sunday

Middle son went to his dads house atleast several months ago, and hasn't been back. I mean he's been back for family cookouts, and Mothers Day, and stuff like that, but he hasn't spent a night here.

It's what his older brother did too......... whne he was 20 he stopped coming home from his dads house, and then stayed with his father until he moved out on his own.

Middle son is 20, so he's old enough to decided he doesn't want to float between mine and my exhusbands house anymore..........and we told him after he turned 18 he no longer had to float between the 2 houses, but he did anyway.... at 20 he's more than old enough to decided which house to park his self at while he finishes college, and until he makes a move out own his own.

The thing that I have the problem with is that I feel like they left without saying good-bye. Because I didn't know they didn't plan on coming back................and maybe they didn't know it either.................maybe they just postponed coming home a day or two....and then that day or two turned into a month, and so on. I still feel cheated. I feel like I deserved a good-bye....a thank you maybe.

So lastnight daughter moved from her bedroom to her older brothers bigger, better bedroom. The room was filled with sons trophys, books, clothing..............we moved all his stuff to daughters room.............and visa versa. I cried.

A mother should know when her child is moving away from home. She's earned the right to tell them good-bye, to help them pack, and to cry if she feels sad.

And that's what I did lastnight.

I cried.

Because when I was boxing up all his old trophys I was remembering my little, skinny, mischievous boy....and I found an old GI Joe tucked away in one of his dresser drawers.....and a hot wheel box with a handful of hot wheels still in it.........and I missed my little boy........ I couldn't help but wonder where the time went........and when did my little boy that I loved so much become a young man.