my drive home

I was driving home from work thinking about the up coming child support hearing...............and then my thoughts went to my marriage, except for it wasn't really my marriage that I was thinking about....it was the horrible months leading up to the divorce, the divorce, and the bads times after the divorce.........I thought to myself that I don't want to think about it anymore......it's like re-living the death of someone you love.....................and I have re-lived it over and over again in my mind.........I'm tired of it.........................so I was grasping for a happy moment thAT my husband and I had shared. Not that we didn't have happy times, because we did ..........but while driving home today I couldn't think of one right away.........I felt desperate to think of a special moment. If I couldnt do that then it would be as though none of it ever happened, like that time of my life didn't exist................and then that time in my life with the kids would just fade away.......it's a time that I never want to forget. I started crying. I was like "FUCK! YOU HAD A 20 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM! THINK OF SOMETHING!" And then I remembered.............................I was getting out of the shower as he was coming in to the bathroom. We started talking. He took a towel off the towel bar and he toweled my body dry......................................just one of those things that people do together that may or may not mean much at the time. We take so much for granted. I relaxed after I thought of that moment.

My cousin taught at the university of chicago the same time barack obama taught there.... They use to hang out and have a couple beers together. My cousin says he's a nice man. I'm not sure I'd vote for him, but I think it's cool that my cousin knows the guy.