cleaning house

So yesterday I cleaned my bedroom walls with Spic n Span, shampooed my bedroom carpets, cleaned the windows, hung new curtains, and packed up a bunch of stuff to store in the extra upstairs bedroom.

I rearranged the bedroom furniture, and threw away an antique chest drawer. I loved it but it's lived it's life!

My bedroom looks good. It feels better now to be in there...........I also cleaned out the dining room buffet cabinets, dusted the buffet and all the pictures on it, and stored away my special occasion dishes. I cleaned a bookshelf, and the dining room table. It's starting to look up I think! (I'm not manic. I still feel tired and deconditioned. But at least for now I'm able to push beyond it.)

 

Today I cut the grass, paid next months bills, balanced my checkbook and cleaned my kitchen floor. 

 

Daughter had cheerleading tryouts today. (I thought it was tomorrow.) She made varsity. I'm relieved. I wasn't sure if the sponsor would retaliate(she is that stupid!) somehow causing daughter not to make the squad. This will be daughters senior year.

I'm looking forward to her graduating and being away from that school. I'm looking forward to being away from that school!

 

I'm still very emotional in that I'm easily brought to tears. It's one of the reasons I stayed on the anti depressants for so long.

I was embarrassed by my crying. Not that I was a bumbling crybaby. But if I was engaged in a conversation with my sons about their cousin being beaten, or our friend Joel dying.......I would cry. I had lost my ability to choke back the tears. The same thing when it came to talking about the divorce or my friend Chucks passing. And when I felt angry, I'd cry. It's how I'd express it. I didn't mean it. I couldn't/can't hold it back.

And now I'm not going to try to anymore. And if that makes other people uncomfortable they will have to deal with it.

I'm just going to let it out if it wants it that way. Fuck it. It wins. I'll cry, and then I will feel better. I'm sick of feeling like shit!

 

Lindsey Lohan is going to die. Just like Michael Jackson did. Drug addicts usually die it seems. Especially if they're a rich addict.

Jesse James cheated because he wanted to fuck other women and he thought he'd get away with it. He did get away with it until he got caught.