rip, terri

A friend from HS, not someone that was one of my bff's, but a friend non the less, passed away yesterday. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 8 years ago...........was given 18 months to live........and has fought everyday since then to live.
What I remember about her is her beautiful smile and her wit. Plus she's the girl who stole the heart of the first guy to steal my heart. :O) I tried to not like her but it was impossible!
When she was first diagnosed, a group of girls who still were/had been friends with her made a decision to get together with "T" monthly.
I went to the first and second dinner and then decided I felt like a gawker.........I didn't go back...........I prayed for her and her family..............and I got updates through the years from my sister( one of T's bff) on T's progress.......and I kept up with what & how her children were doing..................T was one year older than me............I'm not sure how old her husband is................but I remember that while I was a senior in HS he was a student teacher to me........................he once said to me while I was goofing off in class (not something I usually did) that "you're different from most of the students in this school. We expect more from you." I can still hear him saying it, and can still see his face while he said it........................................he's now the school vice principal.................. a nice guy....and seemed to be a very loving husband........... I wish for him peace and happiness.
I'm sorry T was ill for so long...........she didn't seem to be caught up in self pity.........she just set short term goals & fought ............&  the love she felt for her family sustained her for a very long time............rest in peace, Terri. We love you.

week day

Dear BP
FUCK YOU.

Before I went to bed  last night I checked the online court docket to make sure I knew exactly what time
the guy who ran over my son was due in court.
Yesterday afternoon my dad called me to remind me what time the guy who ran over my son was due in court.
This morning when I got out of bed, I again checked the time Dude was due in court, and I also checked
to make sure I was going to the right courthouse.
I get to the courthouse, wait awhile. His name isn't called.
The security guard at the court house is an old friend of sorts, so I ask him what should I do.........I mean I'm not exactly
proficient when it comes to criminal courts and such. Security guard tells me to go to the clerk, I do.....and find out Dude's court date is in July. WTF!

So last evening I'm sitting on my porch working on a painting. I'm feeling content and happy. I had my earphones in and I'm listening to and singing along with Jewel. There's a soft breeze, and the sky is pretty. We-Ping was sitting next to me enjoying the occasional attention I bestow on him............it was a great night.........so I'm sitting there painting and I see my mom and dad pull up and park. They get out of the car and ad says something like "I didn't know you were an artist!" And I was like "Am I? News to me!"
Mom steps over the mole/mouse/whatever one of those things are that We-Ping brings to me daily........and she hands me an envelope. I open it thinking it's probably pictures from the Memorial day picnic. After every family gathering dad drops off/snail mails an envelope of a few pictures to each of the sisters and their families......so I'm thinking it's pictures.
I open the envelope and it's a check for a thousand bucks .........I didn't understand......parents say to me to use it towards my bathroom if I want.................I tried to explain to them that I save money......work really hard at saving.......don't need for them to give me money.....................that I was OK financially........never late with a bill, etc...................so that's what I tried to say. But I became tongue tied & burst  into tears instead.  I was overwhelmed by gratitude.........

I completed the painting I was working on.........framed it........and I'm giving it to mom and dad...........I figure if they hate it they can hang it in their laundry room or garage.

The BR guys were here for 12 hours yesterday.
I had hoped they would have achieved more than they did........but maybe they just got off to a slow start.

tuesday

SO today I went to Lowe's and picked out the flooring I want for my BR, and the tile for the walls. I also picked out a new vanity. I love the floor.....love it! I presently have a marble floor. I hate it, and have since the day we put it in......bye bye you ugly ass marble floor!
 The wall tiles I like but I'm not 100% sure how they will go with the floor. There's a touch of turquoise           in the tiles. It's what I liked about them.......I was back and forth between those and another tile, but ended up with the turquoise.
 The vanity is black with a white bowl. It's pretty and smaller than the one I have in there now...my BR is very small so I scaled down the vanity.
I'm happy excited about getting the room done! The workers are supposed to be here at 7 am. We shall see!

I'm reading a new Koontz book. I've only managed to read a chapter, but I'm hooked.
I plan on sitting in the sun and reading the book tomorrow,
assuming it's going to be clear and sunny! Otherwise I'll probably start a new painting. Either way I'm looking forward to the day.

monday

Daughter just sent me a text. She's at physical therapy. She sent a text to tell me she is now able to lift her leg without help from anything other than the muscles in said leg. so              yay!

 Today I have to go to Lowe's to pick out the tile, flooring, and vanity for my bathroom. All i'm  having done, since doing the whole room would cost me a fortune that i don't have, is having a new floor put  in...........the wrap around the tub removed, new green board put up, walls around the bathtub tiled, replace present vanity, new exhaust fan/ceiling light, and the bathtub resurfaced...........................and then  paint the doors, trim, and woodwork.

I sincerely believe that I have the ugliest BR in the USA. If anyone had an ugly BR contest, I'd win.    I'm embarrassed when company goes in there.............  I'm very much looking forward to changing it!

pets

Picture of We-Ping nad Mr. Bojangles from today. Mr. Bojangles looks a little scrappy!

pumpkin and tomato

To the left is my pumpkin vine. The orange flowers are closed. I can't seem to catch them while they're opened up......must be really early in the morning. They're really quite pretty!
To the right is one of my tomato plants. It's doing  well compared to my usual!

tiny treasures

So when I'm under the deck pulling weeds,

cleaning up brush in the woods at the edge of the backyard, or just working in the yard.......well some of the time I'm lucky and find treasures! Little pieces from my grown childrens childhood.

Today I found the purple bucket, a Hotwheel, a frying pan, a Thomas The Tank Engine ball, and an old catnip toy.

I remember my children playing with each of these toys.

I really do love finding these things, cleaning them up, and putting them in the house.

sunday.....i think.

I'm having breakfast on the deck.
We-Ping is with me, as is this computer.
I'm having toast with peach butter jam.
I bought the jam at Cherry Point Farm and Market while in Michigan.
It's delicious.......and I also bought a jar of Apple Butter for my mom and dad. Mom says it's the best she's ever had.......so if you're ever in Silver Lake Michigan...........it's a cool farm..........AND they make great jam...............

Daughter just left to go to Coney with her cheer leading "little sister" to go swimming. I sent her with Advil because I know that leg of hers will be hurting. She can do her exercises in the water though.......might be less painful.

I'm not sure what my plans are for the day.
The weeds next door are choking out some pretty orange flowers in it's back yard. I was thinking about going over and digging out a couple of them.  And I might start in on that load of gravel/river rock or whatever it is that has partially fallen from empty yard into mine........starting to think the city/bank/whoever is responsible for the property is just going to let it continue to deteriorate.........the back door is open.....I was curious about the inside so my nephews  a couple people I know said they went in to have a look and that  the interior of the house is nice......a shame to let it just sit there and rot!

I'm off.........gonna dig in and get some yard work out of the way!

sunday

I bought a new mailbox today.
I bought one like it after my divorce but my father
replaced it with a mailbox that's attached to a stand/pole/whatever you call it.
I never really liked the one he put in for me........mostly because he did it without asking......
and I felt a little insulted that he removed the mailbox I had purchased and took the time to place.....
I know he meant well, and was motivated by love.........god bless him......and all the parents in the world who try so hard to do nice things for their grown children..........
So today I worked on hanging my new mailbox.
I no longer have a mailbox in my front lawn. Yay!
I hung it (the new one) on the wall of my front porch next to the front door.............and it's protected from the elements
by the awning.
I hope it doesn't fall down.
I felt proud of myself after I completed the job..........oh, and I changed the furnace filter today. That's always a big thing for me. Something so simple that makes me feel so good after I remember to do it. :O)
I also resprayed some weeds and grass that I want to kill..........................but my biggest feat for the day was putting in 2 stepping stones in the backyard. They're right below the steps from the deck to the backyard. I bought them 2-4 years ago............FINALLY I can mark them off my list! They look good.
I grocery shopped today,& went to the garden center for mulch and topsoil.............................and I also took the time to sit in the pool (an8x8, 3 foot deep pool).........I soaked up some rays (wore sunscreen) while I listened to music, and relaxed in my baby pool! It was a blast!
After the pool I chopped up all the fresh veggies and fruits from the grocery store and put them in Tupperware bowls........and cooked a little supper..........................daughter had supper with her brothers and her dad at her dad's house.
I still have 3 goals to meet while on psych leave vacation.
1. Get all my important papers such as my will, insurance, divorce, taxes and such filed/organized and put in the new file cabinet I bought. (God forbid I should die. My family wouldn't be able to find anything!)
2. Replace my bathtub, put in a new exhaust fan in the BR, and a new BR floor. I have 2 men coming to look at my BR tomorrow.
3. Get a pedicure. I've never had a professional one. I want one! Is that shallow?
I have 17 more days off of work. I want to paint another picture, read one more book,and spend more time on fixing up the yard.
I hope I can enjoy my life as much as I have the past couple weeks, once I get back to work.( Dear God please let it happen!)
I miss my patients, and I miss my co-workers.........I'd rather be a rich non-working lottery winner........
but I accept my reality.........and I'm going to try to do good.

PS...........in a couple weeks it'll be 1 year since i quit smoking. :O) i never thought it was possible!

BP sucks

 Fuck you BP.

friday

It's been a busy past few days.
The day usually starts with taking daughter to physical therapy.
I only stop in to say hello. They were using me to take her through some of her exercises.
Or at least they used me once. It hurts my back.......and I'm on an extended "vacation" ...........so.........
Now I stop in to drop off daughter and to say hello, and then I leave.

I had a couple handsome, young, men remove the chain link fence that surrounds the flat part of my backyard.
The Honeysuckle trees were taking it over. I couldn't keep up with those fuckers anymore. Half of them were growing at the vacant house side of the gate.......but they were weaving through the fence as was the woods/vines/honeysuckles, at the back of the yaRd. And empty house has a load of river rock/some kind of stone leaning on the gate. The weight from the rock is distorting the gate. My gate? Empty house gate? Notsure but,
I finally thought FUCK IT! And called in the troops to remove it!
They removed it yesterday and my yard already looks 100% better!
I cut the empty houses side yard because it was so overgrown it was making my house look like poo...............I talked to the city code enforcement office........and saw them up at the vacant house a couple days ago.........hopefully
they're tracking down the bank/owner of the house and will get someone out here soon to clean up
the rest of the yard.

This morning I went out back to check on my pumpkin vine. I was in my PJ's, and barefoot. I stepped on something that ripped an inch thick piece of meat from the bottom of my foot.
I had nothing to put on it except antibiotic ointment and a panty liner. :O)
So I dressed, took daughter to therapy, and then went shopping for peroxide, and gauze. I also bought "cartoon" niece 2 onesies, and the cutest green hat........and I got my oldest sister( cartoon nieces grandma) the cutest leopard print reading glasses and case from the dollar store. She's always losing hers.........and I know she'll like the cheesey leopard print!

Yesterday I went to Lowes to get some topsoil. I've
been looking for window boxes for at least several. So everytime I go to Lowes I check out their window boxes. I have never been able to find the boxes that are "just right" until yesterday! They had 3 of them. I bought two! WooHoo! Now I just need to get them hung! They're pretty, black cast iron (they match my black shutters) with a copper planter inside of them............

So my nephew told me that putting street salt on the honeysuckle trees/bushes/whatever.......would kill them. I'll give it a try on one of them and see what happens!

Today I got a haircut, and eyebrows trimmed/styled?/waxed!
I've concluded that no one can do my brows as well as I can do them myself. But
I hate doing them so I keep trying to find someone who will do them the way I want them done.
Today I give up. I'll do them from now on. No big deal or anything....plus it will save me money!

Daughters knee cap was over to the right side of her leg today. They have her knee tapped to hold the cap in place. EW! Gives me the weebies thinking about it. My poor Boo!

nap time

today i am tired.
i'm allergic to cats.
the severity of the allergy seems to depend on the cat.
mr. bojangles is killing me. especially if i interact a
lot with him early in the morning, or later
in the evening. i'm congested. my eyes and throat are itching.......my nose is red and tender from
all the blowing........and i feel wiped out.
seems once the kitties grow out of kitty stage, my allergy to them decreases. in reality i'm
probably just not kissing and holding them as much.
it's tough resisting him.
i like putting my nose in his fur and kissing him.
he's just so cute. but today i'm going to keep my distance!
                                                                                                                                                

therapy

Turns out therapy wasn't so bad after all. If you could see the therapist you'd understand!

Daughter did go to the second half of cheerleading practice, and then we went to Dillards.

I picked out a dress I want her to wear for her senior class pictures. She has agreed to let me pick out one of the outfits she'll wear for her senior class pictures.

By the time we were finished shopping, daughter was near tears from knee pain.

I got her home and have her on the couch, leg elevated, and iced. Mr. Bojangles is with her. :O)

monday

Daughter starts physical therapy tomorrow and then plans on going to a 4 hour cheer leading practice. I think she'll come home after therapy, take pain medicine, and go to bed. Hopefully I'm wrong!

Daughter and her best friend are planning a senior class breakfast to be had at our house (on the deck), for the first day back to school. It will be very informal........... we'll serve donuts, coffee, OJ, and milk.
I think the students will have fun.

My nephew that was attacked, I just found out that he lost almost all of his teeth in the attack. His aren't real. Why I didn't know until now(probably because I'm an ex in law) is beyond me...I cried when my sons told me.....and at the grill out the other day I noticed his left eye sits just a little lower than his right eye because of the facial fractures................ I feel that same rage I felt right after the attack. And a deep sadness for the evil, and destruction that Big Ears imposed on my nephew!

My driveway was laid in 1989 or 1992. I'm not sure. I'll have to check the date carved in the concrete near the garage door. Before the concrete was poured for the driveway I put in a time capsule. All I remember about it is that it was a huge, silver thermos........I cannot remember what I put in it except maybe pictures of the kids though Emily may not have been born yet. I vaguely remember writing a note about my dreams for my family.
I'll probably re-do my driveway in a couple of years..
I'm looking forward to opening the time capsule.

sunday

Happy Father's Day!
I'm going to mom and dads house in a bit.
Daughter and boyfriend are going with me. I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters and their families.......and of course my mom and dad.
And then this evening /late afternoon.....
 I'm going to make boyfriend a special dinner
on the grill and give him a lil gift.
And I will keep him busy playing corn hole and swimming.
I feel bad for him that his sons
are so far away.
He's going to see them next month & it can't come soon enough.
He misses them in a bad way.....

content

I love Uncle Crackers voice...........and I think he's a sexy guy.......makes me just wanna wrap myself around him and........yum!
 He has a new cd coming out soon. I think I'll buy it!

I went out on the deck early last evening and started a new painting. (I have an easel now :O)! )
It started out being a painting of my pumpkin vine, then became a picture of the tragedy BP caused, and is now a picture of an apple tree!
It's actually kind of pretty.
It looks happy & calm. Sounds queer, but it's true.

When I started this leave from work I was scared.
I didn't know what I was going to do with myself.
I certainly didn't think it would help my emotional well being.........I thought it was a waste of time.........and I felt guilty
using money I had saved to take time off.
Now I'm thinking it was a good decision.
I needed to separate myself from what was contributing to (and had been for a long time) my "crziness'.......I was overworked, stressed, resentful, going on adrenaline daily for 16 hours, and then crashing or being wired and up half the night thinking............felt resentment towards my patients when they needed me. It always felt like too much, anything they needed, and like I just didn't have it to give  to them anymore. And yet I cared about them which only made me feel worse. I felt resentment towards my patients families for using me and my time to fill a need that they needed filled. Usually nothing to do with their family member I was caring for.
At my last job I worked with a nurse who had been there for 16 years. I worked with her 14 of her 16 years. One day she quit. When they asked her why she was quitting she said "every fucking morning that I come in here  the thermometer is dead and the blood pressure cuff isn't charged. Every God damned morning, and I'm sick of it!"
I understand the frustration she felt. And I know that for one moment it would feel orgasmic to say I quit. I'm fucking sick of this place!
But I want my son to finish college, and my daughter to be able to go to college. I pay for it. A pay cut would not be a good thing. AND I've BEEN AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW EVER PLACE HAS IT'S ISSUES. (CAPS STUCK)
I hated management for failing to deal with the simplest of issues that would improve the flow of every nurses shift employed by them. I had lost the ability to hide the contempt I felt for them..........and yet on a personal basis I liked   them.........
I needed to decompress in a bad way........and a couple days off of work wasn't going to do it..................................

The sun is shining.
Mr. Joplin is napping.
Daughter is having fun with friends.
I feel content.

it will be ok...

So oldest son called

me day before last and said he wanted to make me dinner/take me out to dinner for last evening.. We decided to grill out

in the backyard.

 He brought the steaks (huge, thick, new york strips), I made the salad and homemade lemonade. And he brought along "Refrigerator" the guy in white shorts.........and my nephew, Bubba, (the nephew who was beaten in an unprovoked attack) the guy in the blue jeans with a blue and white striped shirt. The 2 guys on the outside are my sons. The guy with the beard is my oldest son...........the guy in the tan shorts and white shirt is my middle child, and the female is my daughter.

So we grilled steaks last evening and chit chatted.

My nephew told me he still has dizzy spells, and he some times loses his balance.

The guy who beat him is probably going to plea bargain which will get him about 2 years in prison verses the possible 20- 30 years if the DA would take it to trial. The DA isn't charging the other guys involved in the beating  because they are pointing the finger at (big ears) Pierce. The DA/county will save a fortune by not having a trial, and we WILL read about Pierce again, someday in the future, and wonder after he is arrested again for harming another, "why was this guy even out of prison?" Because that IS the way it goes most of the time. Talking to Bubba about all that happened made my heart hurt for him. BAD THINGS do happen to GOOD PEOPLE.  My nephew IS good people. Like all the other good people who have things like this happen to them, Bubba didn't deserve it.......

But anyway, we had a great time last evening! I always love spending time with my family and seeing their friends.......................................

I took daughter to the ortho today. She will not need surgery. She has to do therapy 3 times a week for at least a month, and should then be able to carry on with cheerleading. Daughter was thrilled to hear surgery was not part of the equation. So was I!

PS..........I finally have my new shutters hung. They look great!

PSS.........Happy 55th anniversary mom and dad. I hope you're having

a romantic get-a-way!

my lil fur balls of love

I didn't

want to leave out We-Ping. Note she has her back to Mr. BoJangles.

Mr. B tries so hard to be We-Pings friend. But she'll have nothing to do with it!

Today I am filled with gratitude.

the dunes

So my favorite day of our vacation was the day we spent at the dunes with a professional guide.
There's no way I can describe how beautiful they are............ In picture number 3, the green that you see is actually the tops of 60-90 feet trees buried in the sand. The tree trunks in pic number 2 are literally razor sharp because of the sand blasting them daily.
Some of the hills he took us down were so steep we were lifted from our seats, and our stomachs felt like they'd dropped to the floor.
It was awesome!

lake michigan

Lake Michigan was beautiful. It almost fooled me in to thinking I was at the ocean.

I couldn't fit the whole light house in the picture. It was kinda cool.

you say patella.....

Picture #1 is of the doctor numbing daughters knee.

And then you can see him aspirate blood from the knee. I can hardly stand to look!

Crutches the way a 17 y/o high school girl "wears" them!

We will find out today the MRI results. Keeping our fingers crossed surgery won't be needed.

new family members

The 2 newest members of our family.

Taylor is the 1 in the water. She's playful, outgoing, independent, and a lil red head. She's the one I think looks like a cartoon character. I adore her. She's my nephews daughter.

And then there's Savanah (I guess that's how to spell it?)

She's shy, reserved, and you can see she's holding on to her moms leg! She's my nieces daughter. I don't know her very well. I wish I had more to say about her. Her pony tails crack me up!

my lil friend

Mr. BoJangles making his self comfortable.

PS

While I'm on my rant I have to say that I'm going to stop reading 2 of the blogs I presently read.
They irritate me, and I don't want to be irritated by someone elses life. ...........................................so to the guy who needs for his father to mentor him on when to bathe, and wash his hair............and seems to use anyone and everyone in his life to get something for nothing............he irritates me........he's never had to take responsibility for his behavior, or so it seems. he gives complete control to a family member, and then whines about the way things are done............for me to continue to read him feels like I'm contributing to his manipulative, imature, self serving behavior........or schizophrenia as he calls it..................................................and then there's the person who asked something like "am i too pretty?" "Can a person be too pretty?" Give me a fucking break!


CIAO!

Next week............my character defects! ouch!     :O)~

Wed? I think it's Wed.

Tomorrow morning daughter will have an MRI of her right leg. As soon as the MRI is finished we are leaving town! 
Our bags are packed, and we're ready to go!
                                      YAY!

I'm a little bit worried about leaving Mr. Bojangles. He's just a baby and won't understand my absence. Oldest son will be here with him, but still!

So daughter, daughters best friend, boyfriend and I are taking a trip to the sand dunes, beaches, Silverspoon lake(I think that's the name) and lake Michigan in Michigan. I've never been there. It looks beautiful. I'm looking forward to it.

I wanted to go to the ocean but BP ruined it with their poor off shore drilling practices/lets kill a fish and save a dime. FUCKERS!  BP SUCKS! I wonder how many beautiful ocean creatures have been killed/suffered an agonizing death because of BP. Not to mention the businesses, and livelihoods ruined.
This world is controlled by greedy, self serving, destroy the enviroment, destroy the economy, destroy hard working families so long as pockets of selfish, greedy bastard, mother fuckers are filled ..............and then let the tax payers, and the tax payers grand children's children pay for it.
And nothing ever changes, and everything stays the same. FUCK YOU BP! FUCK YOU CONGRESS................................................Good luck Obama!

So I'm going on my vacation and I'll pretend things are fine and dandy....................and I'm
 certain I'll have some fun!

wed

I was up late cleaning.
My dining room looks awesome!
It hasn't looked this good since Christmas.

I also managed to clean all of daughters laundry.
She usually does her own, but with her gimpy leg
it's extremely difficult for her to do......and I wanted to do something nice for her.
 Plus I washed all the towels and washcloths, and all the throw rugs.
So yay! I like when things are clean and organized even though that's not
always the way it is around here!

I was supposed to get up early and take my car in for an oil change and to have my
breaks looked at and probably changed.
I didn't wake until 10 am and now I'm wondering if it's too late in the day
to even bother.

tuesday

We-Ping and boyfriend are in my bed sleeping. Mr. Bojangles is sitting next to the computer and looking at me. Some of the time he bats at my fingers as I type, or climbs to my shoulder and purrs in my ear.
Daughter is still upstairs sleeping.
The house is quiet.
I like it.

The house next door is empty.
For many years Joe lived there..........so did his wife.  He'd been retired for 30 years, and had been employed at his retirement job for 30 years when we moved in next door.. He was a nice man.
He liked my daughter Emily.
Whenever we'd pull up to our house and get out of the car, Joe would yell "Emily!" He did it every single time..........and Em would yell back "Joe!" I thought it was sweet. And when Em and I would be in the backyard, Joe would stand at the back gate on his side, Emily at our side, and they would jibber jabber to each other.
His wife died a few years after we moved him.
He seemed to rebound pretty quickly. But who knows for sure.
We always made him Easter baskets, Christmas cookies, and a plate at Thanksgiving. And some of the time, Emm would sit with him on the porch( under my watchful eye)  and they'd quietly watch the neighborhood.

At some point his family placed him in a nursing home.
The house must have been in his sons name because his son sold the house
to Joe's grandson for a little less than 1/3 the value of the home. He practically gave him the house.
The grandson, his wife, and little girl moved in............they tore off the side deck in preperation for the
the new driveway he was going to put in...........tore down a wall to make room for a pool, throwing all the rock in the stairway leading to the garage back door.......totally filling the stairway making the door inaccessible.............they received a load of gravel for God knows what, had it piled against my gate their side of the gate and there it has sat for 5 years..................he refused to hold down a job. Always going from this job to that one..........with long periods of unemployment in between. So he refinanced his house over and over again to live off the equity. She sat in the house all day. Also refusing to work.  They never did put in a new driveway or pool. So their kitchen door opens at 2nd floor level to nothingness but a really bad fall if you step out the door.
They owe more on the house than what it's worth, and they've left it in disarray.
The city/bank held an auction in March. It didn't sell.
The grass is at least 2 feet feet deep, and weeds are taking over. (I've called code enforcement)
Joe would be pissed. That was his home. He took pride in it.

How do you manage to piss away a house that has been given to you?!                                         
                                 
                                          

monday

I had my follow up doctor appointment today.
I left behind 5 vials of blood and 4 specimens.
I have nothing left to give. Which is exactly why I'm to be off of work
for 6 more weeks.
I'm excited and nervous all at the same time
about being off.
I'll deal with it. :O)

Daughter had a STAT MRI ordered last Friday.
After many phone calls from me today..her "STAT" MRI is scheduled for this Thursday.

Mr. Bojangles won't leave my side.
He's like my little watch kitten.
I heard boyfriend telling him "you're so precious" the other day.
Cracks me up.

WePing isn't trying to be very friendly with Mr. BJ.
He's spoiled and used to being an only pet for the most part.
When she lets me, I try to give her lots of attention and love.

I bought a new game today.
It's named Mancala.
I've never heard of it/played it before.
It looks like fun.

sunday

I need some sun.

I'll probably spend some time outside today.

I'm thinking about pulling out my cantaloupe plant and moving it to

another spot. Maybe it would do better if I moved it.

 

Boyfriend hates the wall just below my deck steps.

I built it myself with rocks I collected

from the dirt we dug when the water pipe coming in to my house burst.

We had to dig a 4 foot deep by 60 or 80 foot long trench to lay new pipe.

Because of the layout of my house, we were unable at that spot to get the trench deep enough.

So I had to put in a circular wall, and fill the center with dirt until the pipe was as deeply buried as required

to keep it from freezing and then maybe bursting.

So he'd like to re-do that wall. I kind of like it but am not against changing it.

So maybe we'll work on it today. But probably not. Especially if I have my way. :O)

 

Daughter is doing ok.

She's limping around on crutches.......and some of the time

she's limping around without the crutches.

She's afraid that if she takes off the brace her knee will

dislocate. Plus she's wearing a compression bandage to prevent further bleeding, and that is not allowed to be removed.

So we put a garbage bag over her leg and duck tape it closed

for when she showers.

 

Middle son bought a boat.

He's practically lived in it the past 3 days.

I hope he's having a blast.

I asked him to not drown.........and then told him about my friend Terri's father drowning when we were in the 3rd grade. He was partying on a boat and fell into the river. (I think it's why she's a drinker and why she pushes every man she dates out of her life.)

Son promised me he wouldn't drink and drive the boat, and that he wouldn't drown. (He probably needs a beer after conversing with me. )

So then I made his older brother promise me the same thing......he laughed cause he knows how I am, and loves me anyway.............and he promised me he wouldn't drown ......................... they are men...........and capable, intelligent, responsible young guys.................................but I have to say "don't drown" because if I don't say it and they end up doing it, then it will be too late.

 

                                                                :O)

 

 

saturday

I have a spider in my bedroom.

I've watched him on and off for 3 days.

Mostly he just crawls on the ceiling, or stands in place for hours on end.

But some of the time he disappears and I worry he's in my bed.

So today

I'm going to kill him. (sounds so violent, huh?)

 

Daughters report card came today.

We've been waiting to see if she passed chemistry.

Prior to the final exam she was failing.

I guess she did well on the exam because she ended up passing the class.

So yay!

 

 

 

 

 

 

today

Took daughter to the ortho doctor today.

We get to the office and they inform me I'm scheduled at another of their offices.

I live about a 10 minute walk from the office I was being told to leave to go to the other office.......and I was handed a stack of papers to fill out while in the car on the way to the office 20 minutes away by car.

We get to office number 2 and am told I'm late and can't be seen today. I WAS 30 minutes past my appointment but not due to fault of my own..................AND...... the last time I was at their office, I waited in the waiting room on them an hour and 15 minutes past MY appointment time................so I told the chick behind the desk just that. She looked at me like too bad so sad.....................so I looked at her like             fuck you, you fucking bitch( at least I'm not saying it out loud)...................I even told them we were leaving tomorrow for Colorado hoping they'd go that extra mile to help........no help. So I thought fuck you, fucking ass licks.........and I rescheduled...............and then went to my car........called another of this groups offices.......and it was  a little miracle because I recognized the voice who answered the phone. It was a girl I'd gone to high school with. And although we weren't friends.......we had many mutual friends, and still do............. We were friendly with each other back in the day. We even have a mutual friend dying from breast cancer.  I said "Tammy, this is Sandy W. from high school. This IS you isn't it?" And it WAS her! (Why/how I recognized her voice after so many years is beyond me).............. "Hi Sandy! How are you?"

So I went through my story with her. She didn't give me much hope because her doctor was getting ready to leave.............but she asked him anyway if he'd stick around to see my daughter.......he said yes.........and so to his office we went...............he checked her X-rays.......manipulated her leg a bit.........aspirated blood and such from around her knee.........ordered a stat MRI.........re wrapped and immobilized her leg......told us to postpone our trip for a bit.........and so now we're waiting on the MRI Center to call with an appointment.

My guess is that they will have daughter scheduled for surgery by the end of next week.

I hope I'm wrong!

While daughter was still numb, we ran to WalMart and Kohl's to pick up a few things............and since daughters best friends parents are financially strapped right now (both are in school working for a better future), and since said friend helped and has catered to daughter all day long,  we bought her a new bathing suit and sunglasses.............she's a good kid!

I'm tired and plan on resting and reading away the rest of the evening.

 

(no subject)

I'm on battery so I'll make it quick.

#1. We had our annual survey at my work and once again we had a very good/above average survey. I'm thrilled and proud all at once. But I still don't want to be a nurse right now.

 

#2. Daughter and I watched "Dear John" last night. I hated it. It was boring, slow, long, and took 2 years away from my life that I'll never get back.

 

#3. Ex husband made a big deposit in to my child's child support account. He practically got caught up. The bad news is he's probably planning  to go back to court for something.

 

#4. I wonder how many women Joran Van Der Sloot has raped/murdered. I'm pretty sure more than the two we know about.

 

#5. Mr. Bojangles is my little pal. He makes me smile.

wed.

The cheerleading squad showed up at our house today. They decorated our porch with get well balloons and hand made get well posters.

It was nice of them, and it brought a smile to daughters face. :O)

 

I think women are cool. I'm proud to be one. (just a random thought.)

 

Daughter and I are going to pop popcorn this evening and rent a movie on demand. (Dear John) It should be fun.

 

I go back to the doctor Monday. He has me off work for 8 weeks. So I have 4 more weeks off.

I think I'll ask him to give me 2 weeks in addition to the 4 weeks I have left.

I'm starting to relax and enjoy the down time.

I'm totally off the anti depressants. I don't feel as hostile as I did while taking them. And I no longer

want to spend my time in bed sleeping.

I still have a lot of work to do in terms of dealing with the small frustrations(those are the things that get my gut in a knot) and in letting go rather than trying to control how everyone else feels.............................and of course I still need to get help for the nursing burn out that I feel. I'm only just now feeling though like I have the energy to do something about it. And so I will. I should have gotten help for the burn out a long time ago! I guess I thought it would go away on it's own.

 

 

 

 

 

stuff

So I'm in my car outside of the school waiting for daughter to come out from cheerleading practice when my cell phone rings. It's one of the girls from the cheerleading squad asking me to come to the school. I let her know I'm in the parking lot waiting on daughter. She says to someone else "She's here, I'll  go out and get her" and I hear someone else say "I'll call 911."

My heart immediately began to race.

Daughters best friend comes running towards me as I'm running towards the gym doors. I enter the gym and see daughter on the floor surrounded by the rest of the squad on their knees reassuring and caring for her.

Her knee was grossly displaced and swollen. She was more frightened I think by the sight of her leg than she is in pain. She straightened her leg causing her knee to go back in place.

The ambulance arrived and daughter was taken to the ER.

Cheerleading sponsor showed up at the hospital. She was crying, saying daughter is her favorite and she loves her.

I felt obligated to reassure/comfort  her even though I dislike her for hurting my daughter last season the way that she did.

So I did comfort her but felt ambivalent about doing so.

Daughter will go to an ortho. office Friday to be checked for damage that can't really be assessed at present. Her X-ray is negative. They wrapped and braced her knee and put her on crutches.

So we'll keep our fingers crossed while we wait to see.....

 

Yesterday I went to my oldest sisters house to spend the day with my parents, all of my sisters, and their families. It was a nice grill out........and I got to spend time with 2 great nieces both who joined the family in the past year. I took some really cute pictures of them and will post them when I can............one of them looks like she could be a cartoon character........and I mean that in a good way!