on lending money

My long distance friend called the other day. He's the guy who called several weeks ago to make amends, and then to tell me he planned on killing his self, and to ask if I would loan him some money. He'd recently lost his job and would at the end of June lose his car and be evicted from his apartment...........So he called a few days ago & told me he has 2 in person interviews scheduled. He also told me he hasn't thought about hurting his self for a week. He also asked if he could still borrow some money, 2 thousand dollars.......and he also told me that I was probably the love of his life.
He doesn't want to borrow the money if one of the interviews doesn't pan out into a job offer. I guess he's going to kill his self if he doesn't get the job.
When he first asked for the money I thought here's a friend who needs help. If I don't help him he will kill his self.... I truly thought he was suicidal. After giving the situation more thought though, I wondered
why a person would call someone, make amends to them....and then tell them you're going to kill yourself. Why put that burden on someones shoulder? I worried, lost sleep trying to figure out just the right thing to say to stop him from taking his life..............I mean if you're truly going to kill yourself, if your mind is made up, why torture someone by telling them you're going to do it......and then after you die, the person you told the suicide plan about prior to carrying out the act is left living and wondering what they could have done to save your life. So why bother to tell them your plan?...................unless of course you're planning on asking them for money......and you know they're a good person with a good heart.....and maybe a little too trusting..................................but the topper is when you end the conversation with "you were probably the love of my life."
My thoughts on that is this..........if I was the love of his life, why would it take 5 years after the break up to figure it out? It's not a difficult thing to figure out. Either you love someone and want to be with them, or you don 't. It's really quite simple. Don't you think?....so to say it to me right after asking for money is kind of insulting...................but I guess more than anything, I'm angry at myself for not saying "NO" I can't loan you money. I was afraid to say no. I was afraid I'd be contributing to his suicide. I was afraid to say no to a friend. I was afraid to say to him I'm paying sons college tuition & raising a daughter who will be going to college in 2 years, and the money I have tucked away (which isn't much) ensures I can continue to take care of my home and my children should I be faced with some sort of catastrophe.
He was probably making, based on what he told me, about 50 grand more a year than what I make......his children are grown, so he's not paying any child support....................how in the world does a person piss away their whole paycheck from month to month, especially making the money he was making, without any consideration for the future?? How do they not think about saving money for just in case? ....................... I remember a conversation with him from many months back where he told me he was quitting his job.........and I said to him "DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER JOB? FIND ANOTHER JOB BEFORE YOU QUIT YOUR PRESENT JOB!" He dismissed what I had to say.
I'm confused. Is he a desperate man reaching out to a friend for help.............or is he an irresponsible, manipulative man looking for someone to save him because it's easier than putting in the work it will take to save his self.
DOes it matter? Because the reality is this...............I said yes when I should have been honest with him and told him I don't have money to give......not now, not when I have other priorities.

Would I be a terrible person if I told him I've changed my mind. Because if my 2 thousand dollars is enough to "save" him, and if he really doesn't want me to loan it to him unless he is offered a job, and if he's really making 50 grand more a year than what I'm making..............then it should only take him a couple of months to get his finances together, without my help. Right?