thursday

My final HIV test is negative.
It's a big relief to say the least.
The guy whose blood I was exposed to passed away a couple months ago.
Initially after the blood exposure I resented the guy. But only for like 1/2 a second. I didn't really know him.........................and then one night I was in the ER of  a trauma hospital. Son was hit by a car while riding his motorcycle...............and as I paced, asked questions, and went from one door to another, a young guy walks up to me. I recognized his face as a resident from my work. His mother had taken him to the ER for whatever reason......................but he walked up to me after observing some of what had transpired with my son. The young guy gave me a hug. I felt more grounded, and more in control after his hug.......................... and his thoughfulness touched my heart................................................and over the past year I got to know him........we joked and played around with each other............... I had  these maternal feelings for him............................I watched out for him..........made sure he had what he needed.....................I spoiled him................and I respected his mother for being everything a mother should be.                                            I smile when I think about him.             I hope there's a heaven. He'd certainly be there.

and that's all.