sun.

My daughter sends about 30,000 text messages a month. Is that normal? Text messaging drives me nuts. I can't stand doing it. I don't have the patience for it.

I ran daughter to the store yesterday morning. She was out of pay as you go minutes for her phone and you'd of thought that her world was about to end. I was still in my pajamas with uncombed hair and unbrushed teeth. But it was urgent because "everyone is texting me and I can't text back!" So to the gas station store we went.
While she was in the store I sat in the car..........and as I sat in the car I could see in my peripheral vision a man walking towards my car.........I was thinking why do I do this! Everytime I do this I run in to someone...............so the guy gets to my car window and I'm still hoping that if I don't look at him he won't be able to see me. You know?
 He says "hey." I exhale with relief when I hear his voice. It's my middle son. He was nicely dressed for a meeting at work............and he talked to me about what was going on at school. He was happy,  handsome, and working hard.............and headed somewhere in this life. I felt proud of him...........

Court date for Dude, the guy who ran over my son, is approaching. He's not in trouble for hitting my son. He's in trouble for driving without insurance, without a drivers license, and for failure to appear at the first hearing. They didn't do a sobriety test on him, and I don't know why. I'm certain he was drunk or high. The best I can come up with is that Dudes neighbor is a cop. Maybe they're friendly with each other?
But anyway, I may or may not tell the son of a bitch off when I see him, assuming he shows.

saturday

Daughter took "the most perfect prom dress" back. She changed her mind about it. So we shopped the other evening, trying on dress after dress, but wasn't able to find what probably doesn't exist. We'll see.

Mom and dad have been out of town. So I spent the other day at their house cleaning. Every table top, bookshelf, desks, and several walls are covered with pictures that reflect their life up to this point. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at them. But dusting them sucked!

I went to the animal shelter the other day with boyfriend. I really liked one of the dogs and one of the kittens. Maybe I'll go back and get one of them.

thursday

My final HIV test is negative.
It's a big relief to say the least.
The guy whose blood I was exposed to passed away a couple months ago.
Initially after the blood exposure I resented the guy. But only for like 1/2 a second. I didn't really know him.........................and then one night I was in the ER of  a trauma hospital. Son was hit by a car while riding his motorcycle...............and as I paced, asked questions, and went from one door to another, a young guy walks up to me. I recognized his face as a resident from my work. His mother had taken him to the ER for whatever reason......................but he walked up to me after observing some of what had transpired with my son. The young guy gave me a hug. I felt more grounded, and more in control after his hug.......................... and his thoughfulness touched my heart................................................and over the past year I got to know him........we joked and played around with each other............... I had  these maternal feelings for him............................I watched out for him..........made sure he had what he needed.....................I spoiled him................and I respected his mother for being everything a mother should be.                                            I smile when I think about him.             I hope there's a heaven. He'd certainly be there.

and that's all.  

monday

This is my 3 day "weekend."
I slept today away.
Boyfriend took daughter to, and picked daughter up from school allowing me to continue to sleep.
I'm presently taking antibiotic/anti-inflammatory ears drops for bilateral ear infections. I think it's part of the reason I've been so tired lately.
Before the sun hid for the night I spent some time on the deck with it. It always makes me feel better.

friday

Spent the last 5 hours at the mall with daughter and a friend of daughters. This is the 2nd time in the past month that daughter has tried on every prom dress in the mall. And FINALLY she found THE dress! YAY! It's kind of a funkie, 60's retro ish dress. I wanted to see her in a understated, quiet colored, Cinderella like princess ish dress. But she's not me and has a mind and taste of her own..........................so....................funkie like it will be. I think she'll look absolutley beautiful.
We had a fun evening! I got some great perfume at Dillards marked 70% off the price.........I think it was an error made by the store. :O)

friday

Today I will p/u daughters letterman jacket, assuming it is ready.................they aren't going to put her bars on the sleve or the graduation year until after next months sports banquet. The lady doing the work on the jacket wants to put those things on at the same time so that the measurements are perfect.
I hope she loves it. She hasn't noticed that her letters/bars are missing. So it will be a surprise.

I also have to go to the bank and to the drug store........&.........I still need to clean out my bedroom (not going to clean today).....................................................and then when daughter gets out of school today, she wants me to take her to the mall to look at prom dresses.

FOr right now though I'm going to snuggle up against boyfriend who is napping in my bed......and I too am going to nap.

thursday

I ended up sleeping away the day. Not because of depression or as a way to escape reality, but because I was tired. I got up to get daughter from school, and I hung out for awhile on the deck with We-Ping. It was a gorgeous, suuny day.
The sun on my face felt great. We-Ping loved it on hers too.

Boyfriend, daughter and I had a candelight dinner prepared by me......................and then daughter looked at prom dresses online while I went through my jewelry box and boyfriend watched tv.

I'm thinking about adopting another cat from the animal rescue center.
Boyfriend said he'd go with me tomorrow to have a look.

I have a cake baking.
Boyfriend wanted one..me too...so I have a yellow cake baking, and I made homemade chocolate icing.
The anti depressants make me want to eat. The n0t smoking makes me want to eat.  YOGA. WALKING. I hope they save me from myself. :O)

thursday

SO today I plan on cleaning out my bedroom and hallway closet................and I also plan on cleaning out a junk drawer in my dresser and 2 junk drawers in a bed side table. I'm going to pack up much of the stuff and store it in the closets in the empty bedroom upstairs..........................and then I'm going to throw aWAY the dressers in my bedroom and buy something new to use.
I also plan on hanging the new curtains I bought for the empty upstairs bedroom..........................................................or I might take a nap because I'm really sleepy.

wednesday

I went to the doctor today.
He agreed to increasing the dose of the anti depressant. I feel better already.

I had my final HIV test today too. I've been putting it off out of fear. But my need to get on with my life
was greater  than my fear. I'm tired of worrying.......I just want to put it all behind me..........and so I had the test......................................................

tuesday

So I didn't get a write up for calling off from work. I don't know why, but I didn't.

A doctor I work with was rude to me. Actually he threw a tantrum while talking on the phone to me.  I work, and I work very hard.............and I always go out of my way to help the doctors, to asst. the doctors, and to make things easier for the doctors. Including the doctor who was a nasty fucker. So after he was a rude nasty to me, I decided I would no longer go out of my way to make his life easier. I don't have to do those things for him. It was something I did out of the kindness of my heart........and as a professional courtesy.
 I put an end to it.
Today at work when I didn't do for him the things I usually do, all those nice things I do to make his day easier, and smoother............he got pissed.......he couldn't deal................and threatened to report me to my boss. So I encouraged him to report me.  I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was simply putting an end to the benefits he took for granted.
 FUCK HIM.

sunday

I woke this morning with an unbearable headache. Just when I thought I could no longer stand the pain, boyfriend was here with Motrin.
The combination of Motrin, pain, and dehydration from 3 days of GI "problems" knocked me out for 3 hours. I felt a lot better after waking up........
So  I ran to the store for boyfriends birthday present and cake&  I made Fettuccini Alfredo and a salad for his birthday dinner.
It was a early dinner, daughter did the dishes........and i'm back in my gown and robe.......and sons sport socks because i'm chilling..............and I'm ready to go to bed early............hopefully I'll feel waaaaaay better tomorrow, even though I'm going to be written up.......

friday

I'm sitting on the bed next to We-Ping. She's licking my elbow. Cracks me up...
I called off sick from work today. I have a fever, stomach pains, and I had a headache that hurt so bad I could hardly stand it. When I go back to work
I'll probably get my first write up ever for call offs.
I'm crossing my fingers that I feel better tomorrow.
I'd love to get outside and rake up some of the mess I still have out there from when I had the trees removed.............and there's a gully in the back of my back yard that needs to be cleaned out.

thurs.

I only worked for 8 hours today. I left 5 hours early because I had chills and stomach pains. The perfume that one of my co-workers and one of my patients family members was wearing just aggrivated the sick feeling in my stomach. The smell was awful.
Perfume should smell nice. It shouldn't offend the people around you & it shouldn't linger for hours.
But anyways, I felt like crap so I went home.
And now I'm going to bed...

w

Boyfriend and I took daughter to school and then went out for breakfast. We both had several errands to run, so we did them together.
Daughters letterman jacket is in.......I took her letter and school bars to the shop to have them sewn on the jacket......she doesn't know.....looking forward to surprising her though I'm not sure if she even wants a school jacket anymore. We'll see.

tuesday i think

So today I did my banking AND paid next months bills. I went to the grocery store, and I took daughter and boyfriend out for supper. After supper I went to watch daughter cheer at the HS basketball game. It's the tournament to decide who will play in the state championship game.
We won......we kicked butt, we rocked.................one more game and we're on our way to the state finals.

The 4th time that the cheerleading sponsor walked past me she smiled and said hello. I couldn't say to her what I wanted to say so I just looked at her and said nothing at all.

Tonight I'm going to wrap myself caccoon like in my comforter on the couch, and I'm going to read until I fall asleep.