Thursday

The buyer of my old house will do a final walk through today. We close tomorrow.
I went to the house first thing this morning to check that everything is ok.........and everything was fine.
I told the house goodbye, again. I even kissed the wall and thanked the house for being a good home to my family. My heart ached some......
 I also felt compelled to take a picture of the view from my old bedroom window, kitchen window, and dining room window.
I put the old house keys in envelopes to take to the closing tomorrow along with the code to the garage door entry pad. I have a few numbers/warranties to get together to give to the buyer tomorrow.................and I still need to do a thank you note to give to my realtor.........and I plan on writing a note (he needs to know about the time capsule I put under the driveway 25 years ago and to call me if he ever replaces the driveway) to the buyer.

Today I'm going shopping and out to lunch with my sister a year younger. She doesn't come to town often. I'm looking forward to hanging out with her.
 She just called and said her husband is coming with us. WTF! I told her that sucks! Because it does. She hasn't responded.

Tuesday

Do you ever feel like your time here on earth is running out? That's how I feel.
 I don't want it to run out yet. I still have more to do.
 I'm not exactly sure what that "more" is but  I want to find out and do it.
rttttttttttttt5ZXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccz              Mr. Bojangles just walked across my lap top.........he paused for a minute and typed the t's x's c's and a couple other things.

I called about shutting off all the utilities at the old house today. The new owner to be has already called to have them all turned on the day of closing.
This I learned while talking to the different utilities. I'm glad the buyer is on the ball! I hope he takes care of the house. It's a good house.

Monday

The 3rd flower pot from the left contains some of my Morning Glorys. They have sprouted! The 2nd pot from the left are my Sunflowers. You can't see them but they have sprouted as well. The 4th pot has the piece of Aloe Vera I got off the floor at Lowes. It's hanging in there!

My beets are the only veggies. that have sprouted....

Boyfriend knitted this cap. He didn't think he did a good enough job to give it to his son even though I tried to talk him in to it.........I think he did a great job. 

I gave the hat to his son after boyfriend died.

 He loves it. :O)

saturday

I had a dream last night that I won't soon forget.
 Daughter was a young child again of 5 or 6 years old.
We were hiding from government workers sent out  to collect and then kill the citizens.
We were hiding on the floor between the bed and the wall and then under the bed. Daughter was singing. I told her that we must be quiet. She wouldn't quit singing and I remember deciding to allow her to sing because I knew we would be found and killed anyway. The fear was intense. I remember telling daughter that when they came for us to keep your eyes closed. I thought keeping our eyes closed would make it less scary. The next  scene we were standing in front of the government workers/soldiers who were all pointing their guns at us. They began shooting and I knew daughter was gone. I remember thinking how I wanted to comfort her.....I went to her and the shooters began shooting at me again but....I knew I could reach her foot so I did and I kissed her foot. This enraged the lead shooter. I was glad it enraged him. I hated him. So when his rage flashed across his face I gave him the middle finger. It felt good even though I could feel the pain from having been and from being riddled with bullets. I lay there wondering why it was taking so long for me to die. I had been shot more times than I could count. I could feel the pain, and I could feel my body shutting down but it seemed to take forever...........then I woke ...........

Friday

Today I went to the old house and packed the last few things (lawn mower, small table, hose, dolly, and some plumbing stuff) and brought them here. The only thing left is a ladder too big for my car. Son is going to get it and take it to my dad for me.

Middle son is going to live with me starting today for 9 days. He's between places. The new place isn't available until the 2nd! A  short term stay is ok by me. But just short term!

I worked in the yard today raking mostly and pulling a few weeds. I didn't know what to do with the rose bush. I've never cared for one before. Really I should have read about it but I didn't so I just trimmed it up...........a lot............hopefully it will survive.

Tuesday

I started some of the veggies , flowers, and other things that I plan to have in my garden this year.
I'm most excited to grow Rosemary this year. I love the way it smells!
Something
 else I haven't had in my garden before that I plan to grow this year is spaghetti squash. It's one of my favorite foods so I will try to grow it..................the other stuff I  planted today was

1. brussel sprouts
2. beets
3. red and green peppers
4. 2 different types of hot peppers
5. morning glorys
6. sun flowers

Last summer things were too chaotic and busy to have a garden.
It's sad to think about it...................
Boyfriend knows how much I enjoy having a garden. He would want me to do it. I hear him telling me to do it.

Monday

I didn't do much today because I have a bit of a cold and was feeling tired.
I did manage to measure my front window and door. The front of my house is bland...........I thought I'd make it a little prettier by adding shutters..............................................and I bought a pretty window box. I'm not sure yet if I'll use it out front or if I'll use it in the back for the garage window.

This past fall I planted 50 or 60 tulips to honor boyfriend in a small way. About 42 of those tulips have sprouted.
It makes me happy.
I'll post a picture in March or April after they bloom.

thursday

I slept for almost 5 hours again last night.
It feels good to get some sleep.

My housework is caught up so I don't need to do any of that today.
I made my last trip down to family probate yesterday. They have been very nice and helpful. The people at the DMV, excluding the Tyrant supervisor, have also been pretty nice. As far as I know though I'm finished with  them.

I went with daughter last evening to look at a house.
It's in my neighborhood. It's a cute little house. As a matter a fact I think it's under 600 square feet.
It has a cute front porch, and a nice backyard.
It needs work, and some cleaning but the price can't be beat.  She made an offer. I would love to see her get this house!

Woody is up in his window watching the neighborhood wake up..........and Mr. Bojangles is sitting next to me. They are doing okay.
The day that boyfriend passed away Mr. Bojangles sat on boyfriends desk that night and howled........
It was heart breaking.

I just have to say how much I love/ loved boyfriend.
He was my best friend, my love, my warmth.......
I also have to say he loved me and he never let me forget it......he thought I was beautiful ( i'm not) and he never let me forget that either...........................things were stressful some of the time the past 4 years since his lung cancer diagnosis................some of the time we would argue..........................we never stayed mad though for long, never............and over the past couple of years we made amends when needed to be made and we were quick to apologize.
We had a code word picked out for after he died to let me know he was ok.
The day I drove home after picking up his ashes I passed a black van painted in chalk paint (the ugliest vehicle I've ever seen) with our code word in bold red letters on the side........it took me by surprise so I looked in my rear view mirror to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing and there it was again on the back of the van ......................and in that moment I felt like boyfriend was ok...........................since then I've been asking him for more signs  :O)

Tuesday

I was very surprised when I woke this morning, looked at the clock and it was 6:30. Yay!
I jumped right in to doing a couple of chores. Took all the throw rugs and table cloth down to laundry. Started a load of laundry and cleaned the litter boxes.
I hugged, kissed, and petted my kitties. Mr. Bojangles started a few weeks ago with licking my hand and wrist. Just a couple licks and then he goes on his way.

In my new house I have a window above my bed.
I'd say it's about 6 feet up, 19 inches deep and 5 feet wide. It faces my side yard and where I park my car. When I come home Woody is usually there waiting on me. He's there now keeping an eye on things.

I have tennis elbow.
It started when boyfriend was still alive. I think loading and then unloading his wheelchair in the car several times a day, packing and lifting during and after the move, and trying to use the weed eater is the cause.
I've tried doing exercises and icing it to no avail.
I guess I'll have to talk to the doctor.

My neighbor Ray came over the other day and introduced his self.
It was nice of him to come over.

The appraisal of my old house is today.
I hope it all goes ok.

monday

I have a few errands to run today including going to drop some paper work off at the probate court. I hate going there. It fills me with anxiety.
I also need to buy some stamps. I keep forgetting to pick some up.
And then daughter has been looking at condos and houses. She's thinking about buying. Last night she found a new listing near here. I told her I'd do a drive by today.....peek in the windows even if it's empty and let her know if it's worth scheduling an appointment.

Last week they did the inspection on my old house.
It went well.
I don't want to jinx things so that's all I'll say about it!

friday

Today was a tough day. The good thing is I know tomorrow will be better.
I'm emotionally and physically exhausted.
I look forward to some sleep.

monday

So I have a new contract on my house. The guy agreed to my counter offer.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it  works out this time.

It's 3 AM.
I'm up for the day. I was hoping for a full nights sleep last night.
I did a 12 hour shift yesterday after a poor nights sleep and was sure I'd sleep the night through. I guess the universe had other plans.


Work was chaotic yesterday.