Holiday Picture

My son and his friend.

My Day

We took my daughter out for breakfast and then shopping today. She has a bunch of gift cards from Christmas that are burning a hole in her pocket!
I ended up spending money that I hadn't planned on spending. It was fun. I bought some pretty wine glasses, a jacket, workout clothes, undies, slippers, candles and a book. I'm having a glass of wine in one of my new wine glasses and a piece of chocolate as I sit here typing.......and I'm burning one of my new candles........my feet are warm cause I'm wearing my new slippers! Life doesn't get much better than this!

I paid my sons 2nd semester college tuition today. YAY! It's always a relief to get it paid. Have I mentioned lately how proud I am of him?

I go back to work tomorrow. Bummer. I can kinda understand the woman who recently faked being abducted as a way to get out of going to work that day.

It's been a year since my neighbor killed his wife, daughter, daughters boyfriend, 2 family dogs and the family cat. He received 3 life sentences without a chance for parole. I wonder if he feels guilt. I wonder if he misses them? I wonder if" BUBBA's" had his way with him yet?

Just Do It

I switched to the new blogger. I'm not sure if I've screwed things up or not. TESTING!

Things Parents Say

When I was a little girl my dad used to tell me "you're the best girl in the United States of America AND Mexico!"........... he cracks me up.

James Dean and his Flame

I love my mom and dad. Dad calls her Flame, and Mom calls him James Dean.......they've been together since high school. Dad spent much of his early childhood in an orphanage, and mom was born to a 15 year old child......they didn't have much in their favor & yet they managed to make a pretty remarkable life for themselves. A seemingly happy, and fullfilling life.
I'm proud of them, and feel very greatful.

Sucking Toe

My daughter says it's in style to have longish toenails. Gross. I'll keep mine short!

My friend Chuck has the prettiest feet, which is saying a lot cause i don't usually think of feet as being pretty. He says he enjoys when his lover sucks his toes and such.......so one time while at the party cove in Cumberland we started talking sex and feet. I couldn't relate. I was sitting with my feet hanging over the boat. D's husband grabbed my foot and started licking my foot and sucking on my toes. So OK....it did feel good. Sex, feet.....it's all good.

My daughter was crowned queen of the SnowBall Dance (winter formal).......she was hoping not to win, almost turned down her nomination because she was afraid of having to slow dance with whoever would be crowned king( she's never slow danced with a guy ), and she was worried some of the other girls would be mad at her if she actually won. She managed to dance with the guy who was crowned king even though he was like 5 inches shorter than her........and yes, a couple of the other girls on the court booed her when her name was announced......I guess BEING the queen and NOT being the queen has it's ups and downs. Most of us have experienced being NOT THE QUEEN........I'm glad she got to experience the other side of it....even if it wasn't so perfect!

Finished putting up my Christmas Tree this evening. It looks beautiful. We-Ping hasn't tried to climb it yet. So far she's content just sitting under it.

I love Christmas.

Stuff

I injured my knee today clogging. Clogging is kinda like tap dance except the shoe has a double tap, and you move your feet to the down beat,keeping pace with the tap on your heel...........it's NOT square dancing........it's not Irish line dance....but close........I started clogging cause I wanted to do something with my daughter that i thought we'd both enjoy. She quit after several months. That was several years ago. I've continued cause i love it and it's good exercise. But mostly cause I love it (i'm not to fond of exercise).

I'm wondering if during my exit interview I should mention that the HR person is sleeping with several of the male employees, in her office, and outside of work? It's tempting, but I guess I shouldn't be that way.

My son registered for his second semester of college and emailed me the bill. Have I mentioned lately how proud I am of him?

I'm happy. I feel good. My dads scan results show that the cancer hasn't spread beyond the prostate. I've been having trouble breathing ever since he was diagnosed. I think it's just anxiety. I feel better since getting the scan results.

We-Ping is 100% back to normal since having been spayed. She gets her stiches out Saturday.

a shared moment

Was in my car today sitting at a red light, looked at the car next to me, met eyes with the man in that car................usually i'd look away........this time I kept looking, and so did he......our eyes were locked....and I didn't feel uncomfortable, and I knew that if i knew this man, I'd like him. The light turned green.....we smiled at each other and then went about our separate lives.

3

Several months ago I overheard a conversation between my bosses boss and one of the housekeepers. They were rating women on a scale of 1-10 based on their looks. My bosses boss rated me a 3.
I've been pissed at him ever since. The housekeeper is my work friend. He verified what I had overheard.

Today my bosses boss asked me what I thought about his new 24 hour report form. I told him on a scale of 1-10 I'd give it a 3....I didn't elaborate.....I seldom do....I just walked away.
Later in the day as my shift was ending, he walked past my desk. As he walked by I held up a nurses note with the #3 written in the middle of the paper. A big, bold, black #3 for him to see.. He looked puzzled. I smiled and told him it's my evaluation of his job performance......."on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest score, ten being the highest score, I give your work performance a 3! I bet your performance in bed is probably a 2 but that part is just a guess. AM I right?"...then I smiled and waited in anticipation for his response.
I was so proud of myself because i'm usually reduced to a grade school student in the principals office when talking to this man. I didn't stammer, or stutter, or shy away.....and it felt GOOD! His response was a look of stunned confusion. I walked away.........went directly to my DON's office, told her I quit, told her what I had done, and why i did what i had done. She looked a little amused, and surprised. She told me she was going to talk to dickheads boss and let her know what happened and she'd call me tomorrow. She counted my cart with me, and I went home.
I always try to do the right thing. I always try to do the responsible thing....I know I should have handled the situation differently......but (there's always a but)this shy, quiet, Kentucky girl is tired of playing the game........i'll have a new job tomorrow if need be.

Recovering

 
Still a little lethargic, but on the mend! 

Friday

WePing had her surgery today and all went well. I couldn't wait to get her home where I knew she'd be well taken care of. She's in my bed covered up with my blanket, sleeping off the drug/drugs they gave to her. I love that little fur ball of a cat.

Thanksgiving was nice. I worked and earned double time and a half,had a nice dinner with my family, and now I'm on a 3 day weekend. YAY!

Took my daughter to lunch today and talked to her about sex, birth control, pregnancy, boys,& self respect....after lunch we stopped at my parents house to drop off a list of the top 100, greater cincinnati, northern ky. high school basketball players of all time, according to the cincinnati enquirer. my dads monday newspaper wasn't delivered and so he was missing part of the list. he wanted it, so i got it off line and took it to him.

we recently had our state survey at work. one of the inspectors asked me how i monitor my staff for burn out. i almost laughed. i found it ironic that she'd ask me of all people that question.

Hunting

I'm off work today. I might try to finish up my Christmas shopping, or I might just go back to bed and sleep away the day. We'll see.

My x-love, the guy from PA that moved to Arizona, has invited me to his work Christmas party. I'm not going to go.

WePing gets spayed Friday. We should do the same to women and men who abuse and neglect their children.....

My son shot a buck and a doe this past weekend. I like deer steak cut into strips, marinated in worchester sauce, and then cooked on the grill. I hate hunting season because i worry about my sons getting shot. i love hunting season because i know my sons are having a great time, and making memories with their dad.

The verdict is in......i'm going back to bed.

Margaret Sanger Might be Proud?

Worked today.
I still hate it.

WePing (my cat) carried a bag in her mouth from my sons room to my daughters room.
My daughter runs down the steps carrying this bag, screaming "GROSS, I'M GOING TO VOMIT!" She drops the bag on the dining room table. I'm thinking that it's probably going to be a rotten apple, or some food article growing mold, right? WRONG!
I peek in the bag and I see 2 used condoms. .........(yay! he's using condoms!)......what to do?

My Favorite Commercial

LEVIS






"Because you're mine, I walk the line."

Thanksgiving Dinner

I have to work Thanksgiving Day. But that's OK because I will be paid double time and a half. And then I will take a 3 day weekend. YAY!
I'll cook after work. But I'm not making a turkey dinner. It grosses me out. I just don't like it, and refuse to make one ever again!
I tried to talk my kids into having pizza and pumpkin pie that day, but they SaID NO.
So i'm thinking i'll make a ham, sweet potatoes, macaroni N cheese, greens, cranberry sauce and corn bread. I'll also make pumpkin pie, cheese cake, and pecan pie.

Fast Days

The police have been investigating one of our high school teachers. Seems he's been partying with some of the students. The cops video taped him smoking pot with 3 of the football players, and to boot, they were smoking the pot on the front porch of one of the board of education members home...the board members wife is a teacherat the middle school.
I know the board member and his wife. They are nice people and have done a lot of good for our community. It was depressing watching them on the evening news being handcuffed and arrested. Apparently they have been supplying alcohol to some of the students, including their own son who is the HS quarter back.
The pot smoking teacher, a 25 tear old, the one on video smoking pot with students has been fired.
I'm not sure what will happen to the other 2.
I like them, but what the heck were they thinking? I mean come on, how stupid can you be?
Charges aren't going to be filed against the kids who were on the video tape. Apparently a 17 year old doesn't know it's not ok to smoke pot if a teacher is doing the same, according to the police. One of the kids is a cops son.

Our Field

This is where the parade ended. It's the high school football field. They're generous with the field, and allowed us to use it for our Cranberry Bowl..................................................... Artificial turf was put in this past summer. The company who laid the Philidelphia Eagles field, did ours. The school didn't ask the tax payers for a dime. It was paid for through fund raisers and donations.
We're pretty proud of it.
One of the high school football players couldn't afford new football shoes. I think he wears a size 15................ hadn't had a new pair in 2 years. The Cincinnati Bengals caught word of his delimma and donated a brand spanking new pair of football shoes to the boy. 

Condo

WePing has a new condo. I'm excited to decorate it for christmas, kinda like Snoopy's house. 

Pretending

Yesterday my mom and dad stopped by the big football game.
I almost asked my dad how he was feeling, then stopped myself. I thought it would sound lame. So we just smiled and talked about the kids, and pretended he wasn't just diagnosed with cancer.

I feel sad for him.

The Big "C"

My dad has cancer.

I don't know many more details because they (mom and dad) still feel the need to protect us (my sisters and I) from the big bad world. We'll kinda have to learn more bit by bit until we have the whole picture.
I do know he has elected to go with radiation tx, rather than surgery.

daughter and bestest friend

 

Parade

My daughter (in the middle) with a few of her buddies playing before the parade. 

Endings

This is my weekend off of work. YAY!
My daughter was in a parade yesterday. It was hosted by the organization for whom she cheerleads. It's her 5th and final year with the organization (YAY!) and so yesterday was especially important to her.
The parade ended at the football field where the final football game was played and won by our team, 3 TD's to 1 TD....I don't remember the exact score.
All and all it was a fun day.

Near Death (kinda, sorta) Experience

Ever since my divorce I have had a recurring dream of an airplane crashing into my house. In the dream I hear a plane coming towards my house & I know it's going to hit...... in a panic I run ............as i'm running, the plane hits the house and explodes............A huge fire ball consumes my home. I run from the fire but can feel it burning my back. Then I wake from the dream.
Today at work as I'm going about my daily chores and probably cursing someone under my breath, I hear an airplane coming towards the building.........the roar of the engine getting louder and louder.............and I can feel a vibration under my feet......for a moment I think that because of my dream, the panic I feel must be an over reaction. Then I see our administrator and attorney run from the office with fear all over their faces...... and I hear dead silence from the room behind me that just seconds ago had 25 people talking and enjoying lunch. I was petrified! I stood there trying to gauge what direction the plane was coming, where it would hit, and what my best option for escape might be. And then it passed.
We all went outside to the back courtyard. Lazy Joe, the grounds keeper was out there,pale & shaking. He pointed above the roof and said "it flew right over. it was so close I could have hit it with a rock. it barely made it over those trees."
We stood and talked about what would have happened had the plane hit our building, and decided we all surely would have perished. One employee had run out to get some iced tea. She would have been the lone survivor. I asked her if she thinks she would have suffered from survivors guilt. "Hell no!" was her response.................I aint mad at her............and that's it.

8 posts in 1...so there.

I voted yesterday. My voting place was moved this year from my neighbors basement to a used car lot.
I stood in line for about an hour. I had to stand there and look at the guy who was guarding the machine, or giving out instructions, or whatever.........but I had to stand there and try not to stare at his stretched marked belly that hung below his shirt. I had to resist not walking over to him to pull down his shirt. His rotten teeth distracted m from his belly for about a minute.
All in all I feel pretty good about my choices, and it always feels good to exercise my right to vote!
On my way home from voting, some guy was standing on the highway holding a VOTE FOR P sign. I beeped and gave him a thumbs up . He yelled "thank you." It made me feel guilty for not voting for him.


I'm on call this week. Some dude called in sick last night at 12:15 am for a 3pm-11pm shift, and then he wanted to engage me in conversation. I hung up on him, and I don't feel guilty....as a matter a fact, I wish he'd call back so that I could do it again.

One of the patients in our facility called my boss a "mother fucker." It made me laugh cause he took the words right out of my mouth! I signed to the social worker a ^5. She laughed.

My dad should get his biopsy(prostate) report back tomorrow. I talked to him on the phone this evening, several times.....and he says it's no big deal, nothing to worry about. I worry anyway.

One time I had a patient who loved french fries from McDonalds. Since all of his family was either in prison or the gutter, and since he had no way of getting out to buy some, he rarely got to eat them. Every once in a great while I'd stop off and get him an order of fries. It was fun watching him eat them. He'd smack, lick his fingers, and savor each and every fry. But anyway, one day he was eating his fries and kinda got choked on one.......not Heimlich Maneuver choked, but coughing and face turning red choked. Another of my patients whispers to me "he's choking"...and I whisper back "yea. do you think we should call 911?" He says "yes"........so I ask him "do you know the number to 911?" He thinks about my question for a minute...........looks over at another patient and says "what's the number to 911?" He was serious as a heart attack. I guess you had to be there, and know these people......but it cracked me up.

I want to buy a piano, and learn how to play it.
I want to learn a foreign language. (I could curse at co-workers without them knowing it)

Speaking of janice Joplin.....I'm a big fan.....she's great to listen to when your angry,PMS'ing or doing housework...........if I could be a rock star, I'd wanna be her....except I wouldn't be a drug addict....or maybe I'd be a drug addict for a minute, but I'd get my act together way before the drugs could killed me.

When I was a kid I dreamed of being the first female, professional baseball player. I wanted to play for the Cincinnati Reds. My uncle played for them, and he was my idol. He was my idol until I realized he was a racist, and probably a drunk.
I never made it to the pros. I gave up on that dream when I decided I wanted to be an actress. My cousin made it to the pros, and played for the Reds.....and he's not a racist or a drunk.

kitty with her toy heads

 

kitty stuff

We had lots of Trick or Treaters! Most of them were cute! My son handed out rubber spiders, rubber roaches, and candy. We ran out of the good candy, so I used the sugar free crap that was stashed in my bedroom. (I hope it doesn't give the kids diarrhea!)

Took WePing to the vet today. She weighs 5.2 lbs., is healthy, and of course so darn cute. She got 2 shots......which was kind of sad cause she didn't understand why pain was being inflicted on her. Made me want to cry. The vet is surprised that WePing doesn't meow. He says Siamese cats are typically very vocal. I've only heard her meow twice since we've had her. I guess she's just the quiet type? The vet gave kitty 2 stuffed toy heads for being such a great patient. Kitty loves them!

tHE Last of mY sUMMER fLOWERs

 

Death of A Car

My son called me at work yesterday. "Mom, I have really bad news." I hate hearing those words! It scares me. I brace myself AND start a mental list of what may have happened. "mom, I wrecked my car." and then "it's gone, mom. it's gone." (his beloved car is dead) I'm rejoicing in my head that he is alive and not physically harmed, his brother and sister are alive....my parents are alive....my boyfriend is alive....my sisters and their families are alive....weping hasn't been run over.....the house didn't burn down.......the new plumbing didn't explode, no one is pregnant, no one is in jail .....
He bought the car with his hard earned money. He worked on it his senior year, in auto body.....fixed the dents, holes and rust....painted it himself....put on new mirrors....new dash, lights, tires, brakes,exhaust, stereo..........and to boot, he only had liability insurance. He is crushed.
I told him I would help him get a new car, or help him to get this one fixed. He says "No. I"ll rig this car and then work like a dog to get a newer, better car." (bless his heart)
It's times like this I wish I was rich, ya know?

Sugar and Spice

This is my daughter.
She's growing up and I'm having a difficult time letting go. I look at her and wonder "when did you stop being my little girl?" I catch glimpses of her every once in awhile, and it makes me happy and sad all at once. I miss my little girl. 

More WePing

 
Doesn't dhe look like a grump? 

WePing

  

Stuff

My sons friend called the other night to see how many pumpkins I want. Told him NONE! The next morning as I was leaving for work I counted 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13....that's right! 13 pumpkins placed about my front yard..one was already carved....cracked me up! (little fuckers!)

Today we went to the gambling boat in Indiana. Gambling is not usually my thing because i'm anal with my money same as I am with everything else.....but I thought what the hay, just go and have fun.....so being the big spender, I took 60 bucks...blew 40 of it, played the last 20....almost lost it, won it back, and then cashed out.....all in all, even though i lost $40, it was a good day!

My son's mid term grades are as follows....2 A's.....2 B's.....and 1 C.
He was written up at work for telling his boss to "grab this"....you can decide for youself what he was telling his boss to grab..............so his boss hands him the write up....my son reviews it, and then corrects his bosses spelling. Needless to say,he was fired. He walks that fine line.....I worry about him.

Cops

Another time, I was at the river and under the bridge with friends drinking a few beers. My friend Ron and I decided to leave.(I had a huge crush on him) I gave him the keys to my dads car cause I didn't want to drink and drive. As soon as Ron started the car, we see blue lights n the rear view mirror. The cops come to the car door, ask Ron to step out of the car. Ron gets belligerent, they cuff him, arrest him, and put him in the cruiser. They give me the keys and tell me to go home. So I'm driving to pick up some friends, and I see blue lights, again.I'm thinking it was a set up. He told me to go home so that he could arrest me for drinking and driving. I pull over and think "oh shit. my dads gonna kill me." The cop comes to my car door and he apologizes to me for having arrested my friend. I was thinking no way is this cop apologizing to me. But it's what he was doing......and I was like "it's OK. I understand." He said goodnight, and off he went...and off I went wondering WTF just happened?

The there was the time that my x husband, Donna, Cliff and I had just been to a school dance. We had a few beers and another 12 pack in the car. We decided to go to the house where supposedly the mafia lived and if you went up their driveway they'd shoot at you. Sounds like fun to me........so we're going up this long private driveway, waiting to be shot at, and we see blue lights. The cop gets out of his car and comes to the drivers window, asks us what we're doing. We tell him we're checking to see if the mafia lives here.......he puts his flashlight on the beer and asks if we've been drinking......Cliff responds by saying "DUH".....the cop instructs Cliff to step out of the car.....he does a sobriety test on him...tells him to extend his arms, close his eyes, and bring his index finger to his nose......Cliff brings his middle finger to his nose instead.......then Cliff looks in the car at us and starts laughing, says, "I just flipped him off".........I'm thinking "my dads gonna kill me"........but the cop looks at me and Donna and says "you look like nice girls. I'm going to let you go on home. no more drinking." So off we went,laughing our butts off, counting our change to see if we had any beer money.

One day, during after prom, my friend Lisa, mike, Ronnie and I had gone to this lake to picnic and party a little. We rented a paddle boat, went out on the lake, and decided to swim. The "NO SWIMMING" sign didn't really mean no swimming, did it? So we've been baking in the sun for several hours and think WTF/ Lets go swimming. Off the boat we jump. We're minding our own business, swimming, laughing......and we hear a mans voice magnified by a blow horn, or whatever you call it..."come to shore immediately!" We're looking around wondering who he's talking to.....this time his command is more insistent "come to shore immediately!" We finally understand that he is speaking to us. I'm thinking "shit. my dads gonna kill me." So we go to shore.........the cop, or park ranger, or whatever he was is near hysterics yelling at us. I don't remember exactly what he said. Something about body bags, and our moms crying. We were laughing but we managed to make it look like we were crying. I think he felt he had gotten through to us (must of been the crying) and he let us go.
We still laugh about it today....

One evening there's a knock on my front door. It's the cops. They tell me my sons, 11 and 15 at the time, may have shot the neighbors dog and garage door window with their BB guns.(the dog wasn't seriously injured) No way! They only have the BB guns out with my permission and supervision. I fiercely defend the boys.....The cop, a mean, nasty, hateful prick says he will be back to gather the BB guns. I call my dad and fill him in...........I don't know what he did or who he called, but about an hour later the cop came back to my house and apologized to me. Once again I'm thinking WTF?
My sons admitted to me this year, much to my surprise, that they had indeed been taking shots at the neighbors dog with their BB guns but "we did not shoot his garage door window out!"

Depressed

I'm depressed. I know all the reasons for my depression too......but when you're depressed, finding the energy to make changes is difficult.

I absolutely dread going to work tomorrow. I worked this weekend,and it was awful. It probably wouldnt be so bad if I wasn't such a control freak. But I am, and so I'm always trying to clean up messes, and fix things that have been broken. I need to just let those things go and just do my job. Let the powers that be worry about the other crap. It's what they get paid to do.

I've been on call since Friday. So sleeping through the night is out of the question. I'm thinking about telling my boss I no longer want to do the on call thing.......I like having the free cell phone and the financial bonus isn't so bad either....but I'm sick of the people calling me in the middle of the night. So we will see............and that's about it......that's my life.

Purging, Dreaming, Reflecting

I cleaned out my hall closet today.
I haven't touched it in atleast 4 years.
I found a journal I kept from when I was going through my divorce. I took a peek, even though I was apprehensive about doing so....There was sadness, confusion, and pain in my writings but what was also there, (and I must say it surprised me) was an over riding expression of hope.
Also in the closet was a little pair of black paten leather shoes that my daughter wore one year for Easter, and an itty bitty pair of snow boots from when she was maybe 4 or 5 years old. It made me smile to see these things. :O)
let's see.....I also found a couple rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, an old pair of draperies, a couple snow coats,a black leather jacket, gloves, and hats......4 or 5 old purses, plumbing fixtures, a Barbie suitcase, a pair of rollar blades, and a bunch of crumbled up papers.
I threw everything away(it feels so good to purge) except for the shoes, snow boots, barbie suitcase,plumbing fixtures, and my journal.
My living room is filled with boxes and bags of crap from my bedroom closet. I need to go through it all, throw stuff out, repack the important stuff, and put it in the hall closet. My bedroom closet will be empty except for clothes, shoes and hand bags.Yay!
My x-love from PA is moving to Arizona, Saturday. He interviewed for a job there on Tuesday, accepted the job, found an apartment, will move Saturday, and start the new job on Monday. I think it's neat that some people can just pick up and move....follow their hearts desire. If it was in me to just pick up and move, I'd move to the Keys. I'd live as simple a life as possible.......I might be happy in a little shack (so long as it was clean)if it was in the Keys, and I'd get a job at Fishermans Hosp. in billing or dietarty, or the gift shop....anything but nursing...
My x-husband the kids and I spent many summers in the Keys. Our Latin friends would come down to the Keys from Miami on the weekend to party....lots of great music, food, dancing, and people. I miss it, and it's where I'd want to live.

ANAL

I had an argument with my bosses boss today & I've come to the conclusion that I'm a control freak. I get pissed when I don't get my way, ESPECIALLY when I know I'm RIGHT.
Why can't he just admit I'm right, and why can't I just let it go? Why do I let these things eat me up inside and make me miserable?

The Christmas Tree

I knew it was going to be a good day when on my way to work "Meet Virginia" came on the radio. I like that song.

Haven't been able to sleep lately. I just want one good nights sleep!

When I was in high school I had a teacher, Mrs. B, who talked about how she wanted a real christmas tree, not an artificial one. She seemed genuinely upset, and disappointed about not having a real x-mas tree.......but her husband wouldn't allow her to buy a real one because he had already bought, and put up an artificial tree. My friends Lisa, John, Mike and I decided that if Mrs. B wanted a real tree, then she would have one....and we'd get it for her!
So we did get her one....and we took it to her house,took down the fake, and put up the real tree for her..I remember her laughing, and clapping and being so excited about us bringing her the real tree..........now.......jump ahead 20t years..........my son's u.s. history class...same teacher that my friends and I brought the tree too......she finds out danny is my son and she tells him about the christmas tree.(I had forgotten about it)..and my son tells me that she giggled the whole time she was telling him the story........then she tells him she has worried all these years that maybe we had stolen the tree................I put her worries to rest......but in all honesty, I can't remember where we got the darn tree.

High School Crush

I didn't sleep well last night. No reason in particular. I just didn't.

I did a little shopping after work. I bought some paint for the hallway outside my bedroom, a carmel scented candle, (it smells yummy), tampons, chocolate, motrin, and some storage containers for some of the crap in my closets and drawers.

My bedroom is 3/4 of the way finished. It looks nice!

I had a huge crush on my high school art teacher. I was in his class my junior and senior year. I used to fantasize about him seducing me,......and of course he'd fall in love and we'd live happily ever after......

I'm going to bed. Niters.

Passing The Torch

While my oldest son was in high school I would on rare occassion find a butter knife in the back seat of my car, or on the steps up to his bedroom. It was so rare that I really didn't give much thought to it. I just kinda filed it in the back of my mind and went on with life.
On his last day of high school I caught the rear end of him handing a butter knife to his younger brother. I was thinking "WTF" and I insisted on an explanation. Seems my son was stealing a butter knife daily from the school cafeteria and I had just witnessed him "passing the torch" to his younger brother.

Cleaning House

My on-call status ended Friday at 5P AND this is my weekend off! YAY!
I got up today and read my favorite blogs, took my daughter to cheerleading practice, came home and took a 5 hour nap! It felt so good!

I threw most of my furniture away sometime last year and have been slowly re-placing it. The only thing I haven't thrown out is my bedroom furniture. I plan on doing that tomorrow. Then I will clean and paint the room.
I want twin beds in the room and a dresser. Nothing else.
My parents still have mine and my younger sisters childhood twin beds. My dad offered them to me. I think they will be perfect!

I'm considering opening up the entrance between my kitchen and dining room. Right now it's the size of a regular doorway. I'd like to have a huge archway, or maybe even knock the wall completely out, and just have one large room.Both rooms are only 12x10 (or something close to that). I'm also thinking about pulling up my wall to wall carpeting. I have beautiful hardwood floors underneath the carpet. I'm just not sure how much work it takes to care for hardwood floors. So we'll see.

Music, Nicknames, ect.

I worked today. I had to orient a new nurse. We had fun. It was nice having an extra set of hands. I caught up a lot of work in preperation for our state inspection. They're due in anyday.

Tommy Poos mom sent us, the nurses who took care of Tom, a thank you letter. It made me cry. I miss him.

I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac......"down there, in the sea of love...."

I'm not sure when to pick my tomatoes. I wonder do I wait until they're orange? And I can't wait to eat my one and only watermelon I have growing.

I once dated a guy who called me Pita (pain in the ass) Girl. I liked it.

I didn't like the book The Life of Pi..........except the part where Pi talks about good-byes.....
I'll have to look up exactly what he said and put it on the blog.

Old Loves

An old boyfriend emailed me today. I was surprised, kinda. I mean I always knew we'd talk again. I just didn't expect it would be today.
He's a guy I met from on the computer. We IM'ed for several months, then talked on the phone, and finally traveled back and forth to see each other. It was a long distance thing...him being from Pa, and me from Ky.
He was very involved in directing community theatre, and was a wonderfully talented man. (I love community theatre)
I went to PA for his opening night of Hamlet. The show was exceptional, to say the least. I picked the music (Enya) for the show and the newspaper complimented my choice :O)
I thought I loved him. He loved me, even proposed marriage. But I wasn't ready for all of that stuff having just gone through a divorce, among other things.
Eventually the relationship ended. There was lots of anger and hurt feelings,,,,blah blah blah.......and then he contacted me, maybe a year or so later, and we agreed to try being friends. That was short lived when I told him I was seeing someone.He left in a huff.
So it's been maybe 17 months since I've heard from him, until today.
I was happy to hear from him, and to talk to him.
We decided we'd give the friendship thing another try.I don't think it will work, based on our history....but we will see.

Chat Room

So I've been going to the same chat room for 5 years. I started going there as a way to help me clear my head of thoughts that kept me up at night. I'd focus on what was being said in the room instead of what was going on in my head. It helped me relax so that I could have some semblance of sleep. I didn't want to talk to these people. I didn't want to form on-line relationshps. I simply wanted to get some sleep.

Then I found myself looking forward to seeing certain screen names in the room. I knew they'd have something funny to say, or I knew they were at odds with someone else in the room and all hell would break loose. And I'd find myself interested in the on going story of some of their lives......like watching an afternoon soap.

SOme of them would try to engage me in conversation. I'd ignore their attempts, or just pretend I had to go.

For 5 years I've been following their on-line rooom chats, and for several years I've been reading their blogs. They're intelligent,articulate, witty, and well read.......all of the things that I'm not.

And it is for that very reason I still don't contribute, or allow them to get to know me.

Skipping School

Today is my off day.
I like to get out of bed early on the days that i'm off work.
It's a great feeling to know you have the whole day in front of you, and your time is actually your own.

The kids are at their dads house. I picked up my daughter this morning and took her to school. She filled me in on her Pringle Chip assignment, and on her present crush, Bret. She's a happy girl......and that makes me happy. I love her little cheeks, and cute nose.

I've allowed my kids to skip one school day a year. The catch is that they have to spend it with me, one on one. They each get a day. I pick the kid, I pick the day, and I surprise them by showing up at school and signing them out after first bell. I know it sounds corny, but kids of all ages love one on one time with their mom.............a time when they don't have to compete with the whole family for her undivided attention.........and some of the time, a mom needs some one on one time with her child because life can get a little crazy and days might go by and you realize even though you see your kids everyday, you havent really talked to them lately, and you're missing them, and you just wanna reconnect. And it was fun being partners in crime with them (helping them skip school)..........we'd usually end up going out for breakfast, and sitting in the resturant talking, taking a drive, and window shopping.............at the end of the day when my other 2 children would get home from school, they'd know right away from the look on the other childs face that he/she had just had her/his day of skipping school........they'd laugh and say.."I get to be next, mom."
I'm looking forward already to skip day with my daughter.

We-Ping (with bad case of redeye)

 

Flower on Pumpkin Vine

It's as big as a mans hand when the bud is open. 

A Picture of My Pumpkin

You think maybe it's a Watermelon?
 

Funeral Planning

Today's my off day. YAY!

My daughter started back to school last week, and seems to be adjusting to her new routine. Her present project is mailing a Pringles Potatoe chip to her teacher. It must arrive edible and in one piece. I'm dying to do it for her. But I won't.

My son started college Monday. He had only positive things to say about it except that his math teacher is retarded.

My pumpkin vine is growing like a, well....like a vine. It reminds me of jacks beanstalk. Except is doesn't grow upwards, it kinda just grows all over the ground. The flowers on it bloom for a few hours, and then die...they're beautiful...... there's new flowers each day. We have 1 pumpkin so far. It's the size of a softball, except it's oblong, and it's green....................and now I have 9 tomatoes! yay!

I went to a funeral today. The father of one of the boys who grew up with my oldest son died from a Heroine overdose. It's a sad, sad, everyone loses, situation.

I've been thinking a lot about my own death and funeral lately. I want to take care of all of the details so that my family doesn't have to deal with it. I'm just not sure what kind of funeral I want. I definitely don't want a funeral like the one I went to today! It's bad enough losing a loved one....and then to have to sit there and listen to some big, greasy, hung over preacher talking about a dead person he never knew, and debating outloud whether or not the dead guy had been saved .....I don't want that for my family. They deserve better...........and so I will give it more consideration, and then I will put in writing what I want, and I will pay for what ever it is that needs to be paid for for a funeral......and I will prepare my will.......yes, I will take care of all of that shit so that i can get on with my life, and breathe a little easier.....so there! Any ideas out there for a great funeral?

Breathing

I sent out 2 resumes today. It's a start! (I feel like I can breathe again!)

Just Take It!

I'm buzzed. I just wanted to go out tonight and forget about what a crummy week its been. I wanted to cut loose, and raise some hell! We went to a concert in the park, drank 4 or 8 beers, sang a little, danced a little and had a whole lot of fun. The band was a southern rock band, I guess. They weren't half bad. They even sang a janice joplin song for me. yay!

Tomorrow is my daughters birthday. She'll be 14. She has 2 friends spending the night tonight. They went to the movies, and ever since have been yelling "ask me about my weiner!" A line that they liked from the movie?

Saying Good-bye

One of my patients expired this morning. I've taken care of him for four and a half years.
He was a young guy who had brain trauma and other injuries sustained 5 years ago in a car wreck. His death was unexpected.
He was as annoying as a mosquito on a hot humid night, AND he was as charming and playful as a happy young prince might be.
I wish I had been more tolerant during those times he was a "mosquito."

Often at the end of my work day, especially on days when he was overwhelmingly annoying, I'd walk past his room before leaving the building. He'd yell out "I love you, Jane." I would reply "I love you too Tommy Poo."

I did love him. I still do, and I miss him already.

Hello? I'm talking!

So I read this interesting article........it was funny and informative. I wanted to share it with my boyfriend. I asked him if I could read it to him (it was a short article)........he said yes. As I'm reading to him he interrupts me to ask me a question not related to the article and to tell me something not related to the article..........he just blows off the fact that i'm reading/sharing with him....after I answered his question/responded to him, I didn't bother to finish reading to him, and he didn't seem to notice.
If everything else in our relationship was going ok, it probably wouldn't have bothered me so much. I wanted to scream, but what's the point?

I paid for my sons first semester of college today, and I cried. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of him.

I'm taking my daughter school clothes shopping tomorrow. (May the force be with me.)

We-Ping, my new kitten, had a flea bath this evening. I dried her fur with the blow dryer. She looks like she has an Afro.

One of my patients punched me today. Later he asked me for a cigarette. I told him no. He said "fuck you! Next time i'll break your God damn jaw." (have i told you lately that i hate my job?)

Have you ever notiiced that really old people have huge ears?

I love you

One of my patients said "I love you, Jane" to me today.
It made me feel guilty for hating my job.

An old co-worker sent word to me through my D.O.N. about a job opening where she works. All I know is it's a Hospice job, and my understanding is that I would be doing admissions. I'll check it out.

I haven't been to see my dad. My mom told me not to visit until further notice. She said he is constipated and that "he'll never go if he has visitors"..........lord help me.
She also said he is irritable, and yelling at the staff, but that they put him on Ativan and he's doing a little better.

I'm still amazed when I see how well my mom is doing. This time last year she had 7% cardiac function, major GI bleed & colon cancer. Now here she is instructing the family on when NOT to visit my dad. Cracks me up.

This-N-That

My dads surgery went well. The staff in the recovery room loved him. Seems he sang some Elvis Presley songs to them.

I worked today. I hated every minute of it except for my lunch break. I take my break in my car and I usually read.

I cut the grass this evening. It's hotter than hell out there!

I'm growing lettuce, pumpkins, and tomatoes this year. They're all doing great. The pumkin plants have beautiful yellow, and orange flowers on them.........the lettuce is ready to be picked, i think, and so far I have 2 tomatoes. yay!

One of my nurse aides is pregnant and due any day. It's her 11th child. She's 28. (i'm not kidding)

My son lost his class ring a couple months ago. We found it yesterday! I lost my high school class ring in the ocean while on my senior class trip. I hope that someday someone finds it, and returns it to me.

I have 4 sisters. They all have straight, blonde hair and blue eyes. I have curly, auburn hair and brown eyes.

My Dad

My son will be 18 on Aug. 6. He will start college Aug.21. I've spent the last 2 days cleaning, re-decorating, painting and re-organizing his bedroom as a birthday gift to him. I can't wait until he sees it! Oh, and I got him a new desk, comfy desk chair, and created a space for him to do his studying. It looks pretty good. I hope he loves it. :O)
My dad is having surgery tomorrow. He's having a total hip replacement. I know he's scared. It's only normal to be scared..........but he will be ok........his five daughters are nurses and we will do everything in our power to make sure he gets good care.
I love my dad. How he survived raising 5 daughters is beyond me........xox to my dad.

A Lonely Picnic table

I can't sleep. Woke up coughing, stuffed up nose, shoulders and back aching. I'm sick and I wish I had a shot to make me feel better.
I probably could have slept through getting sick, but I had a nightmare of sorts. Recently my neighbor murdered his wife, daughter, daughters boyfriend and the family pets. As I was driving by their house today, I again looked at the picnic table in the back yard of that house. The table is one of those big, orange and yellow bulky tables you buy for younger children. It's been there since Sunny (the daughter) was a little girl. It sits there alone, in the yard of what is now a vacant house. Little Sonny used to play at that table making mud pies and sticks and rock stew............back when she still had a future on this earth, back before her father called her from her boyfriends house to tell her to come home right away because something was wrong with her mother, and when she came home like the good girl she was, she was murdered by that bastard of a father. I hope she didn't know that her mother had already been shot. I hope she didn't see her pet dogs lying there bleeding. I hope she didn't have to watch her father kill her boyfriend......and i hope that her, her mother and her boyfriend are in heaven holding hands, no longer afraid, living a happy afterlife. Seeing that picnic table day after day makes me feel sad, and yet I worry each day when I drive by that it will have been removed.
In my dream I was inside Sonnys house, going from room to room, looking for clues, trying to figure out how things could have gone so wrong. As I walked through the house someone begins to play the piano in one of the other rooms. I instinctively know it's Sonnys dad. I am consumed with fear but I know ihave to face him, the bastard that he is...........suddenly the house shows signs of being in the process of being rehabed, and although the changes are nice, they anger me. I am in the same room as her father and I lie to him about liking the changes to the place because I know it's the only way to stop him from hurting me.....................and then I wake up.............and here I sit, feeling sick....and a little more than sad for Sunny.

We-Ping

My new kitty, We-Ping. I've had her for 3 days. She had been abandoned. I took her to the Vet yesterday. He said she's Siamese, 3 weeks old, and she weighs 1/2 a pound. The poor thing was infested with fleas, dehydrated, and scared. 

Losing It

One of the things I miss about being married is having someone next to me in the bed at night. It feels good to lay in bed and be able to talk to someone, or hold them, have sex with them, or just listen to the other person breathe until you drift off to sleep.It's comforting, and it's something I took for granted.

I worked today. I wanted to walk out. I wanted to say fuck it, but I couldn't because I need the income. The little things that I used to take in stride, like when the pharmacy and medical doctor are in a power struggle,and their power struggle is wasting my valuable time, and all I want is my FUCKING patients medicine but I can't get it because of THEIR FUCKING struggle, I don't know how to handle those things anymore. I find myself wanting to tell them all to fuck off, and I want to throw the phone against the wall until it breaks into a million little pieces, and then walk out and drive to a friends house and have a cold beer. But instead I hold my frustration in and end up with this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm definitely losing it, and it's just a matter of time until I do blow up and end up losing my job.

When I came home from work I went skinny dipping in my pool. The water felt like silk against my skin. It was relaxing and liberating. I highly recommend it if you ever get the chance.

regrets

I think it hit 94 today, and the humidity is very high. It's gross outside. When I got home from work I peeled off my scrubs and went swimming. It felt good.
My kids are with their father till Wed. They stay here a week, and then there for a week. After the divorce he bought a house down the street, up the hill around the corner. It's worked out pretty well. We're in walking distance to each other which has made it easier on the kids, especially when they were younger. I talk to all of them everyday, and they're in and out even while at their dads house. The ideal situation is for kids to live together with their mom and dad, under one roof. I had that while I was growing up, and I was grateful for it. I wish I could have given that to my children.

On Call

My on call status started Friday at 5PM.
My first call came at 1AM....Me:this is Jane
Chris: hi jane. I wanted to know if I could leave an hour early.
Me:who is this
Chris:it's Chris. I'm really tired and wanted to know if I can leave an hour early.
Me:No
Chris:T!
Me:good night Chris
The second call came at 2:30A
Me:this is Jane
Linda:Hi Boo Boo!
Me:
Linda:you awake girl!
Me:Hi Linda. What do you need?
Linda:I can't make it to work tomorrow.
Me:You're calling off for 3P-11P?
Linda:yes!
Me:you're waking me at 2:30a to call off for 3-11?
Linda:(giggles)I'm sick
Me:I'll take you off the schedule. Don't call me anymore before 5a if you're calling off for the evening shift.
Linda:you know I love ya!Tell Chuckie Poo hi!
3rd call came at 3am
Me:this is Jane.
Gloria:the toilet in the shower room is running over. It's out in the hallway and everything!!
Me:call enviromental!
5am....alarm goes off....time to get up for work.......my kitty is sound asleep next to me, and i'm jealous.

Kitty

 
This is my new kitty. Her name is Penelope 

Mr tree

 
This is the maple tree in my backyard. 

Walking A Fine Line

So I changed my AOL settings to Spanish to see what it looks like. Now I can't figure out how to change it back cause I can't read the Spanish. Mother Fuck me!

Work was just the usual day in paradise. Supply shortage, patient overload, welfare people who think they are at the Hilton, and I'm their butler. I'm having a meltdown.....I even offered the Administrator $100.00 if he'd move a particularily difficult patient to another unit, and I begged my D.O.N. to do the same....I told her I was walking a fine line and he was gonna be the one to push me over. They thought I was joking until I burst into tears. Is it normal to cry everday at work? Is it normal to feel like your head and stomach will explode at any given moment out of frustration, while at work? Is it normal to walk away from another person while at work, and as you are walking away you whisper "fuck you, you dick head!" and flip them the bird? Cause if it is, things here are fine and dandy!

Roses, Cajun chicken, Wonderful kids

Worked today. I don't need to be practicing nursing anymore. I'm so pathetically burned out.
I just can't do it anymore. The demands are more than I can handle, or maybe more than i care to handle.....who knows?
I wonder if there's help out there for nurses that are truely burned out. I'll have to do a little research.
On the homefront, my son brought roses home to me yesterday. Lovely pink and red roses with baby breath.......and if that wasn't enough, he told me he was going to cook supper. He made some delicious cajun chicken. He's my oldest son, and the best young guy in the world. If ever there was a perfect kid, it would be him. I don't know what I did to be so lucky in the kid department (knock on wood)but I've truely been blessed with wonderful children.

July 3

Today is my off day...yay!
When I woke up this morning I stayed in bed and finished the book i've been reading. It was a happy ending, just the way I like it!

Tomorrow is the 4th, and I have to work. I will get paid double time. Since it's a holiday, it shouldn't be too busy, and even though I hate my job, I don't mind going in if I'm being paid double time.

We are having a grill out tomorrow when I get home from work. The pool is filled and clean, and ready to go......i'm very much looking forward to spending 4th of July evening with my kids and boyfriend.

My kitty hasn't come home. I miss her. I hope she isn't homeless, hungry and lonesome. I still hold out hope that one day I will open the kitchen door and there she will be. I will scorn her for leaving, but mostly I will kiss and pet her.

My x husband has been riding his motorcycle across America for the past couple weeks.
We talked on the phone a few days ago. He was in California when we spoke. It sounds as though he's met some interesting characters, and is having a great time. And while I am happy that he is fullfilling a life time dream, it would have been nice if he had used the money he has spent on his trip to help pay for his sons college expenses.

come home kitty!

  

My neighbors cat, Crooked tail, was in my driveway this morning. It gave me hope that my kitty, Laqeesha, had come home. I went to the front yard, out in the street and to the back yard to look for her, but no kitty. I called for her, and I jingled the chime that hangs on the door, but still no kitty. :O(

my missing kitty

  

Missing

I miss my cat.
She's been missing since Sunday.
She's the first thing I think of in the morning.
I go to the kitchen door with the hope she'll be there, but she never is......the last thing I do before bed is call for her, but she never comes.
I wait, I hope, and I worry.
I want her home.

the night is young and so are we

I'm thinking I will call my old friend Terri, soon.
We've been friends since the 3rd grade.
We may go for months without seeing each other but when we do get together it's like we haven't missed a beat.
She's more fun than any of my other friends. We just "get" each other and we laugh non stop when we're together.
We're different, her and I. She lives for the bar scene, and I'm a home body. I like her world every once in a very great while. Getting dressed up, and going out for drinks, music, dancing, and flirting.....makes me feel young, sexy and alive.
I don't feel very young, sexy or alive right now, and so it might be just what the doctor ordered.
If I decide to take the job for which i'm interviewing on Thursday, I will give her a call and we will celebrate, in her world.......

xhusband

Lets see.........ran in to my xhusband today. I was driving home from work, sitting at a red light at an intersection near where I live. I heard a beep, looked at the car to the right of me, and there he was. I rolled down the passenger window and we talked while we waited for the light to change. I was happy to see him. I love him. Is it possible to not love someone that you shared 20 years of your life with, and with whom you have 3 children? I suppose it is possible.......but for me it's not....he will always be family to me. I will always hope that he is safe, happy and healthy.....and I will never for one minute regret that part of my life. I love him like one might love an old friend....and I always will.

I'm cooking spaghetti and meat balls for supper. It's one of my favorite meals. I'm gonna skip the garlic bread and salad. The activities director at my work asked me if I was pregnant, and my boyfriend hasn't touched me in months... I'M NOT pregnant, but I have put on some weight, and so for the past couple weeks i've been reducing my caloric intake.

I'm going on a job interview next Thursday. The sign on bonus is a cruise or a shopping spree. It's worth looking in to.......& that's it in a nut shell! PEACE!

Things that make me smile

the freckles on my daughters face, and her perfect little nose
when my cat meets me at my car when i come home from work
the flowers and plants on my deck
snail mail from my dad
when my sons horse wrestle
when all the lights in the house are turned off, and there's only candle light
when my boyfriend massages my shoulders and neck
when my parents, my sisters and their families, and my family come together to celebrate whatever is happening at any particular time
slow dancing with my sons
pretending to be a rock star with my daughter and using the golf clubs as microphones

enough is enough

OMG I hate my job. I have no patience anymore, non....zip, zero......nill.....I was this close to walking out today...............I used to be a nice person, really I was.............but now, well now I have zero patience or tolerance for most of my co-workers. "Fuck you" & "kiss my ass" are at the tip of my tongue throughout most of the day.
I will start looking for a new job today, and it will be far away from the welfare people I currently take care of.....and far away from the ghetto minded people I work with. I've had it with all of them......sick of them and sick of myself!

off day!

Today is my off day. Yay!
List of things to do:
1. Buy and work on scrap book (a graduation gift for my son)
2. Look at some lap tops. (thinking about buying one for my son for a graduation gift)
3. sign/accept financial package from sons college
4. get a hair cut and splurge on a facial/pedicure
5. drop clothes off at the dry cleaners
6. buy my daughters favorite teacher a gift.

Have a great day. :O)

Just An Ordinary Day

I worked today. It was a non stop, 10 things at once kind of day.
My foot is killing me..... doctor says it's plantar faciitis (i think it's a fx from stepping on a huge nail)

Stopped at the pharmacy on my way home.
Picked up my daughter.....we went to the grocery and then I dropped her off at her dads house.
Came home, unpacked groceries, and started supper........my foot is pounding, throbbing, aching.........I wish I had a magic wand to make it go away.

I ordered some goodies from Barnes & Noble. My son gave me a gift certificate for Mothers Day......I bought 2 CD's and 2 books. Can't wait till they arrive.

Judt finished reading Koontz's Velocity (i've been on a Koontz kick) I really enjoyed.....I like his stuff.................

That's it for now...........nice evening.

melancholy

I went to my nieces wedding Saturday. She's 19. I wish she would have have gone to college and lived a little bit before getting married.
I wish her the best.

I picked up a few things for my sons graduation party. I picked out his graduation card. It made me cry. Part of me still sees him as my little boy. Part of me wants for him to still be my little boy. They grow up so fast.

My mom was back in the hospital. I think that she thinks she's not going to make it much longer. It hurts seeing her scared. I know she doesn't want to leave us.I can see the sadness in her eyes, and when we hug, we hug a little tighter and a little longer than we used to. I love her, and I wish I knew how to make it all better.

I won't give up....

I'm off of work today! Yay!
One of the best feelings in the world is waking up and knowing you don't have to go to work. Double "YAY!"
I did a lot of work in the yard last evening. Finished a rock wall around a little flower bed, potted some plants, and burned a bunch of twigs. I want the yard to look great for my sons graduation party.
I can't believe he's graduating. It all goes by so quickly. He's my middle child, and so far has been my most difficult. He's stubborn, strong willed, and opinionated.............and I love the little fucker to death.
I remember when I was at my lowest of lows, and he was at his lowest of lows, and everything was uncertain, and I was scared, as was he.....and probably too caught up in my own saddness to realize how everything was affecting him.....and I remember how he (out of the blue) wrapped his arms around me and said "I won't give up if you won't"................I still feel guilt for having been so caught up in my own pain, that I didn't recognize sooner how badly he was hurting...........and so until he said to me "i won't give up if you won't"......it had never occured to me he might actually be considering giving up. I realized that my children would not be ok until I was.......that i had to fix myself, get back on track, and start living a productive life again, and show them that I was ok, and support them emotionally, and be their rock,and let them feel safe to mourn so that they could heal and get on with life.........and so that's what i did, and what they did too...............and i love him.....and he is wise,and intelligent, and a go getter.....and i'm as proud as any mother could possibly be.

From Pigtails To Boys

My daughter has been talking on the phone to a boy.
She'll be 14 this August.
She has a major crush on him. She's barely had a bite to eat in over a week.
I don't like it one little bit. I had to take a step back to really figure out why it is bothering me. Boys, men, males......well they're not normal, and I don't want my little girl getting hurt. She's sweet, trusting, innocent.....I don't want her getting hurt.
I'm not sure if there's a right age to start allowing girls to talk to boys. She's not allowed to date until she's 16........and so should I be allowing her to talk to this boy? I don't even know him. He's a year older than she...(i guess she likes older men like i do)
Why do things have to change? Why can't she just stay my little girl forever?

Here's Looking At you!

ok...so now you get to be as mean and hateful as you want when asking an old boyfriend, or lover a question.
What would you ask them, or say to them?

To Rich i'd say...fuck you you self centered fag. i'm way too good for you, and NO ONE else is quite as impressed with you as you are with yourself. and PS....I NEVER believed your storys about "your stalker"

Dan.....married men shouldn't date....and when you said "NO" to just watching a movie, what I really wanted to say was......FUCK YOU!

Doug, I'm not your x-wife!...............

Richard,here's looking at you!

old "loves"

Do you ever think about old boyfriends? Do you ever wonder what they've been up to, who they are dating, and if they are happy? Do you wonder whether or not they ever think about you, and if they do, are they pleasant thoughts.
If you had the chance to ask old boyfriends atleast one question, what would you ask them?
I'd love to ask Rich if he was gay. I don't think he'd tell the truth, but I'd still ask, and watch his reaction.
I'd like to ask Dan if he felt anything for me other than a sexual attraction.I would like to think that he actually enjoyed my company and not just because of the sex. If truth be told, i'd like to think that he cared about me.
if I could ask Doug a question, I don't know what I'd ask.
If I could ask Richard one more question, I'd ask him if he was happy (I'd be crossing my fingers hoping that he would say yes).......

I bought a new car and I love it!
My other car I bought brand new, and it's the biggest piece of crap I've ever owned. It was a Ford Tarus. It started falling apart on the 3rd day i owned it. I promised myself I'd never buy a brand new car again, and so I didn't. I bought a newer Hyundai Sonata. So far, so good!
I'm taking a break from cleaning. My house is a mess. We're in the process of laying some new plumbing. We've had to tear up part of my driveway, and dig a trench all along my sideyard. Needless to say, dirt is being tracked in the house and I have dust everywhere from cutting the driveway. I couldn't afford to pay someone to do the work and so my sons, my boyfriend, and my sons friends have been digging and cutting and working like dogs to get the work finished. (what would I do without them?)
I'd better get back to work before one of the guys come in the house and see me sitting on my butt!
Have a great day!

Today sucked.

Downside to my day:
Fighting with my son.
Driving over prescription eye glasses.
Learning that one of my favorite patients passed away.
Arguing with the pediatricians receptionist.
Finding out at 1:30, while at work, that my daughter's school would be dismissed today at 1:30.
Having one of my patients spit chocolate pudding on me.
My boyfriend giving me the cold shoulder at Lowes ( I really had a bad day, and didn't need the added stress.)
Upside to my day:
Hearing that both of my sons showed up at my daughters school to take her home.
Hearing that my favorite patient smoked a cigarette 5 minutes before he died. (he lived to smoke.)
The prescription for my eye glasses hadn't expired and I was able to order my new glasses over the phone, and they were finished by the time I was finished with my work day.
Being told I could take a vacation day tomorrow.

I was off work today. Filled out some more papers for my son for college, went to the bank, grocery shopped, and took a nap.
I'm not sure I can handle all this excitement.

I hate Sundays.
Didn't do much..... Filled out some scholarship, and financial aid forms for my son, napped, watched a little TV, cooked..........all that fun stuff.

Worrying myself sick about money for my sons education. I know that in the end things will work out. They always do. :O)

I'm bored and in desperate need of some fun. I wish I could just pack a bag and take off for Miami Beach. I want to run from my responsibilities. I want to rub oil on my body,lay in the sun, smell the salt from the ocean, listen to the waves, and lose myself in wonderful relaxation.

Today at work we (the patients family and I) had to tell one of my patients that his daughter died. To have to tell a man his daughter is dead is beyond words. After he was told that his daughter was dead, he sat there for a few seconds as still as can be, then picked up the bowl of canned peaches that were sitting on the table in front of him, and took a bite. He pretended not to hear what he had just been told. I was fighting back tears, as was the rest of his family. But then I felt this overwhelming urge to laugh. I don't know why, or where it came from, but I had to struggle not to laugh, and just as suddenly as that feeling hit me, it went away. I hugged the family, wished them well, and left the room.It was sad seeing the pain in the faces of this family. I wish I could take it away.

Valentines Day turned out to be a nice day. I had a quiet evening alone with my boyfriend. He bought me some beautiful Tulips, chocolates, and a cute little stuffed animal.
We just got back from dinner. We went to our favorite steak house. The bread and salad was the bomb!
Tomorrow we're going shopping. I'm buying paint. My boyfriend is going to paint my living room and dining room. I hate to paint. He said he would do it for me, yay! I also want to buy some window boxes for the front windows and for the kitchen window that faces the deck. I'm going to price shutters, and I want a new light fixture for the dining room. I also need a new shower curtain liner, and kitchen garbage can.
I bought a new Swiffer mop thingy. For the first time in like 20 years, i'm excited about mopping my kitchen floor.
That's all......good night!

and the beat goes on......

My son took his ACT Saturday. I hope he beats his girlfriends score. He says her mom looks down on him because he goes to public school. She's ignorant. I forgive her, so long as my son beats her daughters score. :O)

I got home from work yesterday and my boyfriend tells me "a man called here for you."
It sounded and felt like an accusation. My mind went into overdrive trying to figure out what man would be calling me. An old love, an old friend? WHo, Who, Who would be calling me. I *69'd the call. It was my brother-n-law. My sister fell and hurt her back.
If it had been an old love, or old friend, would I have been guilty of anything other than having a past?

Todays horoscope

It may be a lazy day, Aries, so don't worry if you don't accomplish as much as expected. In fact, even the things you start may not feel like they are taking hold. Be gentle with yourself now and enjoy what you can instead of getting frustrated. The energy will shift later in the day and you'll be back on track by tomorrow

"Sick Day"

I called in sick today.I might call in sick tomorrow.
I'm not sick. I just don't want to work.

Another Day

Not much planned for today.
I'm going to the hospital and spend some time with my mom......run to the grocery....take down Christmas decorations, and watch the Bengals/Pittsburg game.

I'm thinking about calling in tomorrow. I just don't want to go. I want to be with my mom instead.

Sickness

My mom is back in the hospital.
Each time she goes in, it's a little tougher to deal with...