Crazy in Divorce

One of the doctors I work with, and who I've known for a couple years, came to work today with moist, red, swollen eyes. I've noticed that over the past few months she's been withdrawn, and has been losing weight. I've known something is wrong, and kinda just let her know that I'm concerned and I''m there for her if she needs to talk. So when she came in today all snotty nosed and red eyed I again let her know that if she needed anything, or just wanted to talk to let me know.........later in the day she pulled me aside to tell me her husband wants a divorce, has been seeing another woman for several months, and he says there's no chance of working things out. She's crushed and feels she is 'losing it." My heart goes out to her. I know she is going through one of the worse times of her life. I really tried to listen to her, and I hope I said some of the right things to help her.
One of the things she said to me is "I'm not strong like you"............I wanted to tell her that while I was going through my divorce (just before, during, and after my divorce) I could only sleep on my couch, dining room floor, or in my car (yes, some of the time, though very rarely, I actually slept in my car) I could NOT sleep in the bedroom!I didn't tell her how after my first Christmas alone I left my Christmas tree up until August. I couldn't bring myself to take the fucker down.......My friend Lisa would call periodically to check on the status of the tree, and she thought it hysterical that it was still standing .When a man from the bank came to appraise my home, in August, and my christmas Tree was still up, I know he had to think I was some crazy lady, but I didn't care enough to take the tree down, and I don't think I cared enough to come up with some sort of story for it still being up.I also didn't tell her how I developed a fear opening my mailbox and my mail. I forbid the kids to bring the mail in the house. I'dpanic if they'd bring it in and I'd make them take it back outside to the mailbox. I'd call my sister to come over, bring the mail in, sort through it, write checks to pay bills, and throw the junk away. While she was doing this for me I'd close myself in another room, turn on music so I couldn't hear her working, and wait anxiously for her to finish the job...........and then when I became too embarassed to ask her to come do the mail thing for me, I'd check all my accounts online or via the phone, and pay them that way. I could not bring myself to open mail or the mailbox. The very thought made my palms sweat, my heart race, and stomach sick! I hated the mailbox and whatever might be in it! I'm not sure what exactly I was afraid would happen if I opened the mail, or the mailbox for that matter.... It's crazy! I knew it was crazy, but I couldn't control it..... and I still don't completely understand it.....but it happened! Over time I worked through my fear..........at first I was able to open the mailbox then slam it shut....nad then I was able to look through the mail, but I'd have to throw it back in the mailbox......then I was able to let the kids bring it in the house, but they had to put it on the counter by the door...&....then I was able to bring it in the house myself, but I couldn't open it ........eventually I was able to open it but not able to mail out my payments in the provided envelopes.........and at some point I was able to do all the things normal people do with their mail. I'm not sure when I got to that point, but I did..........and at some point I quit sleeping on the floor or couch and started sleeping in my bed again. .....and I take my Christmas tree down on New Years Day (although I havne't yet this year, but only cause I've had a cold and a stomach thing.....................I forget what my point was, or if I even had one..........oh........divorce will make you temporarily crazy whether or not you're strong..............but even so, she'll find out she's a lot stronger than she thought she was.....and she will get through it in her own time, in her own way. Most people do.....