's love the humidity and biting people. But they are stead fast in the date that they have picked! I pleaded with them to change the date to early October. They wouldn't budge. So whatever.....annoys me! 

So my closest friend is a girl I work with.

While my mom was sick the last 18 months of her life, and while I was 

doing 16 hour days most days working and helping to care for my mom, friend would ask how my mom was doing.

Some of the time I'd actually want to tell her.....................but after she'd ask she'd  doze off(I don't know why she does that......wonder if she takes drugs of some kind........cause realistically could someone be so sleep deprived all of the time that they fall asleep everyday at work?) She doesn't have a condition/disease that causes it, cause I've asked.

So She'd ask, fall asleep, and I wouldn't answer. Who likes talking to a sleeping person? And what's the point.

Some of the time I really could have used a friend.

But I've learned that with her I can't really talk . Cause nothing says I really don't care like falling asleep in a persons face when they have something important they are trying to share. 

(I know I'm not explaining it right on here)......................................so now her mother is ill.........not dying............but apparently BFF called in to work Tuesday because her mom needed to go to the doctor,and needed BFF to take her.
So she called me because she is worried about having called in, and worried about her mom.
I offered emotional support to her about the calling in part but could not bring myself to ask whats wrong with her mom, or how her mother is doing.
I found that I feel resentment and anger towards my friend.
 When I have something really good that's happening in my life. or something devastating going on in my life, she falls asleep, or picks up her phone..........and yet she can go on and on and on talking about her stuff......................and I listen and ask questions......and am genuinely happy for her when something good is happening for her........and wish only good things for her...........................................................................................................
mostly I'm a private person.......I don't go on and on about my stuff........................maybe i do on here cause this is my outlet................but i don't burden other people with my stuff in real life, except with boyfriend............................................................however, there have been times when I've been exhausted and maybe in pain, or filled with worry and would have liked to share with her.......like right after my mom died and dad's prostate caner was back, and i told her.......................her angry toned response " everybody has that! no body dies from that anymore!"  nothing says shut up, like her response did! it stung!...................if you can't share the best of things, or the worst of things with your BFF, then they're not your BFF!
and besides, when you and your BFF follow each other up the interstate home from work, and your car slowly begins puttering to a stop and you frantically wave your friend over and she pauses just long enough to see you pulled over then drives off leaving you broke down and alone.....................I mean who does that and sleeps at night?!
I'm over it!

wed.

We had an awesome time last night.
I debated back and forth yesterday between having
my party outside or inside.
The weather ended up being warm and sunny with very low humidity
so I ended up having the whole thing outside.
I set 25 of my paintings out on the deck. They looked good! And all the food and meat trays turned out really nice.
I put the birthday cake on my cake plate that I bought at the antique flea market. It looked so pretty!
Everyone showed up.................we talked about the recent republican candidates debate, Ferguson and some of the other more recent shootings, Cosby,Trump, most of my nephew's and nieces, and of course mom!....&..they enjoyed looking and laughing at my paintings........during the party two fawn showed up on my hill to eat the clover. I'm glad they did. They were so cute.
It was an enjoyable night!
Boy friend took off just before the party began.
He ran a few errands and then went to the gambling boat.
He won a couple grand.
I drove my oldest sister home after the party, and then met
boyfriend here after midnight.
We sat together on the deck to watch the meteor shower.
We didn't see any!

Dad made  a little collage
of pictures of mom for each of us.
The one of her in the striped dress
is my favorite.
I like her little mouth
and dark curly hair........and the very last picture
is of her in the dress she was wearing when
her and dad married.........I'd never seen it before, so of course I love that I now have a picture of her wearing it!

tuesday

If I won the lottery I'd replace the cheap plastic cereal bowls I use for the kitties feed bowls.

I know there are 9 million more exciting ways to spend money,but still, this is something I would do!

My art exhibit/ a celebration to honor mom is tomorrow evening.

I didn't want to cook so I've ordered a meat and cheese tray, a fruit platter, and devil eggs.

I'm making a cucumber salad, a condiment tray, and a birthday cake. I'm trying to keep it simple!

I still need to clean, organize the art work, wrap gifts, and do a run to the grocery store. I've had 3 days to do these things, and have done nothing. I work best when the pressure is on!

Boyfriend just asked me out for breakfast.

I wouldn't go if I didn't need to get to the grocery store.So we'll have breakfast then go to the store.

I went shopping at Tuesday Mornings the other day. 

They have great prices on home goods and they get new stock on Tuesdays.

I bought the kitties new stainless steel feeding and water bowls. They're wider than their old bowls giving them room to accommodate their whiskers. I think they like them!

friday

Today was my student nurses last day to work with me.
She's going to be a good nurse I think. But she's going to have to focus  on the task
at hand and pick up the pace. I think she will when she has to........
I bought her some bandage scissors and some soothing foot spray (she's going to need it!) because it's customary to give our students a gift on their last day......plus I liked her and wanted to give her something!

Today was my last day for 7 days. Yay!
When I wake up tomorrow morning I will think "This is the best day ever!" Because I will be looking at that day and the following 6 days off. It's a great feeling!

I was talking to another nurse today at work about all the different languages he speaks. I think it's about 6. I asked him what language he speaks in his dreams. He said it depends on what and who he is dreaming about. So another nurse who is fluent in french said she sometimes thinks in french. I told her I some of the time think in 4 letter words.

Yesterday was middle sons birthday.
He makes me smile cause he's intense, and smart, and funny, and has a huge heart.
Boyfriend and I met him for lunch yesterday. I gave him a gift and made him a carrot cake. It was a nice time. I love the little stink!

monday

When I came in from work last night Mr. Bojangles met me at the front door and then followed me into the bedroom. He jumped up on the table that sits next to my bed. His back was to me. I bent over and kissed him on the top of his held. He tilted his head up and back and licked me on the nose. Then he hooked my wrist with his paw and licked the inside of my wrist. It was the cutest display of affection. Made my heart melt, corny as it sounds.

I have to work two more days this week then I have a week off .
I'm very much looking forward to the time away from work.
My back is tired and I'm a little burned out.
I don't think I'd have made it through the past couple of weeks
without my student nurse.