I work one day a month now. I have to.
The facility I work for terminated all of the PRN staff
for not picking up enough days. (this was back in Feb. or March)
They were gracious enough to allow me to continue my
employment even though I had only worked 2 days the past year.
I told them I could manage 1 day a month. They agreed to that schedule for me. I pick the day.
So right now that's what I do and will continue to do as long as boyfriend needs me at home.
I'm not a good non-working person. (1 day a month isn't really working.)
I've become very lazy at home.
I don't like who I see. It's not me, even though it is me!
I'm not only lazy, but I feel isolated and I have too much time on my hand that I use
to worry about EVERYTHING. And when I do work, I don't feel like I'm on top of my game anymore.
I find myself having a difficult time concentrating, feel easily overwhelmed, and become frustrated and agitated.
Then I go home and worry that I've made a mistake at work. I'm so incredibly sick of worrying. It's exhausting!
If boyfriend was to leave me due to illness, if he was called to heaven, I'm not sure I could go back to a full time nursing job.
I just don't think I could do it anymore. I wouldn't want to do it.
I don't have a real plan in mind for if the worst happens.
I do think about it though and know I need a plan.
The facility I work for terminated all of the PRN staff
for not picking up enough days. (this was back in Feb. or March)
They were gracious enough to allow me to continue my
employment even though I had only worked 2 days the past year.
I told them I could manage 1 day a month. They agreed to that schedule for me. I pick the day.
So right now that's what I do and will continue to do as long as boyfriend needs me at home.
I'm not a good non-working person. (1 day a month isn't really working.)
I've become very lazy at home.
I don't like who I see. It's not me, even though it is me!
I'm not only lazy, but I feel isolated and I have too much time on my hand that I use
to worry about EVERYTHING. And when I do work, I don't feel like I'm on top of my game anymore.
I find myself having a difficult time concentrating, feel easily overwhelmed, and become frustrated and agitated.
Then I go home and worry that I've made a mistake at work. I'm so incredibly sick of worrying. It's exhausting!
If boyfriend was to leave me due to illness, if he was called to heaven, I'm not sure I could go back to a full time nursing job.
I just don't think I could do it anymore. I wouldn't want to do it.
I don't have a real plan in mind for if the worst happens.
I do think about it though and know I need a plan.
2 comments:
Perhaps one avenue right now to battle the "lazy" feelings would be to sit down and think of a job you could do at home, even if it is a bit of a "dream job" that is not easy (like perhaps writing a novel or a non-fiction book or being a painter or sculptor or whatever sounds exciting). You could then "pretend " this is your JOB and do it to the best of your ability without worry of harming your current situation. And, not only would it give you a creative avenue... it could be a test run for you to actually accomplish that dream. At worst, it may not work out as a dream job, but it would give you an outlet and purpose so you would not feel "lazy" anymore.
Pipe Tobacco
Thanks for the advise, Pipe!
It's helpful and it's very nice
that you took the time to respond in such a thoughtful way.
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