friday

Yesterday I started meditating.

I decided I will do it daily for 30 days

and at the end of those 30 days hopefully I will want to continue.

I took Mr. Bojangles to the Vet this evening.

Him and Woody fought on Christmas Eve. Mr. Bojangles had a little wound on his head that became abscessed. He had a fever, wasn't eating, and was in pain.

The doctor drained the abscess, cleaned it, and gave him his first antibiotic dose.

He's on the couch resting.

My poor baby...

Wednesday

Christmas is over, and I'm so glad!
As much as I love prepping for it, and spending time with family, I'm always relieved when it's over!
We celebrate Christmas, me, boyfriend and my adult children on the 24th. Boyfriends son is out of state and will visit early in the New Year.
We had a nice dinner, opened gifts, and then played the "What Do You Meme" game. It's a fun game but can get a little raunchy!

The holiday has been tough for boyfriend  with losing his son this past summer.
He got through it though, even had some really good moments..........

Christmas Day was spent at my dads' house with my family and extended family.........it was OK.......but as soon as my children left to go to their dads' house, I left too. I just wanted to be home.................................................I was physically and emotionally drained.................came home and put on my PJ's...............................watched "A Christmas Story".............................read up on the digital video camera son gave to me, and chit chatted with boyfriend.

I baked some sugar cookies. The little girl up the street, who really is a young woman now but I always think of her as a little girl, asked my daughter if I was making sugar cookies this year.  She has always liked them and I've always (since she was 8. She's 22 now) packed some up for her.

 ........even tried decorating them (I suck at that part)...............she stopped by on Christmas Eve to say hello and to catch up with daughter....and also to get her cookies! lol

It was nice times for the most part.
I'm glad it's over!

saturday

Daughter and I are going to see The Nutcracker at Cincinnati Music Hall today. It's her Christmas gift to me.

I'm excited about seeing it with her again!

thursday

I won the door decorating contest at daughters apartment complex!
Actually I got 3rd place, lol, but still I feel like a winner!
If I can figure out how to upload a picture from my phone, or if daughter emails me a picture of the door I will post a picture!

My sisters and I met yesterday for our annual Christmas outing.
We had lunch and exchanged gifts.
One of my sisters brought for each of us headbands with very large functioning Christmas lights across the band. We each wore them for our get together.
 It was a  fun afternoon!

Today we have two doctor appointments for boyfriend.
One with the podiatrist for the wound on boyfriends foot, and one with his family doctor.
We saw the podiatrist a week ago. He cut away some dead tissue on the wound, cultured it, gave boyfriend a pressure relieving boot and antibiotics, and ordered a treatment.
 Today he will probably do some more debriding.

Is anyone else using the online grocery shopping thing where you order online then go to the store and they bring your groceries to your car.
We've used it a few times.
As a matter of fact I have an order in to be picked up tomorrow.
I find that I don't spend as much money/make impulse buys..............plus it really is great for times when you are super busy!

monday

I cashed in my money jar. It's a 64 ounce pickle jar. I'd throw the change I'd find in the dryer, or left sitting on the buffet in it. Most of the change though came from old purses I had cleaned out.
When all was said and done I walked away with 89 bucks. :O)

saturday

A burn from when boyfriend accidentally poured boiling water over his hand.. It's almost healed.

Our skinny Christmas tree.

Furry little Woody napping.

Mr. Bojangles napping.

This is Tye my sons cat. He's the sweetest cat I've ever known. He can jump straight up about 6 feet, can open cabinets, freezers, refrigerators, and other doors.. He loves Woody.

wed.

I've been working on door decorations for daughters front door. Her apartment complex is having a door decorating competition to celebrate the holiday.
Daughters busy working two jobs right now and doesn't have time to participate. I asked her if I could decorate the door for her.
 I started the project last night. It's due by the 14th. Every time I'd plan on working on it, something would come up that couldn't take a place in the back of the line!

We're going to the doctor today.
I found a purple area on boyfriends foot that
is draining bloody drainage.
It's depressing....

We got a letter from our local police department asking that anyone who has
security cameras on their property let the police know. This way if there's a crime in the area they can use the video to help solve the crime.......            My thought is they might want to know who has video so the police know when they are being filmed doing something they shouldn't be doing...

I did a shift this past Saturday.
I enjoyed it.

I have my tree up and decorated.
I decorated with all red and chocolate color ornaments.
It's the first time I've used white lights only.
It's very pretty.
Boyfriend thinks it's too skinny!

I have all my Christmas shopping finished, and almost everything is wrapped.
I do still have to apply bows and ribbons to the gifts!

tuesday

"There should be items in your home that sing a little song
to you when you walk by."
~ Nate Berkus

My older sister mailed me this quote.

And then I saw it on  a blog.

 So I've decided to take a picture of a few things in my home that sing a little song to me when I walk by.

The picture I've named  Cow. I have him hanging in my kitchen. He's so cute to me!

My "all you need is love and a cat" sign and my  apron and pot holder, holder just below the cat sign.

Pictures of my children from when we were in Myrtle Beach on a family vacation from back when they were young. Both the boys dressed as Rambo, and daughter a pink power ranger. It makes me smile when I look at these pics of them so young and innocent.......and serious about their costumes!

sunday

I got up early yesterday to ready myself for a day of shopping with daughter.
I had cleaned the house the day before so that I would not feel guilty for spending my day shopping.
I also made sure that boyfriend had a breakfast and lunch easily warmed in the microwave in the refrigerator.
I almost finished my Christmas shopping while with daughter. I had already shopped many of the things I needed online...so that made yesterday easier.
I think all I have left to buy is a gift for my oldest sister, and cat nip for the kitties.
I had a fun day yesterday.
It's almost always fun spending time with daughter, or any of my adult children for that matter!

Boyfriend burned his hand a couple of weeks ago.
He boiled water on the stove to make an instant coffee drink. He thought he was pouring the water in his cup but was actually pouring the water over his hand( he couldn't feel the hot water on his skin. the neuropathy from the chemo is that bad..) that was holding the cup.
He ended up with a pretty bad burn and yet he refused to go to the hospital/urgent care.
We've been treating the burn ourselves much to my dismay.
I think though that it finally looks like it is going to heal without becoming infected. Huge relief.....

tuesday

Woody was outside today for about 10 minutes.
When he came back in the house he reminded me a little of Swamp Thing.
All of these leaves were in his fur mostly to his hind legs and butt. lol
He almost always comes back inside carrying mulch and leaves in his fur. But man oh man this time he was loaded down!

friday

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I hope you had a great day..

My adult children, my dad, and one of my sisters joined me for a feast!

My cheesecake turned out pretty good. I don't usually make one for Thanksgiving but boyfriend requested it. Of course I made pumpkin pie too. It's my favorite.

I invited everyone to come over today for left overs, and I sent a turkey sandwich and a piece of pie home with dad.

I have a lot to be thankful for. Mostly though I'm thankful for all of my family including my children, boyfriend, my sisters, my dad, and my kitties!

monday

So son moved in over a year ago when he sold his condo so that he could buy a house. We thought it would only be a few months but the housing market is such that not many houses here are on the market and the houses for sale sell very quickly, sometimes in only hours. Plus I think son is struggling with whether or not he is going to move to Colorado. I think he really wants to but is torn. So maybe he is dragging his feet when it comes to finding a house. I'm not sure.  His stuff is in my garage and basement. He has a lot of stuff!  It wasn't stored in a organized and neat manner and it was getting on my nerves! It  was stressing me out.
 He cleaned and organized both rooms this weekend at my request. It looks and feels so much better! I'm glad to have it done before the holidays!

Son also hung a new light fixture in my bedroom. It's really nice looking and it allows for so much more light. It changes the whole look of the room for the better. So yay!

Today we go back to the doctor to have boyfriends eye checked. It being sewn shut is causing a lot of anxiety for boyfriend. He feels claustrophobic not being able to open it and then he panics. He's not the nervous type. So I know he must really feel miserable.

Friday

I bought our Thanksgiving Day turkey the other day.
It's a big ole 18 pound bird!
I also bought a store brand bird for 37 cents a pound to use for turkey sandwiches later in the year. I think it was  7 or 8 pounds...
I love cooking Thanksgiving Day dinner. It's fun to put together a special meal for my family.
 My mom always made the best turkey.............and her table was always set so beautifully. I hope I told her how nice she always made the holidays.

I think this year I will ask daughter if she wants to help me prepare the meal. Maybe not, I don't know.....I think it would be fun. She might not though..... :O)~
She bought tickets for us to see The Nutcracker again this year. She surprised me with them when we worked on holiday crafts. I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world! I took her last year. She had a bad cold when we went though
. Hopefully this year she will enjoy it even more!

wed

We went to the urgent care the other day.
Boyfriend had an abscess that needed to be incised and drained.
We had visited his doctor a couple of days prior who had started him
on oral antibiotics. He needed them but the abscess still got worse.
So while at the urgent care the nurse checked boyfriends vital signs.
His oxygen saturation was 78% while on his oxygen. It should be at least 91%. The nurse reported the doctor would kill her if she charted that result and that she would recheck it in a few minutes.
I told her she should chart all of the results, even if the doctor didn't like it, and that if everyone only charted the normal results then boyfriends chart would not reflect an accurate picture.  I was irritated.
I'm almost always irritated when we have a medical visit anymore and I have a hard time biting my tongue...though I seldom try to anymore. ........which brings me to our eye appointment day before yesterday where they sewed shut 75% of boyfriends left eye. The surgeon was a great guy. I liked his bedside manner, and his competence. The young girl who checked us in, probably a medical assistant, was very professional. But the guy who did the second set of numbing injections (the surgeon did the first set) was a twit. He had his fingers in boyfriends eye while injecting him but he wasn't wearing gloves. My thoughts went to last summer when we had to go everyday for 6 weeks Mon thru Sun for antibiotics to treat an infection. Now this twit has his fingers in boyfriends eye. I may or may not have over reacted. I just don't know anymore but I ask the guy to put gloves on and he says to me "WHY?" I could feel anger rushing through my body. When I'm angry
or when I confront someone I stammer, trip over words,  say stupid stuff and just find it difficult to express myself. So I'm not sure what I said in response to his why. He treated me like a dummy......and I probably felt like one because of my inability to say exactly what it was I wanted to say in response to his "WHY? "  Eventually though I found my voice and shouted "BECAUSE IT'S THE STANDARD OF CARE, AND YOU KNOW IT IS! I'M A NURSE AND I KNOW IT IS!. SO WHY ARE YOU ARGUING WITH ME ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU SHOULD BE WEARING GLOVES? Dude eventually did put on gloves and apologized but only after he tried to debate with me whether or not gloves are worn to A.  protect him or 3. to protect the patient......WTF!....... ......freaking idiot........
 When he left the room boyfriend began to cry. He'd already been stressed, and now my raising my voice and arguing with TWIT put him over the edge. I felt so horrible. I felt like the twit. I felt sorry for, and my heart ached for boyfriend.
I promised him I'd quit being confrontational at doctor appointments.........unless it was needed to protect him........................
After the procedure was over I apologized to Dr.  TWIT because at that moment I wasn't sure  how it ended up that I was yelling at him.....and I wasn't sure if I had over reacted. I felt like a jerk..........and I guess I was hoping apologizing to Twit would make boyfriend feel better...................
The procedure went fine..........boyfriend is bruised and a little swollen............hopefully the scratch, or ulcer (depending who is talking) will now heal and we can have his eye reopened (one says it's permanent, the other doctor says it can be reversed in 2-3 months)
I'm so sick of the medical profession.

sunday

I stayed the night with daughter Friday night.

We tried to make some Christmas ornaments for our trees.

Unfortunately we ended up throwing away all but one of them.

We just aren't very artistic. 

Daughter did keep the least crappy one for "sentimental" reasons! lol

I think I will clean out my bedroom and hall closets today. They're a mess! If ever I build a new house (highly unlikely) I will build a  house that has very large closets, a pantry, and large bathrooms. My house was built in the 50's. The closets are so small. Actually my whole house is small! I love it because it's where I've raised my kids but man I sure do wish I had more space!

friday

We are going to the eye doctor today for continued treatment for an eye ulcer boyfriend has as a result of shingles in the eye. Our visit Monday didn't go well. The ulcer has gotten bigger despite the placenta tissue (not sure of the medical name) placed in the eye and covered with a lens. So today we go to see the eye surgeon for a pre-op visit. They will be sewing closed boyfriends eyelid from the outer corner to about halfway for a minimum of 3 months. The eye has to be kept moist in order for the ulcer to heal. Sewing it shut is the answer to keeping it moist.
My heart aches for boyfriend. He's been through enough! This really does suck.

This evening I'm going to daughters apartment to do some holiday crafting, and to have dinner. I'm looking forward to it. We will listen to good music, and we will chit-chat while we work. :O)

Yesterday was one year since I quit smoking, again! Yay!

I have a roast in the crock pot for boyfriend for supper tonight while I'm gone.

I'm bruised and sore from falling the other day. I was bringing in the trash can when the lid fell off, I stepped on it and went sliding down the incline of my driveway and then fell. My biggest concern at the time was whether or not anyone was watching. I didn't see any of my neighbors outside so that made me feel a little better!

Wed.

My older sister text me this morning asking if I wanted to hang out together today.
Boyfriend wasn't feeling great physically or mentally so I almost didn't go. But I felt like I was running on empty, not a good feeling, so I made the decision to go with my sister.

 Sister and I  went shopping and out to lunch.
I bought a new Christmas Tree and some new ornaments. The tree is ultra slender. My house is very little. So this tree should be a perfect fit!
I also bought a couple of shirts, some ear buds, Christmas cards, a 2019 calendar (it has pictures of cats and kittens), and a bag to cook the Thanksgiving Day turkey in.....

It turned out to be a nice day.

I was in a much better place mentally when I got home, boyfriend was too............

monday

So the lottery is at a billion dollars plus some!
I have my tickets.
Someone has to win. :O)

thursday

We had a wonderful time (I wish they were still here! I miss them already!) during a visit from boyfriends brother and sister-in-law. While the guys were out doing their thing one afternoon, boyfriends SIL and I went to an antique store I had just found the week prior but hadn't yet shopped. While there I found this old cast aluminum pot. It's huge and heavy! 

I checked online how to clean it when I read that some of the time these pots were used for stuff other than cooking such as draining car fluids in, and bathing. The thought grosses me out. So now I'm not sure if I should use it for cooking. It was 14 bucks. I found a couple for sale on Amazon for 48/53 bucks. So I guess I got a good deal.....unless I don't use it!

I made some salmon patties today to have for lunch and for tomorrow to take to work for lunch. I don't make them often even though I like them. 

I think he's cute and cuddly!

Me and 2 of my sisters cleaned dads house a couple of days ago.

It looks good! He had an aortic aneurysm repair, repaired last week and did really well.

tuesday

So boyfriends family is coming for a visit this week.
They gave me a weeks notice, something I asked for.
I wish though I would have said give me a weeks notice but before
you book a flight talk to me first.
I was scheduled for a 12 hour shift on the day they arrive, and boyfriend has 2 doctor appointments on the day they leave.
It makes it all a big juggling act that makes it feel stressful when it really should just be fun. So I'm trying really hard to just go with the flow...I am looking forward to seeing them!
 To boot,  I talked to my dad yesterday. He had an aortic aneurysm repair a year or two ago..... the repair is leaking..  They've scheduled him for surgery for this Wed to repair the repair.  He wants me to be at the hospital with him but asked that I not tell my sisters about the surgery until after all is said and done. He doesn't want them missing work  or having to juggle their schedules.
I was going to use this week for getting things ready around the house for company.  Now though I'll  use today to get things ready and hope it stays that way until Friday.
Seems nothing is ever easy anymore................

I spent yesterday painting the railing around the front porch and I also gave the porch floor a good washing with soap and bleach. I cut back all the tall grasses, something I usually wait until Spring to do but I got tired of looking at them. :O)~.....looks so much better.....
 The whole front of the house looks so much better.

sunday

I received a snail mail letter from one of my favorite work friends.

She's an 80 year old, African American woman, a nurse, mother, and a widow early on in her marriage. She's a smart, strong, independent woman. I love her.

I haven't seen her in at least 2 years but probably it's been closer to three years.

She was one of the staff members let go several months back when the facility let go most of the PRN staff. She was a hard worker and filled in frequently if she was in town. 

She was a competent nurse and a loyal employee. That loyalty was not reciprocated. 

It's too bad too. She was an asset to the company.

But anyway, she sent a very sweet letter. It brightened my whole week! I was so happy to hear from her and touched she took the time to write.

Family is coming from Colorado the end of next week.

So I have a lot of things I want to get done around the house the next several days.

I'm looking forward to their visit.

We went (boyfriend and I) to the Kentucky Wool Festival Friday.

Mostly it's arts, crafts, and food. Then of course there's the sheep and all of the wool products.

Last year they had nice wool blankets.

I regret not buying a couple of them. I looked for them this year but 

didn't see them. They were a deal for ten bucks!

We had a funnel cake while there.

I haven't had one of those in decades.

It was so good!

Saturday

President Trump repulses me.

thursday

I'm doing  something productive everyday no matter how small or inconsequential it may seem to someone looking in.
 It makes me feel better about myself.
Boyfriends eye was doing better (he has shingles) until our last visit. The ulcer on his cornea was worse, but the swelling was better. The doctor said it's a juggling act right now trying to reduce swelling with steroids while not causing the ulcer to get bigger from using the steroids. He put a eye band-aid in boyfriends eye over the ulcer and plugged the eye to help keep it moist.
The cornea specialist also sent us to see the retina specialist just to make sure the retina was ok. We waited in that office for 5 hours.
At hour five I lost my patience, found a staff member who I yelled and cursed to about the five hour wait. That they would think such a long wait is appropriate boggles my mind. To add insult to injury the specialist seemed pissed that we were even there. "Why are you at a retina specialist when the problem is with the cornea?" The five hour wait then seemed like punishment for being there when the retina doctor obviously felt like it was a waste of his time. There were a million other places we would would have rather been! We did not ask to see this asshole.
I don't know if his question was rhetorical or not. But I explained to him that boyfriend was having bleeding/blood in the iris from swelling, had a corneal ulcer, is type 1 diabetic, and so the other eye doctor wanted the retina to be checked to make sure it was ok and wanted this guy to assess the possible need for an injection in the eye to stop the bleeding.
I told that office that I would never recommend them, and as a matter a fact I would tell every person I know what a crappy experience it was being seen at their office.  (woo! , I told them...lol)
The medical profession would label me a difficult family member. Even though I had a perfectly legitimate complaint. It's how they do things and it's wrong. Some of the time I hate the whole medical profession.
I just felt sorry for boyfriend sitting in that exam chair for 4 hours (1 hour in the waiting room) freezing cold, sugar dropping, back hurting, slowly dying, & patiently waiting  for some egotistical asshole who comes in and treats him like a bother. It still makes my heart hurt and makes me cry when I think about it.

But anyway.......on a more positive note.........I pulled a bunch of tomatoes off the plant yesterday and used them in a salad for dinner. They are so good!
Kitties are well and content.
I painted a little picture of a dog of a you tuber whose cooking show I follow. SHe just seems like a sweetheart of a person. I painted it on a postcard that I will send to her today.
The painting isn't very good but hopefully she will like it anyway!

monday

I made the Oxtails.
They were so fatty and greasy. I should have trimmed the fat
off of them.
They weren't terrible but they weren't great
either.
I'm glad I tried them but won't be having them again!

I finished an on-line course I've been working on.
 Feels good to be done with it!
I also finally finished cleaning all my windows (not counting the windows upstairs), curtains, and got my new curtains hung.
While opening one of the dining room windows, folding it inward so that I could clean the outside of the window, I heard a loud pop. Part of the glass pulled partially out of the frame.
 I'll call the window people today to schedule a visit from them to fix the window.
There's always something!

I dusted yesterday. (I hate to dust)
My ophthalmologist
said he was surprised I
could cross the street without getting myself killed
my vision was so bad. (I didn't know it was that bad until I had the first eye fixed.)
Now that I've had the cataracts removed, and had
my nearsightedness moderately corrected I am seeing dust in my
house I didn't see before. It wasn't pretty! lol
So yes, I dusted yesterday. It looks much better now!

Now something much more serious.............................without going into much detail because it just feels wrong for me to do so..........the coroners' final decision, even though she was "absolutely certain" boyfriends sons death was a suicide, has in the autopsy report (after getting the toxicology report) marked his cause of death as natural, not suicide.
Boyfriend, though still devastated, seems to be dealing better with his sons death since the cause of death was changed. The whole suicide thing was horrible to try to figure out and heart and soul crushing for boyfriend.
I'm confused by the whole thing though........and question some of what I read in the autopsy report vs. other facts.

saturday

I'm making Oxtail stew for supper.
I've never had it before.
The old cook at my work used to make it for
our residents. It looked and smelled delicious.
Our residents loved it. All of them would have second servings.
I've been meaning to make them. Today is the day I guess.
I have them cooking in the crock pot.
I don't like the gravy, I gave it a taste.
I'm debating whether or not to strain them and start over with
gravy the way I would do it instead of the recipe I followed. I don't know!

Little boy patiently waiting for someone to let him outside.

He's watching me work! He's so cute to me!

friday

I've spent the last couple of nights cleaning my house.
As I clean each room I'm also  washing windows in that room,  the curtains/ shower curtains, and in the kitchen the inside of the refrigerator.
It feels good to get close to getting it done!

Today boyfriend and I are going to go to the track to watch the horses race. You can spend the whole afternoon there, bet on each race and only spend 12 bucks. The atmosphere there is fun! 

sunday

I work one day a month now. I have to.
The facility I work for terminated all of the PRN staff
for not picking up enough days. (this was back in Feb. or March)
They were gracious enough to allow me to continue my
employment even though I had only worked 2 days the past year.
I told them I could manage 1 day a month. They agreed to that schedule for me. I pick the day.
So right now that's what I do and will continue to do as long as boyfriend needs me at home.

I'm not a good non-working person. (1 day a month isn't really working.)
I've become very lazy at home.
I don't like who I see. It's not me, even though it is me!
I'm not only lazy, but I feel isolated and I have too much time on my hand that I use
to worry about EVERYTHING. And when I do work, I don't feel like I'm on top of my game anymore.
I find myself having a difficult time concentrating, feel easily overwhelmed, and become frustrated and agitated.
Then I go home and worry that I've made a mistake at work. I'm so incredibly sick of worrying. It's exhausting!

If boyfriend was to leave me due to illness, if he was called to heaven, I'm not sure I could go back to a full time nursing job.
I just don't think I could do it anymore. I wouldn't want to do it.
I don't have a real plan in mind for if the worst happens.
I do think about it though and know I need a plan.

monday

I bought a new computer.
The one I was using was around 10 years old.
Most of the time the space bar didn't work, and the frame around the screen
was falling off. It was a pain in the butt. So I broke down and got a new one.
I got one with a larger screen. I like the screen!

I also bought a couple of books.
One is a Mary Higgins Clark book, the other is a James Patterson book.
I've read many of both of their books. They're fun, easy reads!

I made pancakes for breakfast this morning.
One secret to good pancakes is adding a couple tablespoons of sour cream
to your batter.*/999 <(that was Woody walking across my keyboard!) The sour cream
makes them fluffy and tender.

It rained here all weekend. Not a light summer shower either. We've had heavy downpours and major thunder. Poor Mr. Bojangles spent most of the weekend under the bed. The thunder scares him!
I loved the thunder storms and rain. We'd burn a few candles in the evening, and enjoy the sounds.

Boyfriend has been being treated for Herpes Simplex in his eye for almost a year I think.
One doctor discharged him a couple of months ago, told him he was cured......but he still had all the symptoms. So I took him to a cornea specialist. She said he definitely still has Herpes and severe swelling. She put him back on an anti viral and moisturizing drops. She will start the steroid after the anti viral does more of it's thing. His eye has been red for many months, and blurred. Essentially he can't see from that eye right now. I feel bad for him! If it's not one thing, it's another!
Between my post-op eye drops and his 10 X's a day eye medications it feels like I administer drops all day long! (The neuropathy in his hands from the chemo is so bad that he does not have the fine motor control to administer his drops.)

monday

I did some shopping yesterday.
It was fun!
It's been awhile since I've shopped just for
the fun of it.
There's nothing like a little retail therapy to get the
 serotonin flowing. lol
I bought a bunch of wax cubes to melt in my way burner....
 love those things. The sugar cookie wax smells delicious, like you have cookies in the oven!! I also bought a Pecan Pumpkin cake candle. I have it on my table by the bed. It sure smells good!
I bought the doctor my daughter works for a little gift and a thank you card.
She examined my eye when after surgery I couldn't see. Her work day was over but she stuck
around the office (the last thing she wanted to do I'm sure!) until I could get there to be examined. She did it for free.
It was very thoughtful of her. I
Bought new curtains for the living room, a new shower curtain liner and tub mat.......and I also got some cute, disposable, tableware for Thanksgiving.
I'm not washing all of those dishes anymore! A girl gets tired, you know?
The last thing I got was a pair of earrings from TJ Max. They weren't expensive. But they sure are pretty.
Yes, a little bit of shopping definitely lifts my mood...:O)

I love this little guy.

Thursday

The vision has returned to my right eye. It's still a little wonky but that's normal and will improve with time. My left pupil is abnormally large. The doctor says it's from the eye drops and is not permanent.
I hope he is right.
My right pupil is still very small and not very reactive. When the room is dark that eye does not adjust. So I really can't see from that eye in the dark. Again, my doctor says it's from medication he used on it after surgery and it is not permanent. When those two things correct themselves I will relax!
The good news is the doctor says I could pass my drivers license vision test now.........but that I will probably still need to wear corrective lenses while night driving.
We will see. On the other hand he did give me a temporary prescription for corrective lenses to use for now........that my vision will continue to improve over the net several weeks.
I ordered a very cheap pair of glasses from online since I should only be using that script for about a month.
I'm not very patient.
I want it all better now!

saturday

I had my second cataract removed.
It wasn't so easy this time.
Basically all I can see is light and outlines of objects in front of lights.
It's from the swelling my doctor says. I had a second opinion for my own peace of mind. She says the same thing. So I'm told to give it a few days to a week and my vision should return as the swelling improves.

wed

It's been 9 months and a couple of weeks since my last cigarette.

I'm proud of my accomplishment. 

Never again do I want to be a smoker.

tuesday

Sunday was moms birthday.
I met 3 of my sisters at the cemetery and afterward we went out to lunch.
I wasn't much in the mood  but had an OK time.
After lunch I went to the antique store with my youngest sister.
I love that place. We browsed for quite some time.
I  like the old suitcases and purses.

saturday

Boyfriends CT scan was unchanged.
That's good news!

I had cataract surgery day before yesterday.
 It was easy for the most part!
I can't believe what I've been missing out on as far
as colors go! Everything is so much brighter and prettier, especially the colors!
I'll have my other eye done in a couple of weeks. I can't wait!

monday

Happy birthday to youngest son!
We had the family here Saturday to celebrate..
It was nice having all of my adult children here!

Boyfriend had a CT scan Friday.
We don't have the results yet. We expected a call from the doctor
today. Maybe he will call us tomorrow.

tuesday

I woke to thunder and heavy rain.
It's such a pleasant, relaxing sound to me...
I joined boyfriend who was already on the porch having his coffee.
We chit chatted for a bit/just sat quietly and enjoyed the weather before I had to take the garbage to the curb as today is garbage collection day.
I debated while at the curb whether or not to take a little wood table/stool from my neighbors garbage. I didn't but I am still thinking about it. I can't help myself. I look at it and I see so many possibilities. :O)~
Yesterday evening I went out back to gather tomatoes. My drug selling neighbors now have 2 pit bulls and a friend staying with them. The dogs were in their backyard. They barked and growled at me. Now mind you boyfriends favorite medical assistant was just attacked by her 4 year old pit bull. She raised it from a pup. He tore off the bottom part of her leg and did significant damage to her arm as well. Her husband was also attacked while trying to save her. He cant move his arms (I don't know why), and will need skin grafts to his face.
I'm afraid of pit bulls as it is, even more so now, so I just went back inside the house without my tomatoes.
Guy next door took his dogs in this morning. (they barked all night while left outside in the rain.)
 So I went out back in the rain and pulled the tomatoes that were ready to be picked. I also cut a bunch of sunflowers and brought them in to put in a vase.
There's something great about eating the stuff you've grown yourself. It tastes so much better I think......and when I look at my pretty sunflowers in the vase (a wine bottle I painted with daughter) I can't help but smile.
                                                               

This is oldest son. For whatever reason I'm not afraid of his dog. He's just a big over grown sweetheart of a baby.

 I think they are starting to look alike! lol

I have a very cheap cell phone. I think it was 24 bucks maybe. I pay 25/month for my plan. I'm a tight wad! The alarm on my phone is not dependable. So I bought this little alarm clock. It also has an hour timer on it.

I use this bad boy on work nights. Love it!

Daughters cat. I think it's so pretty!

He's so rotten!

Thinking about my mom......

saturday

Lets see.........had a great day with boyfriend yesterday. We left the house in the morning and didn't arrive back home until 9 or 9:30. We had breakfast out, shopped, watched horse races at the track, did some gambling, hit for 600 bucks then 400 bucks (boyfriend did), had a nice dinner, listened to nice music by a live band.....good stuff from the 60's and 70's.............................the whole day cost us nothing which made it even more fun......met and talked to some really nice people while out. it was fun! ............................................it was good keeping boyfriend busy..........................................................he cries everyday...........he's still trying to wrap his head and heart around his son passing away........................................................today was a bad day for him..............i feel helpless for the most part................yesterday though was so good we forgot that boyfriend was scheduled for a CT scan at 5 PM.....we've never missed an appointment...............I'm so happy we forgot that fucking (not apologizing for cursing. some of the time cursing is the best medicine.)test...............we are so sick of doctor appointments. if we had gone to that test we would have missed out on a great evening. so fuck that test!


long story short i have a cataract in both eyes and will have them removed next month. i'll also have a astigmatism corrected. its a quick, safe procedure. my biggest concern is whether or not to correct my nearsightedness. if i have it corrected it i will then need readers. so i'm back and forth about what to do....looking forward though to not feeling like i'm looking through smoke all of the time!

tuesday

Mr.Bojangles from when he was young. He looks kind of scruffy in the first picture. He was a Mothers Day gift from middle son. I had my choice of him or 1 of his 2 siblings . Two of them were black, one was orange. I took the orange one then changed my mind when I looked in Mr. Bojangles eyes and could see him pleading for me to take him. He's my best friend.

This is Tiki guy. He's from my mom and dads yard in the Florida Keys. My neighbors bought it at dads yard sale. I bought it from my neighbors. (I didn't know dad was selling it.)

 I always felt like he was good luck!

This is Weeping from when she was a  kitten. She was from a Feral cat outside my work. A patient found her in a window well like area in the heat of a hot July day. She snuck her in the building and hid her in her room for a couple of days. Eventually I took her home and bottle fed her for many weeks. We also treated her for fleas. She was infested. She was one and a half pounds her first visit to the vet.

 Boyfriend adored her with all of his heart. So did I.

Our neighbors liked her. Many of them would stop to talk to and pet her. Her sweetness attracted people to her.

Daughter used to drive me crazy with the messes she would leave on the stairway to her room. I miss her messes some of the time! 

A couple of my favorite pictures of Mr Bojangles

wed

We had a wonderful last week surprising boyfriend with a visit from his brother and sister-in-law from Colorado..
I took him out for a day of fun at the horse track/casino/dining.
His family surprised him by showing up there.
Boyfriend cried he was so happy to see them.
We had a week of activity and fun with them including a wonderful fireworks show in our backyard. It was awesome.
I'm grateful for the great time.
On the morning our company left we received the news that boyfriends oldest son took his own life.
We talked to him on the phone the evening of.........everything seemed to be OK......
Boyfriend left for Colorado today. I'm staying back because daughter is having surgery that can't be postponed...and  because I'm too afraid to fly. No need to beat me up for staying behind. I'm doing that myself.
My heart aches for boyfriend.
I'm back and forth between being so angry at his son for doing this, regret for not seeing any signs that he would do this, and sadness for what he must have been going through.

saturday

My cat Mr. Bojangles knows when it's check up day at the Vet. He can sense something is up from the very start of the day. I always play casual like everything is normal, but he knows. He's not your ordinary cat!
  We had to reschedule his last two appointments because of our inability to catch him.
He hides under the bed or in some dark corner of the basement. If he's really lucky he darts out the front doors and stays away until his appointment is over.
So this time I put him in the carrier then called the Vet. "We caught him!" They gave us the OK to bring him in......I felt pretty bad about trapping the little guy. I had to keep reminding myself it was for his good.
The next day we took Woody. With him we left the car door open and called him. He came and jumped right in the car.
 He's so flipping adorable!
Both of my kitties were down and out for about a day and a half after getting their shots (we also got their nails trimmed) but now are back to normal. :O)

I dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom, and did the laundry today. I also changed the beds, and Windex ed the mirrors, TV screens, and front and back storm doors.
It looks nice, and feels good to have it clean and tidy.

My Lilies are looking very beautiful!

The tomato plants are doing well.

The Bell Peppers are growing.

Some of the ripe tomatoes! I had them with my breakfast!

My Green Beans are looking a little frail. I'm not sure what the problem might be. I moved them. Hopefully that will help!