my nanny

1 of my most memorable dreams.

 my nanny, who was my dads mother.....a red head.....probably an alcoholic.......that i loved......she outlined her lips to make them look bigger and filled them in with bright red lipstick...and I think her eyebrows were nothing more than a little eyepencil.............she visited my childhood home maybe 4 or 5 times.  i was always fascinated by how much luggage she'd bring and at how big her purse was........and i thought it was funny that she was afraid of cats....... ........when i was in the 4th grade she sent me a dress for my birthday. it was the prettiest dress I'd ever seen........we'd visit her home in wv on rare occassions......her yard was always perfect, and i remember that she always had bottles upon bottles of bubble baths.....it was in her perfect yard that she taught me to play croquet........................she died from a stroke when i was in the 7th grade. I was sorry she died but the sadness I felt was for my dad.

one night i dreamed i was walking a tree lined, narrow street.......it went towards the sun shining down through the tree tops........the street was empty except......................20 feet ahead of me was my Nanny. She was walking and carrying a large, brown suitcase. I called out for her. She waited for me to catch up to her, and then allowed me to walk with her for awhile. I don't think we talked. I was a shy, quiet child, and we didn't know each other very well. I think we just walked and enjoyed each others company. At some point she put down her suitcase, tuned to look at me, and told me it was time for me to go back, that I could not go any further with her........ I didn't feel sad.  I understood she had to go. We said goodbye. I don't think we even hugged. She picked up her great big suitcase and turned away from me. I stood and watched as she walked into the sunlight and I could no longer see her........