merry christmas

Merry Christmas !

 The squirrel

is moms

little friend. She watches him from her bedroom window.  I met him and snapped his picture Christmas day.

friday

Mom was hospitalized for GI bleeding again but is back home and doing well. Daughter and I cleaned her house and did her Christmas gift wrapping yesterday. Dad had already done some of the cleaning which was a huge help. He was thrilled we were there to take over.  Mom did a lot of talking. So did dad. It's fun hanging out with them some of the time. They crack me up.
Mom asked me if I thought dad would look like Marc Anthony in the Marc Anthony jacket she bought for him for Christmas. I told her he might if she closes her eyes and asks him to talk to her with an accent......................and she talked about how expensive toilet paper is now a days. I told her about recently running out of toilet paper and how I used some of boyfriends coffee filters in place of toilet paper until I could get to the store. She thought that was hysterical........I made her promise not to tell boyfriend.

I did some cookie making this evening.
The girl up the street loves my sugar cookies.  I always bake a big batch for her..

I finished my gift wrapping last night. Daughter worked on a paper for school while I wrapped.........and we chit chatted as we worked.
She's doing good in school. So is her boyfriend. I'm proud of them.
I heard daughter telling one of her friends who was trying to talk daughter into going out on a week night and ditching her classes the next day......I heard daughter tell her friend that, un like her friend, her mom was paying her tuition and she would not throw her moms money away.
I was happy to hear her say it.....happy she wasn't taking it for granted......

I was shopping the other day and BOOM! The floor started tilting under my feet.......left, right, forward, backwards...............I felt the way a toddler looks when first starting to walk...............and then it went away.

Mr. Bojangles and We-ping are doing well, though Mr. Bojangles likes knocking around the ornaments hanging on the tree.
Santa is bringing catnip for them.

sunday

My kitchen wall. Old border and paint being removed so that the walls could be painted. Looks like an angel I think. Odie, it kinda looks like the angel in your Sunday posting.

wed.////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I'm /just /about /finished /with m/y /////C///hristm/as /shopping.///////////////////////////////////// ///////I//////only /hav/e /boyfriend /to /be /buy /for
and /thats /it.////////////////////////////
S/omething /is /wrong /with //////////////////////////////////m//y ///////////////////keyboard /or /c/omputer /as /you /c/an
see /here./////////////////////.....////////////////
I/t's /driv/ing ////////////////////////////////////////m/e //////////////////////////////////////////////////batty!///////////////////////////

I///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////'m///////////////////thinking /about /putting /up ///////////////my
C/hristm////as /tree /today,/ /and ////////////////////////////////////////the /out /door /lights.//////////////////////////

Odie,/ /I/ /lov/e /all /your /rec/ent ///////posts /but am /bloc////////////////ked /from/ ///c/om/m/enting
on /your /blog./././///////////////////////otherwise //////////////////////i/////// /would!///////////////////////////////////////////////

friday

Just because I think it's cute!

My 3 Boos. We had a nice Thanksgiving.

My homemade wreath turned out ok.

wed

I've been busy.
I crash at night, and then sleep like a baby.

Oldest son and I spent last Sunday together.
He works evenings/nights, six days a week, and he has
a social life........it's difficult finding the time
to spend time with him. When I get the chance I jump on it.
We had a nice time.........

I was scheduled to work Christmas.
Luckily one of the younger nurses wants the holiday pay and has
agreed to work for me.
So YAY!
I'm off Thanksgiving and New Years.
I may be wrong but I think this is my first Thanksgiving off in many years. I'm certain it's my first New Years day off in at least a decade.
I'm happy.

One of my patients asked me for a Vicodin yesterday. She asked me in front of another resident.. The other resident said, in a challenging, playful, competitive way "My nurse gives me two Vicodin." So I said to my resident in front of the other patient "When you come out of the dining room I have 2 more vicodin, a shot of Jack Daniels, and a sexy Italian man waiting for you in your room."

I went to the grocery store after work last night.
Must haves on my grocery list every week:
fresh baby spinach
2 jars of pickles (I think I'll start making my own so that I can save money, and use less salt.)
almond stuffed olives
a red onion
avocado
a can of black olives
cucumbers
3 cans of pineapples
a loaf of whole grain bread
tomatoes
low sodium V8 juice
everything else i buy just depends....

I bought my turkey last night. He was 44 cents a pound. I think he weighed 21 pounds. It's huge. I want to be able to send a bunch home with my sons. I bought stuff for an extra pumpkin pie so I could send a pie home with them too.


Daughter and "Page 83"Ms. Me: page 83 (1 of 3) have become the best of friends.
They go dancing, watch movies, talk on the phone,go fishing, and even work together. He was supposed to be daughters boyfriends dorm partner at EKU, but decided to stay here and attend NKU.........he's doing good in school.
Daughters boyfriend is doing well at school. He's homesick a little I think. He asked his mom if he could transfer to NKU. She's making him finish up his first year at EKU before she'll discuss a transfer with him. I think she's doing the right thing......
Daughter is doing well in school.
It excites her. She's enthusiastic when she talks about her classes. She spends a lot of her time at the library.
I just want her to stick with it.......you know?

Boyfriend is home from Colorado.
It did him good to see his sons, and his siblings.
His brother is in a rehab facility.
The left isde of his body is paralyzed from the stroke. He can speak though.......and his speech is clear..... his thought process is intact...........he's very lucky.
He called last night to say he moved his left leg........and he has regained gross movement to his left arm........so that's great!
Hopefully he'll be able to return to his home in a couple of months.

Boyfriends sister tucked a card with a note for me in boyfriends suitcase. It was sweet. Boyfriend is the youngest of 7 children. I think all of his brothers and sisters were 8 years and older by the time he was born. His older sister is protective of him still.
I think my sons will be like that with daughter all of their lives.

friday

Boyfriend left today for Colorado. His brother had a stroke, boyfriend wanted to be with him. His brother should be okay after a couple months of rehab. I hope.

I was relieved that boyfriend left town, though sorry for the reason.
I need the time away from him.

thursday

Daughter and I went to a couple malls yesterday to do some Christmas shopping. We also went out to lunch. The conversation never lacks when we're together. She always has a story to tell or something to say. She''s fun. I enjoy being with her.
 I remember when she was a baby, maybe six months old.... I took her to the doctor for her check-up. While examining her he looked at me and said "She's a little social butterfly!"  I guess I remembered what he said because I was born such a shy person. I was hoping my children wouldn't be. I looked up to her doctor. I respected him......and by golly if he said she was a social butterfly, then it had to be! Luckily he didn't say she was a loner,  a serial killer, or a wall flower. Right?

My work friend who went to Jerusalem and put my prayer in The Wailing Wall lost his temper at work last week and quit his job in the middle of his shift.
It's easy to understand his frustration. They will replace him with another nurse. Nothing else will change. All of those things that drove him nutty will be waiting for the new nurse to deal with......

I'll grocery shop today.
I love shopping. I don't like grocery shopping so much. It's more of a chore than anything. So I'll get that out of the way and then I'll make a Christmas wreath. I've always wanted one for my front door but was too cheap to spend the money on one. Have you seen the prices on them? They're expensive.
So I'll give it a try!

saturday

Fifteen years or so ago I bought a couple of lamps at a yard sale. I didn't need them at the time. They were pretty, and only five bucks for the pair. I knew I'd use them some day.
 Now I need two lamps. I've been shopping for weeks for a lamp or two that I like.  Good lamps can be expensive. I'm a tight wad.
Last week I remembered my yard sale lamps. So I got them out of the attic.
They're pretty.They have a retro 50ish-60ish look to them. But they're pretty just the same. They just need to be cleaned.   I'm happy.
Now I'm on the hunt for lamp shades.

tuesday

I cleaned all day yesterday, and cleaned all day today. I still have lots of cleaning to do. The reason I hate cleaning my house is because I see all of the repairs/updates that are needed. Then I feel frustrated that I don't have the money or time to get to all the repairs/updates at once. It makes me want to throw in the towel and just walk away.
But then I get my spring/fall cleaning completed, and I walk through my house at night when all is quiet and everyone is sleeping........and I'm grateful for and proud of my little home.

The past few weeks I've been putting together a room in the basement for me to work on my paintings, and some old furniture that I plan on refinishing. The room is coming together......I had to put it on the back burner, again, so I can finish my fall cleaning..........it's whats motivating me to get finished with my cleaning.......so I can get back to that room, and do the things I enjoy.

Daughters tuition is due this week.
I have it.
For that I am grateful.

A Christmas gift last year from daughter. Isn't it sweet?

sunday

It's 1 A.M.
I just finished paying bills, and I cleaned out a few drawers.
I never quite know what to throw away and what to keep when it comes to bank statements, divorce papers, receipts, contracts..............is there a rule of thumb? Do I keep that crap for a year, ten years?
It's getting on my nerves having all these papers...........as soon as I throw them away I'll need them......

I'm paying my nephew to remove some old border, hang a new light fixture, fill in nail holes, and paint my kitchen.
It's nice having someone else do the work.

The fire marshall recently did an insevice at my work.
She said you should clean the lint from the back of your dryer every few months. I think that's what she said..........it might be more often.................I thought all you had to do was empty the lint thingy...................a few nights ago daughter and I went to the basement and moved the dryer away from the wall.........................there was five inches of lint on the floor behind the washer and dryer, on the backs of the washer and dryer, and from the floor up the wall about three feet......................and to boot, the exhaust hose was disconnected from the bottom of the dryer...........
We cleaned the  mess........and vacuumed all the dust from the ceiling and surrounding walls.
Boyfriend put a new exhaust thingy on the dryer, and a new vent do hinky that goes to the outside.
I've always wondered why my cool air duct returns and floor vents were so dusty and gross all the time...............................I'm guessing it's because of the dryer not being vented........I hope that's why..........cause now it shouldn't be a problem.....

Daughter is doing really well in school.
She loves her creative writing teacher.
He told her she should be in a more advanced class, and that she was the perfect student.
She called me at work telling me how proud she was of herself............that she feels so  confident.......something she has never felt when it comes to academics........................I wanted to hug the guy.

Boyfriend asked me out on a date for this coming Wed.
I love him.
He's my best friend...........cracks me up that he asked me out on a date.
We go out all the time. We just don't call our time out a date.
Wednesday it's a date!

Wed.

My working girl.

My college girl...........

A tired Mr. Bojangles

foreclosed house

I didn't put a contract in on the foreclosed house.
All the work it needs inside, combined with the fact that it has serious plumbing problems, plus having my present mortgage scared me off.
Boyfriend offered to help. My dad offered to buy the house, rehab. it and then sell it to me for not a dime more than what he'd eventually spend. I was so tempted. Tempted to take dad up on his offer, and tempted just to go at it alone..............................I didn't though............. I'm happy with my decision.

my doll house

The foreclosed house that I'm interested in is now open for contracts!
My dad looked at it today. Boyfriend looked at it today. The old man who lives up the street from it took pictures of it today.......and 11 other people put in contracts on it. It's been open for contracts for two days.
I have an appointment to look at it tomorrow.
It's small. Smaller than my house. But the lot is much bigger than mine, and it's all flat. There's no house to the right of the property. Just woods. It's a single story brick home. Did I mention it's small?  It was built in 1958. So the closets are small. It has a galley kitchen that could be really nice with a little work.
I love the lot.
And even though the side screened in porch needs work, I really like that porch! I love the back yard..............If I bought it I could probably cut my gas and electric bill in half. My mortgage payment would drop a few hundred bucks.........that makes me happy.......it could be a doll house with a little TLC.........a small doll house..........I'd rather have more money than space.........
The down side is what if my house doesn't sell forever and ever............I couldn't carry two mortgages for very long.............it would be risky to buy a house before selling mine.........................................I've almost always played it safe....................maybe it's time to take a chance?
Maybe when I actually get inside of the house, rather than just looking through the windows, I'll hate the place...........

a beautiful day

It's so beautiful outside today!
So I tried spending as much time outdoors as possible.
I also spent most of the day alone, by choice. It felt good.
I looked at pumpkins. Debated whether or not to spend money on one..............and remembered with a smile when my sons and their friends left 15 or 20 pumpkins in my front yard one night several years ago. Some of them were even decorated. They crack me up!


I stopped by my parents house. Took a bouquet of pretty fall flowers to mom, and chit chatted with her for awhile. It was nice.

I think I'll have supper on the deck with boyfriend and daughter.
I have chicken tenderloins marinated in a basil and garlic marinade, in the oven, and stir fry veggies steaming. It smells good!

Mom told me she was first runner up for prom queen her senior year of high school. I didn't know that about her.
I know my mom. But I wish I knew more things like that about her.........stuff from her childhood. I have bits and pieces from mom and dad about their childhoods............wish I had more.

tuesday

I've raised my children.

What do I do now?

friday

I need some adventure in my life.

thursday

The morning was spent working in the yard with boyfriend.
We mowed, edged, trimmed, swept, and picked up crap I cut down last week...........feels good to have it done.

Right now it's raining........a down pour.......I have the front door open so I can hear it. It's soothing.

PS

Our smoke detector alarmed the other night at around 2 A.M.
Boyfriend got out of bed to check the house for fire or smoke.
I slept right through it.
That's not very comforting.

today

I love this time of year.
I love the weather.
I love all the beautiful colors in the trees.
I love the cold rains.
It's a great time of year!

I kinda miss my kids AND my parents today.
I texted my oldest son back and forth for a couple of minutes, and I called my mom tonight
to say hello.
It helped.

We Ping is on the kitchen floor bathing. I walked past her a few minutes ago. She rolled on her side as I walked by and wrapped her paws around my ankles. I pet her.
Mr. Bojangles is next to me on the couch. He's sleeping.
I like to roll the very tip of his tail between my forefinger and thumb. I don't know why, I just do.

My car seats are heated. It wasn't something I looked for when I bought the car. I though I'd probably never use them. But the other day after working 14 hours, and because I had menstrual cramps, my lower back was hurting. So I turned the heat on in the drivers seat. It felt like a heating pad on my back. By the time I arrived home from work, my back was feeling better. The next day I couldn't wait to leave work so I could use the heat on my back again. It feels really good.

I reached my 20 pound weight loss goal. Yay!

sunday

Nothing much going on........yesterday was spent doing exactly what i wanted to do......which was much of nothing........i sat on the couch with my computer, t.v. remote control, and a coffee table in front of me with a stack of books.........i indulged myself with tv, computer, and books............

I slept in this morning, showered, went to the grocery, balanced my bank account, paid bills, took a drive with boyfriend..................that's about it!

boyfriend gave both the cats their monthly flea treatment, and he cooked dinner.....

I have my scrubs in the washer. All that's left to do is pack my lunch for work tomorrow. I might cut the grass, I might not.

cat lady

I went to a work friends wedding this evening. The guy she married is also one of my work friends.
It was a very sweet ceremony, and a fun reception though I didn't stay long.
Watching them get married made me think that it would be nice to commit to boyfriend in that way that you do when you get married.............but then I questioned whether or not it would be a mistake ..................and is boyfriend even the right man for me.....................................................so I went to a beautiful wedding tonight..............thought about my wedding( not my marriage) to ex husband (we eloped)............thought about marrying boyfriend....................................wondered if it would be a mistake .................................and then let the thought of marriage go...............
I 'll probably end up being the crazy lady with cats, and a garden. That would
be OK with me.

friday

Feels like fall.
I love it......

I ran in to my older sister yesterday at the gas station.
She looked happy. She looked drug free. She was on her way to a meeting.
I told her tell our family hello when she got to the meeting.
She laughed. So did I.

Mr. Bojangles is doing well.

Daughter is adjusting well at the small community college she's attending.
She doesn't seem to be filled with all the anxiety she felt while in high school.

to Odie

(So sorry, Odie. You and Linda are in my thoughts. Give Linda a hug for me, please.)

Mr. Bojangles

He was neutered today.
He handled it like a champ. Because he is a champ.......and my furry, little, friend.

things/activities/places i like

saturday

It's my weekend off. Yay!

Daughter was invited to the high school homecoming to crown this years queen. So after a long day at school, and then long evening at work, she went to the homecoming last night.
It made her feel a little sad.
She misses her school.

I tried staying up late last night because some of the time I jsut don't want the day to end. I fell asleep on the couch though, with M r. Bojangles, and I think it was before mid night.

Sister has been out of rehab. for over a month. She's doing well. Her and two of her 12 step friends went to other sisters house and encouraged her to go to rehab. She agreed. So sister and her 2- 12 step friends took other sister to the rehab. hospital. She has hundreds of  friends she's met over the past 2 plus decades  from the program.........hopefully she'll be OK. Hopefully both of them will be OK.
Why after a couple plus decades of  clean living would someone start using again? Did they miss one meeting too many? Was it the money lost when the market crashed? Taking care of a chronically ill parent? Menopause? Husbands illness? Empty nest syndrome?
I don't know.......

Work is going well.
I like the people I work with.....we had a really good state survey, again.

It was pouring down rain, thundering and lightening the other day while at work and the temperature outside was chilly. So the building felt a little chilly.........and the usually bright building inside felt cloudy..............I wish we would have had a bunch of huge over stuffed sofas in the lounges. I would have gathered all of my patients, taken them out of their hard, cold wheelchairs, put them on the big soft couches........and covered them with the softest blankets........ popped popcorn for them..........and put on some really good movies.....if they wanted to........

not sure what today is....

quiet day.
went to the grocery store.
finished one of the books mom
and dad  gave to me. started another one.
caught up on a couple of my favorite
Showtime series.
did one load of laundry.
made home made pizza, on whole wheat crust.....loaded it with veggies.
talked a little with boyfriend.
chit chatted with daughter.
played with kitties.
packed my lunch for tomorrow.
exfoliated my face.
going to bed in a few minutes!

monday

After work last night boyfriend took me out for dinner and then to watch the WEBN fireworks. The fireworks show was awesome, as usual. Especially the tribute they did in remembrance of 911. It was very well done. It would have made you cry a little.

Today I cleaned and made a huge meal for my family. Sons were both here, and oldest sons girlfriend, and of course daughter and boyfriend were here.
We had a wonderful time.

Daughters boyfriend and all of her friends were back in town this weekend to see the fireworks. So daughter was in her glory............daughters boyfriend stopped over the house to say hello. (he was invited to dinner but couldn't stay because he had to head back to school) It was good to see him and to talk to him a bit about college life. He says it's going well. I'm happy for him!

Daughters first day of school is tomorrow.
She feels a little anxious.
I asked her if she'd mind if I took a picture of her on her first day. She tutted, kind of rolled her eyes and laughed a little.
I'll take that as a go ahead. :O)

The Thyroid medicine I'm taking feels like a miracle drug to me.
I feel so so SO much better!

wednesday

Daughter and I hung out today.
We went shopping and out to lunch.
We were both in a playful mood, so it was a day full of laughing and joking around. I loved every minute of it!

rambling

I'm having a beer( something i rarely do) and watching the mtv's vma's with daughter.
lady gaga can sing.....she doesn't really need all the crazy theatrics......i'm looking forward to seeing adele perform. she has a great voice and a certain something special.

oldest son and his girlfriend stopped by this evening.
he tries so hard to be what he thinks i want him to be.
i just want him to be his self. that's more than good enough for me.

daughters summer break is over.
she's working at a popular, young woman's clothing store in cincinnati........and starts school sept. 6. i was such a chicken at her age. she's not.

the cardiologist said he'd see me in 5 months. he's not very concerned with my ekg. he thinks my thyroid was the cause. i like him. he cusses, plus he's funny and makes me feel like we're old friends. our ex house psychiatrist at my wwork used to cuss. why i would like it when doctors cuss i don't know. maybe because it puts me at ease.

the follow up visit with my family doctor went okay. he assured me i don't have thyroid cancer............and all my blood work was normal.

one time a doctor threw a chart at my sister. it hit her in the chest.
he was pissed about something.
she picked the chart up and threw it back at him. just saying.......

friday at work one of my patients told me i was his very favorite nurse.....i was asking him to be patient.....then i said" maybe i should be more patient"......then he said "you're my very favorite nurse, sandy." made my heart ache a little. he's a sweetheart.

they're going to do an amy winehouse tribute on the vma show that we're watching. she had a wonderful, soulful voice.
i knew she would die.
i was hoping for her though......

my work friend and her husband stopped by yesterday.
her husband and boyfriend hit it off at daughters graduation party.
it's been awhile since i've had a close girlfriend.
my last really close friend died. i'm back and forth between wanting friends. i know that sounds weird......but it's how i feel.
i love my work friend though.....boyfriend really likes her too......the 4 of us plan on getting together again soon.

middle son is taking me on his boat to hear jimmy buffet when he plays at riverbend. i can't wait. i'd love to spend a day with jimmy buffet. i think he'd be fun.

tuesday

Dad put a bag of books from him and mom between my front doors today.
It included
1. Stephen King.......Liseys Story
2. Michael Connelly.......The Scarecrow
3. Sophie Hannah.......The Dead Lie Down
4. Joyce Carol Oates.....My Sister, My Love

I'm looking forward to reading them!
I just finished reading John Grisham's, A Painted House........and really enjoyed it........Odie, I think you would like it.

in a nut shell

in a nut shell:

found a house I love.........it's in foreclosure.......tracking down who owns it so I can buy it before it's auctioned.

right now, right this very minute.....I'm disappointed in doctors. They're not very bright some of the time considering all the time they've spent in school.

saw a guy in his town car in the lane next to me picking his nose. people shouldn't pick their nose in public.

went to Jimmy John's for the first time.
they have a great cucumber, tomato, lettuce, alfalfa sprouts, and a little avocado spread sandwich. very good!

Mr. Bojangles went to the vet today for vaccines.  he's going to get neutered in a couple of weeks.

I Showed 2 in 2002.....that's what the t-shirt says

I showed "2" in 2002 because I wanted to, kinda................it wasn't the T-shirt from the guys on the houseboat across the party cove that I wanted, though it was a bonus...........................I think I just wanted to be adventurous, feel free, and liberated! That's not what I ended up feeling though...........I think I ended up feeling like " I could have lived without doing that."

sunday

I woke daughter this morning to see if she wanted to go to a movie and to lunch. We ended up going out for brunch, ditched the movie and went for a drive and then shopping. We talked a lot. I knew she had a lot of things to say with college starting soon, and boyfriend leaving town. But we really didn't talk much about all of that......  we looked at other places we might like to live. Even discussed the possibility of listing our house again.....&.......what we'd have to do to our house before we sold it...........we talked about her best friends new and first boyfriend.........and about her other best friends recent break up with her boyfriend................
We shopped a little.
She bought nail polish and some new foundation.
I bought lotion, blush, and nail clippers.
It was a nice few hours spent with daughter.

I lost 5 more pounds.
My goal is to lose 20. So far I've lost 18.
So I'm pretty happy. I hope my heart is too.

I made fried green tomatoes this evening.......topped them with Feta cheese, cause that's how the guy on TV made them. I only had one, but it was delicious.

And now I'm going to clean the inside of my car. I haven't cleaned it since I bought it. I like getting into a clean car in the morning. Don't you? It just feels good to me.

saturday

Daughters boyfriend left town early this morning to start college life.
He was offered a full ride to four different schools..........in the end he chose Eastern Kentucky University.
Daughter spent last evening hanging out with him.
They said their good-byes.
Her heart is aching a little. But she's also looking forward to starting her new life..........give her a chance and she'll show off her college I.D., schedule, or parking pass even......
Her best friend Mariah, decided to stay here and take the scholarship to Northern Kentucky University rather than The University of Louisville. Daughter is thrilled.
Her other two best friends, "Page 83", and Shay, will be leaving for school in the next several days.
They haven't wasted a minute of their free time this summer. It's been non stop get togethers, and I'm sure a summer to remember.
I love them all, hope they stay safe, and that all their dreams come true.

good night

I spent my day cleaning.
I'm wore out and ready for bed.
Mr. Bojangles knows it to........he's on
the floor next to the bed waiting for me to invite him up to the bed. He makes me smile. :O)

thursday

I had planned on cooking a special dinner tomorrow for sons birthday. He stopped by today after work and we ended up (boyfriend, son, daughter, adn I) going out for dinner this evening instead. (Oldest son didn't go because he works evenings)
We went to one of sons favorite restaurants. The food was great &
It was a nice time. He loved the camera I got him.

After dinner, son and daughter went to the mall together. Boyfriend and I went to the grocery store.
Tomorrow I'll bake sons favorite cake(carrot cake) for his birthday and send it over to his condo for him and his brother to enjoy.

I love my new Jaguar Ford Fusion. The interior is leather. When you open the door the smell of leather hits you in the nose. I love that smell!
Daughter is enjoying my old Jaguar Sonata. It was my all time favorite car. The outside of it still looks practically brand new.................and since the interior is leather, it looks really good too. It runs good. Hopefully it will keep running for several more years.

I'm going to the ocean soon.
It will probably only be a 3 day trip, but I have to go. It's calling my name!

wed.

I went shopping this afternoon with daughter and her best friend.
I needed to buy a present for sons birthday.
I got myself a Janice Joplin CD. It was marked down to five bucks. It's one of my favorite albums. I wanted the CD so I could listen to it in my car.
I got son a nice camera. He dropped his a few months back and it broke........he's always borrowing his sister's........I think he'll like it!

Daughter and I went to talk with daughters academic advisor last week. The advisor helped daughter pick her classes.......and then on the 9th we go back to get daughters official schedule, parking pass, student ID, and I forget the rest..........daughter is pleased with her school choice......and looking forward to starting her classes.
I'm happy for her.
When we got home I called my mom to fill her in on our day.
My mom criticised daughters school choice, and daughters choice of friends.
What I need to explain is that sisters relapse and subsequent overdose has opened old wounds for me. I wont speak for anyone else..............I also need to explain that feeling so fucking tired mentally and physically for the past however long it's been because your fucking body isn't working the way it should and even though you finally find the reason why and begin treatment...........and you are feeling significantly better, but you still don't have the stamina that you used to have.........and you skip a period and wonder if you're going through the change of life or are your skipping your period because your freaking thyroid is fucked up..........so your hormones are all over the board................................................and then you're just who you have become.............................so your mom criticises your daughter.............you let it go........but then you lay awake through the night thinking about what she said............and you take it personal..............and then all those old wounds add fuel to the cluster fuck of feelings that you are feeling................................................. mom calls the next day under the pretense of wanting to know about a medication...........and then apologizes for part of her criticisms the day prior....................................................and I'm conflicted in my head and heart whether or not I should say anything to her because she's my mom and i love her, and she has a  bad heart.........on the other hand i want to say what i need to say so that it's said before she dies..........but i wonder should i just bite my tongue and let it be...........................................................................................................................................................I didn't bite my tongue.......I said what I needed to say, through tears of course, and then I said stuff that surprised even me.........but it was all true, and none of it meant to be hurtful...................mom was apologetic, caring, genuinely sorry.....and I detected a hint of sadness in her voice................. which left me feeling sad, remorseful, and wishing I had just let it go............................that was a week ago........................I've been extremely busy the past week........have been trying to just not think about things.................................and wishing I'd just stop having periods and go through the change of life already.........................

I've been working hard to keep my heart healthy, assuming that it is healthy. I see the cardiologist in August. My insurance denied the stress test, again. It would cost me 2200.00. I'm not spending that money unless the cardiologist says I absolutely have to, or finds a way to get my insurance to pay for it.
I put myself on a cardiac diet and have lost 14 pounds the past three weeks. I take a baby aspirin daily......and I threw away the salt shaker.
I lost the energy to exercise over a year ago................I love exercise. It makes me high. I feel up to it, kind of,  but am going to wait to get the OK from the cardiologist.

I know I sound like an unhappy, bipolar, crazy lady.

But I'm not.
:O)

monday

Text message from daughter:

Daughter: I just cleaned the car. I found your She Daisy CD. (I'm keeping it.)  I was singing with them while I cleaned. I felt like you.

Me: LOL

Daughter: It was fun.

Me: It's fun being me!

Daughter: lol, well duh.

&......................................................................

My sister overdosed.
The only details I know is that her son found her unconscious. He got her to the hospital and at some point from there she went to a rehab. center to detox.
That's all I know.
I guess she's been home now for 8 days........I haven't talked to her, and I really don't want to. I haven't talked to mom and dad about it either. I don't want to..................and the sister who informed me, well I asked her a couple months ago not to tell me anymore about either of my two sisters who are using.
I love them. I wish the best for them.
But I don't know how to be, and don't want to be a part of their lives
while they are using.

Work is going good.
My BFF and I work together on the same unit.
I take half the unit, she takes the other half.
We get it done.........and support each other along the way.
It works.

I drive past the high school on my way home from work.
The football players are practicing when I go by.
I don't have to go to anymore games..............
It makes me a little sad.

Happy 5th B.D. My Furry little friend! I love you.

sunday

Yesterday was my mom and dad's 56th wedding anniversary.
I think that's beautiful, and wonderful! Happy anniversary, mom and dad!

I'm cooking Jambalaya. 
It's simmering as I type......... the house smells great.

We-Ping left a bird on the mat at the front door. I think it's a gift from her to us.
I thanked her, and asked her not to bring anymore.

I had my hair cut and my eye brows done today.
When you get your hair done it always seems to put a little extra pep in your walk.......at least it does for me.

wed

I cleaned out my semi finished basement today. My driveway is filled with old crap jsut waiting on the garbage man or the guy in the old truck who cruises the neighborhood on garbage night looking for treasures, or crap to clean up and then sell.
I also cleaned out two basement closets and boxed stuff I didn't want to throw away.
I swept the cobwebs from the basement ceiling, and swept the floor.
There's still a lot of work to do down there but I made a good dent in it.

I got up early this morning and mowed the lawn before it got too hot outside.

All in all it was a productive day.

i like it

I read the following on another bloggers blog. I love it. That's what I would have said in that blogs comment section if I could comment on that blog!

The ABC's of Genuine Happiness

Accept your reality

Be present. Be Bold.

Create something exciting.

Drink plenty of water. Dance

Exercise daily. Eat fresh foods

Feed your emotions. Face fear.

Go outside and observe nature. Give.

Hug often. Help others.

Ignite your passions.

Jump through your comfort zone.

Kiss passionately. Keep looking forward.

Laugh. Love. Learn to let go.

Meditate daily. Make goals

Never give up on what you want.

Own a pet. Observe beauty.

Pray, paint, play an instrument.

Quit a bad habit. Quite your mind.

Read. Relax. Reinvent yourself.

Smile. Sleep.

Take power naps. Talk Wisely

Unleash your strengths.

Vent. Visualize your dreams.

Walk. Write. Watch the sun set.

Xerox your smiling face.

Yell less. Yield to your thoughts.

Zap negativity

From Thehappyself.com

good song

YouTube - ?Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep (Ft. Jimmy Buffett)??

Doesn't this song lift your mood?

I like it.

monday

I feel good. I think the Thyroid medicine is kicking in....I almost feel normal again.
I have more energy than I've had in well over a year.
Hopefully it's here to stay!

It's 98 degrees today. Mix the high temperature with high humidity and it feels like it's 105.

Yesterday there was a Gay Day Parade at Fountain Square in Cincinnati.
I wanted to go to honor my best friend who had passed away but I was still in the hospital.
Daughter and two of her friends went though..........it made me happy that they went and had a great time. They brought home bunches of colorful condoms. :O)
I thought a lot about my friend yesterday. I swear to you he was the funniest guy I've ever known. You couldn't help but love him. Thinking of him makes me smile.

We-Ping and Mr. Bojangles are doing well.
I have extra water bowls outside for them, and make them come in more often because of the heat.
The kitchen floor must be cool. That's where they go and sprawl out when they come inside.

Boyfriend took daughter and I out for dinner this evening.
Boyfriend had steak. Daughter hd salad. I had broiled shrimp and salad. It was pretty good, and we had a nice time.

sunday

I was admitted to the hospital via the ER Saturday.
I woke feeling like I had something the size of a plum stuck in my throat. That combined with the recent abnormal EKG, and the heaviness I was feeling in my arms, scared me. SO I went........and since my EKG was still abnormal they admitted me.
After all was said and done, the cardiologist thinks the whole throat thing is gastric reflux. He thinks the heaviness in my arms is caused by anxiety...................and the abnormal EKG, though concerning, is not life threatening.
I follow up with the cardiologist I met in the hospital one day this week for the stress test that my insurance denied. He said he'd take care of the insurance company.
SO that's that.......

I bought a newer car this past Friday.
I've been looking for one for at least half a year,
I didn't really want to buy one but sis will need my old one to get to school this fall, and to get to work.
I wanted a newer used car with low miles, leather interior, sun roof, and in my price range. I'm cheap though.........I was beginning to believe that what I wanted, especially price wise, did not exist. Friday on a whim I stopped at the place son owrks & found a car that had everything I wanted except that it was a Ford. Son even said he was going to call me about that car but didn't because he knows I don't like Fords.
It was a compromise I could live with though.
It's a Ford Fusion. It's cute.
They gave me sons employee discount, and didn't charge me all those silly fees.
And I insisted that they knock two points off the interest rate offered to me. They agreed.
Over all I feel like I got a good deal. (don't rain on my parade, Billy!)

stuff

My computer is fixed.
It had several viruses and other crap.
The computer guy fixed it. Boyfriend put better virus protection on it.........

Last night and today daughter and I moved her stuff to the big bedroom / her big brothers old bedroom.
We re stained the wood work around the windows and doors, threw away some furniture, packed away a lot of her high school stuff, exchanged stuff from one room to the other, and cleaned all the walls and windows.
We also shopped for new sheets and comforter set, a new lamp, and a cool Marilyn Monroe picture.
Now both upstairs bedrooms are clean, purged, and organized. It looks good. ( I know the paneling isn't very pretty. I don't have it in me to paint it, and I'm afraid of what I might find if I remove it.)

It was fun spending time with daughter.