shallow jane

On the drive home from work today I was thinking about all the reasons I should take the job that was offered to me at work. And the only reason I could come up with for taking the job, was bragging rights. I wanted to be able to brag inside my own little head about getting the job. The other reason I want to take the job is so other people at work know it was offered to me.......not to them, but to me. How shallow is that........and it's not very good reasons for taking a job. Usually when a challenge presents itself, or is handed to me, I feel so alive, and charged up and ready to go..................I LOVE A GOOD CHALLENGE...............and this job may be exactly that...........but I just can't get excited about it. No matter how had I try, it just doesn't excite me. I know I can do it (atleast I think I can) and I'd do it well.............and a part of me wants to show everyone just that....................but a bigger part of me thinks fuck it, do I really need the headache. I have to give them an answer tomorrow. I hope they don't hold it against me if I tell them I don't want the job.

I read 2 of the 3 books that I bought the other day. Both were entertaining..............i'm presently reading the classic.........it's ok. I don't think I was meant to read the classics. I try so hard to like them that they become a chore...............and then I end up feeling like there's something lacking in my intellect.......screw it!