New Years Eve

I called the administrator of my work today and declined the job offer. I have no regrets. :O)

I have no big party plans for tonight. I have to work in the morning, and I'm on call. So it will be a quiet night at home. I've already showered, and have on my new fleece Christmas pajamas. I guess I'll get in my warm, comfy bed and read.

The calls from work have already started. One of the 3-11 nurse asst. just called from work to see if she can leave at 8pm. She said she has a party to go to. I told her no and that she should have requested the day off.......................but in the spirit of the holiday, I told her if she became ill during her shift then she should call me back, and I'd see what I could do for her.

The kids are at their dads house. Daughter is having her boyfriend over, middle son isn't sure yet what his plans are, and oldest son is at his apt. with his girlfriend and they aren't sure how they're going to bring in the New Year. I called them all to wish them a happy nEW yEAR AND to remind the boys not to drink and drive, that I was available to pick them up after 12mn, or at anytime if need be.

I wanted to call my parents and tell them Happy New Year but I can't do it..................I feel on the verge of tears and I'm afraid they'll say just the thing to break that emotional dam......and I can't even explain where it's coming from. I guess it's a holiday thing.............. So Happy New Years mom and dad. I love you both.

I havent given much thought to New Years resolutions.
What I'd really like is to learn how to be honest with myself and to quit justifying/making excuses for those things/people who I allow to bring me down. Life is short. I deserve to have my needs and thoughts, and wants and wishes to be acknowledged, and met...............rather than be made to feel like I am somehow selfish, or like I should be punished, or ignored because of those needs, thoughts, wants and wishes. I'll explain it someday.