just because i love it. (3 of 3)

Last Breakfast (2 of 3)

Last school function (Senior Class Breakfast) together other than graduation ceremony practice.

page 83 (1 of 3)

So a couple of years ago while looking with daughter at her new year book, I commented on one of the guys in her class. I told daughter I thought he was cute. Especially the picture of him on page 83. Daughter was on the phone talking to this guy and she told him "mom thinks your picture in the yearbook is cute." The guy was in the yearbook on several different pages. He said to daughter "is your mom talking about the picture on page 83?"
I thought it was hysterical that he knew the page numbers of where he was pictured. So since that day, I refer to him as "Page 83." His real name is Travis. He's a nice young man. He likes when I run in to him and call him Page 83.

Pictured above is what daughter did to his car (senior week prank), what he did to daughters truck, and a picture of Page 83 with daughter.

friday

I shopped yesterday for some new clothes to take with me on our trip to Colorado. I'm so looking forward to our trip, to time off of work, and to meeting boyfriends family.

I finished the work yesterday on daughter graduation gift. It turned out nice and I think she'll love it.

Next week will be filled with house cleaning, yard work, and cooking for daughters graduation party scheduled for  next Saturday..........and we'll attend her graduation next Friday evening.

Daughters week has been filled with Senior class activities. It's an exciting time for her and her classmates. She comes home to bathe, dress, and some of the time she eats.................and then at the end of the day, she sits with me and fills me in on the days activities.
I'm glad she's having fun!

monday

I took the day off from work. I'm a little sick but will be fine in a day or two.

I had a productive weekend.
I mowed the lawn, planted some oriental grass and some more flowers, stained the deck floor, trimmed some hedges and cleaned my car windows and trunk.
It feels good to be done with it.

Today is officially daughters last day of school. The rest of the week is filled with fun Senior Week events and Graduation ceremony practice. She's looking forward to the weeks activities and to closing this chapter of her life.

wed

Baby Zuri born at the Cincinnati zoo. She's so cute!

The principal of the school daughter attends was terminated today.
I feel vindicated. I haven't had the opportunity yet to talk to daughter about what she's feeling.
Enough said though........:O)..........except that I bought a cake today so that we can celebrate this evening with daughter.

I framed a prom picture of daughter and put it between mom and dads front doors. I wasn't sure if they were home, and if so I worried they might be napping and didn't want to wake them. So I stuck the picture between the doors.
Mom called after she found the picture. The phone call was touching. Moms voice was filled with emotion, her voice breaking as she expressed her love for daughter and how beautiful she thought the picture was..........made my eyes water and my heart smile and ache all at once.

tuesday

I usually like my time alone. Tonight I wish I had company.
I argued with boyfriend this week. I argued with daughter too.
I don't handle conflict well. It's my nature to be peace keeper.
I don't think the conflict with boyfriend and daughter is the reason behind my not wanting to be alone though.
I've had fleeting thoughts this week, and last week of wanting to run away.
It's not something I'd ever really do.......( if I disappear from a mall parking lot, or while walking to my car in the morning, it means I've been abducted.)
So why my discontent?
I'm worrying I haven't lived my life to the fullest............and maybe I've let my fears and insecurities dictate the way I've lived my life.
I've wasted time.
I don't know where to go from here.......and I don't know what any of this has to do with me not wanting to be alone right now............

Last Dance

Daughters Senior Prom is tonight. The" Meech" promised me he'd drive the speed limit, and that he would not be drinking. Not that I had any reason to believe he would be.

The prom ends at 11:30 p.m. and then the kids run home to change and go to the school gym for after prom. They'll be on lock down until 4. a.m. After prom events are kept secret.......but it's always a big to do.
I hope the prom is wild, fun, and romantic...........and I hope that daughter enjoys every minute of it. (i love her. it's her last school dance ever. it's bitter sweet watching them grow up. she looked beautiful tonight!)

Mr. Bojangles

Today is Mr. Bojamgles first birthday. We got him some beef jerky.

Happy birthday my soft, furry, sweet friend! I love you.

wed.

So the woman who called daughter a fucking cry baby bitch last year sent daughter to in school detention today because daughters jeans had slits on the front of the legs. She's worn those jeans at least every other week this whole school year without anything ever being said to her.. ....Other girls wear the same type jeans. Woman said to daughter "YOU turned me in. Now I'M turning YOU in!"
So daughter went to the in school detention room. The teacher in the in school detention class is my cousin and an old high school friend. He laughed when daughter told him why she was sent to him. He thought it was silly and sent her to the English class that she can't afford to miss.  Woman found out he'd sent her back to her class, raised hell with him and insisted that daughter serve the ISD. He went back to daughters class, had a laugh with the English teacher, and took her back to detention. I don't see the humor in the whole situation.
I worry about further retaliation from this woman. I worry daughter will be pushed to the point where she will say something that will prevent her from participating in the graduation ceremony. I worry, and I'm sick of it.

We don't need to be shown the pictures of Bin Ladens dead body. We don't need to be celebrating in the streets his death. It's barbaric.

A couple weeks ago one of my coworkers patients told me I have no idea what a difference I make in her life. She said I make her feel like she matters. She does matter.
Another of my patients told me I make her feel safe. :O)

sunday

A coworkers son was murdered a week ago. Coworkers first name is the same as mine. I get to work yesterday and one of the night shift workers wraps her arms around me and tells me how sorry she is for my loss. I kinda pushed her away............pushed away the very thought........
It freaked me out a bit.
And then  she was  happy that my son was alive and well.......and then back to feeling pain and sorrow for our coworker whose son is gone.


Daughter showed up at my work yesterday. I heard my work friend say "there's Em!" I looked up to see daughter walking toward my desk. The last time she was at my work was 11 years ago when I brought her to work with me on "Bring your daughter to work day." But there she was with one of her girlfriends and a couple dozen pink tulips she brought to give to me.
I was happy to see her! She looked happy and HAPPY! and she had a little mischievous twinkle in her eye.................anyway......I loved having her show up unexpectedly.

My legs are aching.
Mr. Bojangles is lying on them.
His body heat makes them feel better. :O)

my baby

friday

I got up early to watch the royal wedding.
It was pretty.
I think Kate's sister looked beautiful. Fergies daughters may have been "sticking it to them" for not inviting their mother. How else do you explain their choice in hats?
I loved the queens yellow coat and hat.
Kate and William looked genuinely happy. So congrats to them!

Boyfriend and I went shopping yesterday.
I bought a headband for daughter to wear to the prom.
It's very pretty. I also bought a few more things for her graduation party. (I can't wait!)

I was talking on the phone to my dad today.
He asked if sister is using drugs.
He already knows the answer.
I think he just keeps hoping for a different one.

I met oldest sons girlfriend for the first time this past Easter/and oldest sons birthday.
I liked her a lot.

same old

I slept most of the day. My head hurt and I didn't want to go to the store for Advil, so I tried to sleep the headache away.

My new dilemma at work is  I feel like everything I say will be taken out of context or misconstrued. I feel insecure, worried, and guarded while at work. It's miserable.

Tonight I paid bills, balanced my check book, organized daughters resumes, community work papers, and transcripts......and I cleaned out my purse.
Right now Clean House is on the TV. I can't believe the filth, and piles of crap/clutter that people will live in.............I feel sorry for the children that grow up in the messes they show on this show.

Boyfriend and I are have plans to leave early in the morning. I'm not sure where we're going or how we will spend our day. We just know we want to get out for awhile. I'm looking forward to morning.

Daughter and I hung out this evening.
Mr. Bojangles doesn't like her. He hisses at her. She hisses at him. It's funny.

spring day

When I got home from work last night boyfriend, sons, and daughter were here waiting to celebrate my birthday with me.
We had a nice but short sweet time together.
Daughter baked a birthday cake for me. So now I know she can make mashed potatoes, bake a turkey, and bake a cake. :O)
Sons and boyfriend bought me an Android. It's kind of cool. I haven't taken much time yet to really check it out!

This morning I went to the DMV to pay property tax on my car, and to re-new my car tags..........and then.....

I worked in the yard today. I did everything that I should have done last spring or summer but didn't do because I was in a funk like depression like type of place.
It feels good to not be in that "place" anymore for the most part....
It felt good to be productive. But now I'm filthy dirty and too tired to shower. :O)     It was beautiful outside in Ky. today. So it was great spending the day in the sun.

I took a couple pictures of We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles, of a dandelion (because when I was a child I'd pick them and blow the white fluffy stuff off of them.), and of some crates I'm going to use as tables on the deck. I'm not finished painting them.....almost though....Tiki Man has seen his last days I think!