tuesday

work sucked today. it was a big cluster of a mess. it sucked yesterday too. our boss is becoming more and more hostile. i react to hostile people with hostility some of the time. i tell myself to keep my mouth shut. i tell myself to remain calm. i tell myself not to react in a negative way............ most of the time i listen to myself..............................yesterday i did ok.....................today not so much.............................. i know i will pay for it.............

i was at mom and dads' house sunday. we sat at the table, me, dad, and 2 of my sisters, and looked at photos. i found 2 pictures of mom that i love........i had them enlarged, framed them, and hung them in my dining room...............i keep going in the dining room to look at her......smile back at her, even kissed her..................................mostly though i just want her back........

dad is having a tough time. i wish i knew how to help him. me, my sisters, and some of the grandchildren are spending time with him together and separately....sharing stories about mom with him. listening. just being there......

oldest nephew read for dad at moms funeral, a letter dad wrote to
mom after she had died.
it comforted me even though it was sad.

i loveyou, me-me.